


Soliloquy

by Simaril



Series: I'm Only Sleeping [2]
Category: Twilight Series - All Media Types, Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: Bad Sex, Battle Scenes, Bella's Shield, Children of the Mood, Developing Relationship, Edward/Bella Bonding, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Family Feels, Family Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Las Vegas Wedding, Rebuilding bonds
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-28
Updated: 2020-12-12
Packaged: 2021-02-28 02:26:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 34
Words: 98,527
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22936300
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Simaril/pseuds/Simaril
Summary: Edward and Bella have been reunited and are building a new life together. But with the changed family dynamic, and a new threat on the horizon, things are not going to be easy.Sequel to I'm Only Sleeping.Beta: SnarkymuchPre-readers: Gredelina1, Mary-Alice-Brandon-Cullen
Relationships: Alice Cullen/Jasper Hale, Carlisle Cullen/Esme Cullen, Edward Cullen/Bella Swan, Emmett Cullen/Rosalie Hale
Series: I'm Only Sleeping [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1607539
Comments: 44
Kudos: 179





	1. I Fall In Love With You Everyday

**Edward POV**

I stood at the window and watched as Bella and Emmett wrestled in the snow. Jasper was leaning against a tree watching them. His expression serene as he absorbed their gleeful emotions.

I could hear their laughter through the glass, and the sound warmed my heart. 

_She’s so happy._ I had heard Carlisle approach, but hadn’t been able to tear my eyes away from the vision in front of me to greet him.

_And so are you._

“I am.” I felt almost drunk on the feeling of having her with me again. It felt too easy though, I had put her and the family through so much. I couldn’t help but think there was going to be some great karmic price.

“What is worrying you?” he asked.

I had been with Carlisle long enough for him to know when I was hiding something, so there was no point keeping up my pretence.

“I am worried that it is too much. That something is going to happen to destroy it. I’m scared I am going to lose her again,” I admitted.

“I understand.”

He truly did. Thoughts of the months I had missed flashed through his mind, each time they thought they had lost her, only for her to prove them wrong time and time again. He had more faith than I did.

“She came back, Edward. Look at her out there, she’s is so happy. Allow yourself to relax and enjoy this time. She isn’t going anywhere. You have to trust her.” He tried to conceal his next thought but it slipped through. _Just as she must learn to trust you._

I knew he was right, Bella had been open with her love and happiness, but she didn’t truly allow herself to relax with me. It was as if she was saving a piece of her heart, scared that one day be it would be all she had left. With the rest of the family there was no holding back, the bonds that had formed while I was gone were stronger than ever. Especially Jasper.

I fought back the jealousy I felt at thoughts of him, but I was not entirely successful. They had a connection I didn’t fully understand. I knew that it was not remotely romantic, but their closeness was difficult to handle. Especially as I was the one that had forced its creation. Had I not left Bella would never have been hurt. She would not have been forced to rely on Jasper for everything, and she would be completely mine.

It was petty and selfish of me to begrudge Jasper the part of her that was only his, but I couldn’t help it. 

I heard a peal of laughter and looked out of the window to see Emmett spinning around in a circle while Bella clung to his back, covering his eyes.

“What are we doing?” Rosalie asked, joining Carlisle and I at the window. “Oh, Bella watching.”

‘Bella watching’ had become something of a family joke in the two weeks since her return. I was not the only one that indulged in it; there was barely a minute of the day that she was not with at least one of us.

“Look at that big lug,” Rosalie said fondly, watching her husband attempt to dislodge Bella from his back. “I swear, whenever the two of them get together, they regress to the mental age of toddlers.”

“I think it’s sweet.” Esme came to join us, slipping an arm around Carlisle’s waist. He pressed a kiss to her head and pulled her close to him. “It’s nice to see her enjoying herself.”

Like Carlisle, images of a desperately ill Bella flashed across her mind. It made my heart twist to see these, but I did not shy away from them. I couldn’t fully appreciate what they had all suffered with her as I had not been there; these glimpses were the only chance I had of understanding.

Alice slipped out of the front door, and Jasper greeted her with a smile. He wrapped his arms around her waist, and together they watched Bella and Emmett play. It was a perfect moment of peace, and I did as Carlisle advised; I allowed myself to relax and enjoy it.

With a bellowed roar, Emmett was downed by Bella’s shield. He spat a mouthful of snow as she sat on his back.

“Take a picture, Jazz. I want to keep this moment for posterity.”

“Afraid I forgot my camera, Bella. not to worry though, I’m sure you’ll be doing the same thing again tomorrow.”

“I got it,” Alice said jubilantly, pulling a camera from her pocket.

Emmett growled in feigned annoyance.

“Come on, Grizz, smile for the camera,” Bella said, patting his rump. He loved Bella’s new nickname for him, every time she used it his smile would broaden. Alice took the picture just as he registered the name and it made for a great candid shot.

“Now, Emmett,” Bella said seriously. “If I let you up, are you going to behave?”

“I promise,” he said innocently.

He crossed his fingers at his side, and I chuckled at the childishness of the gesture. Rosalie was right; they really were like children when they were together.

Emmett clambered to his feet, rubbing his back. “Geez, Bella, I think you broke something.”

“Oh, poor, Emmett. Do you need Rose to kiss it better?”

“No, I think I just need to…” He lunged for her, aiming to tackle her to the ground, but she was too fast.

With eerie speed she dropped to the ground and swept his feet out from under him.

“How does she do that?” Rosalie marveled. “She should have lost her newborn strength long ago, especially given how long she went without feeding.”

“It’s not about strength, watch her leg,” Carlisle instructed.

I watched as Emmett charged for another attempt and saw exactly what he meant. Emmett fell a split second before her legs made contact.

“Is he doing it on purpose?” I asked doubtfully. It didn’t seem like something Emmett would do, not even for Bella.

“No, it’s her shield.” Carlisle’s tone was marveling. “She uses it like a second skin. I’m not sure she even realizes she is doing it.”

Bella had Emmett pinned to the ground again and was now straddling his back. “Do you forfeit?” she asked.

“Never!” he bellowed, jumping to his feet with her still clinging on. It was the exact position she used to cling to me when I would run with her.

She squealed with laughter as he spun again. Then with a bucking movement he dislodged her, and she fell back into a snow drift.

“Hey, Bella, I think we’ve got an audience.”

Her smile was dazzling as she brushed her hair from her face and saw us all at the window. She didn’t seem to mind that we were watching her like an exhibit in a zoo, instead she waved happily.

“Edward, come play. I think I’ve worn Emmett out.”

I hurried to her side, unable to deny her anything. “What do you want to do love?”

She looked at me appraisingly. “Hmm, how about we go for a hunt?”

“Sounds perfect.” Her eyes were still dark, even though she had hunted every day since her return.

“Awesome, let’s go find some bears.” Emmett said happily.

My heart sank. I hadn’t had any time alone with her since she had found me in the clearing. Each time I had tried, one of the family had found an excuse to tag along. I was sure this time was going to be no different.

“Sorry, Em, not this time. Edward and I are going to have some time alone. You go play with Rose.”

My mouth dropped open at Bella’s words. She hadn’t refused anyone’s offer to accompany us before, and I was equal parts elated and nervous about this change. Emmett pouted, but she ignored him and reached for my hand. 

We ran together through the trees that bordered our property and into the park. I let her lead the way and she took us toward Mount McKinley. It was quiet enough for us to be able to climb the peak without human notice, but she led me to a spot in the mountains shadow and sat on the ground.

Wondering what she was planning I sat beside her, a clear foot of space between us. She shifted closer and pulled my arm around her shoulders.

“Are you okay, love?” I asked. “I thought you wanted to hunt.”

“I do, we can do that later, I wanted to show you this place first.”

I looked around; it seemed an unusual place for a sightseeing trip. Even the view of the mountain was obscured by the surrounding ridges.

“It’s very… pretty?” I didn’t know what else to say. I was sure there was some significance to the place, but I couldn’t work it out.

“This is where Tanya found me,” she said sadly.

I instinctively pulled her a little closer to me.

I had seen in Tanya’s mind the moment she had found Bella and it was not a vision I savored. In a way, it was worse than the memories of her when she was in a coma. To see her human and looking so weak was a shock, but it was nothing compared to seeing a vampire in such condition.

“I’m okay,” she said, patting my hand. “I’m not going anywhere.”

I wanted to believe her, but doubt still gnawed at me.

“You don’t believe me.” She wasn’t asking, she was stating it as fact. She shifted so she was sitting in my lap and locked eyes with me. “I want to show you something. I know the last time I shared my thoughts it didn’t go too well, but will you let me try again?”

I flinched automatically. The last time she had opened her mind to me it had been in the throes of her change, and I had been bombarded with the worst moments of her life. To say I was cautious about repeating the experience would be a gross understatement.

“I won’t hurt you this time, I promise.” She looked at me pleadingly, and I realized just how important it was to her.

“I trust you.”

She pressed her hands to my face, and I felt the curious pressure passing over me again. Her mind opened and I gasped. I was looking into darkness so deep I could barely see a foot in front of me. From the shifting of water, I knew she was showing me her memories of coming out of the ocean. I heard my own voice.

_‘You need to stop now, love. It’s time to go home.’_

_‘Home.’_ Though she hadn’t spoken, I heard her sad voice.

She’d said she had immersed herself in the memories, but I hadn’t realized how real the illusion was. I watched as she propelled herself to the surface, the sun almost blinding her after so long in the darkness.

My voice directed her through the water and then onto land. I felt the fatigue, the fear that she was never going to find us again. My voice coaxed and encouraged, directing her all the way.

I jolted as the scenery in her memory became familiar; she was approaching the mountain when her strength failed. She curled up in the snow and waited for my voice to come again. She was hoping she could sink back into the memories again, but they didn’t come. Tanya came instead. I watched through her eyes as Tanya found her and Bella’s desperate plea. _“I want to go home.”_

The thoughts ceased, and she dropped her hands from my face. I looked away from her, unable to meet her eyes. She had suffered all that because of me.

She pulled my face up to look at her. “What’s wrong?”

“I hurt you so much. You were so alone; all that time.”

“You’re seeing the wrong thing. I wasn’t alone, you were with me all the time. That is what I was showing you. Even when we were apart, you took care of me; you brought me home again. Don’t you see? I won’t leave you again, I can’t. The only reason I managed before was because I thought I was protecting you. I know better now.”

I fell silent seeing her memories again. Focusing on my voice now instead of her pain. She was right; I was there every step of the way. I didn’t understand how it happened, but it was my voice leading her. 

“You brought me home,” she said, finishing my thought for me.

“I’m not going to leave you either. I know I can’t prove it to you; I can only show you. But I swear I won’t leave you.”

She pressed a kiss to my lips, and I deepened it instinctively. Our touches had been fairly chaste since her return, a combination of lingering fear that I would hurt her and the lack of privacy. She tangled her hands in my hair, pulling me closer. I leaned back in the snow, pulling her down with me. All my careful rules from before were redundant; I couldn’t hurt her now.

She pulled away from me and curled into my side.

“What’s wrong?” I was worried I had misunderstood the signals. It had seemed like she was enjoying it.

“Nothing is wrong, I just think we need to slow down.” She saw my stricken expression and hurried to reassure me. “I love you, and I want to be with you, but we have things we need to deal with before we lose ourselves in each other.”

Her carefully chosen words had the same effect as a bucket of Ice. I shot to a sitting position. “You said you weren’t going to leave me!”

“I’m not, but this is exactly what I am talking about. You are still scared I am going to leave you again, and I am scared you’ll leave me. We need to deal with this stuff first, before we can create a life together.”

“I think we need to go away together,” I said. I had been mulling the idea over for a few days. No matter where we went at home, the family followed. It was understandable, but there was no time for us to be alone.

“I agree.”

I hadn’t expected this reaction. I thought she would be worried about leaving them all so soon. “You mean it?”

“Duh. They won’t be happy about it, but they’ll have to deal. Jasper will understand, Alice and Esme… not so much.”

I chuckled. “Yeah, you can be the one to tell them. I’ll wait at the airport, okay?”

“Airport? Where are you taking me, Mr. Cullen?”

“Well there is a little place I know, but it will involve a bit of sweet talking to get the owner to agree. Not to worry. I don’t think she can deny you anything.”

“Deny me? Who are we talking about here?”

I lay down in the snow again and pulled her to my side.

“Let me tell you about a place called Isle Esme…”


	2. It Worries Me

**Edward POV**

“No. I’m sorry, but no.” Esme crossed her arms over her chest and fixed us with a stern glare. “You can’t.”

I shrugged. “Not to worry, I’m sure there are plenty of other suitable places for us to stay. Maybe we should just backpack for a while.”

“Sounds perfect,” Bella said, resting her head on my arm.

“You misunderstand. I didn’t just mean no you can’t stay on the island; I meant you can’t leave at all. You are both going to stay here with your family where you belong.”

I looked to Carlisle, hoping to find understanding in his eyes, but instead found conflict. _Is this what you need?_

I nodded. This was not a simple flight of fancy to take off and see the world; we needed this time to heal together. 

He sighed in resignation. “I think it is a good idea. Bella and Edward deserve some time together. You will come back of course.”

“Of course we will,” Bella said brightly, not seeing the sadness in Carlisle’s eyes. He was torn between his desire to keep the family together after so long apart and wanting Bella and I to rebuild our bond.

“You’ll forgive me if I am not completely reassured by your words. The last time you left you hid in an attic for a year.” Esme turned her fierce glare on Bella. “And _you_ sat at the bottom of the ocean for two years rather than be with us. It doesn’t engender trust.”

Bella sighed sadly and fell silent. I was irrationally angry at her for allowing herself to be so affected by Esme’s words. Her new stronger personality had faded in the face of opposition. Or so I thought.

She was quiet for a moment then nodded decisively. “Emmett, Alice, Jasper, Rose,” she called to each of them in turn. “I know you are listening to every word, you may as well come join the conversation properly.”

Like scolded children they trailed in from the kitchen, where they had indeed been listening to every word.

Bella sat up straight, drawing all eyes to her. “We need to talk.”

I fought the urge to wrap my arms around her; not to comfort, but to stop her from leaving. She patted my hand comfortingly, as if knowing exactly what I was thinking.

“I don’t know about the rest of you, but to me, these last two weeks have been bliss compared to how I felt before. We have been together and happy–”

“And now you want to run away and leave us again.” Esme cut in.

Bella closed her eyes and took a deep breath before speaking again. “We have been together and happy, but we were also acting. We haven’t addressed the deeper issues, and I think we need to now.”

She stood and began pacing. In contrast to her animated movement the rest of us were statues. We waited in silence for her to continue.

“I ran. I woke up as a newborn vampire and ran away. I can’t imagine how worried you must have been, and I’m sorry for it, but you all know why I did it. Edward left too. He left me, and you, and went to hunt Victoria. When that failed he holed up alone in Rio, you all know his reasons for doing that too. We both thought we were protecting the other.”

She locked eyes with Esme and though she looked apologetic there was tightening around her jaw that showed her tension.

“You all left too. You didn’t leave for me though, you left for Edward. You left because it was what he wanted. I know there was conflict and discussion, but you still left. At least you have the comfort of knowing Edward and I came back because we chose to independently. You came back because Alice had the vision of me in hospital. God knows I’m glad you did, but had she not seen me you wouldn’t have come back.”

They were all shocked by Bella’s words, but there was no denying the truth. Had they not known Bella needed them they would not have returned. 

“I’m not upset about it,” she said, forestalling Esme’s words. “Comas give you a lot of time to think, and I understand why you made the choices you did. Now you need to show us the same understanding. We need time alone together, and we are not going to be made to feel guilty for taking it.”

“What if we promised to give you time alone here?” Rosalie asked hopefully.

She smiled sadly. “I don’t think you could. Don’t think I haven’t noticed the eyes watching my every move. I understand why you do it, and I didn’t mind when it was just me, but now it is affecting Edward too and that isn’t fair. We _need_ this.”

There was echoing silence as she finished. They were all processing her words and trying to find a way of disputing them, but it was pointless. Bella had left them no room for argument; she spoke the truth and they all knew it.

Emmett was grappling for a new approach, his eyes danced with glee as he came up with what he thought was ‘a dead cert idea’.

“You need time alone, I get that, but we should come too.” He caught her disbelieving look. “Let me finish. We should come too as you and Edward haven’t been out in the vampire world for a long time. What if you come across a nomad and need protecting?”

She smiled a little mischievously. “You may have a point, Emmett. It’s not like Edward or I are capable of protecting ourselves.”

“I knew you’d understand.” He beamed happily at her.

“I do,” she said, wide eyed and innocent. I could see trouble brewing, but Emmett was oblivious. He was thrilled that she was being so agreeable.

“After all it’s not like we can just do this…” She waved a hand carelessly and at the same moment used her shield to send him flying backwards.

His shocked expression as he disappeared behind the couch broke the tension and we all laughed.

“You can use the island,” Esme said, not entirely hiding the begrudging tone in her voice. It was the closest we were going to get to her blessing.

“Thanks, Mom.”

Like Emmett with his new moniker, nothing made Esme happier than being called mom, especially by Bella. She and Carlisle really felt like parents to her, she had depended on them so much more than any of their ‘children’ had. 

“I like the idea of backpacking though.”

I had only suggested it to prove that we were going away together whether Esme allowed us to use the island or not, but the more I thought of it the more the idea appealed. Bella hadn’t travelled much as a human, and I wanted to be able to show her some of the places I had been in my long life. 

“How about we backpack and finish off on Esme’s island?” I suggested.

“Finish off?” Esme’s eyes narrowed. “How long are you planning on be away for?”

Bella shrugged. “No idea, but how about we make a deal? If it looks to be a long time, we will arrange to meet up with you every now and then. Call it a Cullen family vacation plan.”

“That sounds fair,” Carlisle spoke before Esme could start bargaining. “You call us when you can, and we will arrange to meet somewhere.”

“Deal.” I was eager to get this discussion over quickly. The longer we were gathered, the more arguments against our trip the family seemed to create.

Resigned to our plans the family began suggesting locations for us to visit, conversation was animated with one exception. Jasper. He and Bella were apparently using their emotional connection to communicate. Whatever she was saying, he wasn’t happy about it. He had become skilled at hiding his thoughts, so I couldn’t hear what she was saying.

He nodded curtly and strode from the room, leaving the front door wide open. Bella sighed and sank back into the chair.

“What was that about?” Emmett asked.

“Nothing for you to worry about,” she said tiredly. “I’m going to take a shower.” She plodded from the room with slumped shoulders.

I was angry at Jasper for spoiling it for us. She had been doing so well, and now she was miserable again. I wondered if she would still want to go away with me now. He was apparently opposed to the idea, and she would hate to upset him further.

“Don’t do it, Edward” Alice said, fixing me with a stern glare.

I tried to look innocent. “Do what?”

“I know you are thinking about going after him. Let him get whatever it is out of his system, then you can talk.”

“I didn’t see that,” I argued.

“Because I didn’t look. I know my husband though, if you go out there now, I assure you it won’t end well.”

I knew she was right, but my anger still raged. It felt like my relationship with Bella was now extended to include him too. It wasn’t enough that I had to share her heart with him, now he was taking away my time with her too. He had his own mate. He should leave mine alone.

 _Son, I really don’t think this is wise. Listen to Alice, allow him time._ Carlisle cautioned.

I didn’t want caution. I wanted to use my anger to finally have the discussion with Jasper that had been brewing for the last two years. On the rare occasions that we would meet with him and Alice in our search, I would hear his thoughts. I knew he was feeling her absence almost as much as I was, and it was wrong.

“I’m going to see Eleazar.” I lied and walked from the house before anyone had a chance to argue.

I headed in the direction of the Denali house at first, changing path when I was out of sight and tracing Jasper’s scent. I found him in the clearing he and Emmett had been in when Bella returned.

He heard me coming and growled low in his throat. “Not now Edward.”

“I think now is the perfect time,” I said with equal ferocity. He was projecting his anger and it was feeding into my own. “What were you and Bella talking about?” I demanded.

“That is not your business.”

“It is when it affects _my_ mate. You have upset her, and I want to know why. You are always having your secret conversations and keeping me out. Now tell me what you said.” My last words came out as a growl.

“Fine,” he snapped. “You want to know what we were talking about? I was asking her why she was deserting me again. Why after staying away for two years, she was running off with you and leaving me behind. I know she doesn’t want to go, but she can’t deny you anything because she’s scared you’ll leave her again. You destroyed the last three years of her life and now you are taking her away again. I’m not going to let you.”

“Leaving you behind? Think about what you are saying, she is my mate, not yours. You don’t get a say in this.” My voice was uneven because of the low growl building in my chest.

“The hell I don’t. I was the one that took care of her; I believed in her when nobody else did. She will listen to me, you are not taking her away again.” He was losing control completely, his rage coming from him in waves.

It was all I had feared. He was going to stop her. He knew the influence he had over her and was going to use it to take her away from me. I wouldn’t allow it to happen; I couldn’t.

I felt the fury building in me as my vision took on the red haze that portended the fight. There was only one solution.

I charged at him.

**Bella POV**

I hated that I had upset Jasper but this is what had to happen. I owed Edward my first loyalty, and he needed time with me.

I finished my shower and came back to the lounge combing my drying hair. The family were still seated where I had left them, with one glaring exception. Their eyes followed me as I searched the room.

“Where is Edward?” I already knew the answer but a small optimistic part of me hoped they would tell me he was still here.

“He went to visit with the Denalis,” Esme said with forced calm.

“That stupid shit,” I hissed, running for the door.

They were easy to find, the same pull I always felt for Edward was dragging me towards him. I heard their growls and snarls with the sound of crashing thunder. I was too late.

I pushed myself faster, sending my shield out ahead of me. I felt them come under its range and I dragged them apart. I had never attempted to split it before, but like most things with my shield it was instinctive.

They were not lost in the rage enough to be oblivious to my arrival. When I got to them they were standing calmly, held twenty feet apart by my shield and looking as if I had merely interrupted a heated discussion.

“What the hell are you doing?” I demanded, my fists clenched at my sides.

“We were just wrestling, love,” Edward lied. I hoped he knew me well enough to know I wasn’t going to believe that.

“Jasper?” I asked, locking eyes with him.

“We were just wrestling,” Jasper said. “Sorry if we worried you. It was a friendly sparring match.”

I closed my eyes and counted to ten. I needed to get a grip on my own emotions before I dealt with theirs. I felt my shield drop from them as I calmed myself and held my breath for a moment, hoping my presence would be enough to stop them from attacking each other again.

“I was going to see Eleazar,” Edward said. “Do you want to come?”

“You go ahead, I’ll be there in a moment. I need to talk to Jasper first.”

Edwards face fell. I knew I needed to deal with his insecurities, but there was a more pressing issue to address first.

“Please, Edward, I won’t be long.”

“I really think Jasper needs some time to calm down first.”

“He looks perfectly calm to me. Besides you were just wrestling weren’t you? I will be perfectly safe.”

He looked uncomfortable, torn between his desire to keep me unaware of their fight and his need to keep me safe.

“Trust me, I will be fine.”

It was underhanded of me to play the trust card and we both knew it. I needed this time with Jasper though, we needed to have this discussion now while he was still able. If allowed to calm again, he would return to his happy, understanding act.

Edward nodded sadly and ran through the trees toward the Denalis’ house. I wrapped him in my shield, keeping it elastic so he would not feel it. When I felt his signature spark fade, I knew he was far enough away and I turned to Jasper.

“What did you do?” The calm I had held to when Edward was here dropped, and I allowed him to feel my own anger.

“I told him he couldn’t take you away again. You are only going because of him. I know you don’t really want to leave us and I said so. You don’t have to go now.”

My anger faded as I looked at him. He truly believed he was taking care of me. He didn’t see that I was able to do it for myself now.

“I want to go away though. Didn’t you hear anything I said at the house? We need this time together, and we are going to take it.”

His eyes hardened, and I knew his anger was building again. “How do you know he will stay though? What if he runs off again and leaves you? You will end up at the bottom of the ocean again, and we will never find you.”

“He won’t leave me, he can’t.”

“You sure about that? You weren’t so sanguine when we were begging you to accept the change. _‘I don’t want forever alone.’_ Isn’t that what you said? How do you know you can trust him now? Something could happen and he’ll run off again like the coward he is.”

His words were like darts against my skin, uncertainty washed over me. I had to fight the urge to run to Edward now, to hold him to me and beg him not to leave. 

“See, you don’t trust him either. You need to stay with me so I can take care of you.”

I almost lost my footing as the depression crept in again. All my certainty from before was gone. I felt like the girl trapped within her own body again; reliant on others for everything, even the ability to speak. Had Jasper not been there, I would have been lost forever. His ability to feel my emotions was all that had saved me.

The fear was crushing me. He was going to leave me. I was going to be left all alone.

In comparison to my gut wrenching pain, Jasper was calm. He looked almost satisfied as another wave of depression coursed through me. I wasn’t shielding myself, he should have been affected by my emotions… my _emotions._ Not mine, his.

I felt his artificial pain leave me as my fury eclipsed it. I locked myself in place, using the shield as I had in the midst of my change to stop them seeing my pain. Now I used it to stop from launching myself at him. I had never been so angry. Not even when I thought they had dragged Edward home against his will.

“You bastard,” I snarled. “How dare you do that to me. You think I haven’t suffered enough? You use your gift to hurt me.”

I wasn’t hurt now. I was enraged. I allowed my anger to fill me, creating a haze in my mind, then I sent it at Jasper with all the force I could muster. I saw the moment it hit him, his eyes changed from clear gold to pure onyx. A fierce growl ripped though his clenched teeth.

“Stop it, Bella,” he snarled.

“Like you did? It was okay for you to influence me, why shouldn’t return the favor?”

His expression was murderous, and it only served to increase my rage. I wanted to hurt him like he hurt me. I pulled my arm back and aimed a punch at his jaw.

I underestimated him. With a roar he shoved me away, sending me crashing into a forty foot spruce.

Well now I was pissed.


	3. If You Go Away

**Jasper POV**

_Shit, shit, shit, shit!_

I hadn’t meant to hurt her, it was an instinctual reaction. Her rage was so intense, there was nothing I could do to shield myself from it.

She had crashed through a tree twenty feet away and was still lying where she had landed, surrounded by torn branches and pulped wood.

I walked towards her slowly, my hands raised before me, expecting her to attack. She held a hand up to halt me, and in one fluid movement, she got to her feet and brushed down her clothes.

“I’m so sorry,” I rasped.

She looked at me with cool indifference. “I know.”

“I didn’t mean to, it was instinct.”

“I know.”

Barely conscious of what I was doing, I moved to her side again. I needed to comfort her, to touch her… to stop her leaving again. She wrapped her shield around me and pushed me away from her. I was pinned against a tree unable to move an inch.

“Please, Bella, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it.”

“You hurt me.” Her face was expressionless and her emotions blocked. I hated seeing her look at me like this. It would have been better if she had raged at me, attacked me. This indifference was almost physically painful.

“I’m sorry,” I said desperately. “I didn’t mean to do it, I lost control–”

“I’m not talking about what you did to me physically. I’m a vampire, you can’t me like that. I am talking about you using your gift to hurt me. You tried to make me believe he was going to leave me again. Do you really believe that?”

“No,” I admitted. “He won’t leave you. I’m sorry I said that, I was just angry that he was taking you away and I lashed out.” I knew better than anyone just how much it had hurt Edward to be without her. He could never leave her again. But she could leave us. I couldn’t bear it if she went away again. I knew what I had done was wrong, but I was desperate.

She nodded. “It was cruel.”

“I know, and I’m sorry. I was just so angry.”

“You’re not angry at Edward though. You are angry at me.”

“No,” I gasped. I wasn’t angry at her, I couldn’t be. “Why would I be angry at you? All you did was try to protect us, you thought you were doing the right thing and…”

“And I left you,” she said. “You had been with me every step of the way, feeling it with me, talking for me when I couldn’t do it myself, and I ran away.”

I shook my head. “No, you were confused. You didn’t know how Edward felt and that made you…”

“Made me leave,” she said. “I left you. I left you. I left you.” She said it again and again, every word feeling like a dart against my skin.

“Stop saying that!” I said fiercely. I didn’t want to hear it. I didn’t want to examine these memories and the accompanying pain. I wanted to cover my ears, but she held me frozen in place.

I had no defense against her words, no way to stop the images that rushed to my mind every time she said it. Her immobile form in the hospital bed. Her frail body jolting as they shocked her after yet another cardiac arrest. Blood pouring from her neck after Edward bit her. Her vaulting the balcony as she pinned us to the wall. The carving in the tree, professing her love, but telling us not to follow.

“You left me!” I cried. I fought against the force holding me in place. I wanted to run, to get away from her and this discussion. “You left me and I was scared.” I didn’t want to think of these things, but the assaulting memories forced me to accept the pain, and with it came anger. “After all we had been through, you left me. Two years, two goddamn years, Bella! Have you any idea what that felt like? Searching for you every day and knowing you didn’t want to be found! You left me.” The words poured from my mouth in a stream of hurt.

Everything I had been fighting since she came back, all the accusations I had wanted to fling at her, but couldn’t, were now torn from me.

I felt the force holding me in place vanish, and I stepped away from the tree. The urge to run was overshadowed by the need to make her understand. If she understood what she had done, she couldn’t leave me again.

I paced the clearing, my hands clenched into fists at my side. She didn’t move, she just watched as I circled her, a low growl building in my chest as I fought to control myself. “You know what I see whenever I close my eyes?” Not waiting for an answer I continued. “I see you running out the door. Every time you go out of my sight, I worry you won’t come back again. I can’t bear it if you go away again.” I was pleading as I finished, unable to hide my desperation anymore.

She settled on the ground, leaning back against the tree and resting her chin on her knees. “I’m sorry I left you,” she said softly. “I’m sorry for hurting you then, and now. I don’t even have words to tell you how grateful I am for all you have done for me. But I have to go, he needs this.”

I sat beside her, deliberately not meeting her eye. “What about me? What about what I need?”

I was asking too much of her and I knew it. That didn’t stop me asking though. My relationship with Bella was strange and confusing. There was nothing romantic about our connection, but the bond was so strong, it was nearly as strong as my bond with Alice.

She sighed. “I love you, Jasper. I will always love you, but Edward is my mate. Put yourself in my position, and think what you would do if I was asking you to deny Alice to stay with me.”

I couldn’t do it. I didn’t want to think about how it would feel to be torn between the two of them.

“You see?” she said with a sad smile. “Now you understand what I am up against.”

“I don’t want you to go.” There was no expectation in my words now. I knew what she had to do, but I had to make my feelings clear for my own peace of mind.

“I know you don’t,” she sighed. Her sadness was clear, and it swept away the last of my anger. The constant smile she had worn since her return was gone, cast aside like a mask. She was raw and vulnerable; this was the real Bella. I looked at her and saw what I had been missing for the last two weeks; she was in pain.

I was angry at myself for not seeing it sooner. I had been blinded by the happiness _I_ felt at having her back; I thought she was feeling the same. The only times I had been able to feel her emotions were the moments when she would communicate with me ,and as she had shown already, she could be selective in what she showed. When she had been raging at me about using my gift on her, it had been just that. Rage. No other emotion to balance it, that was why I had been so affected. I shifted closer to her, and she rested her head on my arm.

“How bad is it?” I asked.

“How bad is what?”

“The shit storm of emotion you are hiding?”

She was silent for so long I thought she was going to refuse to answer. When she did speak, it was in a whisper so quiet I barely heard it.

“Bad.”

The fact she admitted it at all was an indicator of just how much she was hurting.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t realize,” I said. “I thought you were happy, you said you were.” I couldn’t hide the slight accusatory note in my voice.

“It’s not your job to monitor my emotions anymore, Jasper. And it’s not always like this. I didn’t lie; I am happy, most of the time. It just gets a little too much sometimes.”

I wrapped an arm around her, pulling her close to my side. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“I am just overwhelmed; it’s just so much after so long alone and…”

“And?”

“I miss my Dad.” It came as a muffled sob.

Not able to bear seeing her in pain without comforting her, I pulled her onto my lap. She curled into me, shaking with silent sobs. I stroked her hair and whispered soothing words. I tried to help her with my gift, but her shield was blocking me.

“Let me help you,” I implored, already knowing she wouldn’t. If she dropped the shield Alice would see, and if Alice saw, sooner or later Edward would. “He needs to know you’re hurting.”

Her sobs trailed off as she regained control. “He will, I am not hiding this from him. I just don’t want everyone else worrying too. I really am okay most of the time.”

“But I upset you?” I said. My guilt twisting like a knife.

She groaned. “See this is why I don’t want the others to know. I am not a china doll that needs to be protected. Yes, you upset me, but that is not why I am feeling like this. My parents are dead, I loved them and now they are gone. What I am feeling is normal; I am supposed to grieve.”

“If you stay, we could all help you,” I suggested.

“I can’t. I need space to feel. They are all watching, all the time; I feel like I’m being suffocated. I need time and so does Edward. We need to rebuild our bond and we can’t do that here.”

A selfish part of me wanted to keep her with me. I wanted to be the one to comfort her while she was hurting, but it was not my place. Edward needed to be the one to get her through this, for both of their sakes.

I rested my chin on her head. “How are we going to do this?”

“We’ll be fine, you will have Alice, and I will have Edward. That will be enough.”

It had always been enough before. As much as I loved the family, I knew I would be equally as happy if she and I were alone again. Now I couldn’t imagine being without Bella too.

We sat in silence for a while, each lost in our own thoughts. I knew we only had a short time before we would have to separate, her to Edward, and I to the interrogation of the family. They would know something happened between Edward and I. Even if Alice hadn’t alerted them, Bella’s hasty exit would have. I was surprised that they hadn’t come out to find us already.

As if my thought had summoned them, I heard footsteps approaching. Bella heard them too and lifted her head to look at me.

“Time’s up,” she said with a wry smile.


	4. All The Way Home

**Edward POV**

“I love you, but if you don’t let me go now we are going to miss our flight,” Bella said. Her voice was muffled as she was speaking into Emmett’s chest.

“I’m okay with that,” he said happily. “Then you’d have to wait for the next flight, and I would have more time to explain why the world sucks and you should stay home.”

“I’ll bring you back a nice souvenir,” she coaxed. “Something gaudy.”

“How gaudy?”

“Something so horrible, Rose will refuse to allow it into the house,” she said, gently extricating herself from his grip. “We’ll be back before you know it.” She stood on tiptoes to kiss his cheek, hugged Rosalie one last time, and picked up her bag.

Emmett had offered to drive us to the airport and was making the most of this last chance to change our mind. We had said our goodbyes to the rest of the family at the house, with the exception of Esme - who had been a little emotional - they had been understanding and wished us well.

Now as we walked to our gate, I finally allowed myself to relax. We were really going.

We were going to fly to Seattle and then hire a car to take us to Forks. The Volvo was still in the garage there, but I was hoping I could persuade Bella to buy a SUV for the trip. She was planning to take my idea to backpack literally; I thought one cross country train ride in a compartment with sweaty humans would curb that desire.

Carlisle had been understandably cautious about Bella’s control around humans. I had seen her memories of her journey back to us, and thought if two years of starvation hadn’t caused her to slip, it was doubtful an airplane of people would. She had humored him though, and went into town with Emmett and Jasper ready to restrain her in case she showed signs of losing control. She had chatted with shopkeepers while replenishing her paltry wardrobe and book collection, not a trace of bloodlust in her.

“Are you okay, love?” I asked as the plane taxied down the runway.

She was staring out of the window with a pensive expression. “I’m fine,” she said distractedly.

“Looking forward to going home?” I asked. 

“I’m not going home.”

I puzzled over that for a moment, trying to make sense of her words. “I don’t understand.”

She smiled. “I’m not going home. Too much bad stuff happened in Forks for me to ever be able to call it home now. Wherever you and the family are, that’s my home now.”

“I thought you wanted to go back. Why didn’t you say something? We don’t have to go there. We can get a connection from Seattle and go somewhere else.”

She smiled sadly. “I don’t want to go back, but I need to. I have to make my peace with the place, and the memories, before I can move on.”

“But it’s going to hurt you.”

She patted my arm. “Yes, but I will be better for it.”

I had vowed when she came back to me that I would never let her be hurt again. I wanted to protect her from this pain, but at the same time I knew she was right; she needed to do this. At least this time I would be there to help her through.

“Have I mentioned how much I love you today?”

“Only a few times,” she teased. “I can always stand to hear it again though.”

“I love you Isabella Swan, I love you with all my heart.” I pulled her into my side, pressed a kiss to her temple, and spent the rest of the flight declaring my love to her in every language I knew.

xXx

We arrived in Forks just as dusk was falling.

I had called Sam when we landed at Seattle and arranged to meet some of the pack at the old baseball clearing.

I did not have the same relationship with them as the rest of the family, having not been there for the weeks of training and the fight against Victoria’s newborns. They had helped us search in the days immediately after Bella left us, but I had barely noticed them, I was too caught in my own fear and guilt.

There was a certain degree of anxiety attached to this meeting, at least there was for me. Bella seemed excited about seeing them again.

“They’re almost here,” I said when their thoughts registered in my mind.

Her smile widened when the sound of their footsteps reached us. “They’re coming as human?”

“That would be a loose definition of the term,” I said.

She punched my arm. “You know what I mean. They aren’t phased.”

“Apparently they trust us.”

“Of course we do,” a rough male voice called. “Well, Bella at least.”

“Jared!” Bella squealed, running towards him.

When she reached him, he pulled her into his arms and spun her round.

“Well look at you, gotta say the eyes are an improvement,” he said, giving her an appraising look. “How have you been? I heard you took up deep sea diving.”

“Emmett?” she guessed.

“Yep. Imagine our surprise when we get a phone call out of the blue from a delirious vampire telling us he had amazing news. We thought it was another army of newborns to fight, gotta say it was a bit of a disappointment to hear it was just you. We haven’t had any action since you guys left, patrols are more like nature walks now.”

She laughed. “Yeah, yeah, I know you missed me really.”

“We did,” a new voice said. Two more figures stepped out of the trees. I recognized the speaker as Sam Uley the alpha, but the other was unfamiliar. “Hello, Bella.”

“Hi, Sam, Paul. It’s good to see you. How are you?”

“We are well, Emily sends her love. She wanted to come too, but we weren’t sure about…”

“You weren’t sure if I would go nom-nom on your fiancé?” she teased.

“Wife now,” he said. “We were married last year. I admit, I was a little cautious. How have you been?”

“You mean, how many have I killed?”

He nodded. “I understand you had a difficult time.”

“I did, and I killed loads.” Their eyes widened at her announcement and she continued. “Quite a few moose, a couple of bears, and one unfortunate mountain lion that crossed my path. No humans though.”

Jared laughed. “I told you she wouldn’t. She’s Bella.”

“I am. I got lucky though, I don’t have the same attraction to human blood as the others.”

“So, you are able to be around humans?” Sam asked. I wondered at the questioning, but saw the answer in his mind.

“No,” I hissed vehemently.

“What’s going on?” she asked.

“Billy Black wants to speak with you,” I explained.

“Oh!” Her voice was little more that a whisper.

“Not just Billy, Emily would like to see you too. It is entirely your choice, but I promised I would extend an invitation.”

“You don’t have to do this, Bella,” I said. “You don’t owe him anything.”

“I know. I think I should though,” she said thoughtfully.

“And Emily?” Sam asked.

“I definitely want to see her. We are going back to the house later, do you want to come there, or shall we meet you somewhere neutral?”

“The house will be fine, Emily will be more comfortable there. She has a surprise for you, but has sworn me to secrecy,” Sam said.

I saw the secret in his thoughts and my eyes widened. If there was ever something that would prove the changed relationship between my family and the wolves, this was it. Sam and Emily had a child.

 _You saw it?_ Sam questioned, and I nodded.

 _Will she be able to handle it?_ I nodded curtly, though I was not entirely certain. Her bloodlust was not an issue, nor her strength; it was seeing the child that concerned me.

xXx

I stood at the gate and watched her walking forwards with obvious trepidation. She had asked me to give her a moment with him alone, and now I was regretting my ready agreement. I wanted to be with her for this.

She finally reached him and knelt before the granite marker, tracing the lettering with a finger.

“Hi, Daddy,” she choked.

Her voice became a whisper, but of course I could hear anyway. She was telling him everything that had happened while he was gone. Every moment of happiness and pain she had lived through was told in heartbreaking detail. When she told him of my return, her voice broke.

“He came back, Dad. He came back to me. I know I hurt you, I wish I could take back those last few months with you. I would have made sure you knew how much I loved you. I’m sorry I lied, I was trying to protect you from that world. I love you so much, and I am so sorry…”

Her words failed as her grief overtook her. Unable to bear it any longer, I hurried to her side and pulled her into my arms. Her body shook with the force of her sobs, and I cried with her. Clinging to each other in the darkness, we cried. Her pain was my pain.

“He knew, Bella,” I said, when her sobs trailed off. “He knew how much you loved him, and he loved you too.”

“I didn’t have enough time, I should have visited more. We only had a year together.”

“You only had a year, but I know that was the best year of his life. He had you here with him and it made him so happy.”

“I can’t be here anymore,” she whispered into my chest.

“Then we can go.” I rose to my feet and held out a hand to her.

She knelt and pressed a kiss to his name, then took my hand and together we walked away from her father’s grave.

xXx

She stood outside the door to the library, her head leaning against the wall. It was the exact position I had been in as I tried to find the strength to cross the threshold and see the consequences of my choices. Alice had been the one to give me the strength that day, and now I was doing the same for Bella.

“Come on, love. I’m here, it won’t be as bad as you think.”

I knew she needed to do this. She had to see the place she had spent her last weeks as a human, but I wished I could shield her from it. She took a deep breath and allowed me to lead her inside. 

She gasped. “It’s the same. I didn’t think it would still be here.”

None of us had thought to change the room back to its previous state after she fled; all of our attention was directed towards the search. In the rare moments we were at the house, we avoided the room. It was hers, and the memories it evoked were something none of us wanted to face.

Everything was covered in a fine layer of dust, other than that it was exactly as she had left it. The machinery that had been vital in saving her was pushed against the wall, the sheets on the bed were still crumpled, and the book Jasper had been reading to her when she made her last declaration was on the chair where it had been thrown.

She sat down on the bed and looked around the room. “It’s strange you know. I remember all the smells, but the sounds are gone. It was so loud all the time; I hated the noise.”

She switched on the stereo and a CD of Chopin’s nocturnes began to play. “This was Esme’s. They all had different music. I knew who was with me by the music when I would wake.”

I hadn’t asked her about the months I missed. I had seen the memories from the family, but I didn’t know how it felt for her. Now I risked the question.

“It hurt sometimes. I hated the breathing tube, it would scratch my throat. The ECMO didn’t feel like anything, it was just there. I liked it when they would hold my hand, it made me feel connected to them, it was comforting.”

I sat beside her and took her hand in mine. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there.”

“So am I, but you’re here now and that’s what matters.”

There was a strange tension in the silence that followed her words. It felt like the things that had passed within this room were a physical presence weighing us down.

“Do you think a hospital would take these,” she said, gesturing to the bank of machines. “They are just sitting here going to waste. They could save someone else.”

“They could. I will call Carlisle and see if he can make the arrangements. Speaking of things that are going to waste, there is a neglected piano downstairs…”

She beamed at me. “My lullaby?”

“As you wish.”

She ran from the room, and a moment later I could hear the gentle sound of fabric against polished wood as she dusted it off.

Rising slowly to my feet, I gave the room one last sweeping look and pulled the door closed behind me. Happy that those memories, at least, had been laid to rest. 

xXx

We spent the rest of the night at my piano. I played to her while she rested her head against my shoulder. Sometimes she would lift her shield allowing me to hear her thoughts when a particular song triggered an especially poignant memory for her.

I would have been happy to stay like that for the rest of the day, but reality intervened in the form of a phone call from Sam telling us they would be with us by late morning.

Bella had gone on a cleaning spree in preparation, and I had been ordered into town to buy supplies. We – or rather the wolves – had told people she was going to Switzerland for experimental treatment, rather than staging her death. I’d wanted her to have the option of returning at some point, though there were only a few more years before people would start noticing our lack of aging.

Though she was comfortable allowing people to know she was alive, she didn’t want to see people. I was instructed to say as little as possible if questioned, something I was fairly competent at. Before Bella entered my life, I had been so quiet I once heard two girls discussing the possibility of me being a deaf mute. 

When I got back to the house, Bella was finishing up the cleaning and humming to herself. I stood in the doorway watching her for a moment, just enjoying the scene.

“Having fun,” she said, not turning her attention from the window she was cleaning.

“I am. You are the very image of domestic bliss.”

She laughed and threw the cloth at my head. “You finish this off for me, and I will get to work in the kitchen.”

“I don’t think they are coming to inspect the house, love.”

“I know that, but I want to make a good showing anyway. You clean the windows and I will make cookies.”

She took the bag of groceries from me, and I moved to follow, but she stopped me with a stern look. “Windows, Mr. Cullen.”

Sighing heavily, I got to work. Though I couldn’t see what she was doing behind the closed door, she seemed to be having fun; there was a great deal noise anyway. 

When I finally finished my task, I went to the kitchen and was momentarily stunned by the sight before me. There were baking trays covering every surface, some with baked cookies fresh from the oven, and others awaiting their turn to bake.

“Bella, you do know there are only three people coming don’t you?” I asked.

She looked around at the chaos with a rueful smile. “I may have got a little carried away. I never realized how useful vampire speed could be in the kitchen. Besides, Sam is coming, you’d be amazed how much food the wolves go through.”

“Let’s hope he’s hungry then.”

“If you are going to make fun of me, you can go find something else to do. I am enjoying my moment of domestic bliss.”

“Then I will stay silent and enjoy it with you,” I said, seating myself at the counter.

She had just taken the last batch of cookie from the oven when I heard the sound of a car pulling onto the drive.

“They’re here,” she said with a slightly panicked expression. “I haven’t even made the coffee yet.”

“Relax, love,” I soothed, wrapping my arms around her waist. “I will go greet them, while you make the coffee.”

This was more for my benefit than for hers. I wanted a moment with Billy before they came in. I was anxious about what he might say to her. As far as I knew, she hadn’t mentioned Jacob once since she had been told of his death, and I was unsure what her reaction to him would be. 

They were just getting out of the car when I opened the front door. Sam was helping Billy into his wheelchair, and Emily was unlatching the car seat holding her sleeping son.

“Where’s Bella?” Billy asked when he caught sight of me.

“She’s inside, I wanted to speak to with you first.”

“What do you want to know?”

“It’s what I want you to know actually. Bella is different, and I’m not just talking about her change. I have no idea how she will react to seeing you again, and I want you to be careful of what you say to her. I understand you lost your son, but she has lost a lot too.”

“I understand, that is why I am here,” he said solemnly.

I nodded and helped Sam to lift him up the steps. I led them into the house and gestured Emily into the kitchen. I thought she and Bella would want privacy for their reunion, and I wanted to give Bella a little time before being faced with Billy.

I heard Emily’s breath catch as she saw Bella, her thoughts revealing her shock. The last time she had seen her was when Bella was still desperately ill.

“Hello, Bella,” she said quietly.

I heard the sound of them embracing and Bella’s whispered words of gratitude. I understood Emily had been pivotal in saving Bella after the encounter with Victoria.

“I hear you have a surprise for me?” Bella said.

“I do, I want you to meet someone.” They came out into the lounge together. Bella gave Billy a passing glance before seeing the bundle in Sam’s arms.

“Oh, Emily,” she gasped. “When?”

“Three months now. Would you like to hold him?”

“Really?” Bella’s smile was dazzling.

“As long as you can control that super strength of yours,” Sam teased.

“I promise,” she said, nodding eagerly.

With exceptional care, Sam placed the baby into Bella’s waiting arms. Her expression was elated.

“Beautiful baby,” she cooed. “What did you call him?”

Sam cleared his throat awkwardly. “Jacob.”

I expected Bella to react with shock, but as always she surprised me. Looking down at the tiny figure in her arms, she smiled beautifully.

“Hello, Jacob.”


	5. The Stars Will Remember

**Bella POV**

I stared out the rolling waves and wondered for perhaps the hundredth time how things could have gone so wrong.

Sam had let me to come into La Push, the first vampire to have been given permission since the original treaty was signed. Edward had wanted to come with me, and they would have allowed him, but I knew this was something I needed to do alone. He was waiting for me at the house and once I was finished here we could leave and never come back.

When Billy had arrived at the house I hadn’t known what I was going to say to him. I hadn’t needed to decide though; he had taken the burden from me and replaced it with another. Looking into his prematurely aged face I had listened as he made his plea. “My son is lost, Bella. He is trapped and I need you to free him.”

He had told me how he would dream of Jacob every night, and how he was trapped between worlds because of what he had done. According to him, Jacob needed my forgiveness for what had happened before he could be free. I didn’t share Billy’s beliefs and superstitions, but I respected him enough to at least try.

I had gone to Jacob’s grave first, but it didn’t feel right. I had no connection to that patch of grass and stone marker, so I had come to our tree on the beach instead. I closed my eyes and tried to articulate my thoughts, it was easier then, with the familiar sounds in my mind I could pretend here was beside me. Keeping my eyes closed I began to speak.

“I loved you Jacob. I’m sorry it wasn’t in the way you wanted, but I still loved you. What happened was an accident, you never meant to hurt me or Charlie, I know that now.”

I paused and took a deep, steeling myself to say what I knew I must. “I forgive you. I don’t know if Billy is right, that you are lost, but if you are you can go now. If there really is a somewhere else for you please find my parents there, tell them I love them so much and that I’m okay now. I’m happy.”

I took a deep breath and opened my eyes. Nothing had changed, the moon was still glinting off of the ocean, the waves were still crashing on the shore, and yet I couldn’t bear to be there anymore. I got to my feet and hurried back towards the car.

Jared was standing at the head of the path, Billy sitting in his wheelchair beside him.

“Thank you, Bella.” he said sincerely. “I know you don’t share my beliefs, but I am very grateful to you for trying.

I leant down and pressed a kiss to his weathered cheek. “Sweet dreams, Billy.” 

As I drove along the familiar road back to Forks I felt a weight lift from my shoulders. I had carried it for so long I wasn’t even aware of it until it was gone.

Somehow in the process of trying to free Jacob, I begun had freed myself.

When I got back to the house Edward was at the piano playing. I was not foolish enough to think he had spent all time I had been away in such a relaxing pursuit, but I appreciated the pretense.

He didn’t cease his playing as I joined him, but the complex melody of Esme’s favorite transitioned smoothly into my lullaby. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and kissed his cheek.

“Thank you.” I whispered.

“What for?”

“For trusting me.”

His hands still on the keys and he twisted to face me. He cupped my cheeks and gave me a long searching look.

“What happened?” he asked finally.

“Nothing bad,” I reassured him. “Come outside with me.”

I led him out the lawn in front of the house and pulled him down onto the grass with me. I stretched out on my back, and he propped himself up on his elbow looking down at me. 

I lifted my shield and showed him my memories of my evening. When I came to the drive home I concentrated showing him the relief I had felt.

“Do you think Billy was right?” he asked. “Was Jacob trapped?”

“I don’t know about Jacob, but know we were.”

He gave me a questioning look and I smiled, patting his cheek.

“Billy lost his son and his best friend because of the power that he had desperately wanted. He was proud that Jacob was a protector and he didn’t see the sacrifices all of the wolves had to make. Now he knows better. I think Billy will sleep peacefully tonight, whether because what I did actually made a difference, or just because he believes it does, I don’t know. But I don’t think it matters either, he’s not trapped by the guilt anymore.”

“And what about you? How were you trapped?”

“I was trapped by guilt too, but my guilt was for my parents’ death.”

“What do have to feel guilty about?” he asked. “You couldn’t possibly have protected them; you barely survived as it is.”

“But I did survive.” I explained. “I lived and they died. I didn’t realize how much that was holding me back.”

“And now?”

“Now I think I’m letting it go too. I loved them and I will never forget them, but I’m not holding all the guilt in anymore, I can grieve for them properly and say goodbye.”

I looked over at the garden Esme had created for Renee’s ashes. It was beautiful, and Renee would have loved it, but it wasn’t where she belonged. I needed to let her go too, and I knew the perfect place.

“I love you, Bella Swan,” he said fervently.

“And I love you.” I pulled his face down to mine and kissed him. “So very much.”

He smiled down and me then settled back in the grass and looked up at the stars.

This became a tradition with us we travelled, spending each night stargazing, but no night had more meaning to me that that last night in Forks.

**xXx**

**GREETINGS FROM ARIZONA**

**_Dear Family. We went to the Grand Canyon today. It was difficult but I think it has helped. Best wishes, Edward_ **

There was something so overwhelming about seeing something so huge that made me feel every insignificant. I clutched the urn containing all that remained of my mother, as if fearful it would drop.

“Are you ready?” Edward asked softly.

“Yes.”

I knew I couldn’t have chosen a better place for her to go, here she could be free, but that did not make it any easier to do. With reluctant fingers I opened the urn and tilted it over the precipice allowing the wind to catch and sweep her away.

“I love you, mom,” I whispered watching the faintly glimmering ashes disappear into the darkness.

I rubbed at my eyes, a futile human gesture; I had no tears to shed anymore.

Edward’s arm around my waist was all that was holding my upright. The heartbreaking grief that consumed me made me want to fall to my knees and scream out my pain.

He couldn’t know how I felt, I had shielded my thoughts, but he swept me into his arms and carried me away into the vast expanse of desert. When we were far enough away that no humans could see or hear us he sat down on the ground and held me on his lap.

“You can let it go now.”

Needing no more instruction than that, I lifted my face to the sky and screamed. It was a cry of pain and anger and grief. He didn’t try to stop me, he just rocked me gently in his arms and whispered words of comfort to me. My body shook with the force of my sobs and I thought I would never stop.

Eventually my sobs became whimpers then the whimpers became silence. Just as I had when leaving La Push I felt the physical sensation of the weight lifting from me.

“Are you okay, love?” Edward asked.

I nuzzled into his neck. “Yes. I really think I am.”

I truly felt okay. I had made my peace with the people I had lost, and I was finally ready to start living my life again. 

“I’m glad,” he sighed into my hair. 

**xXx**

**GREETINGS FROM NEVADA.**

**_Hello All. We saw the Hoover Dam today, it was big. I wanted to try diving from the top, but Edward wouldn’t let me. He’s becoming a bore in his old age. Miss and love you. B – x –_ **

“Are you still sulking?” he asked.

“I’m not sulking,” I lied. “I’m just disappointed.”

“You know why I said no, there were too many humans.” There was definitely a hint of amusement in his tone.

“And you know why that didn’t matter, they wouldn’t have seen me. I could have done it very fast, like vampire fast.”

“Even so, it would have been a little too much to expect them to not notice you launching yourself off the edge.”

“We could have gone back at night.”

“It’s not like they keep office hours, love, there would still have been humans working there.”

I huffed irritably. “I let you do the things you want. You wanted this silly car, I would have been just as happy backpacking properly, but I let you buy it.” I kicked at the footrest.

“There is a slight difference between buying a car and diving off the Hoover Dam. And stop abusing my car, it’s delicate.”

He stroked the dashboard lovingly. I never thought there would be a car he could love as much as the Aston, but he was ridiculously attached this damned SUV. When we had gone to the showroom to choose a car he had been embarrassing in his excitement. With an expression usually seen on Alice at the arrival of the new season’s fashion, he had moved from car to car, checking tires and examining engines.

Though I was not as ignorant of cars as I once was, my time in Jacob’s garage had taught me a few things, I still didn’t understand what had him so excited. To me it was just another car, a pretty black one, but a car nonetheless. But he had raved about the powerful engine and craftsmanship of the interior. In the end I was forced to kiss him in full view of half a dozen inappropriately observant salesmen, just to shut him up.

“You love this car more than me.” I whined.

“You know that’s not true, though I admit it is a close second.”

I pulled my phone out of my pocket.

“Who are you calling?” he asked curiously.

“Carlisle. He’ll understand.”

He snickered. “Daddy’s girl.”

“Momma’s boy.”

He grinned. “You’re not really mad are you?”

I ignored him, waiting for Carlisle to pick up the phone.

“Bella, how are you?” his wonderfully familiar voice answered. “Are you enjoying yourself? We miss you both.” I could hear the sounds of the family in the background. 

“I _was_ enjoying myself, but Edward is being mean. All I wanted to do was go for a little swim, but he wouldn’t let me.”

“Oh dear, tell me all about it,” he said soothingly.

“Well we went to the Hoover Dam…”

xXx

**GREETINGS FROM YOSEMITE**

**_Dear Family. We are camping in Yosemite National Park for a few days. Bella wants to find a mountain lion. Best Wishes, Edward_ **

“Just a little longer and then you can look.”

I was clinging to Edward back as he ran. When I had been human these runs had been a terrifying experience that usually left me nauseas and dizzy. Now it was thrilling, but a little frustrating being limited to his speed. Though we hadn’t officially tested it yet, I was fairly certain I was faster. 

“What’s that noise?” I asked. I could hear the roaring of water pounding against rock.

“Patience, love.” I could hear the smile in his voice.

The roaring got louder and louder until he eventually halted and settled me on my feet again.

“Now you can look.”

I opened my eyes and my mouth gaped. We were standing at the edge of a waterfall; the drop had to be at least fifteen-hundred feet.

“Sixteen-hundred and twelve feet.” Edward said happily. “It’s actually taller that than Hoover Dam, and best of all, there are no humans to see.”

“Ha-ha, funny man.” I moved a little closer to the edge and looked down. This was going to be so much fun. 

“I like to think so.” He wrapped his arms around my waist and rested his chin on my shoulder. “So am I forgiven?”

“Definitely, this is perfect. How did you know about it?”

“We came here years ago, Emmett was still a newborn. When I realized you were serious about the Hoover Dam I thought of this place. As much as I want to make you happy, we couldn’t risk exposure.”

“Spoil sport,” I teased, then noted his dark expression.

“What’s wrong?” I unlocked his hands from my waist and turned to face him, cupping his cheeks in my hands. “I was kidding.”

“I can’t lose you. I know you were joking, but I can’t risk you like that. If you were seen…” he shuddered.

I thought back to the conversation we had while watching Romeo and Juliet. He told me if he had lost me after James’ attack he would have sought death. At the time I had been horrified, angry even, now I understood. I knew that if I lost him I would feel the same way.

I instinctually pulled him closer to me. Burying my face in the crook of his neck, I inhaled deeply, comforting myself with his scent.

“I can’t lose you either.” I whispered.

“I’m okay, I’m not going anywhere, we just have to be careful. No diving off dams in front of humans.”

I giggled. “Okay, no diving of dams. How about waterfalls?”

He smiled. “That is definitely okay.”

I released him and pulled off my sneakers. “Are you jumping with me?”

“I think I’ll just watch… What are you doing?”

I had pulled my shirt over my head and was unbuckling my jeans. He was staring at me, his mouth hanging open and his eyes unfocused. 

I laughed. “Close your mouth before you catch a fly. Oops too late.”

He spat the unfortunate bug onto the ground, looking disgusted. “What if someone sees?”

“You just said there weren’t any humans here, and it’s not like a peek at me in my underwear is going to cross your eyes; you’ve seen it all before.”

He frowned. “When?”

“When I was…”

I realized I was wrong; he hadn’t been there for the cardiac arrests. It was a disturbing thought that my brothers and father had seen more of my bare flesh than he had. He seemed to be coming to the same realization.

“Oh, well now’s your chance.” I said trying to sound unconcerned, but not quite managing it. Deciding distraction was the key I pulled my jeans down and unhooked my bra. “What do you think, should I keep the panties?”

He nodded stupidly, his eyes fixed on my chest.

“Okay, then. Be right back.” I stepped back a few yards then ran forward and launched myself off of the cliff.

It was like flying. I could see the foam of the falls in perfect detail even as I shot past at an incredible speed. I straightened into a dive just before I hit the water and sank to the bottom. Propelling myself back to the surface I looked up just in time to see him dive down beside me.

Ooh boxers.

He kicked up and trod water beside me, smiling widely. 

“I thought you were going to watch.”

“I was but once you’d gone I found the view far less appealing.”

I swam to the shallows and stretched out onto the rocks. “So if you were admiring the view so much why did you want me to keep the panties?” I asked.

“Bella, I am having enough trouble keeping my hands off of you when you are fully dressed. This is already a unique torture, if you were completely naked I’m afraid I would lose myself.”

I giggled. “And that would be a bad thing?”

“You said we had to slow down, that we couldn’t lose ourselves in each other.”

“Oh.” My eyes widened as I understood his predicament. He was trying desperately to honor my wishes but at the same time he was an eternal teen with a new unbreakable girlfriend. I could relate, I was having a fair

“When I said that we were still both terrified the other was going to disappear again. Do you still worry about that?”

He considered for a long moment. “I try not to, but sometimes yes.”

I fought to keep my face expressionless. I didn’t want to show him how much that hurt. I thought we had got past this; I no longer worried that he was going to leave me. That was the point of our trip; we were supposed to be bonding again. Why was it working for me and not him?

“I think we should head back to the car now.” I said tonelessly.

“Do you want to dive again?”

“No, I think I’ve had enough now.”

xXx

**GREETINGS FROM TEXAS**

**_Hello All. We are in Jasper-land. Lots of cute accents and ridiculous hats. Miss you and love you. Bella – x –_ **

“Please.”

“No.” He didn’t take his eyes from the road, I was sure he was worried if he looked at me he would lose the ability to resist.

“It’ll be so much fun.”

“I really doubt it.” He said dryly.

“I’ll do anything you want,” I pleaded “You want to take me to another boring museum, I’ll come. I just want this one little thing.”

“You said you liked the museum.”

“I lied.”

It had been horrendous. Edward had suggested we visit the _Museum of Health and Science._ It would have been a fairly boring trip for anyone other than him or Carlisle under ordinary circumstances, but we were extra unlucky in that the day we chose was the annual Boy Scout Meet Up. Boring lectures on the development of medicine over the ages, combined with bored children. I was in hell.

He’d loved it; he rambled on about the magic of medicine and all the developments he had seen. I didn’t want to see anymore medicine than was absolutely necessary; and since I was a vampire now that wasn’t a lot. When he wasn’t raving about medicine he was talking about the innocence of the children’s thoughts, and their eagerness to learn; to me it seemed like they were more eager to find the gift shop.

“I’m sorry, Bella, there aren’t many things I wouldn’t do for you, but wearing a Stetson and line-dancing is one of them.”

“Fine, I’ll go on my own. You can stay at the hotel and I will go have fun.”

I knew my frustration was made worse by the fact I knew he was still scared I would leave him again. I didn’t understand why he still doubted me. I thought the moment we had shared at the waterfall would be proof enough. I tried to tell myself his anxiety was natural, I had left him, but I wasn’t entirely able to convince myself. I was sure there was more to it than he was saying, but he wasn’t sharing. Until he decided to I was going to enjoy myself and now I wanted to dance. 

“We don’t have to the hotel at all, we can get a flight south tonight,” he said.

“I don’t want to get a flight, I want to dance.”

He sighed heavily and we spent the rest of the drive in silence. When we arrived at the hotel I stomped in ahead of him and flopped face down on the bed.

I felt the bed dip as he sat beside me. “Are you really mad?”

“Yes,” I huffed, my voice muffled by the quilt.

He kissed the shell of my ear. “Wouldn’t you rather do these things with a _real_ Texan?”

I twisted to look at him. “Really?”

“Really. We both know this isn’t something I can really enjoy with you, but Jasper can. I think he would like to show you his hometown.”

I jumped from the bed and grabbed my phone. I was so excited I misdialed the first time I tried.

“Who are you calling?” he asked, his brow furrowed in confusion.

“Jasper of course, you think they’ll all want to come or just him and Alice?”

“You’re calling him _now_?”

I noted his closed expression and finally understood why he was holding back, why he didn’t trust me to stay. 

It was Jasper.


	6. There Will Never Be Another You

**Edward POV**

I saw it in her eyes the moment she realized my fear. I had slipped and revealed too much, but I hadn’t been able to stop myself. Ever since the day at the waterfall, she had been pulling away from me, and I knew it was only a matter of time before she was going to go to him.

“That’s why you don’t trust me,” she said. “Because of Jasper.”

I hid my face in my hands, unable to bear seeing her disappointment at my words. “I do trust you, but I don’t trust him not to take you away,” I whispered.

The bed creaked as she shifted position, then her arms wrapped around my shoulders.

“Please look at me,” she said softly.

If she had demanded, I could have refused, but her soft sad tone made it impossible to resist. I looked up at her and saw the same sadness in her eyes that I was feeling.

“He can’t take me away,” she assured me. “He wouldn’t even try.”

“He told me—”

“I know what he told you. But he was wrong.”

“How do you know?” I asked.

“After you went to see Eleazar, Jasper and I sat down and talked about some stuff. He was having trouble accepting that things have changed, but now he understands.”

“How have things changed, though?” I asked.

She sighed heavily, and shifted so she was leaning against the headboard, her knees pulled up to her chest. “Jasper was angry at me, but he took it out on you. In a very real way, I hurt him as much as I did you when I ran away.”

“He loves you.” Though I tried, I couldn’t completely hide the accusation in my tone.

“He does, and I love him. But there is nothing romantic about it. You know that, right?”

I nodded. “I know. I have seen it in his thoughts, but it’s so strong. I don’t understand it.”

“I don’t understand it either, not really. It’s not like my relationship with Carlisle, or Emmett, or any of them. It’s like he is part of me. I know I love him, but I love you more.”

“I see that, but I don’t know where that leaves me. If he is a part of you, what am I?”

“You _are_ me. I can’t exist without you. There is nothing for me in the world without you.”

She was silent for a long time, her expression forlorn. I wished she would lift her shield. I wanted to know what she was thinking. Whatever it was, it seemed to be hurting her.

“We won’t go back,” she said quietly.

“We what?” I was sure I had misheard her.

“We can be nomads, just travel together. There’s a whole world to see, it will be fun.” She was trying to convince herself as much as she was me. “We can still visit them if you like, or not, it won’t matter.”

“Why are you saying this? I know how much it means to you to be with them.”

“Because I love you.” She was pleading with me to understand. “If this is what you need for you to be happy, it’s what we will do.”

“You’d really do that?”

“Yes. As much as I love the family, I will leave them all, Jasper included, to be with you. I don’t need anything else in my life if I have you.”

I now understood how she felt when she left La Push after making her peace with Jacob, I felt the same now. It was a physical sensation.

I finally saw what she had been telling me all along. The fact she was prepared to do this meant more than any reassuring words could. She loved me. She loved me enough to leave them all behind.

I pulled her to me to and our lips me in a searing kiss. It was unlike any kiss we had shared before, it was more than passion or love; it was like our hearts were reuniting.

It wasn’t enough, I had to feel all of her. I pulled her sweater over her head, our lips parting for a few seconds, a few seconds too long. Her hands fumbled at the buttons of my shirt and slid it from my shoulders.

I pulled her down the bed and settled between her legs. She moaned as I pressed against her center, and it sent my own arousal to a new level.

I could see the dark shape of her nipple through the lace of her bra. With a feather light touch, I ran my fingertips over her peak. Her back arched from the bed and hiss escaped her teeth.

“Is this okay,” I asked tentatively.

“Oh God, yes. Please don’t stop.”

I had no intentions of stopping. With a flick of my fingers, I tore her bra and slipped it from her shoulders. Trailing kisses along her collar bone, I worked my way back to her breasts. I dipped my head slowly and took her nipple into my mouth, swirling my tongue over the peak, relishing in her gasps and moans.

I ran one hand down her stomach, feeling her stomach quiver against my touch. I snapped open her jeans and slid my hand down to her center. Her panties were slightly damp from her arousal. With a gentle touch, I pushed them aside and slipped a finger inside her.

She gasped. Her hips bucked against my hand, making my erection press against her leg. With a wicked smile, she pulled my face up to hers and kissed me. She then sld her hand down and gripped my erection through my jeans.

“These are going to need to come off,” she said.

Needing no more encouragement than that, I ripped them and my shorts off and threw the tattered fabric to the floor. I sat back on my heels and tore hers away, too. All that was between us now was the thin lace of her panties. I cupped her mound and pressed down with the heel of my hand, drawing a long lascivious moan from her.

She tore her panties away, and she lifted her knees, exposing herself to my greedy stare. I lowered my head, wanting to taste her, but she sat up and gripped my chin.

“Not this time, I need to feel you only.”

“Are you sure you’re ready?”

“I have never been more ready. I love you, Edward, and I want to be with you.”

I stroked my erection, and settled at her entrance. “If I hurt you, you must tell me.” Though we were physically equal now, I still feared this would hurt her.

“I will be fine.” She wrapped her legs around me and pulled me down. With tentative slowness, I sank into her, a deep groan rumbling up my throat. I had never imagined there could be anything better than having her with me, but this was out of this world. She was so warm and wet. I wanted to take my time and prolong the experience, but my desire overwhelmed me. With a hard thrust, I entered her fully.

She moaned.

“Did I hurt you? Are you okay?”

“More than okay,” she sighed. “I’m perfect.”

“Yes you are,” I said fervently.

She shifted her hips against me. Making my eyes roll back in my head. These feeling she was creating in me were beyond imagining. Her back arched, and I felt her walls grip my length

A new confidence stole over me, and I pulled back then sank into her again.

“More, I need more,” she moaned.

With a swift movement, she spun me so I was lying back on the bed and she was seated directly above me. Slowly at first, then with building speed, she rocked against me. I gripped her hips guiding her movements.

Moans and growls slipped between my teeth as I struggled to control myself. I wanted her to have her pleasure, too. She slid a hand down to where we were joined and began to touch herself.

I had never seen anything more erotic in my life. I pushed her hand away, replacing it with my own.

Her moans became screams, and I knew she was close.

“Look at me Bella. I want to see it in your eyes when you come,” I gasped.

Her eyes locked with mine, and I increased my ministrations against her clit.

Her walls contracted around me, and I roared out my pleasure as I reached my release, falling into bliss at the same moment as her.

As the waves of pleasure receded, I pulled her down onto my chest; I needed to feel her against me, prolonging the ecstasy of the moment.

She nestled her face into my neck, and her soft breaths felt like a caress against my skin.

“I love you,” she sighed.

“As I love you.”

We stayed like that for hours, neither of us speaking, just allowing ourselves time to be.

“So, are we going to be nomads?” she asked, breaking the silence as dawn’s light crept through the window.

“No, not unless you want to be.”

I didn’t want to leave the family, we both loved them too much to do that to them. More than that though, we _needed_ them. I had no fear of losing her.

She slid from my chest and sat beside me, looking down at me with a hesitant smile. “Do you mean that? Because if you can’t be happy with them, we won’t go back.”

“But I can be happy with them; _all_ of them. I’m not going to pretend that I understand your relationship with Jasper, but I do accept it. You need him–”

She opened her mouth to speak, but I pressed a kiss to her lips to halt her words.

“You need him in a way you don’t need me, it’s not a bad thing. I didn’t understand before and that scared me. I know better now.”

“You will always come first,” she said. “Just because I need him, doesn’t make me love you any less.”

“I know, love. I’m sorry I didn’t see that before.”

She laid down and rested her head on my chest. “We can’t go out today can we?”

I looked out the window, the skies were a perfect cloudless blue and the sun was already beaming down. We were going to be trapped inside all day. “No, not for a while anyway, was there something you wanted to do?”

“No, I think I’d be quite happy staying here forever.”

I pressed a kiss to her hair. “Sounds perfect.”

xXx

**GREETINGS FROM CHICAGO**

**_Hello All. We have been enjoying the sights of the city, some old some new. Tonight we are going to the Opera. We love you and miss you. Edward and Bella_ **

“Alice will be doing a happy dance right now,” Bella huffed from the bathroom. “Not only did I go shopping of my own volition, but I am wearing heels. I feel sorry for Jasper, he’s got to be suffering right now.”

“Aren’t you shielding from her?” I asked.

“No, I don’t like to do it too much as I know she’ll worry. I shield the interesting things, though. No need for her to see _that._ ”

I chuckled. “Good thinking.” There were some things I didn’t really want Alice having a direct view of, my new physical relationship with Bella being one of them. “Are you almost ready? We are going to be…”

She stepped around the bathroom door and my breath caught in my throat; she looked beautiful. She was wearing a floor length gown in deep blue, and her hair was pinned in an intricate twist at the nape of her neck.

“Is it too much?” she asked. “You said it was formal occasion, I can change.”

“No!” It came out as a plea. “You look perfect, please don’t change.”

She giggled. “Okay, then. Can you zip me up? Apparently even vampire grace doesn’t make it any easier to put these things on.”

If I was not so excited about our evening, I wouldn’t have been able to stop myself from sliding the dress from her shoulders and pressing kisses to every inch of her flesh; as it was, I couldn’t resist pressing a lingering kiss to bare neck.

“Later stud,” she teased. “You promised me an evening of culture, and I am not about to let you renege on it.”

“Later,” I sighed, then took her hand leading her out to the lobby.

We were only a couple of blocks from the theatre, so we walked hand in hand through the crowds. There were a lot of people like us, heading out for a night on the town, dressed in their finest. Bella drew attention from everyone we passed; I heard the envy and lust in their thoughts as they caught sight of her. She was as oblivious to the attention as ever. She looked up at the buildings we passed, her expression wondrous.

I hadn’t told her where we were going, but as we reached the theatre the secret was lost as she caught sight of the posters.

“Romeo and Juliet?” she asked, her eyes shining with excitement.

“I thought you might enjoy seeing it performed in properly, the way Shakespeare intended it to be presented.”

She giggled. “I remember that, we watched it at Charlie’s.”

The day of her birthday… I shook my head to banish the memory.

“That was then, this is now,” she said, squeezing my hand. “Now we are together.”

“Yes we are.” I kissed her chastely and led her into the theatre. I showed our tickets, and we were directed up the stairs.

“A box?” she asked, quirking a brow at me.

“I wanted it to be special; we will be more comfortable alone.”

“It’s already special, but I appreciate the thought.”

She took a seat at the balcony and leaned out, gazing at the intricate molding on the ceiling.

“Can you do something for me?” I asked.

“Anything, what do you need?”

“Can you keep your mind open to me tonight? I’d love to hear what you are thinking.”

I wanted to share this experience with her. Before we set out for our trip I had thought of the places and things I wanted to show her. This was high on my list.

“Of course.”

I felt her lift the shield, and her sweet voice filled my mind. _Is that better?_

I nodded fervently. “It’s perfect.”

_Good. Now shush, it’s starting._

The lights dimmed, and I settled back in my chair. We were supposed to be watching _Romeo and Juliet,_ but I barely paid it second’s attention; I was captivated by Bella’s mind. She was spellbound by the performance, and her thoughts jumped constantly as she followed the story.

As Juliet bemoaned her husband’s fate and took her own life her thoughts disappeared as she snapped her shield back in place.

“What’s wrong?” I asked.

She shook her head and led me out of our box. The performance hadn’t ended and the halls were empty.

“Not here, let’s go somewhere quiet.”

We exited the theatre and made our way through the busy streets, in silence. I wondered what she was hiding, but knew better than to ask. She would tell me in her own time. Eventually we came to Oak Street Beach; we slipped off our shoes and walked through the sand towards the shore. We were alone, the crowds of day trippers that usually populated the beach had all gone home for the day.

I shrugged off my jacket and spread it on the sand for her to sit on. She lifted her skirt, exposing the smooth pale skin of her legs and settled on the sand, resting back on her elbows. I sat beside her and waited for her to speak.

“Are you happy, Edward?” she asked.

“I am happier than I have ever been in my life,” I said earnestly. The only thing that could complete my bliss would be if I could gather the nerve to show her what I had nestled in my pocket. I had been waiting for the right time to ask, but her thoughtful expression gave me pause. “Are you?”

She smiled dazzlingly. “I am. I was watching the play and thinking about the last time we watched it together. Do you remember what you said to me?”

Of course I remembered. Even without the flawless recollection of my kind, I would remember that. It was one of the most significant moments of my life. “I told you if I had lost you, I would have sought to end my life. Is that why you shielded your thoughts, because you were remembering, too?”

“In a way, I was thinking of how I felt that day. I didn’t understand it then, I thought you were being melodramatic, but now I understand. I know I would do the same if I lost you.”

I froze for a split second, my mind reeling at the thought. “You can’t do that!” I gasped.

“This is why I shielded my thoughts. I thought you might have this reaction. You don’t need to worry; neither of us are going anywhere, so it is a moot point. But it made me think of something else, if I can’t live in a world without you, there can’t be anything else I wouldn’t do to be with you.”

Could she possibly mean what I thought she meant. The small box in my pocket felt like it was burning against my chest. I had waited for the right moment, this had to be it.

“And I realized there wasn’t,” she said, cutting through my thoughts. “So, I want to ask you a question.” She shifted, so she was kneeling beside me.

I was sure she was going to ask if I felt the same, and I did. Now I understood and had accepted her relationship with Jasper there was nothing I wouldn’t do for her.

She took my hands in her and looked deep into my eyes.

“Edward Cullen, will you marry me?”


	7. Angel Eyes

**Bella POV**

He was completely still, his mouth gaped open and his eyes glazed.

“Edward, are you okay?”

He nodded mutely.

“Are you going to answer me?”

“I’m not sure I heard correctly,” he croaked. Though he had closed his mouth again, his eyes were still wide and staring.

I giggled. “Do you need me to ask again?”

“Please.”

I knelt before him and cupped his face in my hands. “Edward Cullen, will you marry me?”

His face broke into a dazzling smile. “Yes.”

I leant forward, and our lips met in a searing kiss. He clutched me to him. I tried to climb onto his lap, but the skirt of my dress was too tight. With a wicked grin, he ripped it to the thigh, leaving me able to wrap my legs around his waist and seat myself on his outstretched legs.

I lifted my shield allowing him to hear the happiness of my thoughts and traced a finger over the wide arc of his smile. I had never seen him so blissful, not even when I found him in the clearing the day I returned.

“That’s because I wasn’t sure you were real then,” he said.

I pressed a kiss to his lips. “I am real, and I am yours.”

He held me close, nesting his face in the crook of my neck. _“Mine.”_ It was almost a whisper, barely registering, but I heard it.

“We need to get you a ring,” I said. “If you want one, that is. I’m not sure the custom when the woman proposes.”

He lifted his head to face me and slipped a hand into his jacket pocket. “I guess great minds do think alike.”

He held out a small, pale blue box and flipped the lid open. Nestled in white satin was a platinum ring with a diamond cut in the shape of a heart; it was simple, elegant and perfect.

“If you don’t like it, we can choose a different one together,” he said fretfully.

“I love it,” I said. “It’s absolutely beautiful.”

He sighed with relief. “I always planned to give you my mother’s ring when I proposed, but I thought we should have a completely fresh start. I was looking around the stores today while you were dress shopping, and I saw this. It just seemed right. I was waiting for the right moment, but you beat me to it.” There was a hint of a frown on his face as he said it.

“You wanted to be the one to propose, didn’t you?” I guessed.

“I admit, I had given it a lot of thought. I have been imagining this moment since the first time we visited the meadow.”

“That long?” I asked. I thought back to our first day together; it had been magical, but also unreal. I was in awe of him; his beauty and power. When we declared our love for each other, it felt like a dream, to think that even then he was planning our life together was a little surreal.

“I have always known this was where I wanted our path to lead,” he said serenely. “I wanted you to be my wife. I waited as you were still so young and then… well, things didn’t happen quite the way I imagined.”

“And then I stole your thunder by proposing to you?”

“No! I am happy that you asked, I don’t know that I would have plucked up the courage otherwise. I just wish I had acted sooner.”

“Well lucky for you we are having a run of luck in the second chances department lately.” I said getting to my feet. “Here’s your chance, make it count.”

He beamed at me, taking one hand into his own he held out the ring. “Isabella Swan, will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?”

I looked into his earnest face and saw the differences in him now to the boy I had first met four years ago. Physically he hadn’t changed at all, but emotionally he had matured; he was a man now.

“I would love to,” I said happily.

He slid the ring onto my finger and then pressed a kiss to it. He looked up at me, his eyes shining with happiness. “Thank you.” 

He ran his hands up my bare calves, lingering at the splits he had created in my dress. “You know I like these modifications to your outfit.”

“I imagine you do, but this is not the place to explore them further. I think we’d have a hard time explaining to Carlisle why we got arrested for indecent exposure on a Chicago beach.”

“I think you’ll find he’s generally accepting of those little slips. He and Esme—”

I slapped a hand to his mouth. “Please don’t say it!”

“Well if you’re certain, but there was this one time when we were living in Canada…”

“La-la-la-la, can’t hear you!” I clapped my hands over my ears and ran down the beach singing loudly.

His roars of laughter followed me.

xXx

I was stretched out on our bed, Edward’s was head resting against my stomach, as he traced lazy patterns on my naked chest. The dress I had been wearing was now scraps of fabric on the floor, as was his suit.

He had chased me all the way back to the hotel, humans watching after us as we passed. When he caught me, he had demanded his reward; I was only too happy to oblige. The new physical aspect to our relationship was thrilling, and each time I felt a little more connected to him. It was as if our bond was constantly strengthening, adding new layers to the braids of love holding us together. Surely nothing could separate us now.

I lifted my hand, admiring the way the light caught the perfect cut stone of my ring.

“Edward.”

“Hmmm.” He lifted his head lazily.

“What happens next?”

“Well, it’s traditional to have a wedding, but if you prefer we can skip that step and move on to the honeymoon.” He cupped a breast in his hand and teased a thumb across my nipple.

“Insatiable man.” I slapped his hand away and got up, pulling on the shirt that had somehow made it through the destruction of the night.

“If you are trying to make yourself less alluring, you are going the wrong way about it,” he said, his eyes darkening as he surveyed me.

“What happened to the Edward Cullen that used to stutter when he accidentally grazed a breast?” I teased.

“He disappeared when he realized his fiancée is no longer fragile as spun glass. Besides, I never stuttered.”

“Of course you didn’t dear,” I said, patting his cheek affectionately. “For the record, I was never as fragile as spun glass.”

“That’s probably true,” he said thoughtfully. “Though I can’t imagine doing what we did last night without causing some serious damage. You weren’t nearly as flexible as a human.”

I threw a cushion at him. “Focus Cullen! I am trying to talk to you about what we do next.”

He grinned. “I apologize. What do you want to do next?”

I pulled the tattered map from my rucksack and sat down on the bed beside him. “Where next?” I asked.

Each place we had visited was marked with a red dot, and there were still great expanses of unmarked land to visit.

“There are still a lot of places left to see, and we need to make a decision about the family, too. We promised to meet with them occasionally, and it’s been two months now.”

“I don’t want to go home yet,” he said, nuzzling his face into my hair.

“Nobody said we have to, but we should at least see them. We also need to make a decision about the wedding. I can’t shield us forever, and you know Alice is going to be insane with excitement when she spots my new accessory.”

He held my hand, turning the band of my ring thoughtfully. “How about we combine the two? We can go west and call the family to meet us there.”

“West?”

“Vegas.”

My face spilt into a wide smile. “Really?”

“If that is what you want.”

It was exactly what I wanted. I loved our family, but I knew if given their way Alice, Esme, and Rose would turn this into a huge event; and I didn’t think I could stand it. Charlie wasn’t here to give me away, and Renee couldn’t lecture me on the foolishness of marrying too young. It didn’t seem right to do it without them.

“Are you sure you don’t mind?” I asked. “You don’t have some vision of our wedding like you did the proposal?”

“I had imagined it, but none of it matters now. A wedding is just a day; it’s the marriage I am excited about.”

“So we’re going to Vegas?”

“We’re going to Vegas. Can I make one suggestion, though?”

I nodded.

“Can we wait until we are there to call the family? The less guilt trips we have to endure the better. We can have it all arranged for their arrival, and they won’t have a chance to argue. We can get married, pack them off to Alaska again, and then we can go to Esme’s island.”

I laughed. “That’s an excellent plan, but I think you are underestimating the power of Esme’s guilt trips. She may not let us use the island after this.”

“Then I will buy you one. Isle Isabella. It has quite the ring to it, don’t you think?”

“I’m going to pretend you are joking,” I said sternly. “I _don’t_ need an island. If Esme won’t let us use hers, we can continue our travels.”

“As you wish.”

“Are there any places in Chicago that you want to see before we leave?” I asked.

“Not really,” he said offhandedly. “I have seen all I want to see.”

“You don’t want to visit your parents?”

He sighed heavily, raking his hands through his hair. “This is probably going to sound terrible, but I don’t think I can face it.”

I was surprised by his answer. He had supported me as I said my goodbyes to Charlie and Renee, encouraging me when I wavered. I thought the amount of time that passed since his parents’ death would make it easier for him to do. I was wrong. I saw the tense set of his jaw and his clenched fists, and realized just how much the idea upset him.

“What happened?” I asked softly.

“I came back once, when I was living away from Carlisle and Esme. I knew where their grave was, but I couldn’t make myself go there. I couldn’t look at their last resting place with the red eyes of a murderer.”

I stroked his jaw and looked into the gold eyes I loved. I couldn’t imagine them crimson. The only red-eyed vampires I had seen were ones that were trying to hurt me. I hadn’t even seen my own red-eyes as a newborn.

He fell silent, his eyes distant as he examined the memories.

“Unlike you, I don’t have many memories of my human life,” he said conversationally. “Just vague images of my mother and father, but I remembered the house we had lived in. I couldn’t see my parents, so I went to the house instead. There was a new family living there, a mother and father, and a young son. I stayed there for hours, hiding in the shadows and listening to their thoughts. I thought they were a normal happy family, just living their life. I was _wrong.”_

His hands clenched into fists in his lap. I uncurled his fingers and held his hands in my own.

“The father wasn’t a normal man. When night came he would hurt his son; he did things to him that were sick and cruel. I couldn’t allow it to happen. I waited until the mother was asleep, and I knocked on their door. When he answered, I snapped his neck and left him at the bottom of the stairs, so it looked like he had fallen.”

“You did a good thing. You saved the boy.”

“I did, but not for the right reasons. It wasn’t his son I was thinking of when I killed him; it was myself. He spoiled that place for me, spoiled the memories; and I wanted revenge. In the years I was gone, I had killed countless humans; murderers, rapists, the filth of society. But I had never done it for revenge, and I had never enjoyed it as much as I did then. I realized I was losing the humanity Carlisle had always embodied and with it part of myself. That was the last human life I took.”

“You went back to Carlisle and Esme?”

He nodded. “They welcomed me home with open arms, and forgave me my crimes. But I have never been able to find the courage to come back and visit my parents’ grave with gold eyes.”

“Do you want to now? I understand if you can’t, but if you want to see them, I will go with you. I know how much it helped me to see Charlie again and to say goodbye; maybe it will help you too.”

 _‘Maybe,’_ he whispered. _‘Can I face them though?’_

“I’ll be right there with you. I can hold your hand,” I said.

He nodded solemnly. “Okay, as long as you are there, I can do it.”

xXx

It was late afternoon when we reached the gates of Rosehill Cemetery. We had to wait for the clouds to cover the sun enough for us to be out in public.

Edward had been very quiet all day, occasionally murmuring reassurances to himself. We had curled up in bed, just allowing our presence to comfort each other.

I was worried that I had pushed him into this before he was ready, but when I questioned him, he assured me he was. He certainly didn’t seem ready if his murmurs were anything to go by; the closer we got to the cemetery, the more he fretted. I suspected I wasn’t supposed to be able to hear these though, so I ignored them as much as possible and squeezed his arm a little tighter.

“Are you ready?” I asked, realizing as I said it that they were the exact words he had said to me as I was preparing to scatter Renee’s ashes.

_‘I can do this.’_ He nodded and led me through the gate.

We walked past row upon row of gravestones, finally coming to a stop beside a magnificent oak tree. He stilled, looking up at the tree rather than the weather beaten marble in front of us. I squeezed his hand and then stepped forward to kneel at the marker.

“Oh,” I gasped, my hand clapping to my mouth. I had expected to see only two names on the stone, but beneath the names of his parents there was a third. **_Edward Anthony Masen. Son._**

“There was so much confusion during the epidemic,” he said in an offhand tone. “My mother’s family arranged the funeral. I imagine they were given the death certificate that Carlisle wrote and assumed my body had been buried in a mass grave by mistake. I wouldn’t be the only person to meet such a fate. They had to clear the cities of the dead somehow.”

“Why didn’t you say? I would never have suggested you come here if I had known.”

He knelt beside me and traced a fingertip over his name. “I didn’t know, but it doesn’t worry me. In a very real way, Edward Masen did die in 1918. I don’t think my parents would begrudge me the name of Cullen. They would understand.”

I rested my head on his shoulder, and he pressed a kiss to my temple.

“I’m glad I came. You were right, it has helped. I can look at their names now and not feel ashamed. After all, how bad can I be if an angel loves me?”

I smiled. “You are not bad at all. You are a good man, and they would be very proud of you.”

He stood and held out a hand. I saw the same look in his eyes that I had felt when I left First Beach. He had said his goodbyes and now needed to get away. I took his hand, and we walked back to the gate with our arms around each other.

We wandered along the streets, no destination in mind; he was talking to himself again. A disconcerting habit he seemed to have developed in the past couple of days. I would have to talk to him about it, but now was not the time. We came to a small park, and I sat him at a bench then brought us coffees from the small café.

“You’re not planning on making me drink that are you?” he asked when I handed him a mug.

I rolled my eyes. “No, but it smells nice, and I like the warmth.” I cupped the mug and felt the heat seep into my hands.

“Admittedly the warmth is nice, but you can’t seriously like the smell.”

“Why not?” Unlike a lot of the human foods I had come across since my change, coffee still smelled nice. I inhaled deeply.

 _‘You are a very odd vampire,’_ he murmured.

“That was a bit harsh, especially coming from the mind-reader,” I said stung. “I think we are all odd, that’s kind of the point. I don’t complain about you talking to yourself do I?”

“I didn’t say anything,” he said, his brow furrowed in confusion.

“You said I was odd. Technically you murmured it, which while we are being harsh, is a little annoying.”

“No, Bella, you don’t understand. I really didn’t say anything. I was _thinking_ it.”

“But that’s just…” I grappled to find a word. “Crazy.”

“Coming from the mind-reader,” he said. ‘ _Can you hear this?’_

I froze in shock. He wasn’t talking; I had been watching him the whole time. Unless he had a secret talent for ventriloquism I didn’t know about, I had just heard his thoughts.

“You heard me.” It wasn’t a question, it was a statement.

I nodded mutely.

“Do you know what this means?”

I shook my head. I knew what he was saying, but I didn’t want to hear it. I didn’t want another gift. I was a shield that was all. I didn’t want to be any more of an oddity than I apparently already was.

“You read my–”

I slammed my hand over his mouth. “Don’t say it. If you love me, you will not finish that sentence.”

“But why not?” he said, his words muffled. I removed my hand to let him speak. “I don’t understand why you are upset.”

“Because I don’t want to be any more of a freak than I already am,” I said desperately. “I’m the girl that ends up stuck in her own body while everyone calls her a shell. I’m the one that sat at the bottom of the ocean for two years because she was too stupid to see that she was loved. The one that thinks coffee smells good and apparently now reads _minds!”_

He moved to my side of the table and wrapped an arm around me. “You’re not a freak, you are beautiful, and wonderful, and gifted. That is nothing to be upset about.”

“Really? You think so!” I said harshly. “Eleazar already looks at me like I’m the second coming; he’s all about the power. I don’t want this.”

“I’m sorry, love, but I think you have it anyway. Let’s experiment a little first, there is no sense in getting upset until we know for certain. Can you hear what I am thinking now?”

I focused and found there was nothing other than the ambient sounds of the park, and his steady breathing. I shook my head.

_‘And now?’_

I flinched. “Stop that!”

“I’m sorry, love, one more try. The coffee vendor has a song stuck in his head, can you hear what it is?”

I looked at the squat man shaking his hips to an unheard rhythm and tried to hear his thoughts, but there was nothing. Almost against my will, I tossed the cold coffee into the bushes and approached him under the guise of returning the cups. There was still nothing.

I breathed a sigh of relief as I sat beside Edward again.

“I didn’t hear anything.”

“Then I don’t think you have anything to worry about. When I woke as a newborn, I could hear minds in a mile proximity. You were close enough that he should have been practically bellowing in your mind.”

“Then why can I hear you?” I asked, not feeling entirely reassured.

“Because it _is_ me. Think about it, I am a mind reader and your mate; we are bound together. I think you have been doing the same thing to Jasper all along, and we didn’t realize it.”

“I think I would have noticed if Jasper suddenly started talking in my head,” I said a little bitterly.

“Not his thoughts, but his emotions,” he said patiently. “He can feel your emotions at a much greater distance than he has with anyone else, and is able to send them to you with such precision that you are able to use Morse code to speak. He has never had such control before. I think it is a matter of familiarity. You said yourself that he is a part of you, and that I _am_ you. It makes sense that we would be the ones so affected by whatever it is you are doing.”

Even through my confusion at the revelation of this new Bella Swan freak-a-thon, I noticed the ease with which he spoke about Jasper; there was no bitterness now. It was that, more than his theory, that enabled me to marshal my fears and think clearly.

“So it’s just you two? I’m not going to start tapping into Alice’s vision or Rosalie’s power to mentally bitch-slap people?”

He chuckled. “I don’t think so, and you were only able to hear me the second time as I was focused on making you hear what I was thinking. I have been emotional today, thinking of what we were going to do; that is likely why you have been able to hear me.”

“So if you concentrate on not letting me hear, I won’t?” I asked hopefully.

“I think that should work. It is an interesting development though; imagine how upset Emmett will be when we can have completely silent conversations.”

I snorted. “Yep, he’s going to be pissed.”

“Then let’s not deny ourselves the opportunity to upset him. I have seen all I want to see here. Shall we move on to our next destination?”

“Vegas?” I said grinning widely.

He nodded. “Let’s get married.” 


	8. Walkin' In The Sunshine

**Jasper POV**

“I’m bored,” Emmett groaned, thumping down on the couch beside me. This had become something of a catchphrase for him since Edward and Bella had left.

I was also bored, not to mention sad, anxious and close to checking their credit card records so I could track them down and make sure she was okay.

The first time that thought had crossed my mind, Alice dragged me from the room and told me in no uncertain terms that if I did that, I was going to drive them both away for a lot longer than they were planning.

It wasn’t that I was worried something was wrong between her and Edward; in fact, since their last postcard reached us, I had been persuaded that they were doing just fine. Bella’s cheery notes, and Edward’s funeral reading style narrations had combined to show a much more reassuring picture. I was worried about _her_ though. She had said she needed to be away to grieve, and I wanted to be there to help her.

They said they would call us and arrange to meet. But, other than one phone call to Carlisle in which she professed a desire to dive from the hoover dam – a conversation that left Esme so worried it had taken thirty minutes and a hefty dose of calm to settle her – we had only had postcards. Alice told us that they were fine and were just enjoying their time together, but I wasn’t completely reassured.

“Want to wrestle?” Emmett asked.

“Not particularly. Why don’t you go amuse yourself with Rosalie?”

“Because apparently even she has limits. She sent me to play with you.”

“Well, Em, I’m flattered and all, but I don’t think Alice would be amused.”

He jumped to his feet and relocated to an armchair. “Dude, that’s just wrong.”

“You don’t know what you’re missing, Em,” Alice called from the library. She was helping Esme make blueprints for her next project. 

Carlisle had suggested that Edward and Bella may wish to live apart from the family when they returned. This had triggered another round of hysterics from Esme, which I had not been able to aid as I was having a difficult time deal with my own panic. When he had finally calmed her down, she was silent for an unusually long time, then announced that she would build them a home nearby.

“That way they can have privacy, but they will still be close.”

It was a good idea, but there was no knowing whether it would work. I knew when they left that Edward was still dealing with his insecurities about their relationship. He may want their home to be further than a few miles away. 

Because of the remoteness of our house here, and Carlisle’s choice to work on research rather than in a hospital setting, we could stay here a lot longer than was usually possible. Best of all, we didn’t have to play at being high school students here.

I wondered if Bella would want to return to school when they got back. She hadn’t completed her senior year owing to her injuries and may want to graduate officially. As we hadn’t faked her death, she could technically return to school under her own name.

I was pulled from my thoughts by the ringing of a phone. I pulled it from my pocket and grinned as I read the caller ID. “Bella.” The word was barely out of my mouth before Emmett snatched the phone out of my hand.

“Bella! I miss you. Are you coming home?”

“Hey Grizz, not that it’s not nice to talk to you, but I thought I called Jasper’s phone.”

“He stole it!” I shouted.

I heard her laughed delightedly. “Poor Jasper, you’ll have to be quicker next time.”

She sounded happy. I couldn’t help but smile.

The others had all been drawn in by Emmett’s voice, so he held out the phone so we could all hear.

“So are you coming home?” Esme asked hopefully.

“Oh, hey mom,” Bella said. “Who else is there?”

There was a chorus of “me” from us all. I heard Edward chuckle and whisper something to Bella and her responding giggle.

“Are we interrupting something?” Emmett asked, grinning widely.

“No, but the maid service did,” Edward said lightly.

We all stared at the receiver, mouths agog. This was _not_ the Edward that went away two months ago.

“Anyway, we aren’t coming home just yet. We are heading to Vegas next, but we were hoping you’d want to meet with us,” Bella said.

Alice grinned broadly. She loved Vegas, not only was the nightlife ideally suited to our kind, but she enjoyed the opportunity to swindle the casinos. She said it was fair as they did the same to unsuspecting humans.

“That sounds lovely. When are you going to be there?” Esme asked.

Her excitement was purely at the idea of seeing Bella and Edward again, but was no less overwhelming than Alice’s. Combined with my own excitement, and the glee from the rest of the room, and I was close to doing a happy dance.

“Well, we’re just approaching the Rockies now, and we are going to stop and hunt, so we’ll be there some time tomorrow morning.”

Rosalie was already searching for flight times on the laptop. “There’s a flight that will get us there around 3pm tomorrow.”

“Alright, well call us when you get into town, and we’ll arrange somewhere to meet.”

We exchanged goodbyes, and Emmett hung up.

“It sounds like they’re doing well,” Esme said happily.

“Understatement!” Emmett chuckled. “Did you hear what Edward said? I always said that boy needed to get–”

Rosalie clapped a hand over his mouth, cutting off his words. “That is your sister you are talking about.”

Carlisle cleared his throat awkwardly. “Yes, thank you for that Emmett. Disregarding their personal activities, they do sound happy, Edward especially.”

“About time, too,” Rosalie said, tapping away at the laptop. “There, we’re all booked for tomorrow at nine.”

“We’re going to Vegas!” Emmett said happily.

We were going to Vegas, and I was going to see Bella. I couldn’t help the silly smile that spread over my face.

xXx

“Jasper!” Alice hissed, elbowing me in the ribs. “You’re projecting.”

“Oh.” I looked around and saw the rest of the passengers looking a little punch drunk. I reined in my emotions and sent out a wave of calm instead - apparently a little too much - as the people sitting directly in front of me fell asleep.

Emmett snorted, but I ignored him. It was partly his fault anyway; he was so hyped about seeing Bella and Edward again that I was having trouble blocking the emotions.

“I understand you are excited,” Alice said fondly. “But if you don’t calm down, you are going to affect the pilot. Which will in turn affect the plane, resulting in an emergency landing in the desert.”

Carlisle’s head snapped up. “Did you see this?”

“No, I was guessing. We will be fine, Carlisle,” she reassured him. “I’ve already checked ahead, and we land just fine.”

He relaxed back in his seat, his hand entwined with Esme’s.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered to Alice. “I’m just looking forward to seeing her.”

“I know, so am I. Though _I_ am looking forward to seeing both of them.”

I frowned. I wanted to see Edward, too. He was my brother after all, but I had no idea how he would receive me. The last time we had been alone, we were each doing our best to rip the other to shreds. He and Bella left so soon after there was no time to talk or apologize.

I knew I had been out of line in what I had said to him. Bella was right. I was taking my anger with her out on him. Not that he was without blame. He had issues with my and Bella’s relationship, but he was going to have to get over them. Alice accepted it without a problem, so should he.

“It will be fine,” Alice soothed, seeing my clenched fists. “You both just need to talk.”

I suspected Alice had seen more that passed between Edward and I than she had told the rest of the family. She had listened to me rant and rave about him for a few days. Then had sat me down and told me in no uncertain terms that I needed to let it go.

We had been mates for decades and had never been apart. Edward and Bella didn’t have that comfort, so I needed to be more understanding. I had tried to explain that _we_ hadn’t been separated as neither of us were stupid enough to abandon the other, but she had cut me off with a glare.

She rested her head on my arms, and I buried my face in her hair. “I love you,” I whispered.

She giggled. “I know.” I closed my eyes and pushed away all else but her sweet scent and the feeling of her in my arms for the rest of the flight.

It is a little known fact for all but vampires, but airports smell absolutely foul. The mass of humans passing through - often after hours on a hot plane - creates a scent so pungent it almost completely overshadows the scent of blood. But even through the stench, I recognized two distinctive scents at the car rental counter. When Carlisle gave our names, the clerk handed over an envelope.

“A couple came by this morning and left this for you,” she said with a smile. “I believe they have arranged alternative transport for you.”

Carlisle thanked her and led us from the counter tearing open the envelope. A set of keys dropped out and a folded sheet of paper. 

**_Hi Guys. We have arranged a car for you. It’s in LOT C. More instructions to come. Edward and Bella x P.S Esme has to drive._ **

“More instructions to come,” Rosalie said. “What does that mean?”

“I rather think they are playing with us,” Carlisle said, his lips twitching into a smile. “It sounds interesting. And if I know Bella, she will not allow us to bypass any of their steps.”

“A scavenger hunt! Awesome!” Emmett bellowed, drawing concerned looks from the humans around us.

“Shall we find our car?” Carlisle asked. We all nodded and made our way out to the parking lot.

Nevada weather is not ideal for vampires, and we were forced to be imaginative to avoid direct exposure. Emmett seemed to enjoy the added challenge and hummed the _Mission Impossible_ theme song as we made our way outside.

I scanned the lot, searching for where Edward and Bella’s scent was strongest, but they had done all they could to conceal it; every car in the lot had apparently been touched by them.

“Use the key fob,” Rosalie advised.

Carlisle held it out and pressed the button. I heard the beep of the alarm, and my mouth dropped open.

“Holy crap!” Emmett said breathlessly. “It’s a Hummer. They rented us a Hummer.”

“Technically they rented _me_ a Hummer,” Esme said, grinning widely. “Since I am the one they say has to drive it.” She looked thoroughly excited at the prospect. She snatched the keys from Carlisle and climbed in. “There’s another note.”

We climbed into the car and read the note she was holding out.

**_Congratulations. You have completed part one of the challenge. Your next step is to visit Studio Walk at the MGM Grand and find a sales assistant called Janet. She will have your next instructions. Edward and Bella x P.S Don’t book a room. We have already arranged your lodgings._ **

Esme gunned the engine and drove us to the hotel. I could see why Edward – or more likely Bella – had said Esme should drive. It was a ludicrous sight to see soft and gentle looking Esme behind the wheel of the enormous car.

We pulled up at the entrance to the hotel and Esme tossed the keys to a gleeful valet. We stepped inside the lobby, and my head snapped up as I felt a very familiar wave of amusement. Easy to recognize through the maelstrom of emotion in the area due to its force. Bella.

My gaze search the lobby, but I couldn’t see them. Wherever they were, they were hiding well; and as with the parking, they had spread their scent thoroughly.

_‘Hey, no cheating. You haven’t completed your challenge yet. We’ll see you later.’_

A startled laugh slipped from me, drawing all eyes to me.

“What is it?” Alice asked.

“They’re here!” I said, grinning broadly. “But we have to finish the challenge before we can see them.

“Nice, apparently Bella has picked up Edward’s liking for stalking.”

_‘Suck it up, Grizz.’_

I shared Bella’s response, and he laughed. It was surreal translating her words again, but rather than being upsetting because of the associations, it made me smile. I liked that she was still using this form of communication.

 _‘Now go find, Janet,’_ she instructed.

There was no need to search for the mysterious Janet as she was waiting for us just inside the entrance to the retail area.

“You must be the Cullens,” she said by way of a greeting. “I have been asked to give you this, but to tell you not to read it yet. First, you each need a formal outfit.”

“We do?” I said blankly. Bella, the girl who lived in jeans and t-shirts, wanted us to wear a formal outfit.

“Yeah, you do. You’re Jasper right? She said you might make trouble, but I was to remind you of who you’re married to and think how much worse it could be.” She wasn’t remotely embarrassed about saying that; in fact, she seemed to be enjoying herself. This woman was a serious hard-ass. I liked her.

I went with Carlisle and Emmett to find suits while Alice, Esme, and Rose headed into a boutique. It didn’t take us long to find what we needed. We were all well versed in the Alice Cullen Style Guide. When we were done, we went to the main lobby and indulged in some people watching while waiting for Alice, Rose, and Esme to join us.

Emmett and I were playing spot the nose job on the people trotting past, while Carlisle pretended to be too dignified to join us. When we graduated from spotting nose jobs to breast implants, he gave up the pretense and joined in.

“That one there,” he whispered. “They are far too perky to be natural.”

“What’s too perky?” Esme asked, coming to stand beside us.

“That woman’s breasts,” Emmett said blithely. 

Esme gave the woman an appraising glance. “Yes, far too perky. Rose and Alice are just finishing up now. Are you boys ready?”

Ten minutes later they arrived, laden with bags and radiating excitement.

“We can open the note now right?” Emmett asked excitedly.

“I think we have met their last challenge,” Carlisle said. “Let’s see what they have lined up for us next.”

He tore open the envelope and a hotel keycard fell out with the note.

**_Congratulations. You have completed part two of the challenge. Your next task is to go to the Palms Hotel and find your room. We forgot the number, so you might have to try a few doors before you find the right one. Edward and Bella x_ **

“Do they seriously expect us to wander a hotel testing doors till we find the right one?” Alice said incredulously.

“I imagine that is Bella’s idea of a joke,” Esme said fondly. “I’m sure if we ask at reception they will be able to tell us which room is ours.”

“That’s cheating,” Emmett said piously.

“It might be cheating, but it is the sensible choice. If we get kicked out of the hotel, we may not find their next note,” Alice said.

Not wanting to miss out on the next challenge, Emmett agreed, and we made our way out to wait for the car to be brought round.

“This is really quite fun,” Carlisle said happily. “I don’t know why we never thought of doing something like this before.”

“Because none of us have the special brand of crazy that Bella possesses,” Rosalie said.

_Bite me Blondie!’_

I snorted, but chose not to translate that little gem.

When we got to the Palms, Carlisle showed our key card at reception; and we were led to the twenty-fifth floor by an eager porter.

“Welcome to the Kingpin Suite,” he said, swinging the door open with flourish. “Enjoy your stay.”

Bella _had_ to be the one to pick this out for us, it was insane. At the side of the room were two full size bowling lanes, on the far wall was a theatre size TV, and in the centre of the room was a pool table.

We were never going to be able to persuade Emmett to leave. He was gazing around the room with a look of wonder, and I knew it was only a matter of time before he lost his verbal filter.

Carlisle seemed to come to the same realization as he tipped the porter and ushered him out of the room.

“I see a note,” Alice trilled, snatching an envelope from the centre of the pool table.

**_Congratulations on completing the final challenge. Hope you like the room. We wanted to get you the Hugh Heffner Sky Villa, but it was booked. A car will be picking you up at 9pm. Please wear the outfits you brought today. Love Edward and Bella x_ **

“A car will be picking you up at nine,” Esme read aloud. “Why can’t we see them now?”

“Because they evidently have something planned for us. I say we allow them their fun. It’s only a few more hours after all,” Carlisle said reasonably.

“But what are we going to do until then?” Alice asked.

Emmett caught my eye grinning widely, and I nodded.

“We bowl.”

xXx

Three hours later, we were all dressed in our newly purchased clothes and waiting at the entrance for our arranged car to pick us up.

“Oh no,” Carlisle moaned. “Please not that.”

I turned to see what was troubling him, and my heart sank. A hot pink hummer limousine was pulling up in front of us.

A black jacketed chauffeur climbed out and gave us a courteous bow. “Would you be the Cullen family?”

“We are,” Carlisle said politely.

Without a another word, the chauffeur opened the door for us and gestured for us to enter.

“I’m afraid we don’t have a destination,” Carlisle said.

“Not to worry, I’ve been given an address. I am not supposed to tell you, though.”

“Why doesn’t that surprise me,” Alice hissed. “They are having far too much fun keeping us in the dark.”

“Doesn’t feel that good when you aren’t all knowing, does it?” Emmett teased, earning himself a dig in the ribs.

Unable to hide my smile, I climbed into the limo and froze; it was a pink neon nightmare. I sat down and fixed my eyes on the mercifully plain black carpet.

“Wow, it looks like Alice has been let loose in here,” Emmett said, sliding in beside me.

The others climbed in and settled themselves down, each wearing similar expressions of shock at the interior. The chauffeur clicked the door shut, and a moment later we pulled out onto the strip.

I stared out of the window searching for a clue as to where we were being taken, but was unsuccessful. We drove for about ten minutes before coming to a smooth halt at the side of the road. The chauffeur opened the door, and we climbed out.

“No freaking way!” Alice gasped.

The shock of the family swept over me like a wave. We were standing in front of the Little Church Of The West Wedding Chapel.


	9. Chapter Nine - Love and Marriage

**Edward POV**

"Oh God, that is the funniest thing I've ever seen." Bella managed between chuckles. "I thought seeing Esme driving the Hummer would be good, but watching Carlisle climbing out of a hot pink limousine is even better."

We were watching from behind the tinted windows of our car, just as we had all day. We had followed them as they puzzled over our first note at the airport, then each step of their journey through town. The only thing we had missed was their reaction to the Kingpin Suite, and that was because I couldn't get close enough to read the thoughts of one of them.

We had experimented with our newfound mental connection all the way from Chicago and had discovered Bella was able to read my mind whenever she focused, or when I was feeling a particularly powerful emotion. At first it was like a whisper, but the more we practiced the clearer it became. I was eager to discuss this with Carlisle and Eleazar, but she had asked that we keep it to ourselves a little longer.

"Shall we go say hello?" I asked.

She didn't answer, but swung open the door and ran at Jasper. He saw her a second before she launched herself into his arms. His smile was dazzling as he caught her and swung her around.

I watched, waiting for the bite of jealousy or anger, but none came. I was secure in our relationship at last, and could enjoy her happiness at their reunion.

I made my way over to them at a slightly more dignified pace, watching as Emmett wrestled Bella from Jasper's arms and hugged her.

 _Hello, Son. It is very good to see you again,_ Carlisle greeted.

"You too," I said, kissing Esme's cheek and receiving Alice's hug.

Emmett had set Bella on her feet again, and she was now being passed from Carlisle to Esme as they each greeted her. I looked at my watch and gave Bella a pointed look.

"Okay, we'll have to save the catch up for later; we have an appointment to prepare for," she said happily.

"Hold up!" Emmett said. "I thought this was a joke. Are you two seriously getting married?"

"Yep, and we're running late," Bella replied, ignoring the gasps of shock. "You boys need to go with Edward and get him fixed up. I have to grab some things out of the car, then I'll see you in there."

I wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her to me for one last kiss.

Emmett cleared his throat, and Bella moved one hand from where it was tangled in my hair to present him with her middle finger.

"We're going to be late," I said against her lips.

_Who cares?_

_Elvis._

She pulled away from me and laughed. "That would have been cool. We should have got him instead."

 _We can change it if you like,_ I offered.

She gave Alice an assessing glance, and shook her head. "Not a good idea." _I think we'd crack under the guilt if we delayed any more._

_True. We better get on with it then._

We were drawing curious looks for the rest of the family. I had already grown accustomed to speaking to her in thoughts and realized that to them she was having a very one sided conversation.

If we were to going keep this new development between ourselves, we needed to take more care. She seemed to come to the same realization as she kissed me chastely and smiled.

"I'll see you at the altar. I'll be the one wearing ratty sweats and a baseball cap."

I snorted. _Alice is going to freak out, in three… two… one…_

"You're wearing what?" Alice shrieked.

"Come on Alice, let's show you the finer points of trailer trash wedding style," Bella said, taking her hand and tugging her over to the car.

Alice's thoughts were a stream of expletives. She was appraising the dress Esme was wearing and trying to decide whether it would be a suitable exchange for Bella's jeans and sweater. She was determined that Bella wear something halfway decent to get married in.

"So…" Emmett said awkwardly. "You're really getting married?"

"We're really getting married," I confirmed, watching Bella slap Alice's hands away from the garment bag she had taken from the trunk. "And if we don't hurry, we'll miss our slot."

Bella, Esme, Rose, and the still muttering Alice disappeared inside, and I went to the car to retrieve my jacket and tie. I was already wearing most of my outfit, but Bella had wanted to keep her dress a surprise, so she was going to change here.

I locked the car and led the others to my own preparation room. I could hear the whispers and giggles from the ladies as they prepared Bella. She was evidently shielding them as I couldn't hear their thoughts, but I understood from Alice's happy chatter that Bella had shown her the dress. I wouldn't have minded if Bella had chosen to wear sweats and a baseball cap as she had threatened, but I was looking forward to seeing what she had picked out.

"You're a genius, you know that, right?" Emmett said.

"I like to think so," I said. "Which particular area of my genius are you referring to, though?"

"You've totally skipped past all the pre-wedding crap with the women. You and Bella are getting hitched, no muss, no fuss, and there is nothing the miniature meddler can do about it."

I looked to Jasper, wondering what he thought of Emmett's new moniker for his wife.

He shrugged. "I've got to admit, it's a stroke of genius. Alice is going to be pissed about it later, though."

"She'll get over it," I said offhandedly. "I wanted to make this as easy on Bella as I could. I don't think she would have survived the Alice Cullen Wedding Planner Extraordinaire Extravaganza."

"How is she?" Carlisle asked. "She seems to be doing well, but…"

"But it's Bella," Jasper said. "She's a pro at concealing the emotions."

"She's doing really well," I said happily. "As you know we went to Forks first. That was particularly difficult for her, as was Arizona. She needed to say her goodbyes, but once that was done she was fine. I really think she's okay now."

"And you?" Carlisle asked. "How are you?"

"I'm happy. I have my Bella with me, and I'm getting married. It doesn't get much better than this." I couldn't help the silly smile that spread over my face.

Jasper quirked a brow. He was assessing my emotions and trying to work out what the conflict was.

"Would you mind giving Jasper and I a moment to talk?" I asked.

"Sure, go ahead," Emmett said, though he made to movement to the door.

"He means privately," Carlisle said, clapping him on the back. "Let's see if the ladies require our assistance."

Emmett didn't look thrilled at the prospect of leaving, but he allowed Carlisle to lead him away.

When their footsteps had faded, I turned to Jasper. He tensed, as if preparing for an attack.

"I want to apologize," I said. "I shouldn't have attacked you. My fear and jealously was not really directed at you, and it made me unreasonable."

His eyebrows shot up; he was not expecting this. "You had cause," he said stiffly. "I said some pretty unreasonable things myself, after all."

"You did, and I took them too seriously; I didn't consider Bella's role in the situation. You may have wanted to stop us going away together, but I should have trusted her to refuse you. We have discussed these things together, and though I don't really understand the bond between you both, it doesn't worry me now. I trust her."

"I don't really understand it myself," he admitted. "You know there is nothing romantic about it though, right?" he asked.

"I do, but it is strong nonetheless."

"What did she say to make you understand?" he asked curiously.

"Let's just say she made me an offer I was forced to refuse," I said evasively.

I didn't think he would take the news that she offered to leave the family very well. I felt guilty for putting her in that position anyway. I should have had more faith in our relationship.

Carlisle knocked on the door, saving me from further questioning. "Are you ready?" he asked.

"We're ready," I said, then turned to Jasper. "I think you'll find Bella has something to ask you."

He looked confused, but didn't question me. He went to her, and Carlisle and I made our way into the chapel.

"You don't mind?" I asked.

"That Jasper will be the one to give her away?" he said. "Not at all. It means much more to him than it could me."

"It's not just that, though," I said. "To her, you are just as much a father as Charlie, but to ask you to do it would be a disrespect to his memory."

We had discussed this together when we made the arrangements. She was going to walk down the aisle alone, but I suggested she ask Jasper. To replace one father with another would be an insult to Charlie, but Jasper was a fair compromise. It was also symbolic; he had been the one to take care of her after all.

I shook hands with the minister, and allowed Esme to fuss over me; she straightened my tie and brushed imagined lint from my chest.

"You look so handsome," she gushed. "And Bella… well you'll see soon enough."

Alice and Rosalie came in, and the process of tie straightening and lint brushing was repeated. I don't remember this being such a priority for any of Emmett's weddings, but I suppose our choice of Vegas wedding left them little to fuss over, so they were making the most of what they could.

The music started and everyone took their seats. I stared at the closed door that was all that separated me from my bride. The seconds between the turning of the handle and my first sight of her seemed to last a millennia. Then she was there.

My breath caught in my throat, and I felt sure that if it was possible, tears would have streamed from my eyes. She was beyond beautiful. Her dress was simple, but perfect. The most extravagant part of her appearance was her hair, which I was sure Alice was responsible for.

Her smile was dazzling; judging by Jasper's slightly punch drunk smile, she was putting out an impressive level of happiness, too.

I had to lock my legs in place to stop myself from running to meet her. Thankfully the aisle was short; they had barely started towards me before Jasper was placing her hand in mine. As soon as our fingers met, the rest of the room fell away and it was just us there. Nothing else mattered in that moment but Bella.

The voice of the minister seemed to come from miles away as he welcomed us and began his speech on the meaning of marriage.

Her voice rang out clearly as she recited her vows, but mine shook with emotion.

She dropped her shield so I was able to hear her thoughts, and I focused on allowing her to hear my own. Every word we said aloud was repeated mentally for only us to hear.

 _This_ was our real wedding, her hand in mine, and her voice speaking directly into my mind, binding us together in a way no human ceremony could manage.

When I vowed to love her for as long as we both should live, it was more than words; it was a promise that nothing, and no one, would ever come between us. There would never be cause for either of us to question our love again.

We were pronounced man and wife, and her lips met mine in a kiss that sent desire coursing through me.

We had done it; we were married.

The sounds of the room rushed back at me as we separated. The family called their congratulations, and we were ushered out to make way for the next wedding.

The photographer was a middle-aged balding man that seemed to be having difficulty controlling his lust when faced with four beautiful women. He spent much longer than was appropriate arranging Rosalie into position for the group shot, and only Emmett's knuckle cracking and menacing glare persuaded him to stop and take the actual photo.

Jasper and Bella exchanged an amused look, then Jasper fixed his attention on the irritating man. He dropped his camera and made a run for the bathroom.

"Would someone mind explaining what happened there?" Carlisle asked, staring after the man.

"Jasper just simplified things a little," Bella said happily. "Turns out it is possible to literally scare the crap out of someone."

Emmett roared with laughter. "That was awesome!"

"That was not wise," Carlisle scolded. "You could have done him a serious injury. What if he had a heart condition we didn't know about?"

"You would saved him, been hailed a hero, and got us a refund for the wedding photos," Bella said innocently. "Besides, we've still got his camera. This way we'll get some pictures with faces in them, instead of just Rose's breasts."

He made a supreme effort to control his smile, but when Bella kissed his cheek and smiled innocently he lost the fight.

We posed in groups and alone, Alice relinquishing the camera only when it was her turn to be photographed.

For the last picture I held Bella in my arms bridal style and focused on my happiness, opening my mind to her. _I love you, Mrs. Cullen._

She smiled and kissed me chastely. _Me too._

The photographer was still in the bathroom, so Alice exchanged the memory card for a hundred-dollar bill and dropped the camera off at reception.

"So where we going next?" Emmett asked as we filed out onto the strip.

I would have thought that was obvious; this was our wedding night after all. I was hoping we could skip over the casinos and go straight to our suite, but Bella disagreed.

"I want to be alone just as much as you do," she whispered. "But we've barely had any time with them. If we are going to Isle Esme tomorrow, we should at least spend a couple of hours with them."

"When did you become so responsible?" I asked.

"About the same time you regressed to a lust addled teen. We can go to our suite now and spend time with the family tomorrow, or we can have a couple of hours with them now and the next few weeks completely alone. What sounds more appealing to you?"

"Come on, Edward," Alice whined, evidently eavesdropping on our conversation. "We've barely had a chance to see you."

"Fine," I huffed. "We can go to the casino."

"Yay!" Alice and Bella linked arms and practically skipped along the path.

Oblivious to our discussion, Emmett was weighing the pros and cons of each casino. He and Jasper liked to make a contest of our trips to Vegas, increasing the fun by competing for the biggest profit at the end of the night.

Alice was telling Bella about some of their more lucrative weekends.

"So you and Edward have to watch?" Bella asked, when Alice told how we were forbidden from joining them in their wagers. Though my talent was of little use at the tables, they thought I had an unfair advantage if we teamed up.

"Yep. We can still gamble on our own, though."

 _So you and Alice can watch them play and you know what's happening?_ Bella asked. I nodded. _Awesome!_

Her smile was positively evil as she asked Emmett the rules of their contest.

"So, what does the winner get?" she asked.

"Bragging rights," Emmett said. "You want to join us?"

"Yep, but I want something more than bragging rights when I win. How about we up the ante a little? Losers have to complete a dare of the winners choosing."

Emmett snorted. "Sure, sounds fun. I look forward to making you streak down the strip when I win."

Jasper seemed confused by her enthusiasm, but I understood. My wife was a devilish genius. With our newly discovered mental connection, I could communicate Alice's thoughts to her. She was about to trounce the pair of them.

 _There is something going on here, isn't there?_ Alice asked. _Are you going to tell me what it is?_

"Not yet," I whispered. "You'll see soon enough."

When we got to the casino, Emmett and Jasper pooled their cash to buy Bella's chips as well as their own. They were acting like a pair of indulgent uncles, humoring the overexcited child. I was looking forward to seeing her hand them their collective asses.

Armed with a pile of chips each, Bella, Emmett, and Jasper found a roulette table and settled in to play. As was our custom, Alice began reciting the outcome for each spin.

At first Bella didn't seem to be paying much attention to the game at all. I stood behind her with my arms around her waist, and she seemed more interested in turning my wedding ring than anything.

Seeing her distraction and lack of concern about the stacks of chips she was losing, Emmett and Jasper grew ever more confident, and their bets increased accordingly.

She squeezed my hand to gain my attention. _Ready?_

 _When you are,_ I answered, and began to stream Alice's information to her.

With the next spin, she made back all she had lost, and then began to reap the chips in.

Emmett muttered curses under his breath; the more money he lost, the more colorful they became. Jasper on the other hand was unconcerned by his own losses; he was feeding off of Bella's glee. His thoughts were akin to those I had heard from people under the influence of extreme amounts of alcohol.

Our exploits drew quite a crowd as people came to watch Bella's game. Carlisle and Esme had been content to wander the casino while we played, but suspicious of the crowd they came to join us again.

 _There is something amiss here,_ Carlisle mused. _How is she doing is?_

I shrugged, feigning confusion.

_Well whatever it is, I think it is time it stopped. We are being watched by a few too many people._

He was right. Not only were the other patrons growing curious, the casino staff were, too. Bella noticed their gaze and made a poor bet to throw them off.

There was a unified groan from the crowd as her apparent winning streak came to an end.

 _I think it's time we call it a night,_ I said.

She nodded ruefully. "That's my limit," she said to the disappointed crowd around her.

I helped her gather her winnings, and we slipped away into the crowds.

"Fess up," Emmett demanded. "How the hell did you do that?"

"I'm gifted," she said cryptically.

"Yes," he hissed. "But I don't think your shield gives you an edge at the roulette table."

"You're right, must just be beginners luck. Now if you'll excuse me, there is a marriage that needs consummating.

She kissed his cheek and walked away, leaving him gaping after her.

"That was awesome," she giggled, as we queued at the chip exchange. "Not only did I win us enough for a new car, but Jasper and Emmett owe me a dare, too. Best honeymoon ever!"

"I think there is room for improvement," I whispered. "There's still plenty for us to do."

She grinned. "True. I'll cash our winnings, and you go deal with the family."

"Ten minutes?"

"Make it five," she said with a wicked grin. "Unless you want me to start without you."

I groaned. This woman was going to be the death of me.


	10. The Day After Forever

**Chapter 10 — The Day After Forever**

**Bella POV**

Isle Esme was paradise.

The days were balmy and the nights mild. Even the ocean felt warm to our cool skin. I could have happily laid in the shallows all day. The sensation of the hot sand against my skin and the water lapping against me was relaxing, but Edward was unable to remain still for long periods at a time. He seemed determined that I experience all the island had to offer.

Some evenings we would go over to the mainland and get lost in the crowds of tourists and locals milling on the streets. I loved to listen to the voices chattering around us. Edward was fluent in Portuguese, but I only spoke a few words. It was more interesting to guess at what they were saying. Ordinary conversations seemed so much more exciting to me when the words were a mystery.

Edward enjoyed listening to my thoughts as I imagined conversations centered on love and betrayal, and only occasionally interrupting my daydreams to tell me what was really being said. A particularly impassioned conversation, which I imagined to be about a love triangle, was in fact a debate about a football game.

“Oh well,” I said carelessly. “No one likes love triangles anyway.” 

We had been on the island a month when I broached the subject of returning home. We had been living in a bubble of contentment for months, first with our travels, then the wedding, and now the island. Sooner or later, we would have to return to the real world.

“What would you like to do next?” Edward asked.

This was a subject I had given a great deal of thought. At the time of Jacob’s attack, I was only a few months away from graduating. I was sure that I would have to join the family charade of high school eventually, but I wanted to do it properly. Bella Swan was technically still living. If we could fabricate a recovery, I could transfer my credits from Forks and complete my senior year online.

“You don’t need to do that,” Edward said. “We can forge your diploma and then you can go straight to college.”

“But that would feel like cheating.”

It wasn’t entirely rational. Over the course of my life with the Cullens, I would graduate high school multiple times, but I wanted it to be real. Everything from my last year of high school was spoiled. I had been zombie like with grief for months. With Jacob’s help, I had formed something resembling a life again, then I had been hurt and everything that came after.

I wanted something to show that Bella Swan wasn’t a complete failure before I allowed her to die officially.

“Bella Swan was not a failure,” Edward said softly.

I hadn’t realized I left my shield down as I reasoned with myself, until he spoke.

“Not to you, or people that know the truth,” I agreed. “But if ever anyone was to look at her history there would be nothing to show she was anything other than a girl that lost her parents. I want something to show I lived.”

“I understand. We will make the arrangements when we get home and get you your diploma. Have you considered what comes after?”

“I think something simple, complications from the attack would work. There will be no need for a funeral. We can let Bella Swan die, put a few lines in the newspaper to inform the people outside of the secret, then Bella Cullen can take over.”

“Hmmm, Bella Cullen. No matter how many times I hear that, it still makes me happy.” he said, nuzzling my neck.

“Me too,” I sighed happily. “So are we going to head home?”

“We probably should. There are some people I want you to meet on the way though. We could backpack properly this time. We have a lot of ground to cover.”

“Real backpacking?” I asked excitedly. “No hotels?”

“Not even a car. Once we get out of the city you can be as wild as you like; I won’t even make you wear clothes.”

I laughed. As tempting as it was to be completely wild for a while, I didn’t think we would manage much actual travelling if I was naked.

“I think clothes will be a necessity,” I said piously. “I would like to get home some time before Christmas.” 

He grinned. “I’m sure I can find something to change your mind, there are some impressive waterfalls on the way. “

Ooh, waterfalls…

xXx

It took us a five days to reach the Pantanal wet-lands where Edward’s friends lived and another two to track them down. We would have managed the journey a lot faster had we not been enjoying the landscape quite so much.

We came to an area deep in the wilderness that was steeped in the scent of vampire, but they were nowhere to be seen. Instead of searching for them, we waited for them to come to us. Edward told me there were three of them, and that they were unlike any other vampires I had met. I couldn’t imagine anyone more intimidating that James and his coven, in my memory they were the epitome of the feral. I was wrong.

We had been waiting for hours when Edward smiled enigmatically.

“It is Edward,” he called, in answer to an unheard question. “I have brought my wife to meet you.”

There was the sound of light footsteps approaching, then out of the trees stepped three of the most incredible and unusual people I had ever seen, vampire and human alike.

They were tall, the smallest approaching six foot, and disproportionately long. Their limbs and features were elongated as if they had been stretched. The bright crimson eyes never stilled, they constantly scanned the area, fixing on us for a second then moving on. Everything about them was remarkable, even the animal skins they wore as clothes.

“Bella, I would like you to meet Kachiri, Senna and Zafrina.” He gestured to each of them as he said their name.

They looked at me appraisingly; I felt uncomfortable under their scrutiny, but Edward squeezed my hand reassuringly. 

“You found her,” the tallest of the three, Kachiri, said. “We wondered.”

“She found us,” Edward said. “Almost four months ago.”

Zafrina fixed me with a concentrated stare. “Why don’t you see?” she asked.

“See what?” I had the distinct feeling I was missing something here.

“Zafrina is able to create illusions in your mind,” Edward explained, then addressed Zafrina. “Bella is able to block certain gifts. What are you trying to show her?”

“Your search,” she said cryptically.

“Drop your shield, Love. It’s just an illusion; it can’t hurt you.”

I didn’t feel comfortable leaving myself vulnerable around these wild looking strangers, but Edward apparently trusted them. I lowered the fine layer of my shield that protected my mind, then gasped as an image appeared before my closed eyes. I wondered distractedly if this was how Alice felt when having a vision.

The scenery was almost the same as that surrounding me now, but the light was different. It was later in the day, and instead of the clear light that cast prisms on my skin, dark clouds covered the sky and rain pelted the ground. More disturbing than anything were the people. Jasper and Alice were there.

Their clothes were dirty and torn, they had clearly been living wild for some time. Jasper’s eyes were frantic as he scanned the area around him. Desperately searching for something.

Alice, Kachiri and Senna stood back watching the scene unfold. I realized I was watching from Zafrina’s eyes; this was not a true illusion, but a memory.

Jasper’s words were rapid as he paced in front of them.

“She’s young and she’ll be scared.. She _can’t_ kill a human. It will destroy her. You have to take care of her. _Someone_ has to take care of her. She’s all alone.”

I slammed my shield back in place. Edward had lied, it _could_ hurt me.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, rubbing my arm comfortingly. He must have seen what she’d shown me too and heard my accusing thoughts. “I didn’t know what she would show you.”

I nodded brusquely.

“They are happy to have you back,” Zafrina stated.

“Very happy,” Edward said, still not taking his eyes from me. “I think Bella and I will go to hunt now, will we see you again?”

“We will be here if you return,” Senna said. 

Edward took my hand and we ran back into the cover of the trees. He let me direct our path, and we ran for miles before I brought us to a stop. I sank down to the ground and hid my face in my hands.

He sat beside me and wrapped his arm around my shoulders. “I’m sorry, love. I shouldn’t have told you to drop your shield. I’ve never seen her use her gift like that before, usually she just shows scenes of the jungle. She shouldn’t have shown you that.”

I snorted derisively. “Yeah, I shouldn’t have been forced to see the evidence of my stupidity. I don’t need protecting, Edward. It was my own damn fault I saw that. If I hadn’t run, Jasper wouldn’t have been like that.” I gripped my hair, resisting the urge to tear it out. “And you were even worse.”

“I was worse,” he said softly. “But in contrast, I was also happier when you came back. You made a mistake, so did I. It was my actions that forced you into that position. There is nothing to be gained by apportioning blame. It’s done now. We are together again, and we will be with the family soon.”

“Are they all like that?” I asked. “Will every vampire you met while searching for me have a memory of someone looking like that? Because I don’t think I could bear to face them if they did.”

“No, not all. I think that was worse because it was early into our search. The longer we looked, the easier it became to keep our emotions in check. We also held out more hope for South America because it was where I had been. We thought you might have been drawn here, too.”

I wished I had. Here I could have found others of my kind, and I would have found my way home much sooner. Instead, I sat at the bottom of the ocean like a lunatic. I was a cautionary tale to all vampires; keep your emotions in check or you’ll end up as crazy as Bella. 

“I hate that they all know what I did,” I groaned.

“So do I. With each vampire we met, we had to explain the story of what happened. Every time we had to face their disbelief when they heard how we had abandoned you and how you had evaded us as a newborn. To them what you did was reasonable in comparison.”

I sighed heavily and rested my head against his chest. “What do we do now?”

“Well, we left our bags there. I can collect them and we can go home now, or we could go back together and live wild a little longer. What would you like to do?”

In truth I wanted to go home. I wanted to be with the family, where I felt safe, but Edward had wanted me to meet his friends. I was going to have to face people eventually, better to make a start now.

“Let’s live wild a little longer,” I said with forced enthusiasm.

“Okay then.” He got to his feet and held out a hand to me. “We should hunt while we are here; if you are lucky, we may even find you a mountain lion.”

“You know the way to my heart,” I said, already imagining the taste of the warm spicy blood as it soothed me.

_Always._

xXx

We stayed with Kachiri’s coven for two weeks.

Their way of life was unlike anything I had known, and I could see the attraction. They were utterly wild, never having need to maintain a human charade they were more attuned to the instincts than us. It made for an exciting lifestyle.

Once I had overcome my resentment toward Zafrina for what she forced me to face, I found I liked her. Edward explained that she thought she was doing me a kindness showing their encounter with Jasper and Alice; she wanted me to see how I had been missed. It was a sweet thought, but not something I wanted to experience too often.

She persuaded me to drop my shield again and this time the images she showed me were pleasant. She showed me areas of the jungles she was particularly fond of and the village she had lived in as a human.

She also showed me more memories, the best of which was her first encounter with my family. It was in the forties, before Alice and Jasper joined them. I found it interesting how much they had changed in the years since. Though they were physically unchanging, there were differences, and not just with their clothes – though that was an eye opener.

Rosalie was reserved with all but Emmett. They were in their first decade together, and the love that shone in her eyes when she looked at him changed her whole visage.

Carlisle had the fanatical expression he always had when faced with something new and interesting. I imagined he would have been fascinated with Kachiri’s wild coven. Esme was guarded at first, a feeling I understood; I had felt the same when I first met them.

The differences were most obvious in Edward’s appearance. He was polite and friendly, but his smiles were not the dazzling expressions of happiness that I was used to.

“That’s because I didn’t have you,” he said when I asked him about it. “I was happy with my life and my family, but I knew no better. It wasn’t until you came into my life that I learned what real happiness meant.”

On our last night before leaving, I sat with Kachiri at the top of a tree and watched as Edward questioned Senna and Zafrina about their human lives. I had discovered that Edward was almost as inquisitive as Carlisle. Whereas Carlisle was a glutton for information about anything and everything, Edward was fascinated by personal histories. I wondered if I would ever have discovered this about him had we not travelled.

“You would stay if alone,” Kachiri said.

I was used to their peculiar speech now, though at first it was hard to follow. Their words were concise to the point of obscure. The way they moved around each other made me think that most of their communication was silent.

“Yes,” I said. “If I didn’t have Edward and our family, I would happily live here. I like the freedom you have.”

Their life was unique, and I was sorely tempted to join them. They had complete freedom to do and be whatever they wanted. I missed the family though, and I couldn’t wait to see them again.

“You could.”

“No, I couldn’t. I need them, and they need the human world.”

“You will come back?” she asked.

“Definitely,” I promised.

I slipped from my branch and landed on the balls of my feet beside Edward.

“Ready to go?” I asked.

“Ready when you are.”

We exchanged farewells with Zafrina, Senna and Kachiri, then shouldered our packs and began the trek back to civilization.

xXx

We had timed our departure so we would be able to travel through the streets after dark, but once we got to the airport, we had a long wait before we could get a flight north. We were heading to Vegas first to collect the car, then we would drive the rest of the way home. It was a full day later when we landed at McCarran International.

Edward said he wanted to drive the last leg of the journey because he wanted a few extra days with me, but I suspected it was more because he didn’t want to leave his beloved car behind.

I too was looking forward to having a few extra days of peace together before we were back among the chaos that was our family. I loved them all, but it could sometimes be overwhelming with so many conflicting personalities. I was also worried that we were returning to the constant surveillance that had plagued the weeks after my return, before we went away.

Edward and I had dealt with our issues; he accepted on my bond with Jasper, and we had found the trust we both needed. Our relationship had never been stronger. But while we were doing this, the family were in Alaska, and there was no knowing if they had overcome their own issues. We hadn’t even had a full day with them in Vegas before we left for Isle Esme, and what time we did have was taken by the wedding and celebrations. Jasper was not the only one that had difficulty seeing me as I really was, rather than the girl in the coma.

“What are you thinking?” Edward asked, running his fingers through my hair.

I couldn’t articulate my concerns well, so I opened my mind to him instead and showed him my conflicting thoughts.

“You don’t want to go home?” he asked.

“No, I do. I miss the family, and I’m looking forward to being with them again. It just gets a little claustrophobic sometimes. Does that make sense?”

“It does. They don’t mean to do it, they are just concerned for you. I think—”

His words cut off as his phone started to ring.

“Speak of the devil,” he said with a smile. “Alice must have seen we are on our way.”

He flipped open his phone, but had barely got his greeting out before she spoke. Her voice was frantic, and it froze me with fear. What could have happened to make her sound like this?

“You have to come home!” she demanded. “Now!”


	11. Here Comes The Night

**Jasper POV**

“Look what I’ve got!” Alice sang, waving a thick envelope in the air. “May I present to you the wedding of Mr and Mrs Edward Cullen.”

“You can, but we’ve seen it already,” Emmett said sarcastically.

“So funny,” she said, rolling her eyes. “Let me rephrase then, may I present to you the wedding _album_ of Mr. and Mrs. Edward Cullen.”

“They’re finally here,” Esme said, her eyes dancing with excitement.

There had been a little trouble with the wedding photos. Though Alice had appropriated the memory card from the photographer, when we got to a 1hr processing store we found Edward and Bella’s wasn’t the only wedding on there. Dozens of other happy couples’ wedding photos were stored on the card, and there was no way of knowing how old they were.

A great debate had ensued about whether we should develop them all and drop the ones of strangers off at the chapel again, or to just develop ours and return the memory card. Eventually we didn’t do either.

Esme had a fit of guilty conscience and demanded we return the memory card and ask them to mail the pictures from Edward and Bella’s wedding. Her reasoning was that the photographer could lose his job - which I didn’t particularly care about - or some other happy couple could be without pictures, which made me feel slightly guilty.

Alice tore the envelope open with flourish and passed around a thick sheaf of photos. Smiling out of the glossy prints were Edward and Bella in various poses, some with us positioned around them, some alone.

“Oh look at that,” Esme sighed. “Doesn’t she look pretty.” She was holding up a picture of Bella smiling dazzlingly, holding Carlisle’s arm.

“Oh look at that,” Emmett said, in an eerie imitation of Esme’s voice. “Doesn’t Edward look pretty.”

I snorted. Edward was posed alone in the proffered picture. His gaze was slightly off centre; he was looking at something beside the camera. I was sure from his brilliant smile that it was Bella he was looking at.

I thumbed through the pictures and came to one of Bella and me together. She was smiling widely at the camera while I was looking rather confused. I remembered the set-up. We had been arranged for the picture, but she was snapping her shield over the others in rapid succession, causing a Mexican wave of emotions for me to deal with.

“Someone’s coming,” Rosalie said, drawing my attention from the photograph and back to the room.

We looked up as one as the sound of running footsteps reached us. It wasn’t uncommon for the Denalis’ to visit; Eleazar and Carlisle spent a good deal of time researching and discussing Bella’s shield. Eleazar was disappointed that he had so little time to work with Bella before she left. Despite the fact we had an eternity, he was impatient. It wasn’t Eleazar now, though. It was Kate, and she was terrified. 

I hurried out to meet her, noting her frantic expression and constantly searching gaze.

“Where is Carlisle?” she demanded.

“I’m here. What has happened?”

The evidence of her panic had drawn the rest of the family out to the porch, too.

“We have a visitor at the house. They are looking for you. Volturi.”

Rosalie hissed.

My thoughts immediately turned to Edward and Bella. The last we heard they were in South America, but they could easily have gone to Europe or the Volturi could have been in the area.

“What do they want?” Carlisle asked, his calm tone not completely hiding his fear.

“You. It’s Santiago. He came to Eleazar looking for where to find you.”

“That doesn’t make sense. Why not send Demetri? I have met him before; he could have tracked me himself.”

“Unless he is already busy searching for someone,” I observed.

Esme clapped a hand to her mouth. “Edward and Bella!”

“Exactly,” I said dryly. “He won’t be able to trace Bella, but he can follow Edward. Think of all the nomads we met while searching for Bella, he would be able to pick up Edward’s trail from any of them.”

Emmett growled. His hands clenched into fists at his side.

“We don’t know anything for sure yet,” Carlisle said. “Let’s go and see what Santiago has to say first. I think it would be wise to call Edward and Bella and inform them of what is happening, though.”

“Don’t inform them,” Esme said. “Tell them they have to come home. If Demetri is searching for them, they need to be here, where we can protect them.”

“On it,” Alice said, pulling her phone from her pocket. As soon as the call connected, she told them they needed to return then cut the call.

“You don’t think you should have said something else?” Rosalie asked. “They’re going to be panicking now.”

“It’s worth a little fear if it gets them home sooner,” Esme said.

“Yes, because what Bella needs is a little more fear in her life. Like she hasn’t already been through enough.”

Like me, Rosalie had become extremely protective of Bella. Possibly because we were the ones that were with her from the very beginning. When nobody else believed us, it was the three of us against the family, at least that was how it had felt.

“There is no time to discuss this,” Kate hissed. “Unless you missed it, we have a Volturi guard in our house, and we could really use some help.”

“My apologies,” Carlisle said. “We will of course come and deal with it.”

We set off toward the Denali house, and as we ran, I planned.

I had never met Santiago, but from what I knew he was a ferocious fighter, but not gifted. Between Emmett and I, we could deal with him if needed.

I heard an unfamiliar voice as we approached the house. He and Eleazar were discussing mutual friends like they were at a damn tea party.

I could also feel tremendous fear; Tanya was scared out of her wits.

The Denalis had seen the power of the Volturi before; their maker had been destroyed for the crime of creating an immortal child. Though they accepted the judgment, they had not forgotten how close they came to being destroyed themselves.

Carlisle took a steadying breath then entered the house. “Santiago, it is a pleasure to see you again. It has been far too long.” He sounded like someone greeting an old friend, no hint of our tension in his voice or stance.

“Centuries,” Santiago said, equally as calm.

There was no hint of aggression in his emotions. I relaxed a little; if he was here with hostile intent, he was hiding it remarkably well. Not having the same reassurance as me, the others were still radiating nerves. Emmett was staring at him appraisingly, judging him as an opponent.

“I admit I am surprised to see you here,” Carlisle said. “I would have thought Demetri would have been a more suitable means of contacting me.”

“That is true, but he is otherwise engaged at the moment.”

Esme whimpered quietly.

“There has been a resurgence in the Children of the Moon population recently. Caius required his assistance to find and deal with them. I was not required so Aro asked me to come to Eleazar to seek news of you. I didn’t expect you to be living so close, don’t you usually live closer to the humans.”

“We do, but we are taking some time away from our usual occupations to spend time as a family.”

“Yes, a family,” he said thoughtfully. “That is, in fact, why I was sent. I understand your coven has grown recently.”

I stiffened. He _was_ here for Bella.

Alice squeezed my hand gently, drawing my attention to her. I inhaled deeply, using her scent to calm myself.

“You’re quite right. My first son has found his mate,” Carlisle said amicably. “As a matter of fact, they are away on their honeymoon at the moment. It is a shame you missed them.”

“From what I understand it is a little more complicated than that,” he said. “Did he not meet her as a human and make her aware of our nature?” He seemed merely interested, and his emotions showed no contradiction. I was more confused than ever now.

“He did, but she was never a risk to the secret. Bella never divulged our true nature to anyone and has now been changed, too.”

“So I have heard, but is it not also true that upon her awakening, she ran, and was alone among humans for two years? That is dangerous practice for a newborn. I expected you to take more care than that, Carlisle.”

“Again, you are quite right. But Bella showed remarkable restraint for a newborn and has never deviated from our chosen diet. It was unfortunate that she was alone, but she posed no risk.” He had lost his friendly tone now and sounded a little angry.

“Calm yourself, Carlisle. I am not here to upset your family. I have merely been sent with an invitation. Your new coven member has caused quite a stir among our kind, or more specifically, your search for her has. Aro wishes me to extend an invitation for her to come to Volterra and meet him in person. He is curious about her, and you know how he enjoys his curiosities.”

“I do indeed. As I said, she and Edward are away at the moment, but I will certainly pass on the invitation when I speak with them next.”

It wasn’t an invitation. It was a summons and we all knew it. There was no way Bella was going into that place; she was gifted, according to Eleazar far beyond what we had already seen. Aro would want her for his guard.

“If you have means of contacting them, I would make pass it along sooner rather than later. Aro is not known for his patience, and he really is eager to meet her. If she is uncomfortable travelling to us, I am sure he would be happy to come to you here.”

 _Now_ there was hostility. He was not accustomed to being refused and clearly feared the reprisals if he was to return to his master and found not to have made the message clear enough.

“As I said, I will inform them as soon as I can,” Carlisle said. “May I wish you a safe journey home.”

His lips twitched into a smile. “It was a pleasure to see you again, Carlisle. I am sure Aro will enjoy my memories of our meeting. He often speaks of you.”

“Please pass on my regards.”

Santiago nodded politely and thanked Tanya for her hospitality then left.

We watched as he ran back toward town. I wondered if he was planning to feed while here, then pushed that thought aside and focused on the infinitely more pressing problem of how to keep Bella out of Volterra.

“Well now what?” Emmett demanded. “I don’t care what that crusty old bastard wants, Bella isn’t going anywhere near Volterra.”

“I don’t know,” Carlisle said, falling into a chair and raking a hand over his face. “We cannot refuse him, no matter how politely worded it was, it was not a request.”

“You can’t seriously be thinking of allowing her to go there?” Rosalie asked, her eyes wide with shock. “Carlisle, she’s gifted. They won’t let her leave.”

“They are not the monsters you think,” he said. Tanya snorted in response. “I don’t want Bella to go there any more than you do, but she is in no danger from them. I myself lived with them for many years and had no difficulty when I chose to leave.”

“No offence,” Tanya said. “But you aren’t a hot ticket gift wise. Bella on the other hand…”

“Would be the golden goose,” I finished for her.

This was all so fucked up. If we let her go there, there was a good chance she may not be able to leave. Regardless of what Carlisle said the temptation of her gift would be too great. If we refused, Aro would come to her here. And if we told her what had happened, she would be on a flight to Italy before you could say ‘ridiculously selfless’.

“Can you see them now, Alice?” Esme asked. “Are they coming home?”

Her animated expression faded as she searched for their future. “Yes, they are on their way home now. They are getting a flight and… oh!”

“Oh what?” Rosalie hissed. “Oh, they’ve bumped into a guard and are on their way to Volterra, or oh, they got me a great souvenir? We need details, Alice!”

She rolled her eyes. “No, they haven’t met a guard. They are getting a flight to Anchorage, but they are pissed. Well Bella is, Edward is trying to calm her down.”

“Well what did you expect?” Rosalie asked, folding her arms across her chest. “You called them to say they have to come home and hung up. I bet you even turned your phone off, too. I told you she didn’t need to be scared.”

Alice pulled her phone out and stared ruefully at the blank screen. “Oops.”

She switched it on, and it began beeping with waiting voicemails. She dialed the number to collect the messages and held the phone out so we could all hear clearly.

“Alice Cullen, answer your damn phone,” Bella’s voice came though the tinny speaker. Even though the situation was so dire, I couldn’t help but smile at the sound. “You can’t just demand we come home and hang up! What’s happened?”

There was a beep as the message cut off, and Edward’s voice came next. “If you could call us back, I would be grateful. I don’t know what has happened, but we are waiting for a flight now.” His voice lowered to a whisper. “Bella is not happy, Alice.”

Not happy was an understatement, as illustrated by the next message. “If I don’t get some answers soon, the first thing I am going to do when I get home is build a big ass bonfire and use your clothes for kindling.”

Another beep and Edward’s voice came again. “I am sure there is a good reason you are calling us home - and have turned your phone off - but we really are anxious now. Please call us and let us know what has happened.” Bella’s voice cut across him. “I’m not anxious, I’m pissed. I am going to kick her sparkly ass–”

I think Edward cut the call himself that time.

“I don’t think we need to hear anymore,” Carlisle said. “They are on their way home now, and when they get here, we can discuss this as a family and decide what to do.”

“Probably a good idea,” Alice said sadly. “She loses her verbal filter completely in the next message and cusses me out.”

Emmett laughed. “As much as it sucks that we have the Volturi on our asses, I gotta admit I’m looking forward to seeing them again. And not only because she promised me awesome souvenirs.”

I smiled, too. I couldn’t help it. She was coming home.

xXx

**Edward POV**

I watched the runway racing towards us and sighed with relief; we were nearly there. 

As soon as Alice called, we got tickets for the first flight back to Alaska. After Bella’s voice mail marathon - in which she made some colorful and imaginative threats to Alice - we discussed possible reasons for them to call us home. Eventually I saw the strain it was having on Bella to dwell on the subject, so we agreed to hold off on the theories until we could speak to the family again.

And then something happened.

Bella was curled into my side while I shared images of our travels through our mental connection. I was hoping it would help her relax, but she stiffened suddenly, then pulled away from me. Her shield snapped into place, both mental and physical. The physical shield held me away from her, only by a few millimeters, but she had never used it like this with me before.

She refused all questions about what had happened; my thoughts were blocked by the shield, so my mental pleas went unheard too. She dropped the physical shield after a few minutes, but remained almost completely silent through the flight. The only time she spoke was to check the time and to deal with an overly familiar air hostess.

“I know what you’re thinking, he’s far too pretty to be straight,” she said with a smile that was closer to a sneer. “You’re right, I’m his beard. Now leave us alone.”

It deterred the stewardess from pursuing me, but not her male colleague. I spent the flight trying to ignore his graphic thoughts and trying to reassure Bella, all to no avail. She was beyond my comfort. She sat with arms around her legs and her chin resting on her knees, radiating nerves.

I sincerely hoped Alice had a good reason for calling us back. I was not worried about our time being interrupted. We were on our way home anyway, but if she had caused Bella this anxiety for nothing, I was going to be very displeased.

“Are you okay, love?” I asked.

She shook her head mutely.

“We’re nearly home now. We’ll be with them soon, and we can find out what is happening. Whatever it is, I am sure it’s not as bad as you are thinking.”

She lifted her head to look at me. “When did you become so optimistic?”

I smiled. “When I realized nothing that could happen now could be any worse than what we have already lived through.”

I hoped my words would at least make her smile, but she just shrugged.

The seatbelt light switched off and people around us began gathering their belongings. I pulled our bags from the overhead locker and slung them over my shoulder. She wrapped an arm around my waist and hid her face against my chest inhaling deeply. I ran my fingers through her hair, humming her lullaby quietly, trying to soothe her while we waited for the humans to clear the aisle.

“It will be okay,” I whispered.

She didn’t answer, but clung to me a little tighter.

We were able to make our way through security quickly as we had no luggage other than our carry-on bags. Everything else had been stowed in the SUV and left in the hotel parking lot. When we got to the main lobby, I searched for a familiar scent or mental voice. I had thought one of the family would have been there to meet us, but I couldn’t find anyone.

Bella searched through her pockets and pulled out her cell phone. I had forgotten to switch mine on when we got off the plane. Switching it on, I found I had a text message from Alice waiting.

**We are all okay. Have arranged a hire car for you. You should hunt on your way back. A x**

I suspected Alice had suggested we hunt to buy herself a little time before dealing with Bella’s wrath. It was a pointless gesture now. The woman standing beside me looked anything but angry. She looked defeated.

I showed her the message and she shrugged. “I’m not overly thirsty, but we can hunt if you need to.”

“No, I’m fine.”

We collected the keys and found the car Alice had arranged for us. It was an inferior model of the SUV we had left in Vegas.

I hoped the sight of it might draw a smile from Bella, but she just climbed into the passenger seat and curled into the same position she had been on the plane.

Since her return, I had never seen her anything but strong. Even when she was howling her grief to the skies, she was strong, as she was allowing herself to feel the pain of her parents’ loss. It had taken me over ninety years to face my parents’ grave, and even then, it was only her presence that made it possible. Now she wasn’t strong, she was raw and vulnerable, and it scared me.

I had a better understanding of how she and Jasper had developed the bond they shared now. He had seen her like this every day for months. No wonder he didn’t want to let her leave with me. I couldn’t have borne it either. I owed him a great debt.

I slid into the seat beside her and pushed a strand of hair behind her ear. “It’s going to be okay, love. Whatever is happening, we’ll deal with it.”

She smiled weakly. “I know.”

Holding her hand across the console, I started the car and pulled out onto the road, heading home.


	12. The Sky Fell Down

**Jasper POV**

Alice’s emotions grew ever more frustrated as she searched for Bella and Edward’s future.

“She blocking you again?” I guessed.

“Yes,” she huffed.

We were sitting on one of the overstuffed armchairs in the lounge. We had been sharing a book, taking it in turns to read aloud, but had quickly tired of it. The closer we got to Bella and Edward’s return, the more impatient we both became.

Alice had organized a hire car for them, explaining they would want a little more time together before facing the whole family. I was sure that was part of the reason, but I suspected she also wanted to allow Bella a little more time to calm down before she faced her. Though she assured me that they were both fine – and that Bella didn’t look angry when they arrived in Anchorage – I wouldn’t relax completely until they were home.

We had worried that they might meet with Santiago on their way home, but Alice had seen him heading to a private airport directly after leaving us.

The panic following his visit had lessened somewhat, and a determined calm had taken over. There was no immediate danger. Aro wanted to meet Bella. That was understandable; our search had made her a recognizable figure amongst our kind. We just had to find a way to keep him oblivious to her talent. We had halted further discussion about our next step until Edward and Bella were here, too.

I heard the distant rumble of an engine and jumped to my feet. As one, we all ran to the porch to wait for them. As the sound of the engine grew louder, the anticipation I was both feeling, and sensing, increased. It had only been two months since we saw them in Vegas, but it felt so much longer.

The car came into view, and Emmett lost the little self control he had. With a roar of laughter, he ran forward and yanked Bella’s door open. There was a screeching sound as Edward slammed on the breaks and Emmett pulled Bella from the car and into his bearlike embrace.

“I missed you. Did you get me something good? Can we wrestle?” His words were garbled in his excitement.

“I missed you too Em,” she said softly.

He set her on her feet and looked at her in confusion. He was expecting a more enthusiastic reunion and her quiet somberness caught him off guard.

Her emotions were blocked, but I did not need my gift to know something was very wrong; she looked tired, stressed, and miserable.

She greeted the rest of the family, waved a hello to me and then walked inside the house, leaving the rest of us staring after her.

 _What has happened to her?_ I asked Edward.

He shook off my question, and I was sure those of the others too, and followed her into the house. When the rest of us joined them, they were sitting on the couch together. Bella was curled into a ball; Edward had an arm around her shoulder and his hand was entwined with hers against her leg.

“What happened?” Edward asked.

“We had a visitor while you were gone. Santiago, one of the Volturi guard members, came to see us,” Carlisle explained.

Edward hissed, evidently seeing Carlisle’s memories of the meeting. “There is no way,” he stated harshly. “Absolutely not.”

“Naturally none of us want it, but I don’t see how it can be avoided,” Carlisle said. “If we don’t go to them, they will come to us.”

The anxiety and curiosity that had been flooding the room suddenly vanished as Bella snapped down her shield.

“I know you all know what’s going on, but do you mind sharing with me?” she said irritably.

“Aro wants to meet you,” Edward explained. “While we were searching for you, we met a lot of vampires. One of them must have come into contact with Aro and he learned of your existence.”

“Why would they tell him?” she asked, her brow furrowed in confusion.

“They probably didn’t tell him; Aro is able to read thoughts,” Carlisle explained. “Unlike Edward, he needs physical contact to make it work, but he sees every thought someone has ever had. It is an incredibly potent gift.”

“So he met someone that knew about me, and now he wants to meet me,” she said. “I don’t see the problem.”

“The problem is the guard,” Edward said. “He likes to collect gifted vampires to join him, and–”

“And you think he’d want me because of the shield,” she finished for him.

Edward nodded. “Yes. He doesn’t know you are gifted yet, at least we don’t think he does, but he would only need to read any one of us and he would know. He would want you, especially if he knew the latest developments.”

Carlisle leaned forward, his eyes alight with curiosity. “What developments?”

Edward opened his mouth to answer, but Bella cut him off with a glare. “Not now.”

He nodded somberly and wrapped his arm around her a little tighter.

“Tell me exactly what this Santiago said.”

Carlisle told her of Kate’s arrival and our subsequent meeting at the Denali house. She listened carefully too, absorbing it all, questioning him about each of the guard he had met and their gifts. I tuned out their voices and concentrated on trying to communicate with her. I knew she could feel me trying, but she didn’t lift her shield.

“It wouldn’t be just me,” she said, when Carlisle finished. “He’d want Edward and Alice, too. I imagine a psychic and a mind-reader would be pretty tempting, not to mention Jasper and Rosalie.”

I pulled Alice into my side. There was no way she was going anywhere near that place.

She patted my hand gently. “I’m fine.”

“Rosie isn’t going anywhere,” Emmett growled with uncharacteristic ferocity.

“I don’t want any of us to go, but what else can we do?” Carlisle asked.

The calm conversation quickly became chaos as each of us argued the points for and against going to Volterra. Bella had evidently lifted her shield as I was now assaulted by the emotions accompanying the argument.

I didn’t care what they said. Alice going wasn’t to Volterra, nor was Bella. If it meant we would have to leave the family to protect them, so be it. Edward locked eyes with me and nodded, clearly reading my thoughts and agreeing.

“Enough!” Bella shouted, silencing the room.

She got to her feet and began pacing. I had noticed this was something she did when feeling anxious. I supposed after being frozen for months in the coma, and then sitting at the bottom on the ocean for two years, she felt better if able to work off some of the tension.

“We aren’t going to Volterra, and Aro isn’t coming here,” she said after a minute of pacing.

“Thank you, Bella” Esme said gratefully. “It’s not safe, we need to–”

Bella cut across her. “ _We_ aren’t going to Volterra, _I_ am.”

There was another explosion of noise as we all shouted objections. She sank back into the chair and raked her hands across her face. Edward wrapped an arm around her shoulder again and pulled her close. She seemed to shrink into him, her expression grave. It was unnerving; the situation was serious, but I felt sure there was something more than the Volturi threat upsetting her.

Carlisle was looking at her, too. His brow was furrowed, and his concern almost overwhelming. “Please explain what you are thinking,” he said.

Though his tone was soft, it cut through the chaos of the room. We fell silent and waited for her to speak.

“If his gift works the same way Edward’s does, he will not be able to read my mind. If anyone else goes, he will see it all. I will go and meet him, as he has requested, and he’ll be none the wiser about the exact nature of my gift. It’s the only way that makes sense.”

Carlisle nodded thoughtfully. “That is true, but the fact he can’t read your memories will make him curious. What if he does want you to join the guard?”

“I politely decline, and if that doesn’t work, I run. I can shield myself. It’ll be easier for me to get away if I only have to protect myself.”

“We’re not actually considering this are we?” Esme said. “Bella, I understand your desire to protect us, but there is no way we are letting you go into Volterra alone and unprotected.”

“Then it’s a good thing I’m not asking permission, isn’t it?”

Esme flinched as if she had been slapped. This was not the happy, malleable, Bella she was used to.

Edward was frowning; I knew he was searching for an alternative. I was doing the same. No matter how I approached it, I came up against the same problem; Bella was just too powerful. We had all seen her demonstrate the control she already had, and the ‘new developments’ Edward had mentioned made it sound like there was still more to come. If Aro read any of our thoughts, he would covet her even more.

I felt Edward’s resignation as he followed my thoughts and came to the same conclusion.

“I don’t like this,” he murmured.

“Neither do I,” she said, leaning into him, “but I don’t think there is any other way. I _can_ protect myself.”

“You don’t have to protect yourself at all!” Esme said. “We will find another way to deal with this. You aren’t going to Volterra.”

Bella didn’t answer, but looked at Edward. A moment of silent communication passed between them, then she got to her feet and walked out of the house.

“What the hell!” Emmett blurted. “Where’s she going?”

“To see Eleazar,” Edward said tiredly, staring at the door she had just left from.

Rosalie scowled at him. “And you aren’t going after her?”

“No. She asked me not to; she wants to talk to him alone.”

“What’s happened to her? She seems so…” I struggled to find the word.

“Broken,” Rosalie finished for me. “She was so happy when we saw you in Vegas. Has she been like this the whole time?”

“No,” Edward said. “Things were going so well; we were happy. She was a hesitant about coming home, but she was looking forward to seeing you all. When we got Alice’s call, she was worried. Then, as I’m sure you gathered from the voicemails, she was angry that you weren’t answering your phone. It wasn’t until we were on the plane that she changed.”

“Something else happened,” Carlisle stated. “Something more that her worry at Alice’s phone call.”

“Yes, but I don’t know what!” Edward raked his hands through his hair. “One minute she was fine, the next she shut down. I couldn’t even touch her. She’s never used the physical shield to hold me away like that. She’s been like this ever since.”

I felt a thrill of fear. It reminded me of the way she had been after she heard of Renee’s death. Silent and detached. If she stopped talking again, I was sure I would lose my mind.

“Has she been talking to you?” Edward asked, pulling me from my thoughts.

I shook my head. “I tried, but she was shielding herself. You want me to try again?”

“Please. I don’t understand what’s happened, and I don’t know how to help her.”

Any reservations I had about his new tolerance of Bella’s and my bond were swept away with that. He was looking to me for help, rather than trying to take it all on himself.

“We need to use this time to plan,” Esme said sternly. “She could be back any minute, and we need to find a way to show her that she doesn’t have to go to Volterra.”

“How do we know she hasn’t already?” Emmett asked. “This is Bella after all. She could be hopping a flight to Italy right now.”

Rosalie clapped a hand to her mouth. “She wouldn’t do that, would she?”

“No, she wouldn’t,” Edward said. “She wouldn’t do that to any of us.”

“Have you forgotten what happened last time she thought she was protecting us?” Esme asked. “She pinned us to the wall and we didn’t see her again for two years.”

I flinched at the memory.

“Which is why I know she wouldn’t do it again,” he said calmly. “She has seen the evidence of that choice. We visited the Amazon coven recently, and Zafrina used her talent to show Bella some of our search. There is no way she would risk that again.”

Alice and I had searched South America; by the time we got to the Amazons, we were growing desperate. I may even have been a little unhinged by that point.

“Exactly,” Edward said cryptically, locking eyes with me. “She saw that and was very upset.”

I felt bad that she had seen me looking so unraveled, but if it stopped her running off again, it was worth it.

“She’s coming back,” Alice said. “I can’t see her or Eleazar at the moment, but I see myself packing a bag for her this evening. She obviously set in her decision.”

“We’ll just have to un-set her,” Esme said, glaring at us each in turn, daring us to argue.

Carlisle was apparently braver than the rest of us, as he alone spoke up.

“Do we though? I don’t want Bella to go alone anymore than you do, but it may be the only way. If anyone else goes, Aro will see just how much he could gain by having her in his guard. I don’t believe he would try to force her to stay, but if he did, she is the most able to protect herself. She would be more at risk if she was forced to protect us all.”

“We could go with her, and she could shield us from him,” Rosalie suggested. “If he can’t see our memories, he won’t–”

Edward cut across her. “He will realize that one of us is powerful enough to shield our group,” he said. “He knows Carlisle does not have the ability as they have met before. Any number of nomads will know about Alice, Jasper, and I being gifted; we’ve never made any attempt to hide it when we’ve met others. The only other options are you, Emmett, Esme, and Bella.”

“And Bella is the obvious choice,” I groaned. “She’s young, and the power practically radiates from her when she is shielding.”

I hated this. I didn’t want her to go there alone, but if anyone went with her she would be more at risk. This was all so screwed up.

“I can’t believe you are supporting this insanity,” Esme said harshly, glaring at Edward. “She is your mate. How can you possibly let her do this?”

His anger surged. He had been fighting to control himself since Esme’s last declaration. That, coupled with whatever he was hearing in our thoughts, had finally driven him past his limit.

“I’m not _letting_ her do anything. She is my mate, not my pet; she can decide these things for herself. I can advise against, even beg, but I cannot force her to do anything.”

“But she’s not strong enough to be on her own,” Esme said desperately. It hasn’t been long enough. She’s still young.”

“You’re not seeing her for who she really is,” Edward said, getting to his feet and pacing. “I understand that you had months of seeing her sick and powerless, but she isn’t anymore. She is a vampire with more strength than any of us. She was faced with humans within hours of her change, and didn’t hunt them, a feat none of us managed. She is gifted beyond what you already know. And she is doing this to protect us all! She is not a wayward child that needs monitoring. You have to stop treating her like one!”

There was a stunned silence following his words.

Esme was reeling with shock. Edward had never spoken to any of us like this, especially not her. It was her deferential treatment of him that had earned him the moniker of ‘Golden Boy.’ Now she was faced with his anger, and she had no defense.

“I’m sorry for upsetting you,” he said. “But these things needed to be said. Now if you’ll excuse me, I am going to wait for Bella.”

We watched as he walked to the door, then ran out onto the wilderness.

“Wow,” Emmett mouthed. “I didn’t know he had it in him.”

“He meant every word,” I said carefully, gauging their reaction. “And he wasn’t wrong. We have all been thinking of Bella as weak and needing our protection since she came back. It would have driven any of us crazy.”

“But what do we do now?” Esme asked plaintively.

“We support them,” Carlisle said. “If Bella does go to Italy, Edward is going to be frantic. We do what we can to help him, and when she comes home, we give her the space she needs.”

“Do you think that’s what is wrong with Bella?” Alice asked. “Why she was so strange when they got home. Did we do that to her?”

I shook my head. “No, I am certain there is more to it than what Edward said. Something happened to her on the way home, I just don’t know what.”

My mind kept returning to the way she had looked and felt. It reminded me so strongly me of the days of silence following Renee’s death.


	13. There But For You Go I

**Bella POV**

I couldn’t stand it a moment longer.

They were all staring at me, pinning me with their eyes; I felt like I was being suffocated. I had to get away.

I ran through the park towards Tanya’s house, inhaling deep lungfuls of clean air and trying to control my rising panic.

When I arrived, Tanya was waiting at the door for me. 

“Hey, Bella,” she greeted. “I didn’t know you were back yet. How was the honeymoon?”

“Just got home, it was great. Is Eleazar here?” I asked hurriedly.

“Yeah, he’s in the study. Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” I said distractedly, racing up the stairs. Eleazar was just coming out into the hall when I reached the upper landing.

“What has happened?” he asked.

“Can we talk? In private?” My voice was close to pleading.

He nodded. “Shall we go for a walk?”

“Yeah, great.”

I ran down the stairs, waving hello to a confused looking Kate, and back outside. The open air made me feel a little less claustrophobic.

I heard Eleazar and Tanya talking in low voices. She was asking what had happened. I left them to their conversation and began running again. Eleazar would be able to follow my scent easily enough.

I ran until I reached Chelatna Lake, then I came to a stop and sank down onto a log. Resting my head in my hands, I took deep calming breaths. I heard Eleazar approaching and tried to marshal my expression into something a little less manic. I was having trouble hiding my emotions now that I was away from the family.

“I think there is something wrong with my shield,” I blurted.

His brow furrowed in confusion. “I don’t understand. Is it not working?”

“It’s working, but I think it’s working too well, or malfunctioning, or… dammit, I don’t know!” I gripped my hair at the roots.

He pulled my hands down to my side. “If you pull it out, it won’t grow back.”

A startled laugh burst from me and he smiled.

“Calm down and tell me exactly what’s wrong.”

“How much do you about my last months as a human?” I asked.

“I know you were injured by a werewolf and were in a coma for a long time. That you found a way to communicate with Jasper through your emotions. Carlisle and I have discussed this recently. It is our belief that it was your shield that enabled you to send and block emotions with such precision.”

I snorted. “Yeah, that was real helpful.”

“I don’t understand.”

“When I would speak to Jasper, it wore me out. I had to rest, and to do that I had to go into what he called the void. It was darkness, no sight, no sound, a complete lack of sensory input; it felt like I ceased to exist. It would pull me in. I could hold it back sometimes. It grew easier with practice, but I still couldn’t stop it all the time.”

“That sounds unpleasant,” he said sympathetically. “But I don’t understand what that has to do with your shield.”

“I think it _was_ the shield,” I said emphatically. “All of it, the coma, the void. I think it was my body’s way of protecting me from the pain. I think it locked down until I was able to deal with it.”

“That is an interesting theory, and quite likely correct. I don’t understand why you are so upset now, though. You were human then, and, forgive me for saying it, weak. You are strong now, quite probably the strongest of us all. Your shield is developing so fast, you… Bella?”

I lost the tenuous grip I had on my emotions and began to sob. He wrapped a tentative arm around my shoulders and murmured soothing words.

“I felt it,” I choked. “I felt the void. We were on the plane, and I was trying to work out what could have happened for them to call us back; and I got scared. I _felt_ it. It was only for a few seconds, but it took so much to hold it away.”

“You think it was the shield trying to protect you again?” he asked. I had expected to hear skepticism in his tone, but there was just concern. 

“Protecting me, or malfunctioning. I don’t know.”

“It cannot malfunction,” he said. “It is not a machine that can break and need repair. It is a part of you, an extension of self. Do you know how gifts develop in vampires?”

“I know Carlisle believes it is something to do with our human life; we bring our strongest trait into the change and it is enhanced.”

“That is sometimes how it works, other times it is a particularly violent change. Rosalie’s gift for example. I don’t understand why I have never seen it before, but I believe the way her human life ended translated into a desire to never be powerless again.”

“But I was still human when my shield developed,” I said, confused.

“Which means _you_ are something different. Your gift was part of you as a human, much more developed than any I have heard of before. If you are correct, and your coma was in fact your body’s way of protecting you from things you weren’t ready to face, it stands to reason that the protective instinct would have been enhanced by the change, too.”

“What the hell use is that?” I demanded. “How can it be protecting me if it turns me into a vegetable? How can I protect them?”

His eyes widened. “Oh, I see. It was not fear for yourself, it was fear for your family’s safety. That makes sense; your shield would of course try to protect you from that pain.”

“I ask again, what is the use in that? If I can’t protect them, I will be scared; and if I get scared, it makes me useless.”

It was a vicious circle, however I looked at it, I was going to fail them somehow. What was the good in being so damn gifted if it left the people I loved vulnerable?

“I do not believe it will have the power to freeze you as completely as it did as a human. It may still serve a purpose. You said it was only for a few seconds, perhaps that was all you needed to marshal control and adapt to the situation.”

“You don’t think it can make me a vegetable again?” I asked hopefully.

“I am certain of it. You are a vampire. It is impossible for you to lose consciousness. Our kind typically responds to overwhelming stress with stillness; your shield just enhances that reaction. I should like to experiment with it. If we can recreate the situation of fear, we can see what exactly happens.”

His eyes were alight with curiosity. He looked a lot like Carlisle had when questioning me about my control the day I returned. I couldn’t help but smile.

“We can experiment when I get back,” I assured him. “They can’t know about this until then. They’d never let me go if they knew.”

“Get back?” he asked, then sighed heavily. “You’re going to Volterra.”

“I am. It’s the only way we can avoid them coming here, and if they come here…”

“They will see it all,” he finished for me. “You are hoping to keep the other’s gifts from Aro’s attention.”

“That’s the plan. Should we be scared? Is this Aro going to want us?”

“He will likely want you, but I don’t believe he would force you to stay. I was allowed to leave, and my gift was very useful to them. You are wise to minimize the knowledge he can obtain, though, especially that of your wolf friends. Some of the guard are abroad at the moment, hunting werewolves.”

“The pack!” I gasped, jumping to my feet. “Are they okay? Has anyone warned them?”

“They are not in immediate danger,” he said calmly. “The guard that visited was an old friend, though I use the term loosely. He said the wolves they are tracking at the moment are in Russia and are genuine Children of the Moon.”

“Children of the what?”

“Children of the Moon. Your friends in Washington are not true werewolves. They are shape-shifters. Children of the Moon are the wolves of legend. Their transformation is connected to the phases of the moon, and they can only breed by infecting another human with their bite. The Volturi hunted them to almost extinction, but apparently there has been a revival in the population.”

“But you think Aro would be curious about the pack?”

“Curious yes, but that is all. The fact they are rational when in their wolf form should alleviate his concerns for the threat they pose. It would be better to keep his knowledge to a minimum, though.” 

I rolled my eyes. That was obvious. I was hardly going to stroll up to the evil vampire overlords shouting, ‘Hey, my friends are werewolves, let me introduce you.’

Now the immediate fear of my screwed up shield had abated, I was able to focus on what I had to do next. I was going to Volterra. If need be, I would pin the family to a wall again while I left. It worked well last time.

I was fairly sure Edward understood why it had to be me that went. He didn’t like it, but he wouldn’t try to stop me either. Carlisle was the same. Esme was going to be the biggest hurdle. She was overprotective to the extreme, which I understood, but she had to be made to see this was the safest option.

“You _cannot_ tell them about the void,” I said fervently. “If they know, if _Edward_ knows, he will come after me, and then we will all be in trouble.”

“I won’t tell them, but your husband is a mind reader. I am not as practiced at keeping him from my thoughts as the others.”

“Bedroom antics are effective,” I said. “Failing that, avoid him. Go on a hunting trip, hide in a lake. I don’t care how you do it, just make sure he doesn’t know.”

He nodded. “I will do all I can.”

That wasn’t exactly what I wanted to hear, but it would have to suffice. I had more to discuss before I went back, and the longer I was gone, the more they would worry.

“Tell me about the Volturi,” I said. “I need to know everything I can if I am going to do this.”

xXx

Two hours later, I left Eleazar at his house and continued on my way home.

As I walked, I mulled over all he had told me about his former coven. Their strengths and gifts, and the power structure. Who to watch out for – some unholy witch called Jane – and who I could rely on to be at least civil – someone called Demetri. The most important thing, he said, was to be gracious when speaking with the three ancients, and to never, under any circumstances, reveal my true nature within the city walls. According to him, they were not tolerant of exposure in any situation, but within their city, it would earn me a swift punishment.

I ambled along at a leisurely pace, in no rush to get back to the noise and drama of the house, until I caught Edward’s scent. Suddenly, I wanted nothing more than to be in his arms. I wanted to hide my face against his chest and ignore everything else.

I raced towards him, not slowing when I saw him waiting for me; I threw myself into his arms and clung to him.

“It’s okay, love,” he soothed, running his hands through my hair. “We’re okay.”

“I’m sorry I left you to deal with all that,” I said. “But I had to get away; it was too much.”

“You have nothing to apologize for. After you left, we had a rather frank discussion, and I think things may be easier for us both now.”

I pulled back to look at him. “What do you mean by ‘frank discussion’?”

“I merely pointed out that you were capable of making your own decisions, and did not need them dictating to you.”

My heart clenched. I could imagine the direction that conversation had taken, and the emotional reactions it would have caused. I couldn’t be angry, though. He had done what I had been preparing myself to do. It would make things easier for me to go to Volterra now, and was an infinitely better way to deal with it than my plan to pin them all to the wall again.

“Are you okay now, love?” he asked. “You seem better than you were before. Do you want to talk about what had you so upset?”

I bit my lip. I couldn’t tell him about the feeling of the void creeping in, but nor did I want to lie to him. If he forced the issue, I would have to have some explanation; and I didn’t think he was going to accept it was just concern, following Alice’s phone call that made me act so strangely. A part of me was grateful that it was Edward there when it had happened, and not Jasper; he might have recognized the emotional signature of it. 

“I am better, but I don’t want to talk about it yet, okay?”

He gave me a searching look, and then nodded. “Can you tell me if it is something I need to be worried about, though?”

“You don’t need to worry,” I assured him. It wasn’t a lie, according to Eleazar there was no real concern. “Once we have this thing with Aro dealt with, we can sit down and talk about it together.”

“Are you decided, then?” he asked.

There was no surprise in his face when I answered, which told me he already knew.

“I am. Unless someone has a better alternative, I am planning to head out on the next flight. Better to get it over and done with. Eleazar has told me all he could about them, so I don’t think I can be much better prepared than I already am.”

“I hate that this is happening,” he said miserably. “I hate that you are going there alone.”

“I know, so do I,” I said, smoothing his furrowed brow. “But the sooner I leave, the sooner I’ll be home.”

He sighed heavily, then took my hand and we walked back to the house together.

“How bad is it?” I whispered when we were almost home.

“Not too bad. Esme is upset, but Carlisle is helping her. Jasper is worried, but he’ll be okay once he has spoken to you.”

It was much better than I was expecting. I had tried to prepare myself for another onslaught of shouting and anxiety; it was a huge relief to find I was wrong.

Their faces were taut with expectation when we got inside. I could see the questions they all wanted to ask in their eyes, but I got my own in first.

“Has anyone called the pack?” I asked.

Blank confusion was their only response, even Edward looked baffled.

“Werewolves,” I said impatiently. “Eleazar said the guard is out tracking Children of the Moon; shouldn’t we warn the pack to take extra care?”

“Oh, I didn’t think of that,” Carlisle said ruefully.

Well that was obvious.

“Would you like to call them?” Edward asked. “You could speak to Emily, too.”

“Nice try, Mr. Cullen,” I said lightly. “You can deal with the pissy werewolf; I need to get a bag together.”

Alice jumped to her feet. “Would you like some help?”

I opened my mouth to answer, but Esme cut across me. “Are you really going to do this?”

Jasper gave her an admonishing look.

I wondered what exactly Edward had said to them. They looked at me like they expected me to bolt for the door. I had hoped we’d got past this.

“I am,” I said simply. “Could someone check flights for me?”

Emmett nodded. “Sure. Any preferences?”

“The first available flight, with the least connections please,” I said, then followed Alice up the stairs.

I didn’t have many clothes here, and most of what I had was sitting in my rucksack in desperate need of washing. Alice must have been busy while I was away, though. She led me into the room Edward and I shared and began pulling outfits from the bulging closet.

“How long should I pack for?” she asked tentatively.

“Make it a week,” I said. “I’m hoping it will be less, but it’s better to take more.”

She nodded stiffly and began piling jeans and sweaters for me. I saw the strain in her eyes and the tight set of her jaw; she was really upset.

“Oh, Alice,” I sighed.

I took the bag from her unresisting hands and wrapped my arms around her. She clung to me harder than ever, and I realized this was probably the closest we had been since the day I returned. Everything that happened in the days before Edward and I left had eclipsed it. I had so been distracted with trying to make amends with Rosalie, after her emotional reaction that Alice had been overlooked.

“I’ll be back before you know it, and then we can have some fun,” I said gently. “I’m sure there is still room in this closet for a few more outfits. We can go into Anchorage and do some shopping.”

“You hate shopping,” she said, her voice muffled by my sweater.

“But I love you,” I said, and then lowered my voice. “Just the two of us, okay?”

She smiled, though it looked a little forced. “Okay.”

We continued to fill my bag with far more than I really needed. I had the feeling she was trying to draw out our time alone, so I didn’t comment.

“There’s a flight to Vancouver at eleven,” Emmett said when I was back in the lounge. “You can get a connection from there to Florence.”

“Sounds good, book that one for me, please.”

“And the return flight?” he asked hopefully.

“I’ll sort that one out myself.”

I sat on the couch beside Edward and leaned into his embrace. I was being watched by them all, but they were making every effort to hide it.

“Did you speak to Eleazar,” Carlisle asked, breaking the awkward silence.

“I did. He told me about them and explained how to get into the castle. Is there anything else you can think of?”

I was sure Eleazar had told me as much, if not more, than Carlisle could, but I sensed the need for a distraction. 

I listened attentively as he reinforced Eleazar’s advice and information. Edward sat silently running his fingers through my hair.

Jasper seemed to be battling with himself over something, eventually his discomfort became too obvious to ignore.

 _‘What’s wrong?’_ I asked.

_‘I’m worried about you.’_

_‘I’ll be fine. I can protect myself.’_ I assured him.

_‘That’s not why I am worried. What happened to you? Why were you so upset when you got home? It was familiar.’_

I controlled my features, not wanting him to see how close he was to the truth. He couldn’t know what I had felt; I had kept myself shielded the whole time I was here. Something must have tipped him off, though.

_‘Bella.’_

_‘When I get home.,_ I said. _‘Let me get through this first.’_

He gave me the same searching look as Edward had, then nodded almost imperceptively.

_‘When you get home.’_

Much sooner than I would have liked, it was time for me to leave. I hugged each of the family, almost being crushed by Esme’s embrace, and being lifted bodily by Emmett.

I wanted to drive myself to the airport, so I could keep my goodbyes private. Edward saw me out to the car and held me to him for a very long time.

“Please be careful,” he implored. “And hurry back.”

“I promise,” I said. “Try not to worry too much. I will let keep myself open to Alice’s visions as much as I can, and I will call as soon as I land.”

I forced all thoughts of the void away and opened my mind to him.

_I love you so much. I will be home soon, and then we can start our forever._

His breath hitched, and I was sure he was fighting for control of the sobs building in his chest. I was doing the same thing.

I kissed him once more, then climbed into the car and pulled out of the garage.

I looked through the rearview mirror as I drove out of sight and saw Esme embracing him and Carlisle’s hand on his shoulder as he sobbed.

My poor Edward.

xXx

I had feigned sleep on the plane to avoid overly helpful stewards, but had no such defense through the arrivals process and car hire.

I called Edward when I got out of the airport.

Neither of us could say what we really wanted; that we missed each other. That we were scared, That we were counting the seconds until we were together again. We restricted ourselves to the mundane, safe topics. I complained about the inquisitive humans. In turn he shared his annoyance at Emmett’s attempts to distract him from his own anxiety by initiating wrestling matches – one of which crushed the armchair he had been sitting on at the time of Emmett’s attack. He said he had been following my journey through Alice’s visions, and implored me to keep myself open to her as much as possible.

I spoke to Jasper briefly, assuring him that I was fine, then repeated the same conversation with Carlisle. Alice also begged me to keep myself open to her visions as long as I could. She said it was helping Edward to be able to see me. I said I would as long as I could, but once the closer I got to my destination the harder it became.

The sun was too bright for me to be out in the open. When I reached the city, so I pulled to a stop in a side road and waited.

I passed the time thinking of Edward and our plans for the future. I would like to go to college with him. It had always been my plan when I was human, and now, I had infinite time to study all the subjects I wanted.

I wondered if the whole family would come too, or if we would live alone for a while. He said Rosalie and Emmett sometimes lived as a married couple. I would like to have a little house that was just ours. I let my eyes slip closed and smiled to myself as I imagined the life we would have. 

The sun eventually sank low enough for me to move about safely. I got out of the car and smoothed the creases in my plain, black pants and sweater outfit. The air was cool enough now for the humans milling about to be wearing thin jackets, so I shrugged on my own.

I pulled my phone from my pocket and dialed Edward’s number.

“Bella.” His answer was a breathy sigh. “How are you?”

“I’m okay. I am going to be blocking Alice now, so don’t panic when I disappear.”

“Do you have to?” he moaned.

“I feel more comfortable if I am completely shielded,” I said. “I don’t know how their gifts would affect me if they tried.”

And though I would never say it to him, I was scared that Jane’s power would find a way around my shield.

“I understand,” he said somberly. “Call as soon as you can, but don’t drop your shield unless you are certain it is safe.”

“I love you,” I said, my voice a little unsteady.

“As do I. So very much.”

I smiled ruefully as I pulled the physical barrier around myself, moulding it to my form like a second skin, effectively rendering Alice blind. Taking comfort in its presence, I left the alley and began walking in the direction of what Eleazar had called their lair.

He had said I should be able to find the scent of another vampire to follow to their underground entrance, but there were so many, branching off in all directions, that it was confusing. I found the freshest and followed it. I tried to look as if I was absorbed in viewing the picturesque houses; when in fact, I was searching for a sign of another of my kind.

I heard footsteps joining my own, so light they could only be those of another vampire. I looked around under the pretense of checking a street sign, but there was no one there. The only other people in the street were a couple waking arm in arm in the opposite direction. The flush of their cheeks and thudding hearts proving they were human.

“Just a little further,” a voice said softly behind me. “This will do.”

I ducked into the alley, still followed by the invisible footsteps. They came to a halt, and I saw a hazy form in front of me. I focused on the outline, and then started as a tall man materialized.

“You are very strong minded,” he said cryptically. “There are few that can see through the illusion when I am determined.”

“Yeah, thanks, I’m–”

“You are Isabella Cullen,” he said serenely. “And I am here to take you to my masters.”

I marshaled my panic and forced a winning smile.

“Lead the way.”


	14. All Alone

**Bella POV**

He introduced himself as Afton, and explained that he was a member of the Volturi guard.

He said the name with heavy emphasis, perhaps thinking his inclusion in this elite group would impress me, or perhaps even scare me. It didn’t. I was just grateful that he could lead me to his masters. The sooner I got in, the sooner I got home.

Most of my nerves had dispersed now I had faced my first actual guard, though I was sure they would return in full when I was faced with more of them. Somehow, I doubted the infamous Jane was going to be quite so innocuous as Afton.

He led me through the narrow streets, to an iron grille sunk into the road. He glanced around to check for observers, then seeing there were none, he shifted it aside and gestured for me to go in first. Eleazar had told me about this. I would have thought the masters of the vampire race would have a more impressive entrance than the sewer system.

I nodded to him, then dropped through the hole, landing fifty feet below ground. He gripped a hand hold just inside the hole and pulled the grill back into place, before dropping down beside me.

He brushed himself off then led me along a maze of tunnels and through a dimly lit chamber, finally opening a heavy wooden door and into a bright reception area.

There was a polished desk with a plush chair behind it, facing an elevator. Though the chair was empty now, the scent in the area made me think it was usually manned by a human.

“We are between receptionists at the moment,” he said, seeing my gaze sweeping the area. “We had a girl, but she proved ill equipped for the demands of the job. My masters terminated her employment.”

He clearly wanted me to ask, but I wasn’t going to humor him. You didn’t need to be a genius to work out what happened; a poor human girl was dead because someone had the munchies.

I wanted to give Alice a glimpse of what was happening, and this innocuous room seemed a good setting for them to see. Ensuring my expression was serene, I dropped my shield just long enough for them to get a good look at what was happening and to see that I was okay, then snapped it back in place.

“Shall we move on?” I asked brightly. “I don’t imagine your masters like to be kept waiting, and they surely know I am here already.”

He nodded curtly and led me along a thickly carpeted hall ending in a pair ornate gilded doors.

While their sewer entrance was disappointing, these doors were almost intimidating in their opulence. We didn’t go to through those doors, though. He stopped midway and pushed aside a section of paneling hiding a plain wooden door.

 _Now_ my anxiety returned. For the first time since I decided I was going to accept the summons to Volterra alone, I wished someone else was with me.

As if he knew what I was thinking, and mocked me for it, he grinned and opened the door.

When we had discussed my visit, Eleazar had been hopeful that the third brother, Caius, would still be abroad dealing with the werewolf threat. He was the most antagonistic of the trio, and if anyone was likely to take be hostile, it was him. Luck wasn’t on my side, though; there were three figures in the ornate throne-like chairs.

Spread around the room were eight other figures. I gave them a sweeping glance, assessing them as opponents. Other than a huge male that could pose a risk if I was unable to shield myself physically, there was only one that worried me, the small childlike figure that stood beside her equally small twin. Jane.

Eleazar had described the room to me, so I knew what to expect, but it still gave me pause. The salty tang of human blood was thick in the air; I had apparently arrived on the heels of a meal. The circular drain in the centre of the room drew my eye. I barely suppressed a shudder at the thought of the bodies that were now piled below the grill. People that had families and friends that loved them, that even now, could be looking for them.

I was able to process all of this in the seconds it took for me to cross the threshold and walk into the room. 

The man seated in the central throne got to his feet as I approached and glided towards me.

“Isabella.” He made my name sound like a song. “I have been anxious to meet you. I am Aro, and these are my brothers, Caius and Marcus.”

“Pleased to meet you,” I said politely 

The man he introduced as Caius gave me a speculative, though not hostile, look. His brother Marcus lifted his head slowly, as if it was weighted, and frowned at me.

“I am pleased you were able to visit us so soon,” Aro said lightly. “I understood you were on your honeymoon when Santiago delivered our invitation.”

“We were returning home when he visited. We missed him by a couple of days.”

“And how is Edward? I understand it has been a tumultuous few years for you both.”

I felt a surge of anger at the mention of his name. I didn’t want to talk about him here, in this place, with the scent of death thick in the air and scores of human bodies beneath us.

“He is fine, thank you,” I said stiffly.

“We had hoped you would bring your family with you,” Caius said. “It has been a long time since we saw Carlisle last, and we have heard great things about the coven he has created. Such a _talented_ group.”

My hands wanted to fist at my sides, but I refused them. He was goading me on purpose, I was sure, and I was not going to give him the satisfaction of seeing it was working.

Aro held out a hand to me, and I knew this was the moment that mattered. If he was unable to see anything, he would know there was something different about me; but if, God forbid, he could see it all, we would be in even more trouble.

I could not refuse him. Holding my shield tight against me, I stepped forward and took his hand.

His easy smile changed into a look of intense concentration as he bowed his head over our clasped hands.

It felt like hours, but could only have been a minute at the most, before he lifted his head and looked me dead in the eye.

“What a fascinating life you lead,” he said softly.

Panic froze me, and once again I felt the pull of the void. I forced it away; this was no time to lose myself.

I felt my shield flex around me, solid and impenetrable, or so I had thought. Something had gone terribly wrong. He had seen it all!

He turned to the guard members watching our exchange avidly. “Leave us.”

All but two of them filed from the room obediently; the ones remaining were Jane and her twin.

Of all of the people that could have stayed, why did it have to be her? If Aro had seen through my shield, she may be able to use her gift, too.

“Master?” she questioned.

“You can go,” he said serenely. “Isabella is no threat to us.”

She gave me a determined look, and I steeled myself, certain that she was going to use her gift to hurt me; she didn’t, though. After glaring at me for a moment, she turned on her heel and followed her twin from the room.

Now I was alone with the three rulers of the vampire race, and I was more scared than ever before.

Aro waited until their footsteps had faded and turned to Caius. “She was right,” he said cryptically.

“Nothing?” he asked.

“Not even a glimpse.”

I wanted to question them, or more accurately, I wanted to demand they tell me what was happening, but couldn’t. Both Carlisle and Eleazar had drilled it into me; these people had to be treated with respect.

“We have much to discuss,” Aro said thoughtfully. “And much to decide. I think we should start by being honest with one another. You are a shield, yes?”

I nodded.

“Would you mind dropping it now so I can see your thoughts?”

That halted my anxious thoughts for a moment, as confusion took its place.

“I thought you just did,” I said.

“Alas, no, you blocked me. But it does not do to allow your inferiors to see you thwarted. You, however, are something different.”

I already knew that; Eleazar had said as much. I was the great vampire sideshow freak after all.

“Do I have a choice?” I asked. 

“Naturally, though I admit I am very curious. Would it help if I told you we already know most of what you are hoping to conceal?”

I really doubted that. He knew I was a shield, but if I had blocked his gift that was a no brainer. He may think I was trying to conceal the gifts of my family, which I was, but there was so much more I didn’t want him to know.

I hesitated a moment too long, and he frowned.

“Tell her, Aro.” Caius said, impatiently. “Then we can move on to the more pressing topic.”

Aro smiled, as if the idea had not occurred to him already. I suspected he had already made his choice, but was enjoyed the theatrics of the situation.

“You are Isabella Cullen, nee Swan,” he began. “You were made aware of the nature of our being as a human when you formed a relationship with Edward Cullen. You were injured and spent the last months of your human life unconscious before being changed by Edward.

“Upon your awakening, you fled and spent two years in solitude -- I must commend you on your choice of hiding place by the way. They would never have found you there. You found your way back to Carlisle’s family, where they were residing in Denali, Alaska.

“The gifts of your family include a mind reader, an empath, a psychic, and the newly discovered ability of Rosalie Hale to compel people to do her will. Your shield has already developed beyond anything Eleazar has seen before, and there is still unknown power to explore.” He saved the best for last. “Oh, I almost forgot. Your family has in the past formed an alliance with a group of shape-shifters. Is there anything else?”

“How?” I gasped. Such was my shock that I was unable to form a coherent sentence.

I couldn’t understand how he knew these things. No one outside of the family, and the Denalis, knew about Rosalie’s gift. The only thing he didn’t know, was that I was now able to read Edward’s thoughts, and we were the only ones that knew about that. I hadn’t wanted to share it with the family until we had dealt with this threat.

“Quid pro quo, Isabella. I will tell you how I know these things, if you allow me to see your memories.”

There was nothing to be gained by refusing him. The only thing left for him to learn was the extent of my shield, and I was the only one that stood to lose anything if he knew that. It could even work in our favor. If he saw my memories of the pack, he would know they were not a threat to them.

I stretched the physical shield out around the room, stopping any other vampire taking advantage of the situation to test their gift, and to keep Alice blind. If they knew what was happening, they would panic. I felt for the gossamer, fine veil that protected me and allowed it to fall completely, leaving myself open to his gift.

I knew he was able to see now as he let out an almost inaudible gasp, and he wasn’t the only one; Marcus, who had been silent since my arrival, made a small exclamation of shock.

After an indeterminable time, he raised his head and smiled. “Fascinating, really quite fascinating. You are quite remarkable.”

As soon as he released my hand, I pulled my shield back around me. Taking comfort in its presence.

Marcus walked forward and touched Aro’s hand fleetingly.

“Jasper,” Aro said musingly.

“What about him?” I demanded, all caution lost now.

“Calm yourself, Isabella, we mean you no harm. I was merely answering a question. Marcus has the ability to see relationships between people; the strength of their bonds. He was surprised by what he saw around you.”

“What does that have to do with Jasper?” I asked.

“It is strong,” Marcus said. His voice was almost a whisper. It was as if the effort it took for him to speak at all, sapped the energy needed to give him volume.

“Marcus saw two particular bonds that surprised him. One of course was your bond with Edward, an exceptionally strong mating, but there was another almost as strong, which I suspect is the bond you share with Jasper.”

I wished I could see what he saw. Perhaps if I could, it would enable to me make sense of it. I had an infinitely more pressing issue to deal with, though.

“Quid pro quo. You have seen my memories, now it is your turn,” I said boldly. “How do you know so much about me?”

“You know our role as peacekeepers,” he said. “Part of that is dealing with those that risk our exposure. We had a visitor not long ago, that brought us news of a violation. The violation being that Edward Cullen informed you of our true nature when you were a human. Then with no intent to change you, or to eradicate the risk with your death, he left you unsupervised.”

“But I have been changed!” I said desperately. “And I didn’t reveal the secret to anyone when I was human. There was no risk.”

“I know,” he said, his smile widening with amusement at my panicked reaction. “I have not called you here for judgment; I am merely explaining how we became aware of your colorful history.”

“Who was it?” I asked. “Who told you all these things?”

The only people I could think of that held such a grudge against me or my family – James, Victoria and Laurent – were already dead.

“One of Eleazar’s new coven. Irina.”

I was momentarily stunned into silence as a wave of fury swept over me. She did this to us. She reported Edward to the Volturi. She risked the life of us all.

“I don’t…” I trailed off, not even sure what I was going to say. _I don’t believe it?_ But that was wrong. I did believe it.

The fury in her eyes when I had last seen her was proof enough of her hatred of me. But how could she endanger my family like this? Unless they weren’t the intended targets.

“What did she want you to do?” I asked carefully.

“I think you already know,” he said with a sly smile. “You were hoping to conceal their existence after all.”

“The pack,” I sighed.

“Indeed. The shape-shifters you have befriended. They are almost as remarkable as you. She, of course, intended for us to destroy them. But she was also hoping you would be driven to defend them and would too be destroyed in your attempts. She put a lot of thought into her plan.”

“And will you destroy them?” I asked.

“No, I rather think not. They are an interesting species to be sure, but they do not pose a risk to the secret. As for the risk they pose to our kind, frankly, I find it derisive that they hold such a high opinion of themselves. As Eleazar suspected, I am curious about them, but nothing more.”

It was a little eerie to have such direct proof of his gift. To hear him quote Eleazar’s exact words made me realize that he now had every detail of my life fixed in his indelible mind, too. He knew things about me that I had never shared with anyone, not Jasper, or even Edward. My anger at being laid so open to him was eclipsed by relief, though. My family was safe; the pack was safe.

“So, if you are not going to punish Edward for revealing the secret, and are not going to persecute the pack, why was I called here?”

“Well, I admit I was eager to meet you,” he said brightly. “I was intrigued by what I had seen in Irina’s thoughts. Your shield alone was worth observing, and I wanted to meet the person that was able to cause such violent reactions among our kind. If I am correct, Irina is the fourth vampire you have managed to incite vengeance from.”

“The third,” I corrected. “Laurent was just hungry. He doesn’t count.”

He laughed delightedly. “You see, this is why I wanted meet you. Shaded by hatred and anger as they were, Irina’s thoughts were also grudgingly admiring. You are a unique character. Imagine the enjoyment you could bring to our family.”

So here it was. They had all known he would want me for his guard, and they were right. I waited for him to ask the question.

“I fear I already know your answer, but I must ask anyway. Would you consider joining our family?”

“I appreciate the offer,” I said politely. “But I have a family already, and I have learnt my lesson the hard way; I can’t be without them.”

He sighed. “I thought as much, but know you would always be welcome here.”

I waited for him to say more, but he didn’t.

“So I can go?” I asked hopefully.

“Yes, Isabella, you can go,” he said patiently. “There was never anything stopping you leaving but yourself. If you would wait a little longer, I can arrange for our jet to fly you straight home. So much more convenient than negotiating the airports.”

“That would be very kind,” I said graciously. I could afford to be courteous now my fears were dealt with.

“Wonderful, I will make the arrangements. I know you have a fondness for literature. If you would like to pass the time between in my personal library, you may find some rare editions. Carlisle always complimented my collection.”

There was definite fondness in his tone as he spoke of Carlisle. I wondered distractedly how he had felt seeing Carlisle’s caution about my visit in my thoughts.

“That is a kind offer, but I would prefer to wait outside somewhere. I wasn’t able to enjoy the views on my way here. I would like a second chance.”

That was a lie; I wanted to get outside so I could call Edward. This place had no cell phone reception. 

“As you wish,” he said.

I turned and made my way to the door, but Caius’ voice called after me.

“Regarding your accuser. We told her we would consider the threat before taking action. I rather think she will be waiting for news now. Would you be so kind as to inform her of our decision?”

I turned back to look at him. His smile was positively evil, and I was sure it equaled my own.

“It would be my pleasure,” I said happily. It truly would. They may not have been her direct targets, but she risked the lives of my family by coming to the Volturi. I was going make sure she didn’t make that same mistake again.

Once I was far enough away to feel comfortable, I dropped my shield so Alice could see. My smile grew even wider as I thought of Edward watching this through her thoughts, knowing I was coming back to him.

I kept my voice at a whisper, but there was no hiding my excitement. “I’m coming home.”

Home to my Edward, my family, and my forever.

xXx

**Aro POV**

“I like her,” Marcus said vaguely as we listened to the girls footsteps echoing down the hall.

I liked her, too. It was a pity really...

“Is she the same?” Caius asked eagerly.

“I believe so. The signs are there.”

“What do we do?”

“We aren’t going to do anything, not yet at least. I believe if we are patient, the informant will do it for us. She really is a vengeful creature. I think given enough time, and the right motivation, she will excel.”

“Motivation?”

“Call her back. I think it’s time she learned the true story of her mother’s demise.”


	15. Someone To Watch Over Me

**Edward POV**

I had never been more grateful for Alice’s gift.

From the moment Bella drove out of sight, Alice followed her future. She kept her mind open to me so that I could follow Bella’s journey to Volterra.

She sat for hours lost in the future, only speaking when one of the family demanded an update, or when Bella reached a new landmark in her journey.

This vigil of Bella’s path was especially poignant for the family, as this was how they had followed Bella’s progress during the disastrous surgery. Esme explained how Alice had watched Carlisle, as he watched Bella. Emmett was most uncomfortable with the parallels; he felt impotent in the face of a danger he was not able to defend her from.

My anxiety reached a new level as she passed into the city limits of Volterra. Judging by her tense expression, hers had too. She drove into a side road and pulled the car to a stop.

“I wonder what she’s thinking,” Alice mused.

I was wondering the same thing. Her eyes were closed, and a small smile played on her lips; she looked like she was dreaming.

“Phone,” Alice said.

It was already in my hand, ready for her call. After a brief pause, as the time lapse between what we were seeing and Bella’s future caught up, it began to ring.

After a brief conversation, in which I had to exercise supreme control to stop myself begging her to come home, she smiled ruefully then shielded herself. I took a shaky breath as her future changed to the black nothingness, and I hid my face in my hands.

The situation was reminiscent of the hours spent watching her change. Blocked from all of our gifts, we had no way of knowing what was going to happen, or if she would live through it.

I heard someone approaching the house, and though it was impossible, I felt a futile hope that it would be Bella that walked through the door. It was Eleazar and Carmen.

“Any news?” he asked.

“She is in the city, but is shielding herself,” Carlisle said. “We are just waiting now.”

“Would anyone object if we joined you?” he asked. “Irina has returned from another of her expeditions and she, Tanya, and Kate are having a heated discussion. We thought it best to allow them their privacy.”

“Of course not,” Esme said kindly. “You are always welcome.”

Smiling gratefully he and Carmen sat together on the couch.

“You have been watching her?" Carmen asked. 

“As much as possible,” Alice said, “and she called just before she shielded herself.”

“How is she managing the anxiety?” Eleazar asked.

His question seemed a little odd. I wondered if it was something to do with the discussion they’d had before she left. I looked for an answer in his thoughts, but he was making a concerted effort to conceal them. It was unusual for him to attempt to block my gift, and I didn’t linger in his mind too long as he was using his marital relations as a form of distraction.

“She seems to be doing well,” Alice said.

“ _Seems_ being the operative word,” Jasper said with a small smile. “With Bella, you can never be sure.” 

Alice gasped as a flash of Bella’s future passed through her mind, it was only for a moment, but it was long enough to see another vampire with her.

“What did you see?” Emmett demanded. “Is she okay?”

“She has found a guard,” Alice said. “The room was odd, though. It looked more like a swanky office than a castle.”

“Subterfuge,” Eleazar said dryly. “The deeper you go into the castle, the more obvious the difference is. Who was with her?”

“No one I recognize,” I said.

Carlisle began cataloguing the guards that he had met; their faces passed though his mind like a slideshow.

“Him!” I exclaimed when I caught sight of the unknown vampire. “Who was that?”

“Afton,” Carlisle said with satisfaction. “Possibly the least imposing of all the guard.”

“What’s his gift?” Esme asked. She was not reassured by Carlisle’s words. This man may be the least imposing, but he was still part of the Volturi.

“He has a limited ability to shield himself. Unlike Bella’s, his is a physical illusion; he can literally make himself invisible. Though, if you are strong minded, you can see through it. I doubt Bella will have any trouble with him. It can be alarming to see him suddenly appear though.

I let their words wash over me as I focused my attention on Alice’s thoughts. She was unable to see anything of Bella, other than the black nothingness. She searched the future of us each in turn, looking for the moment her path coincided with ours again. There were too many possibilities, though. All of our futures were in flux because we were waiting to see how Bella managed in Italy.

I was about to suggest she search Jasper’s path, as she was most attuned to him, when Bella dropped her shield again.

She was walking along the plush carpeted halls back to the reception area. Her voice was quiet, but her smile was dazzling. “I’m coming home.”

I half laughed, half sobbed and hid my face in my hands.

“She’s okay,” Alice soothed. “Look, she’s okay.”

“What’s happening?” Carlisle asked.

“She’s leaving now.”

“You mean, they just let her go?” Emmett asked incredulously.

“Apparently so.”

Bella kept her shield down as she passed through the tunnels and out into the city, and Alice and I watched her progress.

When she got back to the cobbled streets, she went to the car and collected her bag, then walked back to the courtyard outside the castle. There was a large fountain in the centre, and she sat on the edge and dipped her fingers in the water.

She took her phone out of her pocket and I reached for mine, waiting for it to ring. She began dialing, then something caught her attention. Her head snapped up and a split second later her future disappeared as her shield snapped into place. 

“Alice!”

“I can’t see her!” she said desperately. “She’s blocking me completely!”

“What happened?” Jasper demanded.

“She was about to call,” Alice said. “Something caught her attention, then she shielded again. She looked…”

“Scared?” Eleazar suggested.

I brought the image of her face just before she disappeared to my mind. She looked odd, a little uncomfortable, but nothing really worrying.

“No, it was more…”

I trailed off as his thoughts registered. His careful guard only slipped for a second, but it was long enough for me to see what he’d been attempting to hide from me.

He was thinking over the conversation they had before she left for Volterra. They were sitting on a log together by a lake. She was curled in on herself, her shoulders shaking with sobs as he tried to comfort her. “I felt it. I felt the void.”

Understanding dawned, and with it, horror. This was why she was so upset when we got home. She wasn’t worried about being with the family; she was scared because she thought she was losing herself again. A harsh growl built in my chest, and I dropped into a crouch.

His eyes widened as he realized his mistake, and he mimicked my movement.

“Edward!” Carlisle exclaimed. “What are you doing?”

Emmett arms locked around my chest, stopping me from launching myself at Eleazar, and Jasper flooded me with artificial calm.

“You let her go there, knowing what could happen!” I snarled.

I felt Jasper’s manipulation drop as my words registered. Bella was in danger.

“What could happen?” he asked frantically. “What did you do?”

“There was no risk,” Eleazar said, holding his hands in front of him in a gesture of defense. “It cannot happen again. It is impossible.”

“It’s Bella!” I shouted. “She is the very definition of impossible!”

“What the fuck are you talking about?” Emmett bellowed.

“The void,” I spat.

Jasper hissed. Just the mention of it affected him, and he didn’t even know the full significance yet.

“What the fuck happened!” Jasper hissed. His anxiety was too much to contain, and he projected it to the room.

I was pleased to hear a jolt of fear in his thoughts. He was once a Volturi guard; he didn’t scare easily, but the combination of my feral anger, and the anxiety Jasper was radiating into the room were enough to scare him.

I fixed him with a fierce glare. “Explain.”

“Bella came to me when she got home,” he said hurriedly. “She was worried that there was something wrong with her shield. I believe Jasper coined the term ‘the void’ to refer to the time when she would tire and was forced to rest. She believed she felt it again when she was scared.”

Jasper snarled. “Do you even know what that means? She was lost, no sight, no sound. No wonder she was scared. She went there knowing what could happened! What the fuck was she thinking? What were _you_ thinking?”

“It will not happen!” he said again. “She knew this, otherwise she wouldn’t have gone. I was merely respecting her wishes. If you knew, you would have gone after her, and they would have seen it all. I was protecting her.”

“You should have told me,” I spat, completely disregarding my earlier certainty of her strength. This was not strong. She was vulnerable and all alone in that pit of vipers.

“This is not helping anyone, least of all Bella,” Carlisle said with his usual calm tone. “When she gets home, we can ask her about this. Until then, we need to remain calm.”

He was speaking to me more than anyone. He knew me well enough to know I was close to attacking Eleazar.

My phone beeped and I snatched it up. “Bella!”

“It’s a text message,” Alice said patiently.

I pressed the corresponding buttons and read her message.

**Everything okay. On plane now. Have to shield. Very creepy guard. Be home soon. Love you. B –x–**

“See, she’s okay,” Carlisle said, reading the message.

I couldn’t remain still. My fear and anger were overpowering, and it was not only directed at Eleazar and the family. I was angry at Bella. She had gone there knowing there was a possibility this could happen again. Jasper had been right; it was another demonstration of her kamikaze selflessness.

“I’m going for a run,” I said blankly. Ignoring the protests of the others, I ran from the house and out toward the mountains.

I heard Jasper following me and slowed to allow him to catch up. I couldn’t have borne anyone else’s company at the moment, but I knew if anyone understood how I was feeling in that moment, it was him.

“I know you’re mad,” he said without preamble. “But you need to get that out of your system before she gets here. She is going to be stressed enough as it is. She doesn’t need you going overboard, too.”

“Are you trying to say you aren’t?” I asked.

“I’m furious. I want to take her by the shoulders and shake some sense into her. But I won’t. She did what she did to protect us. The same way she does most things. Getting mad at her will achieve nothing, except perhaps to stop her confiding in us about what she is really feeling.”

I kicked at the trunk of a spruce. It snapped at the roots and crashed down in front of us, showering us with dirt and needles.

“Well, we have somewhere to sit,” he said lightly, dusting away the dirt and sitting down.

He looked at me expectantly, and I thumped down beside him.

“You want to talk about it?” he asked. “Vent a little of that rage I can feel bubbling under the surface.”

“I can’t believe she didn’t tell me,” I spat.

He snorted. “Really? I can. In fact, I can’t believe I didn’t see it sooner. Don’t get me wrong. I’m pissed about it, but not at her as much as myself.” He gave me a shrewd look out of the corner of his eye. “A lot like you really.”

I raked my hands through my hair. “Why didn’t I see it?”

He was quiet for a long time, his attention fixed on a beetle crawling across a leaf. “Because you weren’t there,” he said eventually.

I winced. I hated these reminders of how I had failed her.

“It’s not a dig,” he said gently. “It’s a fact. You weren’t there for that time; you don’t know what it was like. Let’s not forget Bella is the master at hiding things. We just need to be calm and talk to her about this. If she is right, and what she felt was the void, we’ll find a way to fix it.”

“You make it sound so simple.”

“It is. No matter what life throws at her, she gets through it. This is just another challenge. Think what she has been through already. She was stuck in the coma for weeks before we realized she was there. She found a way to communicate, and dealt with the fact only Rose and I believed her. Anyone else would have given up, but she kept going. You wait and see, she’ll be home soon, and she’ll be fine.”

“What if it does happen?” I asked desperately. “What if we lose her again?”

His expression was haunted. I knew how little he wanted to think of these things, but he was also the only one that really understood my fear.

“We won’t lose her.” It wasn’t a reassurance, but a promise. “She won’t let that happen again.”

We fell into silence. Each of us lost in our own thoughts as we counted down the minutes till she came home. 

After what felt like minutes, but the ticking hands of my watch told me it was hours, I heard someone approach. I knew from Jasper’s contented sigh that it was Alice.

“She’s almost here,” she said, falling into Jasper’s waiting embrace.

She showed me a vision of Bella driving along the empty highway into the park. Her perfect gold eyes were distant. She looked deep in thought.

“She called, but you left your cell phone at…”

Her words trailed into laughter as I clapped my pockets looking furious.

“Carlisle spoke to her and told her you and Jasper had gone for a run to vent some frustration on the landscape. She seemed happy that you were out doing something other than sitting and brooding.” She looked pointedly at the newly felled tree we had taken position on. “Turns out you did both.”

We started back toward the house. I wasn’t in any real hurry to get to chaos of anxious thoughts and questions, I was still trying to deal with my own. Despite the fact I knew she was okay, and at that very moment coming home to me, I wouldn’t feel right again until she was in my arms.

“Have you seen anything of what will happen when she gets home?” I asked Alice.

“No. Everyone is vacillating in their decisions too much. Everyone wants to ask her about it, but at the same time they’re worried about upsetting her.”

“She’ll tell us in her own time,” Jasper said, no doubt in his thoughts or tone. “She told me before she left we would talk about it when she got home. She told you the same, right?”

I nodded.

“There you go then, she’ll tell us when she’s ready.”

Everyone was where we had left them in the lounge. Emmett was trying to arrange a group hunting trip, but not getting the enthusiastic responses he was hoping for.

I knew I should apologize to Eleazar for my reaction, he was just doing what Bella asked of him after all, but I didn’t. It was easier for me to blame him for his part in causing me to feel this fear, than myself or Bella.

I sat down beside Carlisle and listened to his mental reassurances. _I spoke to her on the phone. She is well and will be home very soon. Try to keep calm._

I nodded to acknowledge his words and joined Emmett and Jasper as they told Carmen about the scavenger hunt Bella had arranged for the family in Vegas. They were discussing the possibility of doing something similar on a larger scale with the Denalis included.

_Hello, lover_

Her words registered a second before the rumble of an engine reached me. I cut off my explanation of the way she had charmed the hotel owner into letting us book the Kingpin Suite though it had already been set aside for a minor celebrity and ran out to meet her.

She jumped from the car and threw herself into my arms, wrapping her legs around my waist. I buried my face in her neck and took great lungfuls of her scent. She peppered my exposed cheek with kisses.

“God I missed you,” she sighed.

“Me too. New rule, no more being separated. I don’t care who wants to meet you. They can come to you.”

She laughed, and the sound warmed my heart. “We better get inside. I have a lot to tell you all.”

I carried her inside and set her on her feet in the middle of the lounge. All the anxiety we had felt while she was in Volterra disappeared as she was passed around like a bizarre game of pass the parcel as everyone greeted her. Even the news about the void seemed insignificant when compared to the fact she had been to Volterra and had got home unscathed.

That relief didn’t last long. When Esme finally released her, she sat down beside me, and the tension in the room grew again. Her bright smile became confused and then suspicious as she saw us all looking at her.

In one of those inexplicable instances of deduction, she looked around at us each in turn, her gaze finally coming to rest on Eleazar. “I told you to think about sex.”

“I tried,” he defended. “But my thoughts slipped.”

“Well shit,” she sighed.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Carlisle asked solicitously.

“Not particularly, but I will. What would you rather hear about first, the new development in the freak-a-thon or Volterra?”

No one answered immediately. The more pressing issue for us all now was the void; she was here and safe which meant Volterra would wait.

She took our silence as an answer and sighed heavily.

“Okay, the void. How much did he tell you?” she asked, shooting Eleazar a reproachful look.

“That when you were scared, you felt the void creeping in again,” Jasper said accusingly. Apparently, his desire to shake sense into her was resurfacing.

“You can cut that crap now!” she said firmly. “I’m not going to be made to feel guilty about this. I chose not to tell you because you’d have kicked up a stink about me going to Volterra. It was my decision to make and no one else’s.”

I was shocked, but pleased, to hear her speak to Jasper like this. If she could be firm with him, no one else stood a chance.

There was suddenly a voice missing from the chorus of questions in my mind. She had evidently shielded Jasper, perhaps to save him suffering through the emotions of us all as she told her story, or because she didn’t want him trying to talk to her; either way, he didn’t look pleased. He quirked an eyebrow and she shook her head curtly.

She sank down onto the couch and entwined her hands in her lap. It was a very familiar gesture. Carlisle did the exact same thing when weighing a heavy decision. Esme noticed the similarity too; it made her happy that Bella was picking up some of his quirks. 

“Some of you know all of this already, so feel free to talk amongst yourselves if you get bored,” she said lightly. “But I need to start at the beginning for it to make sense.”

She took a deep breath and fixed her eyes on the opposite wall.

“When I was in the hospital, I could sometimes hear and feel what was happening around me. It came and went like I was falling in and out of consciousness, but as you know, I was _always_ unconscious. After the surgery, things became much clearer. I could stay ‘awake’ for longer, but the darkness was always there, ready to sweep in and take it all away again. I think _that_ was my shield. I think it was protecting me from all the things that I wasn’t able to deal with.”

She paused in her speech. Her eyes became distant as she considered how to explain what happened next.

“On the way home, I was thinking about Alice’s call, wondering what could have happened to make her sound so frightened. Then I got scared. The void, the darkness, the shield, whatever you want to call it, began creeping in. It only lasted a few seconds, but it took a lot to hold it back.”

“And you think it was trying to protect you again?” Rosalie asked.

“I do, but it’s all screwed up. It’s not protecting me now, but making me vulnerable. I need to understand why it happens, so I can control it.” 

She looked at Jasper, apparently communicating silently.

He shook his head emphatically. “No way! Not a chance!”

“I hate when they do this,” Emmett moaned. “As if it’s not bad enough that Edward and Alice have their little chats that none of us can hear, now they’re at it.”

“It would help,” she said pleadingly, ignoring Emmett’s comment.

“I don’t give a crap. I’m not going to scare you into unconsciousness just so you can master a new skill.”

“I won’t be unconscious; Eleazar said it’s impossible.”

“To quote Edward, you are the very definition of impossible.”

Carlisle leaned forward in his chair. “Are you thinking of triggering the fear response intentionally?”

Though he sounded concerned, there was the familiar gleam in his eye that always preceded one of his experiments. I had seen it often enough in my early years as we tested my ability to hear thoughts. 

“Yes. I need to know what would happen if it overpowers me completely, and I don’t want to wait until I am in a situation where someone can get hurt because of it.”

“I’m not doing it!” Jasper said firmly. “What if you got stuck like that again?”

“Eleazar said–”

“I don’t give a shit what Eleazar said!” he shouted.

She flinched, and he immediately felt guilty.

“I’m sorry, Bella,” he said softly, “but none of us know what could happen. What if you were trapped again? I can’t see you like that again. I won’t.”

His thoughts were anguished. He feared the void, perhaps more than she did herself. His gift made a person’s emotions as much a part of how he saw them as their voice or scent. When Bella shielded, it made him uncomfortable, but he could still sense her presence. The void was different. It was almost like she was dead. He hated it.

She moved to sit on the edge of his chair and wrapped an arm around his shoulders. “Okay, I won’t ask you to do it.”

“But you are going to try anyway?” he said shrewdly.

“I have to know what would happen.”

“No you don’t. You barely made it through last time, just leave the damn thing alone and get on with your life. Stop looking for trouble.”

“I’m not–”

“You _are._ I understand. You’re human life was a mess of drama, but that’s over now. This is the happy ever after.”

She looked like she was going to argue, but his next words effectively halted any further argument.

“If you do this, I’m not sticking around to watch.”

“Fine,” she snapped. “But if it all goes to shit, expect a hearty chorus of the ‘told ya so’ song. I may even add a dance routine to go with it.”

“Are you expecting something to go wrong?” Esme asked, rephrasing Bella words to save us the amusement of hearing her curse. “Did something happen in Volterra?”

She laughed mirthlessly. “Yep, a lot of things happened in Volterra. We’ve all… someone is coming.”

I focused and recognized the mental voices of Tanya, Kate, and Irina.

“It’s okay, love. It’s just Tanya and her sisters.”

“Irina?”

I nodded. “Yes, she has just got back from another of her excursions.”

“Oh, I bet she has,” she snarled, running for the door. I started after her, but before I could even reach the door, I heard a feral roar and then a scream of pain.

“Bella!”


	16. Anytime, Anywhere

**Edward POV**

There was a crush of bodies at the door as we all tried to get outside at once. The wooden frame was crushed, and the heavy wooden doors hung awkwardly from their twisted hinges. They came away with a splintering of wood, and we all spilled out onto the grass.

My eyes found Bella immediately. My relief that she seemed unharmed changed to confusion when I saw how she was positioned.

She was straddling Irina’s back, pinning her to the ground, her mouth inches from her ear as she hissed a stream of expletives. Kate and Tanya were trying to get to their sister, but, in what was by now a familiar scene, they were being held back by the shield.

Emmett ran forward and tried to pull her away, but she held him back with her shield. He beat his fist against it, and a moment later, he was swept back and pinned against the side of the house.

“Oh great, this again,” he moaned.

“Bella! What are you doing?” Carlisle demanded.

As if they had been caught in an invisible wave, everyone but Jasper and I were swept back and pinned against the wall.

Even through my shock, I marveled at the fact she was able to target them and leave us standing. _The ones she could trust._

Jasper tried to calm her, but she blocked his influence. He could feel her emotions though, and she was enraged.

She ignored Carlisle’s question, all her focus on the woman pinned beneath her. “Why are you here?” she hissed menacingly. “Did you want to see the fallout firsthand? You must have known I was on my way home. Did you think I wouldn’t find out what you did?”

Irina whimpered as Bella yanked at a hank of her hair, twisting her head at an unnatural angle.

“Answer me!” she shouted.

I walked forwards slowly, waiting for the moment I would be pushed away too. I wasn’t pushed away, but when I got too close, she turned to me and held out a hand, a clear warning in her eyes. She was a lot like a hunting vampire at that moment. I didn’t try to move closer, but knelt on the ground so I was within her peripheral vision.

“What happened?” I asked softly. “What did she do?”

“This. Bitch. Sold. Us. Out,” she snarled, accentuating every word with a slam of Irina’s head against the ground.

Jasper moved forward, whether to pull her away or to help her I didn’t know, but he didn’t get a chance.

One hand at Irina’s throat and other twisted in her hair, she turned to look at him. Her eyes were black with fury, her expression twisted with rage. “I don’t want to hurt you, Jasper, but if you come any closer, I will.”

He nodded. “Okay, I’ll stay back, but you have to tell us what’s happened.”

She turned her attention back to Irina and lowered her mouth, teeth bared, to her neck.

“You are going to tell them what you did. If you don’t, I am going to take a chunk out of your neck. I’ve never done it before, so I may get carried away. I don’t know if you’d still be able to talk if your head was no longer connected to your body, but I’m willing to find out.”

I was simultaneously horrified and impressed at her words. She was terrifying in her rage, but also clever. She knew exactly how much force to use, what words would provoke the greatest reaction. It was working; Irina was petrified, her thoughts a stream of terror.

“Save the analysis, Edward,” she said sharply. “Concentrate on what you are hearing in her vile mind.”

She must have heard my thoughts. I hadn’t even considered our mental connection. I was so distracted by her rage.

“Focus!”

“Okay, sorry. I can’t hear anything clear, though. She’s too scared to make sense.”

“We can’t have that can we?” she cooed. “We need you to have your say, after all. It wouldn’t be fair if I killed you before they understood.”

In a move so fast it was a blur, she hauled Irina to her feet and stepped back. Irina looked hesitant for a moment, as if preparing to flee, but Bella snapped her shield around her, holding her in place.

“No running,” she said sweetly. “You like telling stories, don’t you? Tell them what you did.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she said with impressive indifference for someone scared out of her wits. 

Bella hissed and snapped her teeth an inch from Irina’s face. “Tell them what you did.”

_Maria!_

I heard the name pass through Jasper’s mind, and I gaped at him.

_She knows what she is doing. She’s like Maria._

I hissed furiously, repulsed by the comparison. My Bella was nothing like that lunatic. She was good and innocent and gentle, though admittedly not at the moment, but still…

“Yeah, I’m an angel,” she said irritably. “Now, shut up and listen.”

Irina was still frozen in place by Bella’s shield. The others were shouting questions and warnings, but their voices barely registered. It was as if Bella’s shield was muffling their voices. I could see their frantic, and in the case of Kate and Tanya, furious expressions, but they may as well have been whispering for all the impact it had.

“I told the Volturi about your beast friends,” Irina said defiantly. “They are an abomination. You wouldn’t help me deal with them, so I went to someone that would.”

“And the rest,” Bella said calmly.

“That is all. You are blind to the danger they pose. They killed Laurent, and they almost killed you. I was protecting us all!”

Bella hissed and began circling Irina’s immobile form. Her hands were claws at her sides. It looked like she was fighting to control the urge to claw at Irina’s flesh.

“You weren’t protecting us at all,” she snarled. “Do you think they wouldn’t tell me what you wanted them to do? I was supposed to defend them, wasn’t I? You wanted me dead. All because of that sniveling cretin Laurent. You would have had me killed, and Edward too. You knew he wouldn’t have let me fight alone. You risked the life of everyone I love for your own selfish revenge.”

Her voice shook as she finished, whether from sadness or rage I didn’t know, but I couldn’t leave her uncomforted. I reached out and touched her shoulder. She didn’t pull away from me, though I could feel the tension in her shoulders.

“It’s okay love,” I said softly. “You can relax now.”

She took a deep breath, but the tension didn’t fade.

“Jasper, a little help please.”

I felt him flooding the area with his manufactured calm, and the stiff set of her shoulders relaxed somewhat. The shield holding the others in place vanished, and they stepped away from the wall cautiously.

“Why would you do this?” Tanya asked her sister solemnly. “After seeing the power they hold, after all we have lost because of them, you would risk the life of us all?”

“Not you,” Irina gasped. “Never you.”

“We knew about the pack, too. You risked our lives as certainly as you did the rest of our family. Bella included.”

“She is _not_ our family!” she screeched. “She is a freak, a curse; everyone around her suffers for her presence. She even killed her own parents!”

There was a harsh, throat ripping snarl. I gripped Bella’s arm, expecting her to launch herself at Irina again, but it was Esme that had snarled, and Esme that was repelled by Bella’s shield as she charged forward.

“How dare you!” she snarled. “Bella, drop this shield now.”

“No,” she said quietly, then addressed Irina. “You aren’t wrong. I am a freak, probably a curse too, but there is nothing I can do about that. I tried distancing myself from the people I love to protect them, and it didn’t work. You weren’t protecting anyone when you went to Aro. You went there seeking my destruction. You failed. They aren’t going to hunt the pack, and they let me leave freely, too.

“You have a choice. You can carry on trying to punish me for what happened to Laurent, or you can get over it and live your life. You come after me or my family again and I _will_ stop you. I’ve never tried pinning someone indefinitely before, but I’m all about the experimenting. I will hold you in my shield and see how long it takes for you to break.”

“What is it going to be Irina?” Eleazar said softly. “Don’t doubt her; she can and will do it.”

“Let me free and I will stop,” she said, her words twisted with rage.

Bella stared at her for a moment, judging her honesty for herself, then nodded. The shield must have dropped as Irina was able to move. She flexed her arms as if shaking off tiredness.

She looked at Bella with such loathing it was almost a physical thing. “I will stop, but those beasts _are_ abominations. Just because you have the Volturi wrapped around your finger, it doesn’t mean there aren’t others out there that will see them for what they really are. You need to be careful.”

“Thanks for the tip,” Bella said lightly. “Feel free to leave now, before I change my mind and turn you into a piece of performance art.”

Jasper stifled a laugh as Irina turned on her heel and ran out of sight.

“Bella,” Tanya said tentatively. “I am so sorry for what she has done, but don’t let her scare you. She has a tendency toward the dramatic.”

“And I have a tendency towards impatience,” she said smoothly. “Keep her away from me, and we’ll both be fine.”

Tanya acknowledged her words with a nod, and then she and Kate ran after Irina.

“Wow, Bells. That was frickin’ awesome,” Emmett praised.

Rather than being pleased at the compliment, it seemed to steal the last of her resolve. She turned into my arms and hid her face against my chest.

I held her to me and ran my hands along her back. “You’re okay, love,” I whispered. “It’s okay.”

She wasn’t shielding herself, but her thoughts weren’t very clear. She was centered on the rage she had felt and was chastising herself for losing control like that.

Carlisle raised a hand as if to touch her, then seemed to think better of it.

“I understand you are upset,” he said gently. “But it would be helpful to us all if you could explain what happened in Volterra. What exactly did Irina do?”

“That can wait,” Jasper said firmly. “We’re going to hunt first. Then we can all talk.”

He took her hand, and she allowed him to lead her away into the park. I followed after them; the thought of her being out of my sight, no matter how short a time, was too much to bear.

We ran until we caught the scent of caribou, and he released her hand and gestured her forward. She dropped into a crouch and ran toward the scent.

“Is she okay?” I asked.

“She will be. I think she shocked herself as much as she did the rest of us.”

Ten minutes later, she came back to us, her eyes back to the clear gold I loved.

She nodded in response to an unheard question and forced a smile.

“Let’s get back,” she said. “Carlisle has got to be going crazy with all the questions.”

“He can wait.”

“I don’t know that _I_ can. I need to get this out of my system before I track Irina down and really hurt her.”

We started back to the house together. The destroyed doors were on the grass outside the house and Emmett was sanding down the splintered frame. It would not be the first time we were forced to replace part of this house. Due to its isolation, we tended to be a bit more relaxed with the charade and therefore more destructive.

“You okay, Bella?” he asked, eyeing her carefully.

She shrugged. He stood and pulled her into his bearlike embrace, drowning her small frame with his arms. She closed her eyes and nuzzled into his chest. It was a very endearing scene, especially for me as I could hear the pleasure in Emmett’s thoughts as she let him comfort her.

Eleazar and Carmen were still here, but Tanya and Kate hadn’t returned. I had hoped they would. Though we knew Irina had earned Bella’s wrath, none of us knew the full story yet, and I didn’t want her to have to repeat it.

She thumped down onto the couch beside Carlisle and rested her head on his shoulder for a moment before she began her explanation of all that had happened.

“I showed Aro my thoughts,” she said simply.

There was a beat of silence. Then everyone began talking at once, asking questions and demanding explanations. She stayed quiet, letting us get it out of our system. Only when Carlisle waved us all into silence and asked what had happened, did she speak again.

“When I arrived, they were all there, all the guard you told me about _and_ Caius. Aro took my hand and said something about how fascinating my life was. I thought there was something wrong with my shield. I had been trying to block him, but he was lying. He sent all the guard out of the room, so it was just me and the three ancients–”

“You were totally alone with them?” Eleazar interrupted. He was astounded that she had been given a private audience. To his knowledge, that had never happened before. Not even Carlisle, who would never have been classed as a threat to them, was granted that honor.

“Yep, alone,” she said simply. “Aro said: _‘it does not do to allow your inferiors to see you thwarted’_. He pretended he could see my thoughts to save face, and then sent them away so he could ask me to drop the shield.”

Her expression darkened, and her hands fisted in her lap.

“He had already seen it all in Irina’s thoughts. She went to them hoping they would destroy that pack, and me along with them when I tried to defend them. It was horrible. He recited everything he knew about me, all the things we tried to hide. He even knew about Rosalie’s gift. There was nothing to gain by refusing, so I didn’t. I figured if he saw that the pack were focused only on protecting the tribe, they would leave them alone.”

And there it was; the reason she had risked it all. The only thing left to lose was herself. She had the secret of the void, and the new development in her shield to hide, but she risked that to protect them.

“Did it work?” I asked. “Do you think he really will leave them alone now?”

“He said they were a curiosity, but he thought the fact they considered themselves a threat at all was funny. I think he’ll leave them alone. It’s us I’m not so sure about.”

“What do you mean?” Esme asked, speaking for the first time since Bella had tackled Irina.

“I’m not sure,” she said thoughtfully. “I didn’t think of it until later. I was just so happy to be getting out of there, but something isn’t right.” She turned to me. “Want to take a look and see what you think?”

I was surprised, but pleased, that she was willing to share this with me. She kept so much to herself. If she was hiding this too, she would eventually be overwhelmed.

I nodded and stared into her eyes. She opened her mind and allowed the memories of all that had passed to flow through her mind. I saw it all, Aro reciting all that he knew about her, her deliberation before she opened her mind to him. All he didn’t know was the power she possessed, and she revealed that to him to protect the pack. She was the only one that stood to lose anything. My wonderful, infuriating, clever, selfless Bella.

“I can’t see anything that causes me concern,” I said when her mental recital ended. “It was far more amiable than I expected it to be, in fact. Who was the man on the plane?”

The only thing that seemed unusual was the male vampire that had travelled home with her.

“That’s Fred,” she said with a small smile. “He was one of Victoria’s army, but ran from the group before they reached you. He lived as a nomad for a while, but got a bit sloppy with one of his hunts, and the Volturi came after him. He thought they were going to kill him, but instead, they took him back to Volterra, and he joined the guard. I don’t think he’s very happy with them, though.”

“Hey, Bella made a new friend,” Emmett said indulgently.

Without taking her eyes from me, she waved an airy hand; and he clutched his cheek as if he’d been punched.

“What the hell was that?”

“Something I’ve been working on with the shield,” she said with a wicked smile. “Want me to do it again.”

“No. It hurt,” he whined.

Eleazar was watching her with the now familiar look of fascination.

She caught his eye and smiled. “We can test it out later. I want to talk about Irina first.”

The tension in the room rose perceptively. All audible thought turned to what she had done, the blatant disregard she had shown for all of our safety in her quest for revenge.

“You all have a long history with her,” she said. “She’s part of your family, and you love her.”

There were varying responses to that. We had all thought of Irina as one of our extended family before, and some of us still did, Carlisle and Esme particularly. The rest of us were struggling to consolidate what she had done, to the person we had known. 

“Because she is your family, I am going to leave her alone now,” Bella continued calmly. “But if she comes near me again, I _will_ hurt her. And if I find out she had tried to hurt any of us, or the pack, I will make sure it’s the last thing she does.”

There was no doubting her. She was deadly serious. Had Irina plotted against her alone, she would have forgiven it, but the fact she risked the life of people she loved was unforgiveable in Bella’s eyes. 

“I will make sure she understands,” Eleazar said somberly.

Reassured by his words, she smiled. “Okay then. Seeing as we can’t test out the void.” She ignored Jasper’s low growl. “We should work on the other aspects of the shield. I don’t know if I am just paranoid after my trip to the creepy castle, but I want to be prepared anyway.”

“That is a sensible approach,” Carlisle said with ill concealed glee. He was excited at the prospect of working with Bella’s shield. “Where would you like to start?”

She turned to look at me. _Ready to tell them?_

I nodded. _I think it’s time._

“I think we should start with my ability to read Edward’s mind.” 


	17. Pass Me By

**Bella POV**

“That sucks!” Emmett moaned. “Now they’re all going to be at it. I want a special power.”

“You do,” Rosalie said, then whispered something to him that I missed.

Edward evidently caught it in her thoughts as he snorted. “I’m sure that would come in very handy in a fight,” he said. “Admittedly, it wouldn’t work on the men, but he’d have women queuing up.”

Possibly because he didn’t want an explanation of Emmett’s super power, or because he just couldn’t wait any longer, Carlisle began an onslaught of questions about Edward’s and my connection. 

We explained how we had discovered it and the limitations – we had found I could only hear what _he_ was thinking.. Even if he was listening to another’s thoughts, I only heard what he chose to repeat.

“How does it feel when you are doing it?” Carlisle asked.

“It doesn’t really feel like anything. When I share my thoughts with Edward, or tap out emotions with Jasper, it’s just like talking aloud. Most things with my shield work automatically. It’s stopping it working that’s the problem.”

My tone was a little bitter as I finished. I understood why Jasper wouldn’t help me to explore the void, but it didn’t make it any easier to accept. It was the fear of the unknown that bothered me more than anything. If it took over…

“What do you mean automatically?” Eleazar asked, breaking into my thoughts.

I considered for a moment before answering. “When I held you back while I was… talking… with Irina, it wasn’t a decision. It was instinct. I think that’s why Jasper and Edward weren’t held away too. You said the shield was part of me, an extension of self. It’s like breathing. It doesn’t take any conscious thought to do it, but you have to work to stop it.” 

Eleazar and Carlisle fell into excited discussion of this development and what it could mean. Edward and Jasper occasionally chimed in, explaining how it felt for them to use their gifts with me.

I slumped back into the couch and let their voices rush over me. Carlisle wrapped an arm around my shoulder and pulled me into his side.

For just a while, I was able to push aside my fears of the void and my gift and pretend I was a normal girl, living a normal life, taking comfort in her father’s embrace. 

xXx

We spent the next few days working with my mental shield. Eleazar wanted to know which shield blocked which gift, so I spent hours blocking Edward, Alice, Jasper and Kate in turn; and then in different combinations. Kate and Edward were both blocked purely by the mental shield, whereas for Jasper and Alice, I had to push away the physical too.

I had never needed to concentrate on the way I blocked before, and I found it mentally tiring to spend so long working with the different gifts. It felt like I was working against myself when I actually forced the shield to work, almost as if the shield was begrudging the interference. I had to hunt at the end of each day as my eyes would be almost onyx. As tiring as it was, it was also gratifying. The more I knew about the shield, the less I worried about the void.

Edward and I were in our bedroom, luxuriating in the time after lovemaking when everything else seems insignificant, when reality intruded in the form of an overexcited Emmett. I snatched up the sheet to cover myself, but unfortunately I left Edward bare in the process.

“Oh my eyes!” Emmett gasped, covering his face with his shovel like hands.

“Don’t you knock?” Edward said irritably, snatching up a pair of pants from the floor and pulling them on.

“Only on headboards.” He peeked between his hands, checking if Edward was now dressed. I was still covered only by a sheet, but apparently that didn’t bother him. He threw himself down the end on the bed, and grinned up at me.

“Carlisle says I get to help you test the shield today,” he said happily.

“Later,” Edward growled, shoving him off the bed. “Right now we are busy, and you are interrupting.”

“But I want to play,” he moaned, dodging Edward’s punch and sitting on the bed again.

“It’s like having a 200 pound toddler,” I laughed. “Go watch cartoons, dear. Mommy and Daddy are busy.”

“Yeah, I know,” he said, rolling his eyes. “To quote Carlisle, they’ve ‘popped out for a quick hunt’. Load of crap if you ask me. They popped out for a quick fu–”

“Rose!” I shouted. “Come get your husband before I throw him through a wall.”

She came into the room, insensible with hysterics and dragged him out.

I scowled at Edward, who was barely controlling his own amusement.

Wrapping the sheet carefully around myself, and ignoring his suggestions that we should conserve water by sharing the shower, I searched through the closet for something suitable. I didn’t want to be dressed in anything too expensive as I had an idea that testing my physical shield was going to involve a lot of wrestling.

I left Edward to his solitary shower – that’d teach him to laugh at me – and went out to the garage to chat with Rosalie.

“Eleazar is on his way,” Emmett said, bounding into the garage. “I called him and said you were getting impatient.”

“But I’m not. Carlisle isn’t even back yet.”

“I know that, but if I said _I_ was getting impatient, he wouldn’t have hurried. You on the other hand…”

“Have him wrapped around your finger,” Rosalie said from her position under the car. “How do you do that by the way? Carlisle, Eleazar, Jasper, even Emmett, they fall over each other to please you.”

I frowned. I didn’t like the way that sounded. It wasn’t like I did anything to make them think they had to please me. In fact, most of the things we did together, like working with my shield and wrestling with Emmett, were largely motivated by my desire to make them happy.

She slid out from under the car. “Hey, I’m only kidding,” she said, seeing my troubled expression. “We all know you don’t do it on purpose. It’s just something that happens.”

I nodded vaguely, wondering how exactly it happened, and how I could stop it.

 _Stop worrying,_ Edward scolded mentally. _They do it because they love you; there is nothing wrong with that. Rosalie is just being Rosalie, ignore her. There’s a reason her gift is the ability to mentally bitch-slap people._

By the time Edward had come to join us in the garage, Eleazar, Carmen, Kate and Tanya had arrived. Like me, they were dressed in jeans and a t-shirt, not their usual style at all.

“Eleazar said we were going to be joining in today,” Tanya explained, noting my confusion.

“Yes, I would like to see how your physical shield works at range, and with varied targets,” he said, his eyes alight with excitement.

His enthusiasm was infectious; I felt a thrill of excitement as he began explaining his plan. Essentially, I was to shield myself as they attempted to break through. We were going to start with Alice, as the smallest, and build it up to Emmett.

When Carlisle and Esme arrived home, we all headed out to the small clearing north of the house. If I was going to be sending vampires flying about, it was better to do it out of range of the house.

“Okay, Bella,” Eleazar began, directing me to the center of the clearing. “You concentrate on blocking us, and we will attack.”

I focused on the thick physical layer and held it away from myself, creating a bubble ten feet around me. Flexing it, to test its cover, I nodded to Alice. “Whenever you’re ready.”

As in all things, Alice was not one for waiting around; as soon as I gave her the nod, she charged at me.

She should have expected it. She’d seen it happen enough times before, but she still looked stunned as she collided with the invisible wall and bounced off.

When I had control of my laughter, I nodded for Esme to take her turn.

One after another they tried, and failed, to make it through. I couldn’t help teasing Emmett a little when it was his turn. I sat down on the grass and pulled my cell phone from my pocket and started running through ringtones, looking supremely unconcerned. Unsurprisingly, he run much faster, and collided much harder, with the shield because of it.

“Was there any difficulty at all holding us back?” Eleazar asked.

“Nope,” I said, jumping to my feet again. “What’s next?”

“I would like to try multiple opponents. Shield yourself, and we will try attacking en masse.”

If I hadn’t already shown I could hold them away, I would have been a little scared at the sight of eleven vampires preparing to charge at me. The lined up like they were preparing for a marathon, eyeing me as if picking a spot to target. I think some of them were a little bitter about their collisions. Rosalie’s hair was very messed up, and the butt of Kate’s jeans was a uniform green from where she had skidded back on the grass.

I braced myself, and then nodded to them. They came forward as one, colliding with the shield with such force I rocked back on my heels. It hurt!

Reflexively I pushed back. There were startled gasps and uttered oaths as they were sent flying back crashing through trees, and in Emmett’s case, a boulder.

“I’m not trying that again,” I said firmly. “It hurt.”

“Hurt how?” Carlisle asked, concern battling curiosity in his expression. 

“If I was human, I would compare it to being given a dead arm. But it wasn’t my arm that hurt. It was my head.”

I leaned into Edward’s offered embrace. It was disconcerting to feel the sensation of pain again. When I wrestled with Emmett, we sometimes got carried away and were too rough, but it was uncomfortable, never painful.

“We won’t do it again,” he said, smoothing back my hair.

“We know now that there is a limit to your ability to block opponents,” Eleazar said thoughtfully. “I would like to see if there is a limit to how many you can contain at any one time.”

“We already know she can hold us away,” Emmett said, scowling. “She keeps pinning us to walls to prove it.”

“Only twice,” I corrected, “and there were extenuating circumstances both times.”

“He has a point though,” Rosalie said. “There aren’t enough of us to test that properly. We need more people.”

There were many suggestions for how we could find more volunteers, Emmett’s idea – the mall – being the least advisable. The only way we would be able to test it properly was to use the Pack, and I wasn’t willing to go back to Forks just to satisfy their curiosity.

Unable to experiment further with that, Eleazar and Carlisle fell into discussion about what we could try next. I was apparently not needed for that part of it, so I lay back on the grass and cloud spotted with Alice and Rose instead. I soon grew bored of that and closed my eyes, letting their voices flow around me and thinking of what was fast becoming an obsession: that niggling feeling of doubt.

“What are you thinking about?” Edward asked, shifting me so my head was resting on his knees.

“The Volturi,” I said, honestly.

All conversation cut off around me. I didn’t need to open my eyes to know they were all staring at me; I could feel their eyes boring into me. 

“What about them?” he asked.

I sat up and hugged me knees. “I don’t know. That’s the problem. It’s just that feeling of something being off that I can’t work out.”

“Are you sure you’re not just reacting to what happened when you returned?” Jasper asked. “There was so much drama you could just be transferring your feelings about Irina to them.”

I considered his words. It was possible, likely even, but still…

“Maybe,” I said doubtfully.

“Even if they are up to something, what can we do about it?” Tanya asked. “They’re the Volturi. We can’t fight them, we’d be killed. If they knew we were even considering taking them on, they’d kill us. Think what they did to the Romanians, and that was before they had Jane and Alec. The best thing we can do is get on with our lives and hope they leave us alone.”

I bit back my easy retort that it would have been a lot easier to get on with our lives if her stupid sister hadn’t run off to tell them all about us.

Jasper felt my irritation and quirked an eyebrow questioningly. _‘What’s wrong?’_

_‘Nothing wrong. I’m just feeling a little bitter about the psycho sister.’_

He grinned. _‘Want something to distract you?’_

_‘Please.’_

“I have an idea for what we can do next,” he said aloud. “We haven’t worked with her ability to mentally shield multiple targets yet.”

This was not the distraction I was hoping for. I thought he had something fun in mind, not more guinea pig Bella. I sent him a jolt of annoyance, and he winced.

“I was thinking we could make things interesting. How about a game of tag with Kate as the chaser?”

“That sounds like fun,” Emmett said, flexing his arms. “I always like a little friendly competition.”

“You like being shocked too?” I asked. “Because that’s what he’s planning.”

Eleazar looked impressed. “That could work. She would have more motivation to protect us. I, of course, will excuse myself from the game, so I can observe properly.”

“I think I will join you,” Carlisle said.

I could see this was going to become a very uneven experiment. They were the ones that wanted the information, so they should suffer through it with the others.

“Edward can observe,” I said, my tone left no room for argument. “If he was playing too, I would be too concentrated on protecting him to make it a fair test.”

 _‘What about me?’_ Jasper asked. _‘Don’t you want to protect me too?’_

I knew his sad expression was affected, so I felt no compunction about leaving him in the game.

_‘Nope.’_

None of them looked particularly enthusiastic at the prospect of being zapped by Kate, but they didn’t argue, probably believing that I could protect them. I could, and would, but that didn’t mean I wouldn’t let her get a couple of jolts in first. My head really had hurt.

“Ready, Kate?” I asked.

She nodded enthusiastically.

“The arena is the clearing,” Eleazar said. “Don’t spread out too far though. I want Kate to be able to change targets quickly. We need to see how fast Bella can adapt. And _please_ keep the jolts low, Kate. This is a test, not an opportunity for you to see how many vampires you can down.”

“Though it would be interesting to see how she manages too,” Carlisle said thoughtfully.

Edward and I positioned ourselves at the edge of the clearing, so I could have an unobstructed view of what was happening.

Emmett took on the role of game master. He checked I was ready, then began the countdown. “Ready. Set. Go!”

There was no doubt about it, Kate was enjoying this far too much. She grabbed Eleazar and Carlisle as soon as they began and jolted them with a little too much force. They flinched back from her as if doing a bizarre break-dance.

My natural instinct was to shield them all at once, but I resisted the urge. It wouldn’t teach us anything about my ability. Instead, I focused on her feet, trying to predict her next target by her direction. She soon worked that out and began swerving and ducking around them all, snapping her hands out randomly as if she was fending off a swarm of bees.

I narrowed my eyes and focused on her alone, letting my shield work reflexively.

“That’s good, Bella,” Edward whispered in my ear.

His voice distracted me for only a split second, but it was enough for Kate to use the opportunity to grip Jasper’s hand and shock him with such force his eyes rolled back in his head as he dropped to the floor.

I was incensed. This was just practice; she was supposed to be careful.

She didn’t seem to notice what she had done, she was too caught up in the game, but my anger raged. I didn’t care that Jasper was already getting to his feet and shaking off the shock. She had hurt him.

Like me, Alice had been distracted by Jasper’s pain. Kate reached out to shock her, but instead of being stopped by my shield, she was thrown back ten feet, her eyes wide with shock and her limbs twitching.

“What happened?” Tanya asked, hurrying to her sister’s side.

“It hurt,” she moaned.

“Did you use the physical shield?” Eleazar asked, disapproval coloring his tone.

I shook my head mutely. I had been protecting Jasper with the physical, giving him a chance to recover before she set upon him again. Whatever had happened to Kate, it was mental. And new.

“She shocked me!” Kate said irritably. “When I reached for Alice, it shocked me.”

I scowled at her. “It was your own stupid fault. You were supposed to be going easy on them, you floored Jasper.”

She looked disbelievingly at him, and he nodded. “I’m sure you didn’t mean to, but it _really_ hurt.”

“Sorry about that,” she said easily. “I was trying to see if I could break through the shield, and I guess I got a little carried away. That doesn’t explain how _I_ was the one that got shocked though. That has never happened before.”

“You were never pitted against Bella before,” Emmett said with satisfaction.

“Can you explain how it felt for you,” Carlisle asked me. “Did you do anything different?”

“No. I was pissed that she’d hurt Jasper, and when I saw her going for Alice, I shielded her, but that was all.”

“This is fascinating,” Eleazar said. He was looking at me with that same awed expression he had when I first dropped my shield for him. It made me uncomfortable.

Edward gasped. “Oh! I didn’t think of it that way. That makes sense.”

“Here we go with the silent conversations,” Emmett moaned.

Edward was still staring at Eleazar, wonder etched over his features. I kicked his shin, perhaps a little harder that was necessary, to get his attention.

“Feel like sharing?” I asked sardonically.

“You’re enhancing them,” Eleazar said, still looking at me with the expression of awe. “Do you know what this could mean?” 

“No, because you’re not speaking English,” I said impatiently. “How about you tell me what you’re talking about.”

“You aren’t tapping into our gifts, exactly,” Edward said. “You are enhancing them, making our own gifts more potent. Jasper is able to control his ability to manipulate emotions now with exact precision. It is probably something he was always capable of, but would have taken centuries of practice to tap into. I am not just reading thoughts, I am broadcasting them. When Kate shocked Jasper, she was using her full force. When you affected her, it was with more force than she had ever managed alone.”

“But why did it hurt me?” Kate asked.

“Because she was angry,” Edward explained. “It was the emotional reaction. You made her angry, and the ability worked accordingly.”

I felt overwhelmed. I wanted to pace to work off some of the tension, but I could see the concern in Jasper’s eyes already. If I showed how much this was bothering me, it would make it harder.

“This is what I saw when we first met,” Eleazar said. “Of course I couldn’t name the ability. It has never been seen before. Gifts are by nature a personal thing; they add power to the holder. You are something different.”

“Aro!” Edward gasped. “He said she was something different. I thought he was referring to the fact she wasn’t one of his guard, but what if he meant it literally? How would he know though?”

“He is thousands of years old, with the ability to read a lifetime’s worth of memories with one touch. Even if he hadn’t encountered it directly, he could have met someone that has.”

“Is this why they spoke with her alone?” Jasper asked. “He wouldn’t have wanted her to affect any of their gifts.”

“I think so. There is no way of knowing exactly how she would have affected them, but I believe her basic good nature could have worked against them. If it works automatically, it could have reacted to Chelsea’s ability and broken their artificial bonds.”

“Do you think she could learn to harness it?” Carlisle asked. “If she was able to work with Alice’s visions…”

If I could work with Alice’s visions… what? I could get caught up with her every time she saw something coming for us. It was too much to handle. I didn’t want any of this. There had to be a reason Eleazar hadn’t heard of this ability before; Aro hid it from him for a reason. I liked being able to use my shield to protect people, but this power was too much for one person; it would make me a target.

“I don’t want to,” I said quietly.

“Don’t want to what?” Carlisle asked.

“I don’t want to harness it. I don’t want any more power than I already have.”

“But don’t you see what an asset this could be?” Eleazar said incredulity coloring his tone. “If you were able to control this ability, you could be repel any attack. You said you are suspicious about Aro’s motivations. If, God forbid, there was an attack, you could use their gifts against them.”

“That’s not Bella though,” Rosalie said thoughtfully. “She isn’t a weapon. She’s a protector.”

“Could have fooled me,” Kate said, scowling at me.

“It’s your own fault she zapped you,” Alice said harshly. “You were going to hurt me.”

“I didn’t mean–”

“I am _not_ going to do it,” I said firmly, cutting across them. “I don’t want to be a weapon, and I won’t.”

“But you could–”

Whatever Edward heard in Eleazar’s thoughts, he clearly didn’t like it. He cut off his words with a fierce glare.

“She doesn’t want to do it,” he said harshly. “It is her choice to make, and she said no. We will respect that.”

“What about the other aspects of your shield?” Carlisle asked. “Are you still willing to work with Eleazar to develop those?”

“No. I’m grateful for all you’ve done to help, but I think we’re done with the experiments now.”

He looked disappointed, but for once I didn’t care what anyone else thought. I was more concerned with what was happening to me.

While they were discussing my potential as a weapon, I felt the void creeping in again.


	18. Let's Get Away From It All

**Edward POV**

Carlisle and Eleazar were disappointed that Bella refused to work with them anymore, but she seemed much happier.

The next morning, we finally caught up with the things we had neglected while training with her shield. She unpacked our rucksacks and separated the clothes which could be laundered and used again, and those that were past saving – all we had worn when in the jungle.

Jasper and Alice joined us as we sorted through the piles of random mementos we had gathered on our travels. To anyone else they would look like trash, but to us, they were reminders. There was a menu card from one of the hotels we had stayed in, a pebble from the beach in Chicago, a fern from the jungle, a container of sand from Isle Esme, and a hundred other things that we lingered over. I pinned the tattered map that had marked our progress on the wall above our bed, and we sat for a while discussing the places we hadn’t yet visited.

We handed out the souvenirs we had brought for the family. Emmett was thrilled with the palm tree lamp Bella had bought him and declared it suitably gaudy.

It was the homecoming we had imagined before we received Alice’s frantic call, and it felt good to finally have this moment with the family.

By late morning, I began to suspect she and Alice were plotting something. They sat whispering together for a while, then announced that they were going into Anchorage to return the hire car. None of us were invited along for the ride, so Jasper and I set up a game of chess to pass the time they were away.

Ordinarily, Alice was the only one that would play games with me as my gift gave me an unfair advantage, but Jasper was now practiced at hiding his thoughts, so I had a new opponent. We were just into our third game when Eleazar and Carmen arrived. I worried that he was planning to press Bella about training with her shield again, but he assured me they had come to give Kate, Tanya, and Irina some time alone.

Unexpectedly, Irina had not left, though she was sulking and only giving monosyllabic responses to questions. Kate and Tanya were still very upset about what she had done, but their love for her overcame their anger. The sisters had been together for over a thousand years, and their bonds were strong.

“She has been advised to steer clear of you all for a while,” Carmen explained. “She agreed willingly. I think her confrontation with Bella scared her more than she was willing to admit.”

“Hell yeah it did,” Emmett said happily. “Bella kicked her ass. I didn’t know she had it in her.”

“None of us did,” said Rosalie thoughtfully. “I don’t mind admitting it was a little scary to watch.”

“As long as you don’t annoy her, you should be fine,” Jasper reassured her, a smile quirking the corner of his lips.

She laughed. “She wasn’t wrong, though. She really is capable of defending herself.”

“But not as well as she defends others,” I mused, thinking of her reasoning for showing Aro her thoughts.

“You are talking about her shield?” Eleazar asked.

“In a way,” I said. “She showed me what had happened in Volterra. She didn’t drop her shield until Aro had proven he already knew about us and the pack. The only thing he didn’t know was exactly how much he stood to gain by recruiting her. She knew that, but showed him anyway, hoping she could protect the rest of us. She defends us because that is what scares her.”

“She really is a remarkable person,” he said thoughtfully. “I understand her reasoning for not wanting to work to enhance her shield, but I admit it is frustrating to not be able to test it out. The possibilities are endless.”

“Do you think she is unique, or could this have happened before?” Jasper asked.

“I think it has happened before,” he said. “The fact Aro went so far as to give her a private audience makes me sure he suspected something. I am considering tracking down the Romanians to ask them if they have heard of it.”

“I thought they were all destroyed by the Volturi,” Esme said.

“Most of them were. Aro left two alive, Stefan and Vladimir, as a warning to other vampires of the risk of opposing them. As you can imagine, they are extremely bitter towards the Volturi. I believe it would be advisable for us to learn all we can about the possibility, even if Bella refuses to harness it.”

Their discussion was cut off by Bella and Alice’s return. We heard their laughter long before we saw them. I stood at the window and watched as they came into view. Bizarrely, Alice was clinging to Bella’s back as she ran towards the house. I gathered from Alice’s thoughts that Bella wanted to see how it felt for me to carry her around all those times when she was human.

“I’ve got a surprise for you,” she sang as they came into the house. She dropped Alice onto Jasper’s lap, and then greeted me with a kiss.

She pulled a glossy brochure from her purse and handed it to me. I examined it and saw it was the sales catalogue for the SUV we had used when travelling.

“I figured you’d be missing your baby, so I got you another,” she said happily.

“You bought me a car?” I said incredulously.

“Technically you brought yourself a car. I used your credit card, but I didn’t think you’d mind.”

“Of course I don’t, what’s mine is yours,” I said, still gazing at the brochure in my hand.

“It will be here next week. I wasn’t sure of all the extras you had in the old one, so I got the lot. I figure if we go back to Vegas, we can pick the other one up and Esme can have it. She’s the only one without a car now.”

“You haven’t got a car,” Rosalie observed. “Neither has Jasper.”

“True, but I got myself a little something special today too.” She waved another brochure in the air. “Say hello to _my_ baby.”

“The Ducati?” Jasper asked, snatching the brochure from her hand.

“Yep. You like?”

He nodded, running his eyes over the list of specifications.

“That’s good,” Alice said, grinning widely. “Because you’ve got one too. It was Bella’s idea. She thought you might feel left out.”

He gaped at her, then looked at Bella.

She laughed. “Yeah, me too,” she said in response to an unheard remark.

Bella had never liked excess spending, and buying this, when we had the exact same thing waiting in Vegas, was the definition of excess. This was an unexpected, but thrilling development. I considered all the things I could buy her in return. I really did like the idea of an Isle Isabella…

xXx

**Bella POV**

Our bikes and the SUV were delivered a week later. Rosalie confiscated them immediately and refused to return them until she had finished her modifications. I tried to speed up the process by helping, but was bored stupid after the first few hours.

I was impatient for her to finish as when they were done, Jasper and I were going to test them out on an extended hunting trip. We had barely had any time alone together since Edward and I returned from our honeymoon, and I was looking forward to it.

While we were away, Edward and Alice were going to take a trip to Vegas to pick up the SUV for Esme. I suspected they were going to use the opportunity to swindle the casinos out of some of their profits while they were there.

Finally, after a week ensconced in the garage, Rosalie declared the bikes fit for purpose; and we were able to plan our trip. We decided on the Wapusk National Park. It was supposed to be very picturesque, and there were areas that were almost completely inaccessible to humans, so we would be able to relax the human act for a while. 

One good thing about Rosalie delaying our departure was that we were home when news came of Irina’s latest absence. Apparently, she told Tanya she needed some time alone to mourn Laurent. I was pleased she was gone. I was always overly aware of her close presence, especially when I was hunting. To say I didn’t like her was a gross understatement. I hated her with a passion. The possibility of doing her serious harm was constantly appealing. It was only the knowledge that she was loved by people I cared about that stopped me tracking her down and using her as a test subject for my physical shield.

The morning of our departure, I packed up a small rucksack, kissed Edward goodbye, and hugged to the rest of the family. All except Emmett that is; he was sulking because we hadn’t invited him along. Edward and Alice said he was welcome to join them in their trip, but he refused.

“We’ll only be gone a few days,” I assured an anxious Esme. I had come to accept the fact she was always going to worry; it was just who she was. As long as she didn’t become overbearing, I could live with it.

“Actually you’ll be gone a week,” Alice corrected. “You’ll get a surprise on the way home.”

I quirked an eyebrow at her, but she didn’t elaborate. Judging by Jasper’s look of confusion, she hadn’t told him about this surprise either. 

Rosalie’s modifications were well worth the wait. We made journey in half the time it should have taken. We had to leave the bikes in Manitoba and go the rest of the way on foot, but neither of us minded. It was good to stretch our legs and allow ourselves to be a little wild.

I told Jasper about our time in the Amazon and how much I enjoyed letting the human act drop completely. He told me about his early years as part of Maria’s army.

“There was never a need to maintain a human act then,” he said. “If someone saw us for what we were, we killed them.” He watched me carefully as he said it, judging my reaction.

“Do you ever regret the choice to change diet?” I asked.

“Only once,” he said, avoiding my eye. “After you ran from us, I considered returning to the human diet. My main reason for changing diet was the depression that haunted me from feeling the emotions of my prey. After we had been searching a year, I came close to giving up completely. It seemed pointless to deny myself the pleasure of human blood when I was already miserable.”

I felt a pang of guilt for what I had done, which naturally he felt.

“Don’t feel bad, I may have considered it, but it was you that stopped me acting on it, or rather you and Alice. My decision was apparently made as she saw a vision of me with red eyes. She was understanding, as always, but I knew she hated the idea. She asked how I would feel when we found you to look at you with red eyes.”

“It wouldn’t have changed anything for me,” I said. “You’d still be Jasper.”

“Because you are ridiculously forgiving about these things, but _I_ would have been ashamed. It wasn’t until you came back that I realized just how bad it would have felt.”

“Then I’m glad you didn’t,” I said, squeezing his hand.

We settled for the night, deep in the wilderness of the park. Jasper was amused that I built a small bonfire for us.

“I like the warmth,” I said defensively.

“You’re so human,” he chuckled. “It’s not an insult.” He hurried to explain, seeing my frown. “I think it’s nice that you appreciate the human things still. It will make things easier for you. Eternity is a long time to live, and things can get dull.”

“Do you get bored?” I asked, lying back and looking up at the stars.

“I used to,” he said, lying down beside me. “That was before you arrived, though. Since you joined the family, things have been anything but boring.”

“I do my best,” I said happily.

He turned his head to survey me critically. “You really do, don’t you.”

I could see the conversation turning in a serious direction, and I didn’t want to spoil the light mood, so I jumped to my feet and went in search of more firewood.

“You’re going to talk about this eventually you know!” he called after me.

That was probably true, but it didn’t mean I was in a hurry to do it. I hadn’t told anyone about feeling the void again, not even Edward. There was nothing that could be done about it, so there was nothing to be gained from having the others worry too.

Later that night, we lay beside the fire looking up at the stars. I rolled onto my side and curled up as if going to sleep. I expected a comment about my being ‘human’ but none came. Instead, he gave me a odd unnameable look and smiled.

“Tell me a story,” I said.

“Sure, is a fairy tale okay?” he asked, making no effort to hide his amusement.

I poked his side, making him curl away from me.

“Tell me a real story, something that happened before I knew you.”

“Have I told you about my time with Peter and Charlotte?” he asked.

I shook my head. “I know you let them leave Maria’s army, and that they came back for you, but that’s all. I heard you telling the Pack about it when I was sleeping.”

“When you were sleeping,” he said quietly, then shook his head as if fending off an upsetting thought. “Well, Peter was one of the only newborns to make it past his first year…”

I listened as he told me how he and Peter had become friends, and then Charlotte’s change and their escape. I closed my eyes and let his words create the pictures in my mind.

When he had finished telling me of his meeting with Alice – a story I _had_ heard before – he turned to me. “Your turn to tell a story.”

I considered for a moment, wondering what he would find interesting. There were a lot of things that had happened while Edward and I were travelling that made fun stories, but I wanted to tell him something from ‘before’ too.

I told him the story of how I found the bikes Jacob and I had repaired, and the ill advised riding lessons he gave me.

He eyed me curiously as I finished. “You’re happy talking about Jacob, even after what he did to you?” he asked.

“Yes. The boy I knew, and the person he became later, are two very different people. It wasn’t Jacob Black that lost control and killed my father; it was the werewolf. What happened to him wasn’t his fault, nor was what he did to me.”

“You’re a remarkable person, Isabella Cullen.”

I shrugged, uncomfortable under his close scrutiny. “Tell me another story.”

We spent the night exchanging stories of our lives. He told me about the vague human memories he had, and I told him some of my favorite moments from my childhood summers in Forks.

When dawn broke, he jumped to his feet and announced he had a surprise for me.

We ran for miles, finally passing through the trees into a wide expanse of snow covered ice. The view was beautiful, but even more magnificent was the wildlife. Polar bears. Hundreds of them, lying on the snow, and small cubs gamboling about their mothers.

“Oh,” I sighed. “Look at them.”

I pulled my camera from my rucksack and started snapping pictures of them. I wished I could get closer, but they were already beginning to notice our presence. If we were too close, they would recognize our danger as predators and run.

“Bella, what are you doing?” Jasper asked.

I turned to him and snapped a picture. It made a good candid. He was gaping at me as if I had expressed a desire to take one home as a pet. Which actually wasn’t a bad idea.

“Taking pictures,” I said. “Obviously.”

“Why are you taking pictures when you could be eating them?”

“You want me to hunt them!” I asked incredulously.

“Duh.”

“But they’re so cute.” 

“Adorable,” he deadpanned. “Also delicious. Now go get one.”

“I can’t. There are babies there too. Look how little and cute they are.”

“They’re polar bears, the animal blood version of caviar, and you think they’re cute?”

He wasn’t speaking to me as much as he was himself, but I nodded happily.

“Bella, do you understand what a rare chance this is? We have to be careful how many we hunt because of declining numbers. You have the opportunity to taste something halfway decent for a change, and you want to take photos instead?”

“Yep. You’re not hunting them either.”

“The hell I’m not,” he snorted, starting toward them.

I snapped my shield around his ankles, making him face plant on the snow.

“Bella!” he shouted, startling the bears and sending them running for the water.

“Now look what you’ve done,” I said, trying to get a last few photos before they all disappeared.

He got to his feet and glared balefully at me.

“Oh suck it up,” I chuckled. “You’d have felt guilty if you left one of those cute cubs an orphan.”

“I really wouldn’t. I would have felt sated for a change. Besides, you’d have taken it home to keep as a pet.”

I grinned. He really did know me too well.

xXx

We hunted on the way back to Manitoba to collect the bikes.

Jasper’s bad mood following the aborted polar bear hunt didn’t last. He was soon laughing at the prospect of telling everyone about my reaction to the polar bears. I was sure Emmett would find it funny that I refused to hunt them, but I thought Esme, at least, would understand.

I had almost forgotten Alice’s assertions that we were going to get a surprise on our way home, until we reached the gas station we had left our bikes at. There was a strong scent of vampire where they had been parked, but the bikes were nowhere in sight.

I hissed angrily. “Someone stole our bikes! Some asshole nomad has stolen _my_ bike!”

Contrary to my anger, Jasper seemed amused. “Yes, some asshole nomad,” he said loudly. “Don’t worry, we’ll find them, and you can kick their ass.”

Damn right I would. I didn’t care if this was Aro and his cronies screwing with me. I was pissed. 

I inhaled deeply, following the scent of the unknown vampire. It was still strong and unusually, it wasn’t mixed with the exhaust of the engine. They hadn’t ridden the bikes away.

Jasper was grinning like a fool. If I didn’t know better, I would have said he planned this as revenge for the bear hunt.

The scent led back into the forest we had just exited. I caught sight of a gleam of metal and ran forward.

Two vampires were standing with our bikes. One male and one female. They both had light blonde hair and identical grins.

“Look at this Charlotte,” the male said. “It’s the vampire hide and seek champion.”

Jasper snorted behind me. “Bella, I would like to introduce you to the asshole nomads, also known as Peter and Charlotte.”

Peter started forward and gave Jasper a one-armed hug. “Good to see you, Jasper.”

“You too,” he said, kissing Charlotte on the cheek. “What are you doing this far north?”

“We were on our way to see you actually. We heard what happened in Nome and wanted to make sure you guys were okay.”

“What happened in Nome?” Jasper said questioningly. 

“You mean you haven’t heard?” Peter took a newspaper page from his pocket and held it out to Jasper.

It was the headline of the New York Times. Printed across the page in bold black capitals was: **MASSACRE IN ALASKA! HUNDRED DEAD IN ONE NIGHT!**


	19. Do You Know Why

** Jasper POV **

Bella paled as she read the headline. Her emotions were blocked, but I could see the stress in her features. It was horrific. 

“A 911 call in the early hours of the morning told of a family found dead in their home,” I read aloud. “It soon transpired that this was not an isolated incident. No official numbers have been given yet, but authorities suspect the final death toll will be in the region of one-hundred men, women, and children. Bodies found both in private homes and public areas.”

“Who would have done this?” she asked plaintively. 

“The latest theory is that a group of polar bears were driven into the city by hunger,” Peter said. “It’s a load of bullshit, though. What they don’t tell you there is that of the hundreds of dead, most of them were native Alaskans. This wasn’t an animal.”

Bella pulled her phone from her pocket and dialed. A moment later, Edward answered. 

“We’ve just heard the news. Are you home yet?”

“No, we’re still in Manitoba. Where are you?”

“We’re just passing through the border now. Head to Edmonton and we’ll wait for you there.” 

“Okay. Edward, I…”

“I know, love. I’ll be with you very soon. Call home and tell them we’re on our way.”

“Will they be there?” she asked. “Wouldn’t they have gone there to help.”

Peter quirked an eyebrow at me questioningly, but I shook my head. Bella wouldn’t think of the risks of the situation, only the people that needed help. 

“They’ll be home, love,” he said simply. 

I made the call home myself. Emmett answered, and we spoke briefly. He assured me that everyone was okay, but anxious. 

Bella took her bike from Charlotte and gunned the engine impatiently. “Who’s riding with me?” she asked. 

I tossed Peter the keys to my bike and climbed on behind her. She didn’t wait for them before pulling out of the parking lot and onto the road. 

Like her, I was eager to get back to my mate. I knew Alice would have been upset that she hadn’t seen this coming, even though it was unlikely we could have done anything if we had known. This was something we had all been through before, all except Bella that is. 

I felt the tension in her as we rode along the roads at breakneck speeds, but I didn’t try to soothe her. I knew the only thing that would help her now was Edward, and we would be with him soon. 

It was an interesting contradiction to the way I had felt before they went away together. Then, I had wanted to be with her to help her through her grief. Now, I understood she needed him more than me for this. Rather than the jealousy I expected to feel at this, I felt relief. There were still things she needed me for, but this wasn’t one of them.

Alice and Edward were waiting for us when we arrived in Edmonton. 

Alice jumped straight into my arms, and I held her close to me. I could feel her guilt and sorrow, and I did all I could to soothe her. 

Edward held Bella, and though they weren’t speaking aloud, I was sure they were communicating through their thoughts. His eyes bored into hers, concern etched on his features. 

“Now, why don’t we get greeted like that?” Peter asked, breaking the moment. “We go years without seeing them, and they don’t even notice us.”

Alice disentangled herself from my arms and hugged Charlotte. 

“Sorry, Peter,” she said. “You’re just not that special after all.”

He reached out to tousle her hair, but she dodged him with a laugh. 

“Did you know this was going to happen, Alice?” Bella asked. 

“No,” she said horrorstruck. “I saw you meeting Peter and Charlotte in Yukon. I didn’t see anything of what happened in Nome. Whatever happened there, changed your path.” 

“What did happen?” I asked. “Do you know anything?”

“No more than you do,” Edward said. “We didn’t hear about it until we stopped for gas on the way home. There are lots of rumors going around, but nothing concrete. I think it would be wise to wait until we get back to the family to discuss this further.”

He and Bella took the SUV, and Alice joined me on Bella’s bike for the drive home. I let them pull out ahead of us and gave them a few minutes head start before following. 

“Are you okay?” I asked Alice. 

“Yeah. I’m upset that I didn’t see it coming, but the scale of this thing is too big. We couldn’t have interfered without risking exposure, and we definitely can’t now.” She looked sadly at the road Edward and Bella had just disappeared along. “This is going to be very difficult for her to understand.”

“I know. But Bella understands the need to keep the secret as well as any of us. She’ll see the risk.”

xXx

We arrived home late that evening. 

The family were gathered around the TV watching a news report on the massacre. They were discussing the possibility of it being a gang related incident, but the remote area ruled it out to anyone with half a brain. There were no roads into Nome; the only access was by air. For humans at least.

Bella sat on the arm of Esme’s chair, staring at the TV with horror. On the screen was an image of an school gymnasium. On the floor was row upon row of bodies covered in sheets and blankets. Though they were covered, it was easy to see the level of mutilation the people had suffered by the way the sheets covering them fell. Some of them were so small they could only have been that of a child.

“Why are they still there?” Bella asked.

“It’s chaos,” Carlisle said softly. “Whole families were killed. They are trying to track the next of kin now, but it’s difficult. It’s also a matter of logistics. Nome is isolated, and the people that would usually deal with these situations, police, and doctors are all dead or grieving for someone they loved that had died.”

“Why aren’t we helping then?” she demanded. “We can get there. You, Rosalie, and Edward are doctors.”

“We can’t risk it, love,” Edward said, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. “The media are there in force. It would only take a moment of sunlight, or one of our faces on camera to destroy it all.”

She huffed and kicked at a chair bad temperedly. This was her first experience of the limitations of our kind in the face of this much death. We had all seen it before multiple times and had learned that sometimes we had to protect ourselves before others. 

“This is all so wrong,” she said miserably. “We could save people.”

“We couldn’t,” Carlisle said. “Leaving aside the risk of exposure for the moment, there isn’t anyone left to save. There are dozens of dead, even more still missing, but no injured. The attacks seem to have been fatal in every instance.”

“This wasn’t a human crime,” Peter said solemnly, looking to me. “The damage that was inflicted, the speed of the attacks. This was supernatural.”

“Newborns?” Emmett suggested. 

“It’s possible, but I don’t think so. The location is so remote, and there is nothing to be gained by targeting it. It can’t be for territory. They barely left anyone alive. Whoever, or whatever, did this, they are risking it all. The Volturi have to be investigating it soon, if they aren’t already.”

“I can’t see them,” Alice said. “I’ve only met Santiago, and he’s next to useless when looking for their decisions. He seems to spend most of his time hanging around the city at night. I could use a little help…”

She looked at Bella pointedly, but she shook her head. 

“No,” she said firmly. “I’m not doing it. If they are coming, they’re coming. There is nothing we can do about it, and I am not going to add to the allure by screwing around with your gift.”

“Umm… what?” Peter began, but I caught his eye, and he cut off mid sentence. “Never mind.”

A new report began, telling of how the SERC were flying a team into Nome to deal with the situation. 

“There, they don’t need us after all,” Esme said reaching for Bella’s hand. She was trying to comfort her, but it failed. Bella marched out of the house, slamming the door hard behind her.

“Perhaps I should talk to her,” Carlisle said tentatively.

“I’ve got it,” Edward said, getting to his feet. “Jasper, can you help me out.”

_ I don’t know that she will let me help her, _ I thought to him. 

“I don’t imagine she will. Not with your gift at least. But you can still help her.”

We followed the sound of crashing trees into the forest and found her standing in a newly made clearing, surrounded by pulped wood. She didn’t turn when we approached. Her focus was on a 50ft spruce. Her eyes narrowed, and the tree literally exploded into sawdust. 

“What the hell?” I gasped. 

“Shield,” she said simply. “The first time was an accident, but now I think it’s kinda cool.”

Edward wrapped an arm around her shoulder and pulled her to him. 

“I’m sorry you are upset about this,” he said. “But we can’t do anything to help them. It is too dangerous for us to go there.”

“I know, and I understand that, but it still sucks.”

“I don’t think you do understand,” I said carefully. “Vietnam 1968. Tangshan 1976. Chernobyl 1986. 1995 Oklahoma. These are all things Alice saw coming, and we had no choice but to sit back and watch them happen. I know it goes against your basic nature to be selfish, but sometimes you have to be.”

She scowled and another tree exploded into pulp. “I hate it,” she said bitterly. “What’s the point of having all this power if we can’t protect people?” 

“We have to protect ourselves first,” Edward said. “Peter was right; this wasn’t a human crime. Whether it’s newborns, or a suicidally stupid mature vampire, we need to be on our guard." 

“How exactly did you to this?” I asked curiously, looking at the pulped trees around us.

“Wrap it in the shield and then constrict it,” she said. “Why?”

I was wondering if it would work with something other than wood. I knew she hated the idea of using her shield as an weapon, but if she could do this to a vampire… 

I saw the sadness still lingering in her eyes and shook my head. 

“No reason, just curious.”

xXx

If the Volturi came to Alaska, they did it extremely covertly. None of us saw any sign of their presence. 

After a few weeks had passed, and the attention faded, Carlisle, Peter, and I took a trip to Nome to see if we could find any scent that would tell us who or what had happened. There was no scent of vampire, but the sheer number of humans that had passed through the area may have overpowered the scent. 

We had not been able to examine any of the casualties, but we were fairly sure they were the victims of a vampire attack. The official story on the massacre was that a group of bears – likely polar bears – had been driven into the area by hunger. It was astonishing to us all that the human accepted this, even the least intelligent of them had to see the fact there were huge flaws in the theory. 

Perhaps it was callous of us, but we all tried to ignore it as much as possible after that. We were alert for signs of vampires in the area, but other than that we tried to get on with life as much as possible. 

Peter and Charlotte decided to stay in the area for a while, though they maintained their natural diet, going into the city to hunt. Charlotte enjoyed having some home comforts for a change, and Peter was always willing to do whatever she wanted. Like so many before them, they joined the ranks of Bella’s loved ones. 

Edward said she worried about people wanting to please her, apparently Rosalie had remarked on it before. There was something about her that incited loyalty, though it was nothing she did consciously. Peter was the one that summed it up best. 

“It’s because she is so innocent,” he explained. “She’s like a kid in a way. Don’t get me wrong. She’s as tough as nails and can kick ass in a fight, but she’s also innocent. You want to protect that, because it doesn’t happen often in our kind.”

He knew all about her ability to kick ass. He found the fact she had evaded us for two years hilarious – and teased her and us mercilessly about it. One day he made one comment too many, and she had flung him through a tree with her shield. 

Eleazar visited one afternoon and told us he and Carmen were going away for a while to try and find the Romanians. He wanted to know if there had ever been a gift like Bella’s before. 

“Go if you like,” she said blithely when he explained his plan. “But if you think it will make a difference tome, you’re wasting your time. I don’t care how awesome it is. I am not screwing with other peoples’ gifts.”

“I am merely hoping to gain information,” he lied. “Even working with the theory is fascinating.”

“Then you enjoy yourself.” 

Carlisle and Eleazar spent some time together poring over maps and trying to work out where they may find the Romanians now. Aro kept them constantly on the move with the threat of Demetri, though they liked to keep within Europe as much as possible. 

The same week they went away Bella started her high school classes online. She was working steadily through the credits she needed, and Edward was researching possible colleges for them to attend. We hadn’t widely discussed the future. I assumed we would spend a few more years here before returning to the college/work persona’s we usually kept, but the eagerness with which they discussed college life made me wonder. The blueprints Esme had been working on for Edward and Bella’s house had never been mentioned, though I was sure Edward had heard of them through someone’s thoughts.

With the exception of Bella, who seemed happy to do her school work and spend time with the family, we all seemed to be waiting for something to happen to tell us what would happen next. 

A month later it did. 


	20. Pale Moon

**Bella POV**

I was worried about Esme.

She had been quiet for a week and seemed unusually observant of us all.

Alice and Jasper had gone away for a couple of days with Peter and Charlotte, and she had been on edge the whole time they were away. I worried that Alice had seen something coming and was hiding it from me, but Edward assured me it wasn’t that. He wouldn’t tell me what was troubling her, though.

There had been another incident in Watson Lake a month ago, but when we discussed it as a family, she seemed fairly sanguine about it; so I didn’t this would be what was troubling her. Sixteen people had been found dead one morning, and there were another ten missing. It wasn’t on the same scale as Nome, but it was still tragic. It had made headlines because it had been a small First Nation Reserve that was targeted. After Nome, the media were playing with the possibility of it a racially motivated gang.

One morning, I caught her watching Emmett and I wrestling from the window. I was working with my shield. Carlisle said he had noticed I used it when wrestling as a second skin. Emmett was overjoyed to discover the reason for me kicking his ass every time and challenged me to fight without it.

She flinched every time we made contact; the longer we went on, the more upset she seemed to become. I called a halt to our bout and went inside to see her. She hurried to look like she was absorbed in the magazine she was reading, but didn’t manage it very well.

“What’s wrong?” I asked, sitting beside her and holding her hand. 

“Nothing, dear,” she lied. 

“Do you want to go for a walk?” I hoped I would be able to get her to open up to me if there were less ears listening.

“I would like that,” she said with a soft smile.

She didn’t speak as we walked, and neither did I. I had learned from Jasper that it was easier to draw someone into talking if you yourself remained silent. It was a clever trick and eventually worked.

“I don’t like this time of year,” she said.

I looked around, searching for something negative to spur her feelings. It was late June, and as far as I could see, it was a beautiful time of year. The lush grass was dotted with multicolor wildflowers, and the sun was bright.

I considered this for a moment, and realized it wasn’t the place she was referring to, but the _time_.

“What happened?” I asked.

She smiled at me sadly. “You did.”

I fought to control my features, but her words had hurt me. What had I done to make her so unhappy?

She cupped my chin and lifted my face to meet her eye. “No, sweetheart,” she said softly. “It’s nothing you did wrong.”

She led us over to a small hillock and pulled me down to sit beside her. “Three years ago to the day, I watched my family go off to fight while I was left to look after you. When Victoria came for you, I couldn’t protect you. If your shield hadn’t manifested, she would have killed you. As it was, you almost died because of it.”

“But you did save me. You killed Victoria and got hurt in the process.” I eyed the small scar on her neck. I hated that she had been hurt protecting me. “Is that why you have been so sad these past few days?”

She nodded.

“Well, that’s just stupid. I’m not dead. I’m here and I’m fine. Honestly, Mom, you are as bad as Edward for the guilt–”

My words were cut off as she crushed me against her chest in a fierce embrace.

“What’s wrong?” I asked.

“You called me Mom,” she said happily.

“I always call you Mom.”

“Not since you came back from your honeymoon. You have been so distant; I was worried I had spoiled it by being too overbearing.”

Poor Esme. If she would have just asked me what I was feeling, I could have set her mind at ease weeks ago. I was not the most open of people. I kept more than a few secrets, but so many of them were to protect other people.

“You haven’t spoiled anything,” I assured her. “I didn’t even realize I stopped calling you mom, but I will make sure I do it in future.”

I burrowed my face into her neck and drew deep breaths of her comforting scent.

She smoothed back my hair, in slow, soothing strokes. “Bella.”

“Hmmm”

“Would you like to go away for a few days together? We could take a hunting trip, or maybe we could go to Nome.”

The damage to the city had been more than the human fatalities. Red tape had held up the funding for the burial of the deceased, and the economy was trashed. We had made some hefty donations to the appeal. I knew from the online reports that they were using the excess donations to develop a memorial for the victims of, what they called, the ‘Nome Massacre’. I liked the idea of visiting the place. Not only to pay my respects to the victims, but to see if I could sense anything about what had happened there.

“That sounds nice. Just us?”

“I was thinking we could ask Rosalie, too. I think she has been feeling the disconnection lately, too.”

I groaned. Not only had I missed what was happening with Esme, I had apparently missed Rosalie’s unhappiness too. I had made time for Jasper, but not Rosalie. I owed her just as much as Jasper for what she did while I was sleeping, but she had been overlooked.

“It was just an idea,” she said, misunderstanding my reaction.

“No, it’s not that. I’d like to ask Rose. I didn’t notice I had been neglecting my relationship with her too. When I was human, I thought vampires had it easy. So much time in the day to do what you want, but it seems to rush past in a blur.”

“It takes some getting used to. It’s all about balancing. You’ll get it soon enough.”

xXx

When we got back to the house, we tracked Rosalie down and told her about our idea to visit Nome. She was eager to come along and went to change while Esme and I dealt with the pouting males. Carlisle included. They didn’t understand the concept of ‘girl time’ and – Emmett – insisted that they should come along for our protection.

Alice and Jasper were out hunting, so we said our goodbyes to the others and started the trek to Nome. It was late early evening when we left, and by the time we drew into sight of the city, it was almost eleven.

“I want to show you something before we go further,” Esme said, halting us in our tracks. She looked around, searching for a landmark to get her bearings, then led us north.

“Carlisle came here once to see the gold rush of the 1900’s,” she said. “We came back a few years after my change to see what was left. There is very little evidence of what had been here before but… ah, here it is.”

She pointed at some vague shapes on the horizon. As we approached, they became clearer. There were rusted shells of old trains.

“They were building railroad for the gold rush, but the company building the line went bust,” she explained. 

It was a depressing sight. What would once have been a sign of changing times and possibilities, were now rusted relics. I ran my hand over one of the ancient carriages and tried to imagine the way it would have looked then with the shining metal and glossed paint.

“Can you smell that?” Rosalie asked.

I nodded mutely. It was a strange scent, spoiled like sour milk, but it was not milk. It was blood.

Every nerve in my body was screaming at me to run. My shield flexed. I sent it out to cover us all, molding it to our forms, but kept it elastic so we could move.

“I think we should leave it,” I said trying to sound calm.

“It could be a person,” Esme said. “The scent is human, but there is something wrong. What if they’ve been hurt? We can’t just leave them!”

Rosalie huffed in exasperation. “I really don’t think… Okay, fine.”

Esme was already making her way towards the rusted shell of the engine.

“Hello. Is there someone there?”

There was no audible response, but the engine creaked as something shifted inside. I drew closer and noted the sound of a heartbeat through the howling wind. Esme was right. There was someone there.

I forgot my caution and hurried forward. It could be a victim of the massacre, driven to hide by fear and now trapped. I caught Esme’s arm and shook my head. If any of us was going to help this person, it would be me. I was the only one without the temptation of human blood.

I moved around the side of the engine slowly. “Are you okay? Have you been hurt? My name is Bella. I can–”

It happened so fast, comprehension didn’t come until it was too late. The moon rose, and there was a harsh snarling sound as a mass of brown fur obscured my vision. My shield reacted automatically. It blocked the raking claws of the beast an inch from my face and held it away from me.

It was a wolf. Not like the wolves in the pack, but a genuine Child of the Moon. It towered over me by at least two feet, even though its back and shoulders were hunched. Its fur was coarse and matted. Its elongated nose and mouth gave it a distinctly canine look, despite the fact it stood upright. It clicked in my mind like pieces of a jigsaw puzzle. The massacre, the missing persons, the remote location, it was all them. 

“Bella!” I heard Esme’s scream, but couldn’t answer immediately as I was so stunned by what had just happened. The beast was snarling and roaring, throwing itself against the shield. Fighting to get to me.

“Esme, no!”

Rosalie’s warning shout came too late; Esme was already running to my side. My shield reacted automatically, flinging her and Rosalie away from me. With no walls to halt them, they flew back fifty feet before crashing to the ground.

The split second’s loss of focus was all the wolf needed. It raked a claw across my stomach leaving pain like burning lava in its wake. Even as it struck, my shield was compensating for the mistake. It encased the wolf in an impenetrable bubble.

I dropped to my knees holding my stomach. I felt the tug of the void and shoved it away with all my might. I would _not_ lose myself now.

I could hear Rosalie and Esme screaming my name, and I tried to find my voice to respond, but the pain had stolen my breath.

I took a deep breath and looked down. It was worse than I thought. Five deeps lines of torn flesh were gouged out of my stomach. It was already healing at the edges, but the centre was too deep for the edges to meet. I tugged my jacket tight over the wound and slowly pushed myself to a standing position, then turned to face them.

Esme and Rosalie were still held in place by the shield fifty feet away. Esme’s hands were held up in front of her as if she was pressed against a window.

“Oh God, Bella, are you okay?” Rosalie asked, her tone agonized.

“I’m okay,” I said hoarsely. “I can’t drop the shield though. If I get it wrong, I may let it loose instead of you. Can you move back?”

Rosalie walked back a few paces and nodded.

“Okay. Esme, you need to go back to the house and tell them what has happened. We need Carlisle. I don’t know what to do _._ ”

“I’m not leaving you–”

“Yes, you are,” I said firmly. “We need help.”

God knows I did. The pain in my stomach was so intense it was hard to think of anything else.

She looked anguished, and I locked eyes with her. “Please, Mom. I don’t know what to do. I need Carlisle.”

She gave me one last desperate look, then nodded and turned on her heel and ran.

The wolf was still throwing itself at the shield, growls and snarls ripping through its throat. I checked the horizon and saw Esme was already out of sight. I could still feel her distinctive spark under my shield and knew she was protected.

“Are you really okay?” Rosalie asked.

I shook my head, and made her shield elastic, so she could come forward. She felt the shift and started, then scowled at me.

“I had to make her go,” I said unapologetically.

She ran forward and threw her arms around my neck, pulling me into a crushing hug. I whimpered as a new slash of pain tore across my stomach.

“Oh God, Bella. What happened?”

“It caught me off guard,” I moaned, holding open my jacket to show her the wound. It had healed a little more now, but the deepest gouges were still there.

She hissed as she caught sight of it. Her face transforming from panic, to anger, then concern as the level headed protector took over.

“This is going to hurt,” she warned, tearing my shirt to expose the wound completely.

“It already does,” I moaned.

My moan became a scream as she pinched the edges of the first slash together.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered.

It was agonizing for a few seconds, then there was a cool numb relief. She took her hand away and I saw the skin had mended completely, there was not even a trace of scarring.

“Do the others,” I instructed.

Prepared for the pain, I was able to endure it with only a hiss as she healed the other four slashes. When she finished, there was a clear patch of pale skin, no sign there had ever been an injury at all. Jasper had told me about his scars before, and I knew it was the foreign venom that left his skin marred, but I had never imagined something so horrific could be healed so completely and so fast.

Now the pain was taken care of, I could concentrate on the wolf again. The clothes it must have been wearing when the change happened were now tattered and torn. The denim of its jeans bulged awkwardly at the knees where the joints had stretched and swelled. It was throwing itself against the barrier of my shield. Each time it made impact with the shield, it whined.

I wondered how much of the human was still there, trapped by the wolf. Did it know what had happened? I looked into the fathomless black eyes and found no humanity there. The person it had been was given over to the wolf completely. It was ferocious, but also pitiful. I felt an irrational urge to comfort it.

I couldn’t comfort it, but I could stop it hurting. I pulled my shield in close around it, halting its lunges. It put more strain on my mind, but it didn’t hurt the way it had when we had been testing my physical shield.

I sank down onto the ground and wrapped my arms around my knees. Never taking my eyes from the wolf, I spoke to Rosalie.

“There are more of them somewhere.”

“There are?” Her eyes scanned the horizon, horror etched on her features.

“Not here. At least, I don’t think so; I am thinking of the massacre. There must have been more wolves to do that much damage in one night.”

“Probably.” She stared up at the moon; it was a pale face in the dusky twilight.

The strange Alaskan twilight nights made the moon phases confusing.

One positive of the short night was that we wouldn’t have to wait long for the moon to set and the wolf to change back to its human form. Once it did, we could talk to it. Find out why they had attacked Nome.

Looking at the snarling, slobbering beast in front of us, it was easy to imagine how it had happened. Eleazar had told me about their kind. They didn’t live as packs, but for the amount of victims there had to have been far more than this lone wolf.

We sat in silence waiting for the moon to set. Rosalie was uncomfortable waiting, but when I suggested she follow Esme back, she gave me a look that was more suited to me having suggested she whip off her top off and give the wolf a lap dance.

The moon was setting when we heard footsteps approaching. I felt a wave of relief, thinking it was the others coming to help us, but the sound was wrong. There were too many of them, and they weren’t running. In fact, the sound was slow and steady, a march.

I knew even before they came into sight, who it would be, and an uncontrollable whimper escaped my lips.

“What is it?” she asked.

“Volturi.”


	21. I'm Not Afraid

**Bella POV**

They drew into sight; their black cloaks whipped around them in the strong wind. They were hooded, but I knew three of them by their obvious size: Felix, Jane, and Alec.

Rosalie’s hand gripped mine tightly. “What do we do?” she moaned.

“Stay calm and let me do the talking,” I said softly, giving her hand a quick squeeze, then releasing it. I didn’t want to appear weak.

They came to a halt in front of us, and the figure in the center threw back his hood. White blond hair framed the ancient face.

“Isabella, this is an unexpected pleasure.”

“Caius.” I greeted him with a polite nod.

Rosalie was gaping at him with horror. I wanted to kick her, but there was no way of doing it without them seeing. Instead, I pulled the shield a little tighter around her.

The other guards removed their hoods, and I recognized Afton and some of the other guards I had seen, but not been introduced to, and Fred. His presence made me relax a little. I liked him.

“Nice to see you, Bella,” he said with a small smile.

When I met him before, I could feel his gift trying to work against my shield. I couldn’t feel it now, which meant he wasn’t using it. I wondered why he would have been so determined to affect me last time. I shoved that question aside as Caius turned his attention to the trapped wolf.

“I must say, you have simplified our task immensely. I expected this to be difficult. I wondered when Demetri lost the trail whether it was already dead, now I see you were utilizing that marvelous gift of yours to restrain it.”

A tall man with inky black hair scowled at me. I thought this must be the mysterious Demetri. Eleazar had said he would be civil, but it seemed my interference with his gift had irritated him.

“Would you mind dropping your shield now?” Caius asked.

“Why?” I asked, shocked at my boldness.

“I have need of our abilities before it returns to its human form. I find it easier to question them when they have been exposed to Jane for a while first.”

“If I let it go, it will attack us,” I said, carefully. “I have already fallen victim to it once tonight.”

“That would indeed be a problem if you were not able to separate your shields,” he said shrewdly. “However, I know better. Please remove the shield that protects against psychic talents. Feel free to keep the physical barrier in place, though.”

I didn’t want to do it. The wolf had hurt me, but it was also a person.

“I grow impatient, Isabella.”

I had no choice. Rosalie was with me, I couldn’t risk them using her as a bargaining tool. Regretfully, I pulled the mental shield away from the wolf.

Jane’s smiled angelically as she focused on the wolf; her eyes narrowed, and I became lost in agony.

I dropped to the ground, my back arched and my hands clawed the earth. I had never felt anything like it. It was as if I was being burned alive; it hurt more than the venom had. I heard howling and screaming. It took a moment for me to realize the screams were my own. I clenched my teeth shut, trapping the screams in my throat.

As fast as the pain had come, it ceased. I was left gasping on the ground. Rosalie was crouched beside me, one hand gripping my arm and the other cupping my cheek.

“Are you okay?” she asked.

I nodded mutely and got to my feet again. Jane was looking at me with evident satisfaction; she was thrilled her gift had affected me.

“Well, that was unexpected,” Caius said thoughtfully. “Did you forget to shield yourself too?”

“Yes,” I said. “I didn’t expect her to act so fast.”

I was lying. I felt the shield around me the whole time. It was as if the physical shield had caused me to share in the pain Jane inflicted on the wolf. If this was more evidence of my ability to enhance, I liked it even less that I had before.

“Alas, Jane tends to get carried away when using her gift. I apologize.”

The wolf was snarling, trashing its head against the barrier of my shield.

“What will you do with it?” I asked.

“It must be destroyed,” he said.

“But it’s a person!”

“Ahhh, Isabella, Aro said you were as compassionate as Carlisle, but he was wrong. You are even more tender-hearted. This animal is a danger to our kind and to the humans you value so highly. We cannot allow it to live. It may pretend to be a man for the rest of the month, but, as I am sure you have realized by now, it and its fellows are the cause of hundreds of deaths in this city.”

“We can look after it!” I said desperately. “It’s only a danger one night a month; I can shield it that night, and it won’t be a danger to anyone.”

Rosalie was evidently not so keen on this idea. She was gaping at me, her eyes wide with horror.

“You cannot,” he said firmly. “I know you are new to this life, but there are rules that must be followed.” He looked to Rosalie, who nodded mutely. “You see, she understands. If you could hold it a little longer, I would be grateful, but it is not really necessary. We can deal with it now if you wish to leave.”

Did I want to leave? The moon was almost gone now; the wolf would be a man again soon and they would destroy it. No one would think less of me for escaping while I could, no one except myself. I would _not_ run from this. It was better if I heard what the wolf had to say. I wanted to know why he had attacked the people of Nome, and if it was them that had attacked in Canada too.

That thought brought with it a new jolt of horror. There was a full moon, even now they could be attacking another town. They could be attacking La Push!

“I will wait,” I said simply.

As the moon set, the wolf seemed to shudder. It raised its head to the sky and howled one last time. It was a sound of desperation and pain. If I had not seen the empty void of its eyes, I would have thought it knew what was coming and was giving voice to its fear.

I looked away, not wanting to see the face of the man who would be dead within minutes.

“You can release it now, Isabella,” Caius instructed.

I drew my shield away, still not looking around. There was a brief pause, then the human equivalent of a growl. The sound of stone against flesh reached me, then a foul sound like raw meat being torn. The thick stench of spoiled blood filled the air, and I spun around.

Piled at the feet of Felix was a pile of torn flesh that was once a person. They had torn it apart as they would a vampire.

“What happened?” I asked.

“It attacked one of them,” Rosalie whispered.

“But it’s human now. It couldn’t have hurt you.”

“It _was_ human,” Felix said with a leer. “Now it is meat. There is plenty of blood if you are thirsty. I think it qualifies as animal enough to satisfy your guilty conscience. Feel free to indulge.”

My hands clenched into fists at my sides. He was vile.

“That is enough,” Caius sad harshly. “It is unfortunate that it forced our hand, but at least it is no longer a danger.”

I didn’t believe for a second that he was really regretful about what happened. I was certain this was all orchestrated before they arrived. This was done to hide something.

I wanted to get away from this place and these people. I wanted to be with my family again. More than anything, I wanted to get to them before they could see the Volturi. I worried that Alice and Edward’s gifts would prove too tempting for them while they were here in force. I didn’t see Chelsea among the guard, but even if she wasn’t here, it wouldn’t be too difficult for them to restrain them long enough for her to arrive.

“Felix, please dispose of _that_. I wouldn’t do for the humans to find these remains.”

Felix knelt and scraped at the dirt with his bare hands, creating a deep hole and kicking the remains of the wolf inside.

“I hear their scientific knowledge has grown so great now that they would be able to test the differences in this beast to a human,” Caius said conversationally. “It amazes me that a drop of the blood that sustains us can be used for such discoveries.”

He was trying to distract me, but I didn’t know why. I couldn’t feel any gifts working against my shield. Other than the strange way Jane had affected me with her gift when hurting the wolf, they hadn’t tried to influence us at all.

Felix stamped down the dirt and turned to Caius who nodded.

“Well, our work here is done,” he said. “It is time for us to go home. It was a pleasure to see you again, Isabella, and to meet another of your coven. Carlisle certainly has an eye for a pretty face when creating new vampires. I must commend him on his taste. Please pass on my regards.”

“I will,” I said formally.

He smiled at me, nodded to Rosalie, and then turned on his heel and walked away. Unlike their arrival, they did not move with the slow grace this time. Their pace was fast, as if they were as eager to be away from us, as we were them.

They weren’t heading in the direction of our house, but they could easily correct that when they were out of sight.

“Bella, we need to get back. If they meet the others…”

“I know.”

“I can’t lose, Emmett,” she said desperately, tugging on my hand.

I took one last searching look at the small mound that hid the body of the wolf. Then, keeping our fingers entwined, we turned away and began the trek home.

**xXx**

**Edward POV**

Esme’s desperate screams reached me a moment before her thoughts. “Carlisle!”

We ran out of the house toward the sound of her racing footsteps. I was usually the fastest in the family, but Carlisle’s fear gave him speed, and he reached her first. I couldn’t make out anything clear in her thoughts. They were a stream of rushing images moving too fast for me to follow.

“Werewolf … Bella … Rosalie … Hurt …” she babbled.

“Who is hurt?” Emmett demanded.

“Bella, I think. She sent me away, but I…”

I didn’t hear the rest of her words as I was already running. My thoughts were focused only on Bella, nothing else mattered. 

I didn’t get far before they caught up with me. Jasper’s thoughts were clearest in my mind now as he was as focused on getting to Bella as I was.

 _Not one of the pack, Edward,_ he thought to me, a _genuine werewolf._

His words pushed my speed even faster. A Child of the Moon was far more dangerous than the La Push wolves could ever hope to be.

Emmett was catching up to me. His terror for Rosalie was paramount. I caught a snatch of thought from him.

_Bella will take care of her. She’ll be okay. She’ll be fine._

This was the first time he had ever felt genuine fear for Rosalie’s life. Even when they were fighting the newborns, he had not worried as he knew she was more than up to the task. Now he was getting a taste of the fear I had lived with for years when Bella was human. Had I not been so preoccupied by my own fear, I would have pitied him.

I didn’t know how long we were running before new scents joined Esme’s back trail. I didn’t recognize any of them, but Carlisle’s moan made me halt in my tracks for a moment.

“Who?” I demanded.

“Volturi,” he hissed.

Jasper winced as the shockwave of our fear hit him.

We set of running again, forcing my gift out as far as I could hoping to reach Bella or Rosalie, but expecting the Volturi. At least if I could hear them, I would know if they were close to Bella.

“Edward!” Carlisle called out to me. “The moon is gone.”

That was good. The moon was gone, so the wolf was not a danger now, but the Volturi were still out there somewhere, and knowing Bella’s luck, they were with her right now.

_We’re okay. We’re okay. We’re okay._

I choked a sob as Bella’s thoughts reached me. I couldn’t see what was happening around her, as she was repeating the same chant again and again.

“What is it?” Emmett demanded. “What can you hear?”

“They’re okay,” I said.

“What else?”

“I don’t know. I can’t hear Rose yet, but Bella is saying they’re okay.”

I suddenly felt like I had run into a brick wall. Though, unlike a brick wall, which would have crushed against my force, this was immovable. With similar expressions of shock, the rest of the family were halted.

“Bella! Let me free, now!” Emmett roared. He was desperate to get to Rosalie.

“She is shielding you for a reason, so shut the fuck up,” Jasper snarled.

Emmett opened his mouth to answer, but I cut him off. “Both of you shut up. I am trying something here.”

I focused on making Bella hear me and begged her to hurry.

I knew the moment she heard me as her chant of _‘We’re okay’_ cut off, and she answered.

_Edward! Are you okay? Are the Volturi there?_

_No. We have caught their scent, but not seen them._

_Oh, thank god. We saw them, but they’ve gone._

The shield holding us all in place disappeared, and I started running toward her again. I had barely started before she and Rosalie appeared on the horizon. They were running together, clasping each other’s hand. 

When they saw us, they released their grip on the other. Bella ran to me, and Rosalie to Emmett.

I caught her in my arms and clung to her. Words tumbled from us both, remonstrances and reassurances and vows of love. Emmett was doing the exact same thing with Rosalie.

I held Bella away from me and searched for a sign of injury.

“Esme said you were hurt.”

“I was, but Rose fixed it for me,” she said.

Jasper pulled her into his arms and then was passed from person to person, as was Rosalie; though Emmett clung to her arm, fearing that she would disappear if he let go of her.

When Bella reached Emmett, he and Rosalie both embraced her.

“Thank you, so much,” he said sincerely. “Thank you for my Rosie.”

She kissed his cheek. “You’re welcome. She’s our Rosie, too, after all.”

He chuckled.

“What happened?” Carlisle asked. “Esme said there was a werewolf–”

Rosalie interrupted. “Can we _please_ wait till we get home to talk about this? I really don’t like being out in the open while they are still here.”

Bella nodded her agreement and squeezed Rosalie’s hand. “Probably a good idea. If I see that Felix again, I may be tempted to remove some of his vital equipment.

I quirked a brow, but she shook her head. _Later._

Contrary to our race to them, the journey home seemed to take mere minutes. It was as if our panic had added miles to the journey.

When we got home, Bella and Rosalie sat together in the middle of the couch, their hands still entwined. Emmett and I flanked them on either side, comforted by their close presence.

“I _really_ don’t want to go through this all again, so I want to try something,” Bella said, fixing her gaze on me. “Focus on sharing your thoughts the way you do with me.”

I did as she asked. Unlike when she usually shared her thoughts with me, this wasn’t a whisper, but a blast of noise.

_Can you hear me?_

“What the fuck was that?” Emmett said.

“Oh good it worked,” she said relieved.

“What worked?” I asked.

“I heard her voice in my head.” Emmett said.

“Hey, you’re gifted after all, Em,” Alice teased.

He didn’t laugh. He was still too worried about Rosalie to find amusement in anything at the moment. The strength with which she was gripping his hand was a sign of just how upset she was. This was the first time she had feared for her safety since her change.

“How did you do that?” Carlisle asked.

“I pushed Edward’s gift away from him, while sending my thoughts. I think it’s what I did when I was changing.” She shot me an apologetic look. “It will be easier if you can see exactly what happened, rather than making us describe it all again.”

He nodded thoughtfully. He was thinking of her previous assertions that she didn’t want to work with her ability to enhance gifts and wondering if this meant she had changed her mind altogether.

“I don’t know how to focus it very well,” she said. “I don’t think the range would be too good, so if you don’t want to hear it you could probably just step out for a minute.” She was speaking more to Rosalie than anyone else.

Rosalie shook her head. “Let’s just get it over with.”

“Ready?” she asked.

I nodded. “When you are.”

Her eyes slipped closed, and I heard her voice for a moment reassuring herself. Then her voice was replaced by a stream of images.

_A rusted engine. A mass of brown fur. Rosalie’s voice “Esme, no.”A slash of claws. Gasping breaths. A thought: It doesn’t work. “Please, Mom. I don’t know what to do. I need Carlisle.” Rosalie’s worried face. Gaping wounds. A scream._

The images sped up.

_Volturi. Black cloaks. Fred. Caius. Drop your shield. An angelic smile. Pain. Screams. Rosalie’s face. “It must be destroyed.” “It’s a person.”Attacking La Push. The moon sets. Tearing flesh.”It is meat.” “Our work here is done.” “I can’t lose Emmett.” “I know.”_

The images cut off and there was absolute silence in the room expect for Esme’s quiet sobs.

“You wanted to keep it?” Jasper said incredulously.

“Not keep it. It wasn’t a puppy. I just didn’t want it to be killed when there was another option. It doesn’t matter now, anyway. They killed it.”

“Him,” Rosalie corrected. “It was a man.”

The trauma had clearly addled their minds. Rosalie was still terrified. Bella had been mauled by the thing, but they were both upset that it had been killed.

“What did Jane do to you?” Esme asked. “It was you that was screaming, wasn’t it?”

“Yes. When she used her gift on the wolf, I had to remove it my mental shield. I was still shielding it physically though, and somehow that made her gift hurt me too.”

I hissed. I hadn’t realized it was her pain I was hearing. I felt a wave of fury. Had Jane been in front of me in that moment I would have torn her head from her body, and I would have done it with a smile.

“That doesn’t make sense,” Carlisle said. “Jane’s gift is not physical, but mental. She doesn’t really hurt you, you just think she does.”

Bella huffed. “Mental or physical, it hurt like a bitch.”

Carlisle smiled sadly. “I imagine it did, what I meant, though, was that the mental aspect of her gift shouldn’t have affected you while you were shielding yourself.”

“I don’t know,” Bella said, “but if I had to guess, I’d say it’s part of the weird emphasizing thing. When Eleazar gets back, we’ll have to talk to him about it.”

“Did they really leave?” Alice asked. “I know they said they were going home, but they could be anywhere now.”

“I don’t think they would have left,” Jasper said. He was staring at the opposite wall, his face heavy with concentration.

“What makes you say that?”

I heard his answer in his thoughts and gasped.

“They weren’t here for the wolf.”


	22. Come Back To Me

**Bella POV**

“They weren’t here for the wolf.”

Though I had been thinking the same thing, I still felt a shiver of fear as Jasper said it. 

“What makes you say that?” Carlisle asked.

“There were too many of them,” I said, taking up the explanation. “The wolves are behind the attacks on Nome and Watson Lake. If I’m right, there will have been another tonight. There is a pack of werewolves out there somewhere killing people, but the Volturi sent a group that large to kill only _one_.” I shook my head “They weren’t here for the wolf. ”

“Not only that,” Jasper said. “They chose the one night it was at its most dangerous to strike. In human form, it would have been much easier for them to kill.”

Though neither of us were using our connection to speak, his thoughts were evidently following the exact same track as my own.

“But why would they come if not for the wolf?” Esme asked.

Jasper gave her a curious look; it was almost pitying. “They came for us,” he said softly.

I was sure he was right. Our encounter with Caius had been too civil, too rehearsed. The compliments on my compassion and Rosalie’s beauty; he knew exactly what to say to us.

Though Rosalie was different to the person I had first met over four years ago, she was still pleased by her beauty. It was one of the few things she appreciated about her vampire life. Aro had heard every thought I’d ever had; he knew that about Rosalie, and he knew me. He knew I strived to be like Carlisle, to value the humanity he emulated. He used that knowledge against me when preparing to kill the wolf. Unless I was very wrong, it was that weakness the Volturi were banking on now.

“I believe he was expecting to find us gone,” I said. “Two massacres already and a full moon again. They targeted reservations. We were supposed to be in Forks protecting the pack. They overestimated us though. We didn’t work it out in time.”

“That’s impossible,” Carlisle said. “They would never form an alliance with The Children of the Moon. They have hunted them into near extinction. Caius especially detests them.”

“And yet, when I visited Volterra, Caius was there instead of out hunting them as he was supposed to be,” I said. “They haven’t made an alliance. They’re just turning a blind eye to what is happening in hopes that we would be caught up in the crossfire.”

Aro would have taken the idea from Irina. She had wanted the Volturi to destroy me while I defended that pack. The attackers had changed, but the plan was the same.

Caius and his hunting party were just here as a lookout, checking to see if we were still here. They couldn’t go to La push, as they knew the wolves would be patrolling. It would have ruined Aro’s careful words about the pack being mere curiosities if they reported back to us that the Volturi had been in the area. 

I didn’t know what they wanted though. Was I supposed to be killed by the wolves, or were they hoping to trap me somehow and make me unshield so Chelsea could bind us to them?

There were so many gifts among us that they would want. Perhaps if they removed me and my shield from the equation they would be able to procure the others. They would likely even take the ungifted members just to make it look more feasible to the other covens. Aro did seem genuinely pleased by my memories of Carlisle. He would be happy to have his friend join his coven.

An image of them all dressed in black cloaks flashed before my eyes, and I flinched.

“We need to call the pack,” I said, extricating myself from Edward’s grip. I took my phone from my purse and dialed Sam’s cell number.

His voice was heavy with sleep when he answered. “Hello.”

“Sam, it’s Bella. I’m sorry for calling so early, but I needed to check you were all okay.”

His voice immediately lost the fog of sleep and became alert. “Yeah, we’re fine. What’s wrong?”

“We’ve had a dramatic night. I’ll explain it all later; we’re still working it out ourselves right now.”

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah, we’re fine. I’ll call you later, okay?”

“Okay, Bella. Take care of yourself.”

“I will. I’ll see you soon.”

I hung up the phone and tossed it down on the table.

Edward was looking at me expectantly, wanting me to sit with him again, but I shunned his comfort in favor of pacing the room. I always seemed to think better when in motion.

“You’ll see him soon?” Edward questioned. “Are we going to Forks?”

I nodded. “I think we have to. They’re going to need protection.”

“You said you would never go back,” he said softly.

I shrugged. At the time, I had meant it. I didn’t want to go back to Forks. I had closed the door on that part of my life months ago. But my wants didn’t matter now. I owed the pack my protection.

I clicked on the TV and found a news channel. They were discussing the country’s economy. The rolling strip at the bottom of the screen didn’t mention any attack, but I was sure it was only a matter of time.

I was right.

An hour later, the newscaster was interrupted as _Breaking News_ flashed across the screen. There had been another attack in Campbell River, British Columbia. No confirmed numbers of casualties, but it was expected to be as many as fifty dead.

I looked to Carlisle, and he nodded.

“There is a First Nation Tribe near the town. I think you were right about the targeting, but I don’t understand how or why. Who could be orchestrating this? If the Volturi is indeed turning a blind eye to the attacks, there must be someone that told them about the La Push pack and is helping them lay their plans. Children of the Moon are irrational in wolf form. They could never plan this.”

I rubbed my now healed stomach. I knew only too well how irrational they could be. I saw the fathomless black eyes, void of anything human, and remembered that person was now dead, torn apart and buried in the middle of nowhere. 

“They’re working their way south,” Jasper said. “If they came over from Russia, Nome is the obvious first target. They would have needed to feed well after the journey and to swell their ranks. That would explain the missing persons, and the scale of the attack. Judging the distances they have already travelled between moons, La Push is likely their next target.”

“Can you see anything, Alice?” I asked. She had been almost silent since we got home. She sat curled against Jasper, her eyes occasioning losing focus as she searched the future.

“Nothing. The pack is blocked to me as always, and our futures all muddled as none of us know what to do next.”

I made a fixed decision to go to Forks and nodded to her. “Try now,” I instructed. “I’m set in my decision.”

She searched for a moment, then shook her head. “It’s dark. Wolf dark, not Bella dark. I guess if you go there, they are going to be sticking close to you.”

That sounded fun, but frustrating. How would we know what was happening if we couldn’t see?

I sent shield out from myself, checking the sparks of each of the family. It happened occasionally automatically, but this time I used it to comfort myself. It gave me an idea.

“Try again. This time I am going to see if I can use the enhancing thing.”

Carlisle’s head snapped up. I half expected him to do a fist pump. “I thought you were averse to using that ability?” he said, barely maintaining his calm tone.

“I was, but I am more averse to going into this thing blind. The more we know about what is happening, the better.”

“When Eleazar returns would you be–”

“Yes, Carlisle. I’ll play mad scientist with you, all you like,” I said impatiently. “Let’s just do this first, okay?

He gave me a small abashed smile and nodded.

I focused on Alice. Unlike with Edward, I had never done anything with her gift other than block it, so I wasn’t sure how to even attempt to enhance it. Her eyes slipped closed, and I felt the spark that represented her brighten and intensify.

Suddenly, I was pulled into a swarm of images. They moved too fast to focus on, but they seemed to throw themselves at my mind, demanding to be seen.

I pulled my focus from her and gripped the wall to hold my balance.

“How do you do that every day?” I asked breathlessly. “That was horrible.”

“I don’t do _that_ every day,” she said, looking just as stunned as I felt. “It’s never been like that before. Usually it’s like a collage of futures; I have to pick one to focus on. That was”…

“Chaos,” I finished for her. 

“I was going to say cool. I’m pretty sure I saw Sam and Emily. I’ve never been able to see him before. Can we try again?”

My first response – ‘Hell no’ – died on my lips as I saw her excitement. She was ecstatic at the prospect of tapping into these futures.

I nodded grudgingly. “We can _try_ again. Edward, do you want in on this?”

He nodded eagerly, and I encased him in the mental shield, so he could have a view of what Alice was seeing, too. I allowed my shield to do the work for me. It sought out Alice’s spark again, and this time included Edward’s too.

I felt it intensify and allowed it to happen, but I forced away the images that tried to overwhelm me. I kept my eyes focused on Jasper’s face instead. He was watching Alice, relishing in her happiness as she explored this new facet of her gift.

“Focus, Alice,” Edward said softly. I guessed she was getting carried away looking at all the possible futures. “That one! The one with the snow.”

Almost against my will, I allowed myself to sink into the vision with them.

_There was nothing but snow for miles, a desert of snow. Emmett and Rosalie were running, their clothes torn and travel worn._

_“They want to know when we’re coming home,” Rosalie said._

_“Not until they are all dead,” Emmett snarled. Fury such as I had never seen etched on his features._

_A flash of fur, a full moon, and a howl._

Then the image changed.

_Alice walking along a dimly lit street, followed by a shady looking man. She hurried her pace and ducked into an alley. Jasper was waiting for her there. As they turn to embrace, I saw they both had striking crimson eyes._

_“They want to know when we’re going home,” she said._

_His answer was a harsh growl. “Never.”_

The image changed.

_Darkness so deep it almost completely blinded me. I had been here before._

_Barely discernible in the darkness was a pale figure lying on the ocean floor. He was smiling slightly, as if lost in pleasant dreams._

The image changed.

_Esme knelt in what I recognized as Renee’s garden in Forks. She cradled a bloom in her hand. Her face was a lesson in pain. Carlisle came to kneel beside her, and she rested her head on his shoulder._

_“They aren’t coming home, are they?” she asks._

_He traces the name on the new stone marker with a finger. Isabella Marie Cullen._

_“It isn’t home anymore.”_

The images ceased.

My knees buckled, and I sank down the wall to the floor.

_I’m…_

“Bella! Don’t think about it. It’s not going to happen!” A pale face in front of my eyes. Alice.

I looked across the room to Edward. He was frozen in place, looking at me with clear horror.

_Going…_

Their voices shouting questions become muffled as the void crept in. I tried to push it away, but I didn’t have the strength. My mind was still caught on what I saw. The knowledge that I was going…

_To die._


	23. Deep In A Dream

**Jasper POV**

"Bella, no!"

It was already too late. I saw her eyes lose focus as she became perfectly still.

I started towards her, but Edward was already there. He crouched in front of her, his arms spread wide. A guttural growl slid past his teeth, warning us all away. Bella was indifferent to all that was happening around her. Her eyes stared blankly into nothingness.

"Edward, stop!" Carlisle commanded, trying to get to Bella.

His panic was immense, and it overrode his reason. He got too close, and Edward shoved him away and into the opposite wall.

In the brief distraction caused by Carlisle's flight, Edward scooped the unresisting Bella into his arms and flew up the stairs. Their bedroom door slammed. Then I heard his voice speaking softly.

"It's just us now," he whispered. "You can come back. There is nothing to be scared of."

It was heartbreaking listening to him speak like that. He could have been talking to a skittish animal.

Carlisle got to his feet and started for the stairs again.

Edward apparently heard his intentions as his soft words cut off, and he began to growl menacingly again.

"Okay, Son, I'm not coming, but we need to know what is happening."

"Well, that's fucking obvious, don't you think?" Emmett spat. "Bella has rejoined the ranks of the unconscious."

"But she can't be–"

"Really?" I said scathingly. "Whatever you want to call it, she's not _feeling_ anything."

That fact alone was hurting me like an iron brand. I could feel the emptiness where her presence should be. It tugged at me, drawing me to her side.

I didn't fight it, but let my feet lead me up the stairs and to the bedroom door.

Edward's growls grew more ferocious the closer I got, but I didn't care. I opened the door and gave him a pitying look as I saw him crouched in front of her.

"You can snarl and growl all you like, but I'm not going anywhere," I said harshly.

In truth, I was a little scared. Not only of what was happening to Bella, but of his unpredictable rage. He was protecting his mate. It was a primal drive. Though the girl on the bed wasn't my mate, she was damn close, and I wasn't going to let him keep me away from her.

He seemed to see the truth in my thoughts and rose from his crouch and then curled around Bella again.

She was lying back on the bed, propped against pillows. Her eyes were open, but they were staring blankly at the opposite wall. Edward held one of her hands between two of his own and gently manipulated her fingers to intertwine with his. There was no force behind her motions. She could have been a mannequin for all the difference it made.

He didn't speak to me, but the concentrated way he stared at Bella made me think he was trying to use their mental connection to speak to her.

I sat on the opposite end of the bed and concentrated my gaze on her. It had been difficult to manage the void when she was human. She was so desperately ill at the time. Now it was worse. Though she was physically fine, she was a vampire; she shouldn't look like this.

I tried sending random jolts of emotion at her, but they were bounced right back at me.

I heard footsteps on the hall and recognized the tread as Carlisle's. Edward's head snapped up and a low growl built in his throat. Carlisle stopped at the top of the stairs and just listened.

"Stop that!" I said sharply. "No one is going to hurt her. They're just worried."

"I don't want them near her," he whispered. "They are thinking bad, horrible things. She isn't like that anymore."

I didn't have his ability, but it wasn't hard to imagine what they would be thinking that would upset him. We'd all been here before and had powerful memories of it that would be hurting him.

"What's she feeling?" he asked.

"Nothing I can feel," I said, looking at him with concern. "You do realize what's happening, don't you?"

"She's in the void," he said sadly. "I know that. I hoped you would feel something though. She was so scared when it happened. I was hoping if you could feel something you could bring her back."

"She'll come back when she's ready," I assured him. "She always did. What happened? What did Alice see?"

He shook his head violently. "No, no, no, no–"

I held my hands up in front of me. "Okay, you don't have to tell me."

I suspected I already knew what. I just didn't know who.

"What should I do?" he asked.

"What you're already doing is enough," I assured him. "If it works the same way it did before, she isn't feeling, isn't hearing anything. But keep talking to her, so when she comes back she will have something to come back to."

He rested his head next to her ear and whispered quietly into her ear. I only caught snatches of what he was saying, but what I did hear made me sure he was telling her about their travels.

I checked my watch. It felt like hours since Bella had slipped into the void, but had in fact been less than fifteen minutes. Time was all relative when you were facing something like this. I wondered how long it felt to her. What difference would her vampire mind make on the void? Would she feel trapped in there, or was it blissful oblivion?

When Eleazar's thoughts slipped and we discussed the possibility of her returning to the void, I had been terrified. Little though I wanted to, I had considered how it would feel if she did lose herself again. I imagined I would be insensible with panic, but Edward's distress forced me to remain calm. We couldn't both lose our mind.

"It feels like I am lost too," he said quietly, evidently following my thoughts. "I don't know who I am without her."

"You aren't without her. She's just resting a while, that's all. She'll be back soon."

I could hear the quiet voices of the family downstairs discussing what had happened and trying to think of a way to bring her back. Their discussion became repetitive as they struggled with the same basic fact: this should be able to happen.

Or should it?

Typically vampires reacted to stress by becoming still. Bella's shield enhanced that reaction. Her greatest fear was for someone she loved to be hurt because she couldn't protect them. What if her protective instincts were still working for _us,_ too. If she thought one of us was in danger…

Edward's head snapped up and he opened his mouth to speak but I cut him off with a curt shake of my head. If my idea was to work we needed to keep the element of surprise.

 _She needs to believe it's real for it to have a chance of working._ I thought to him. _If we can trigger the physical shield whatever is holding mind her may fall too._

He nodded, the anguished darkness in his eyes lightening somewhat.

He mouthed silently. "We need their reaction to make it more realistic."

_You need to move away from Bella. I don't want her to get caught in the crossfire._

He kissed her cheek, and moved her hand back to her lap. He hesitated for a moment, then moved to stand at the window. I moved back, and dropped into a crouch.

"This is all your fault!" I said harshly. "If you hadn't left in the first place she would never have been hurt!"

"You think I don't know that?" he snarled. "She is _my_ mate. I am well aware of what I have done to her. I will be the person that brings her back. Not you."

I heard racing footsteps coming up the stairs. It was working, they were rushing to stop this from becoming a physical fight.

_Ready? You need to attack._

He nodded.

"She isn't going to want you for a mate after this," I hissed. "Not after–"

My words were cut of as he charged at me. We were knocked to the floor, growls ripping from our chests.

There was a flurry of movement as Emmett seized me, and Carlisle, Edward. They tried to prize us apart, but we clung to each other under the guise of the fight. We needed _her_ to break the fight.

With a force like a hammer blow I was dragged from Edward and pinned against the wall.

Though Bella was still staring blankly into nothing I could feel a small spark of anger from her.

"It worked," I said breathlessly. "She's coming back."

xXx

**Bella POV**

I didn't know how long I was trapped in the nothingness, but I came back to some semblance of alertness with a jolt as my physical shield flew from me.

My eyes were open, but it was like looking through fogged glass.

I could feel the presence of the family around me. Jasper and Edward were closest. I felt their sparks flanking me on either side.

Voices became clearer and words broke through the haze.

"… okay … just us … no one hurt … safe .…"

I fought to speak, but my lips were locked together.

I could see vague shapes now. Hands cupped my cheeks, and a white moon blocked my vision.

"Bella, you're okay," a soft voice said. "We won't let anyone hurt you."

Hurt me?

The images that had trapped me rushed back at me, and I felt a low growl bubble in my chest.

My wonderful family torn apart and spread across the globe, Edward's beautiful face at the bottom of the ocean, I couldn't let it happen.

But I didn't know how to stop it.

Who was going to hurt me? Who was going to kill me? Was it the Volturi or the wolves or some new danger we didn't yet know about.

I didn't want to die. I was finally happy. I had my family and my Edward. Why was I going to lose it?

"Bella, love, can you hear me?" I heard the desperation in Edward's voice and wished I could talk to him.

It was futile. I was still trapped, though things were becoming clearer all the time.

Trapped…

Just like before, I was pinned by the shield. I once used that force to try and end my life, now I fought against it with all I had to save it.

It was even harder than it had been when I was human, but slowly, I felt it shift. Voices became louder, and my vision cleared.

"That's it, darlin'. You're doing fine. Take your time." Jasper was supporting me, just as he always did.

A small hand gripped my own. Alice.

A booming voice demanded to know what was happening. Emmett.

With a final lurching push, I shoved away the void, and the world rushed back at me with startling clarity.

I hid my face in my hands, whimpering at the sudden onslaught of sensation.

"It's okay. You're back," Edward soothed, pulling me onto his lap. I buried my face in his neck and allowed the sobs to overcome me.

He whispered reassuring words and many hands stroked and comforted.

I was back.


	24. This Was Nearly Mine

**Bella POV**

In the days following my return to the void, everyone treated me as something delicate.

It didn't bother me; in fact, it was comforting to have them all so close. I sometimes feared they would disappear into their future selves without me noticing. I found myself searching for a sign that Emmett and Rosalie were going to leave, or that Jasper and Alice would go to hunt and return with red eyes.

The one subject we all avoided was the vision that had started it all, which I was more than happy to ignore too.

One negative of avoiding the topic was that I couldn't do anything about my plans to return to Forks. I didn't want to go back there. In fact, I would have preferred to take another trip to Volterra than Forks. It had to happen though, if not only for my friends in the pack, for Emily and Jacob. We were responsible for bringing the Children of the Moon into their lives, so it was our responsibility to keep them safe.

The days passed, and soon we were only a week away from the next full moon. I knew we needed to leave soon, so I arranged a hunting trip as a group, hoping full stomachs would make them more amenable to my idea. When we got home, I gathered them to talk.

"We need to decide what we are going to do about the wolves," I said.

Carlisle sighed sadly and wrapped an arm around me, pulling me close. "I wondered when you were going to mention this."

"I know that vision was scary," I began.

Alice scoffed. "Understatement of the millennium."

I ignored the interruption and continued. "And the prospect of doing anything that may lead to it is daunting, but I owe the wolves. I'm not asking anyone to come with me; in fact, I'd prefer it if you didn't. If I was alone–"

"Not going to happen," Jasper said firmly.

" _If_ I was alone," I said, ignoring the interruption. "I could protect myself better than I could us all."

I didn't want to say it aloud, but had Esme not approached when I was facing the werewolf, I wouldn't have been hurt. It wasn't her fault, but it was still an experience I wasn't willing to repeat.

"Let's say for arguments sake, you were there alone, and the Children of the Moon attacked. What would you do?" Rosalie asked.

"I would shield them until the moon set and they were people again."

I had been thinking about this since my last encounter. Admittedly, I didn't know what I would do once they were people again. I needed the family's input for that.

"And after?" she pressed.

"I don't know. I don't want to kill anyone, but if I had to, I would. They have killed too, though it's not their fault. They are unable to control themselves when they are wolves. That doesn't make them innocent, but it does complicate the issue."

"Simple solution," Emmett said. "We all come with you, and _we_ kill the wolves. I haven't had a good bout since the newborns and could do with a challenge." He stared at me as if daring me to argue.

"I do not relish the idea of ending a life, but I think Emmett may be right in this instance," Carlisle said somberly. "They have killed so many people already, to kill them is the only option that makes sense. Their sacrifice would save the lives of many."

I looked to Edward. "What do you think?"

"I think you are too kind hearted for your own good, but that is why I love you."

I quirked a brow. _Not helpful, Edward._

_I know. I wish there was an alternative, but I think they will have to be killed._

"Okay. If we cannot think of an alternative before time, we will destroy them," I said reluctantly. "Now we have dealt with that, we need to talk about Alice's vision."

Carlisle's grip around me tightened to the point of being painful.

"I'm guessing Alice and Edward have told you what we saw."

"We haven't told them the exact details," Edward said. "No one wanted to discuss it without you. We have been doing all we can to ignore it."

"Me too. But I think we need to get it out in the open now. Would you prefer to view it directly, or do you want the cliff notes version?"

"I can only speak for myself, but I would find it helpful to see it in full," Carlisle said, exactly as I suspected he would.

The others nodded in agreement, and I looked to Edward.

_Ready?_

It looked like the very last thing he wanted to do, but he seemed to understand the necessity.

I stretched my shield over him and focused. I knew the moment it started to stream into the thoughts of them all as there was a unified gasp.

I tried to ignore the images. I had them on a near constant flow in my mind already.

As the images ceased, I was fixed in the gaze of seven vampires. Though Edward and Alice had seen this all before, the repetition seemed to have affected them as much as the others.

"You die," Esme gasped, then clapped a hand to her mouth, horrified at what she had said.

"Perhaps. The bigger issue here is the fact you all seem to let everything fall to shit when it happens."

" _Or_ the fact it is apparently the werewolves that do it. Me and Rosie weren't hunting them for our health. Why are you talking about going to Forks to face werewolves if you already know they are the ones to do this?"

"Because I don't believe it will. When Alice had that vision, it was one of many possible futures. The only reason I am talking about it at all is so we are all working with the same knowledge. The wolves aren't going to hurt me, nor are the Volturi, and you are all going–"

"I wouldn't be too sure about the Volturi."

The voice made us all spin around. Eleazar was standing at the open door. We had been so caught up in our discussion, none of us heard him arrive. He looked careworn and worried.

"What do you mean?" Jasper asked, forgoing greeting in his quest for information.

"I mean that Bella is even more powerful than we realized and also in danger."

xXx

**Jasper POV**

_Why am I not surprised?_

There was an explosion of noise following Eleazar's arrival. It took a few minutes for everyone to calm down long enough for him to be heard over the din.

Unsurprisingly, the one person that wasn't surprised by his words was Bella.

She seemed to have been expecting something like this all along. It reminded me of the day Carlisle told her heart was failing. She was either the world's most pessimistic person, or she was more in tune with her self and surroundings than I realized.

' _Thinking deep thoughts?'_

Despite the tense situation, I had to smile as I felt her tap out a message to me. I loved that she still used this mode of communication.

' _Did you know this was going to happen?'_ I asked.

' _I didn't know. I suspected. Things are different now. Shall we see what new bombshell Eleazar has to share?'_

I had been so caught in our conversation that I didn't notice that everyone was still shouting and demanding news from Eleazar. I nodded.

"Hello, Eleazar. Did you have a nice trip?" Bella asked sweetly.

Though her voice was soft, it effectively silenced the room.

"It was very informative," he said with a wry smile. "Would you like to hear about it?"

"Please."

He rolled up his sleeves and sat on the lone armchair. He leaned forward, his hands clasped between his knees. It was a very unusual stance for him. He usually exuded calm, a holdover from his time in the Volturi guard.

"I found Stefan and Vladimir a week ago. They sent their regards to you, Carlisle, and to Bella."

"Why me? I've never met them before," she said.

"Because you, as I'm sure you are tired of hearing, are special."

He sighed heavily, his emotional tenor becoming focused, and then he began to talk.

"Bella is not the first person to have this ability to enhance another's gift, though the last person that did lived over a two millennia ago. The story, as it was told to me, is this.

"Vladimir had a sister called Asima. She was a very young child when Vladimir was changed, but he loved her very much. When she was matured, he returned to his old village and changed her. Upon awakening as a vampire, she was very controlled."

I laughed quietly, and his recitation broke off.

"Forgive me," I said. "It was just an interesting similarity."

He smiled ruefully. "It will not be the last."

Something about the way he said it made me nervous. I sincerely hoped these similarities were limited to physical attributes.

"As well as being controlled, she also felt no temptation for human blood. She was repulsed by the idea of taking a human life, though she understood the necessity. Her chief complaint was that she hated to be crowded. She often sought solitude."

Edward squeezed Bella's hand, and she smiled at him. They were using their connection to communicate. Did that mean she wanted solitude? Were we crowding her even now?

Edward caught my thoughts and shook his head slightly; I would have to talk to her about this later.

"When Asima was changed, the Romanians were the ruling coven of our kind. They kept a guard about them, but unlike the Volturi, who value psychic gifts, the Romanians prized physical strength. Their numbers were great though, and some of their guards were gifted.

"They found Asima was immune to all of the talents she encountered. Stefan saw the possibility in this and began to search for other gifted vampires to test her ability. They did not find anyone who was able to affect her, but they found she could sometimes work with their gift to _enhance_ it."

Carlisle had been captivated by Eleazar's story, but with these words his interest grew palpably. "Just like Bella."

Eleazar nodded to him. "Indeed. Unlike Bella, Asima was eager to test this ability. There were rumblings of discontent among our kind at that time, fuelled by the newly gathered Volturi coven. Asima wanted to protect her coven. The people she loved."

Just like Bella.

I was feeling ever growing anxiety now, both my own, and from the others in the room. Whatever happened to Asima, I had a feeling it wasn't going to be a happily ever after.

"They were forced to cease their search for other vampires to test the ability, as an attack from the Volturi seemed imminent," Eleazar said, oblivious to my discomfort. "In the first, of what would become many battles, the Volturi sent what could only be called cannon fodder, their intent to test the Romanians' defenses. One of the vampires sent had the ability to tap into a person's fears and create illusions based upon that. Physically it could not harm you, but it was unpleasant.

"The gift was used on Vladimir, and somehow in defending him, the gift affected Asima too. Her greatest fear was the loss of her brother and the rest of their coven. The fear tapped into something deep within her, and she was enraged. In her heightened emotional state, she somehow repelled the gift to the Volturi guard. As you can imagine, they were suddenly much easier to destroy.

"Whether there was a Volturi guard that escaped, or there was someone among their own ranks that betrayed them, Vladimir and Stefan do not know, but somehow Aro learned of what happened. When the second attack was launched a full decade later, he was prepared. He brought with him many gifted vampires and pitted them against Asima. She repelled each attack, but the strain on her was great. The Volturi were eventually overcome. Aro, Marcus, and Caius fled, taking with them the remains of their guard.

"They actually ran away!" Emmett said incredulously. "That's just..."

"Unimaginable," Edward said.

"They were not always the force they are now," Carlisle said. "They were once a small coven like our own."

True. But we weren't power hungry lunatics.

"If the Romanians had seized this opportunity to chase them down and destroy them, they would have been ultimately victorious," Eleazar said. "But they were not. They were, by their own admission, arrogant and foolish. They believed Asima made them invincible and allowed the Volturi to leave unchecked. This was their greatest mistake.

"A century passed with no interference from the Volturi. The Romanians grew complacent and allowed themselves freedoms they would not have done before. Unbeknownst to them, the Volturi had set a price upon the head of any that could provide proof of the destruction of Asima.

"Vladimir and Stefan's mates, Catalena and Elisabeta, were hunting alone one day and were killed by a pair of nomads that chanced their luck and hoped they'd got her. These nomads were Chelsea and Afton. When they sought their reward, they discovered their mistake, but naturally Aro was pleased regardless as he gained a powerful gift in Chelsea. He made sure to inform Vladimir and Stefan of the mistaken identity. In a fit of rage, Stefan told her she was a curse to their kind. She fled from them all, and hid herself… very well."

I was certain that wasn't what he was going to say, but he seemed unwilling to tell us where she had hid. If he chose to avoid the topic, there was probably a good reason, but unfortunately Bella wasn't thinking the same thing.

"Where did she hide?" she asked.

"She … well … she hid at the bottom of Lake Bâlea."

Bella snorted. "Insane minds think alike."

There was a beat of silence, and then we laughed. The tension that had been building since Eleazar started his tale dispersed. I had a creeping suspicion that she had orchestrated the admission for that very reason.

Once the laughter died down, Eleazar continued.

"After searching for over a decade, she was found by one of her coven. She was changed though, darker and depressed. She barely roused herself for anything, least of all to feed. In her absence, the Volturi had continued the battles, and when she returned, there were less than thirty vampires in their guard. In the last battle, the Volturi brought with them the whole coven."

Thirty seemed like a lot to me. In the southern wars, our newborns usually only totaled twenty and that had been a daunting sight to behold in battle. I wondered how many there were when the armies were at their strongest.

"This was to be the last battle between the covens," Eleazar said. "Aro had plotted it down to the last detail. He brought... I suppose the word is allies, and Chelsea to manufacture bonds between the Romanian guard and Aro. When the armies were unleashed, the plan backfired upon them. Asima was roused by her coven's plight and not only did she repel Chelsea's gift, but she broke the artificial bonds that bound the Volturi to each other. Chaos ensued. The guard were confused and disoriented. Some of them turned on their old friends. Past grudges and disagreements were no longer muted by Chelsea's influence, and their anger raged. Chelsea attempted to repair the broken bonds, but it was too late. Asima's intervention created an immunity to her gift. Corin used her ability to distract the guard from their rage, but the damage was done."

I tried to picture the scene. I had seen something similar in my early years. Scores of vampires unleashed upon each other. It was a terrifying sight.

"The damage must have been horrific," I mused.

"By all accounts it was. Romanians and Volturi alike were destroyed. The _allies_ killed indiscriminately."

He broke off and looked at Bella with an unnameable expression. He seemed to be addressing his last words to her alone, warning her.

"Asima saw what had happened because of her gift. She lost her sisters and knew it was only a matter of time before Vladimir and Stefan would be killed too. In desperation to free them from the curse she believed herself to be, she stepped into the fire created by another vampire's destruction and was consumed."

Eerie silence followed his final words. Though we were all attempting to hide it, we were all casting Bella sidelong glances, almost as if we expected her to make a run for the fireplace.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" she asked, uncomfortable under our scrutiny.

Alice gaped at her. "This is the vision. You're going to do what Asima did!"

"You think I'm going to jump in a bonfire? Don't be ridiculous. I'll join the Volturi before I do _that."_


	25. It Worries Me

Edward POV

"Are you out of your mind?" The words were torn from me without conscious thought. My mind was reeling with horror, my beautiful Bella, red-eyed and cold, in a black cloak. It couldn't happen.

"No, but thanks for asking," she said, scowling at me. "I was merely pointing out that given a choice between death and Volturi, I'd take Volturi."

"But you aren't being given that choice," Alice said.

"I'm not being given any choice," she said. "You're confusing the life of someone that died millennia ago and one vision from a hundred possible futures. What happened to Asima was tragic, and the similarities are admittedly weird, but I am not her. I am not facing the same choice, none of us are, so can we please move on to the next item in the Cullen family crap storm."

"Which is?" I asked.

"The allies the Volturi brought with them to the last battle." She looked to Eleazar. "They were Children of the Moon, weren't they?"

He nodded. "They were."

"The Volturi teamed up with the Children of the Moon?" Carlisle asked incredulously. He couldn't imagine it. He had heard Caius and Aro's opinions of the wolves many times when he stayed in Volterra.

"They did. After the last battle, Aro hunted down everyone that had witnessed it and destroyed them. The only ones that survived outside of his coven and the Romanians were Chelsea and Afton. Chelsea was too valuable to destroy, and Afton is–"

"A numbskull," Bella supplied.

"Well, yes, but he is also Chelsea's mate. His inclusion in the guard is due to Aro's need to keep her happy, so she does not leave. As he learned with Asima, she is what keeps the guard working as a functional unit."

"If they were allied in battle, why would the Volturi then hunt the wolves?" Bella asked. "For that matter, why would they ally with them at all? If they are irrational, they would have attacked the Volturi as well as the Romanians."

"Stephan and Vladimir suspect that they used Chelsea to override their instincts. She bound them to each of the Volturi so tightly they effectively became pets. When Asima broke the bonds, the wolves were freed too. They did more damage than the rest of the vampires combined. Aro realized they could not be used again and sought to hunt them down. He didn't want anyone to know about Asima and what she had done. You must understand, the temptation that gift, your gift, would be to other vampires. Any coven that had such a gift among them would be virtually unstoppable."

"Hey, we're unstoppable," Emmett quipped. "Let's take over the world."

Rosalie hissed.

"I was joking, Rosie," he said defensively.

"Yes, but the fact the thought registered in your mind at all is a danger. If Aro was to read your mind and see that there..." She shuddered.

"Bella won't let him read my mind. Will you?"

She shook her head. "Nah, I've got your back, Grizz."

I didn't like this. The fact we could encounter the Volturi again was already a horrifying thought, but to know we would all be forced to rely on her for our protection, was so much worse.

She rubbed my arm soothingly. I can take care of you, love. Don't worry.

That's what worries me. I don't want you to have to take care of any of us; I want to take care of you.

Very 1918 of you.

Her smile told me she wasn't offended, so I returned it.

"Something has changed though," she said bitterly. "They are working with the wolves again. We saw them."

Between them, she and Rosalie told him about their encounter with the Volturi and the wolf.

"The guard are still in the area," Eleazar said. "I met with them on my way home. Caius has returned to Volterra, but there are still four here: Santiago, Felix, Afton, and Fred."

"Oh, you met Fred," Bella said brightly. "Did you work out his gift?"

"Yes, it is a form of defense. He creates a feeling of repulsion in his target. It makes it difficult to be in his presence and on his highest level, to even think of him."

"Poor Fred, that sucks. No wonder he was lonely."

"Don't hit me again," Emmett said, raising his hands defensively. "But what is it about this guy that makes you talk about him as if he's your best buddy. He is one of the Volturi. You said he tried to use his gift against you when you first met him. He doesn't sound like a good friend."

"I'm not sure," she said thoughtfully. "I think it's because it was my fault he was changed at all. I told you he was part of Victoria's army. If it hadn't been for me, he would never have been changed. It wasn't his fault that he had to use his gift on me. Aro ordered him to do it. If I'm right, he saw the similarities in me to Asima and wanted me distracted while I was still in the city. Fred was the perfect choice, not only was there the personal connection, but his gift made me keep my shield in place the whole time."

"This is fascinating, but can we address the important subject now, please." Esme was growing impatient with the delays. She wanted to discuss the similarities between Bella and Asima, and what they could mean for Bella and our future. "Will the Volturi want to recruit Bella, or will they be satisfied with her death?"

I pulled Bella a little closer to me instinctively. We were all thinking the same thing – the vision. All our attention was focused on Eleazar, and he looked distinctly uncomfortable.

"I don't know. I think he would prefer to have her alive and with his guard, rather than dead and to waste that potential."

"See," Bella said simply. "I'm not going to die, Eleazar said so."

"That's not precisely what I said," he began, but Bella was working to distract him already.

"You missed a lot while you were away," she said. "Jane found a way around my shield. I was mauled by a werewolf, and I took a little trip into the void. Turn out you were wrong after all, it can render me useless."

He gasped. "You were unconscious?"

"Kinda, it was more like being trapped inside myself."

We hadn't discussed how it had felt for her to be in the void. She didn't want to talk about it, and we respected that. Now, we all listened raptly as she described how it had felt, and how she had to claw her way back to consciousness.

"You said it was different now," Jasper said. "Do you mean because of the vision or the void?"

"Neither really, or maybe both; I'm not sure. It's like I have been jolted into action, though. My shield feels almost alive, like there are depths to it I haven't reached."

She turned to Eleazar. "When I told you about the void, you posited that the void could be what I needed to marshal control and adapt to the situation. I think you are right, but rather than the few seconds we thought it would be, it was longer. Up till now, I have been scared of the power. Even before the void made its reappearance, I was uneasy having so much power. Now I am…." She wrinkled her nose as she considered. "Curious? I want to know what I'm capable of."

Eleazar was going to ask about the vision, but I shook my head curtly. I didn't want to relive those images while we were already so tense. It seemed like tempting fate.

"Vladimir and Stephan warned against developing your shield," Eleazar said, "and ordinarily I would agree, but if you are correct about the Children of the Moon working with the Volturi, we all need to work on our abilities."

"That's a good idea, but we can't do it here. We have to go to Forks to protect the wolves." She sighed and raked her hands over her face. "It's coming at us from all directions. If we just knew what the…." She trailed off. Her hands were still covering her mouth, but her eyes were alight with the force of realization. "Oh! The guard! They're still here. If Edward can get close enough to read their thoughts. We can see what they know."

"I doubt they will know the entirety of Aro's plan," Carlisle said. "They are not the high echelons of the guard after all."

"True, but they may know something. What do you think?" she asked, looking to me.

"I think it is the best idea we have."

I also wanted to see this Fred character in person. I didn't much like the way she spoke about him, especially not after such a brief acquaintance.

Jasper felt my confusion of emotion, namely jealousy, and snorted.

Feeling a little green, Edward? he asked. We all know she's your mate.

I wished I had Bella's ability to hit people without making contact. It would have been exceptionally helpful in that moment.

xXx

"I can smell Volturi. I can smell Volturi."

"Emmett if you keep singing that they will hear us coming and the plan will go to shit," Bella hissed. "Now, be quiet or go home."

He mimed zipping his lips shut and grinned.

Contrary to the unease I was feeling following Eleazar's story, Emmett seemed completely at ease. The shock of Rosalie's near miss with the wolf had faded, though he was still exceptionally attentive to her. He had returned to his usual jovial self-appointed role of comic relief.

He, Bella, and I were tracing the scent of the Volturi guard. The plan was for Emmett and I to hang back and allow Bella to come across them under the guise of a hunting trip.

"I think this is close enough," Bella said. "If I go out of range, follow me, but don't come too close."

I nodded my reluctant agreement and watched as she ran ahead.

"Don't fret, Eddie," Emmett said. "She can kick their ass if she needs to."

"I don't want her to need to," I grumbled.

He didn't answer, but gave me a sympathetic look and clapped me on the shoulder.

I followed Bella's thoughts as she traced the scent of the guards. She stopped along the way to hunt a moose to ensure her eyes were at their lightest before continuing on.

She saw them standing guard at the rusted shell of an old train on the outskirts of Nome. I understood this was where they had encountered the werewolf. They had shunned their cloaks in exchange for traditional hiking gear better suited to the environment. I wondered distractedly where they were hunting while in the area.

She cast a sad look at a small mound of earth and then called out to them. "Hey, Fred."

He turned at the greeting and smiled widely. His thoughts were a happy sigh that made my hands clench into fists.

It's her.

"Easy," Emmett muttered. "She's your girl and you know it."

That didn't mean I had to like it when someone else appreciated her beauty.

"Hello, Bella," he said with a shy smile. "What are you doing out here? I thought you would want to steer clear after what happened last time."

"I was hunting, and I caught your scent," she said brightly. Her acting skills were much improved since her change. "Thought I should come say hi."

"It is nice to see you again, Isabella," the vampire called Afton said. "Felix you know, and this is Santiago."

She nodded a greeting with a forced smile. "So, what are you guys doing here? I thought you'd be long gone by now."

"We were asked to remain, to guard against further wolf attacks," Felix lied. "We wouldn't want any more humans to fall victim to their hunger, would we?"

"You're all heart," she said sardonically.

Santiago enquired after Carlisle, but his words became muffled as a thought from Fred caught my attention.

She is so beautiful … He promised me it would be soon. I am tired of waiting.

He was thinking of Bella, but I didn't understand the promised part of his thoughts. Who had promised him? What had they promised him?

Bella. Ask when they are returning home, I instructed. I hoped it would trigger a thought from one of them that would tell me what Fred had been promised.

"So are you here for good, or until the wolf threat is over?" she asked.

I hissed quietly as Afton's thoughts answered my question.

We are here long enough for the succubus to destroy your family, and then you will come to my masters willingly. Foolish girl. Chelsea is right; she looks so much like her … I wish we could kill this one.

I didn't understand the rest of his statement, but it didn't matter. I knew what I needed. Aro wanted her for the guard, and he was going to use our deaths to weaken her resistance.

I felt a wave of relief that it was not her life they wanted, and then a surge of guilt that it was the lives of the rest of my family he really wanted.

Bella, we need to get home. Now, I thought to her, trying to conceal my panic.

"Well, it was good to see you again, but you were right, this place makes me a little uncomfortable. I'll see you soon." She waved and ran back toward where Emmett and I were hiding.

She continued on past us, then came to a halt out of sight of the Volturi.

"Hurry up," she hissed.

We crept out of our hiding place and joined her.

"What did you hear?" she asked. "What do they want?"

I began to speak, then hesitated. I was uncertain about dropping this bombshell while we were out in the open. From what I understood it was the vision of the family's future that had caused her to slip into the void, not her own death. If I told her they were aiming to kill us all now, she could become lost again.

"Let's get home," I said. "That way we can discuss it as a family.

She nodded and set off home again.

When we got back, Eleazar had left, and the family was spread about the house engrossed in solitary pursuits. Jasper registered our return first, due to the scope of Bella's emotions, and called everyone to the lounge to meet us.

"Did you manage to find them?" Carlisle asked.

I nodded and pulled Bella onto my lap, taking comfort in her weight against me.

"And did you learn anything that could assist us?"

"They want Bella," I said, then paused to allow them their reaction before continuing with what, to me at least, was the lesser concern. "And they think they will achieve that if we are not here to hold her back."

"You mean they want you dead?" Bella asked. Her voice was emotionless with shock.

"It doesn't mean they will achieve it." I hurried to reassure her. I was worried about the stiff set of her shoulders. I feared it was the void creeping in again.

"Darn right they won't!" Emmett said. "They come after us, we will destroy them. We've got Bella on our side. They've got no chance."

His thoughts weren't nearly as sanguine as his words. He was scared for us all, but he had a lot of faith in Bella.

She nodded thoughtfully. "Did you hear anything else? Like how or when they are going to attack?"

"I don't know exactly, but I don't think they are planning to attack us themselves." I tightened my arms around her, both to comfort and restrain. "They mentioned the succubus."

"Irina!" Esme gasped.

Bella broke from my grip with ease and charged towards the door. A feral roar of fury rumbled from her. I had never heard anything like it from one of our kind, and it was not a little frightening.

Emmett tackled her and caught her legs, but was pushed away by her shield. She ran out of the door, and I followed hot on her heels.

"Call Tanya," I shouted back to the house. "If Irina is there, make sure she stays."

I didn't know if they did it or not, my focus was all on Bella as she ran though the wilderness. I couldn't see her face. She was far ahead of me, but I suspected I would know what she would look like. After I bit Bella, Jasper attacked me with every intention of killing me. I had no doubt Bella would be wearing the same ferocious expression as he had then.

She charged through the door to the Denali house, and I heard her shouting for Irina. I caught her around the waist as I got inside and was relieved to see that she didn't force me away.

"Where is she?" she asked through gritted teeth. "Where is Irina?"

"We haven't seen her for days," Tanya said. "She is away. What has happened? Why do you want her?"

The rest of the family had caught up to us now and stared in horror as they saw Bella's furious face.

"I want her, so I can tear off her pretty head and toss it in the ocean," she snarled. "That bitch has been working with the wolves."

I heard a muffled groan from Eleazar. We had known the wolves had assistance, but none of us imagined it would be Irina.

"She would never do that," Kate said. "I know she went to the Volturi, but since you attacked her last time, we have spoken about what happened. She accepts that she did wrong and promised to leave you alone."

"Oh yeah, she's leaving me alone now. She's got her dogs working for her."

She was calming now, her eyes returning to gold rather than the onyx they had been. She was still angry though, but it was now shifting to a chilling calm. It was unnerving, but at least she wasn't in the void.

"The shapeshifters?" Tanya asked.

"No, the Children of the Moon. She is working with them and, I think, the Volturi. They do want Bella, but to get her, they are targeting the rest of us," Alice explained.

I turned Bella so I could hold her against my chest, gyving comfort now, rather that restraining. I told them what I had heard from Afton's thoughts: the mention of the succubus.

"Unless you or Kate are planning something, we can only assume they mean Irina," I said.

Eleazar and Carmen believed us, but Tanya and Kate were blinded by their love for their sister.

"I can't believe she would do this," Kate said. "She wouldn't be so cruel."

"Apparently, she would," Jasper said harshly. "She's your sister, I get that, but she has risked our family. If Bella doesn't kill her, I will. Now where is she?"

"We really don't know," Tanya said. "She is away at the moment. She said she needed some time to think on what happened to Laurent."

"I bet she did," Bella said harshly. "Plotting the death of seven people takes a lot of thought."

"I don't think she knows that is the plan," I said carefully. "Aro would never have told her the truth. I believe he would tell her you are the target and allow her to make her plans. When the time comes, I imagine the guard that have remained in the area will be used to ensure it is us that perishes."

"Whatever they told her, she has crossed a line," Jasper said savagely. "Us or Bella, it's all the same really. Alice's vision showed that. If it is Bella that is the one killed, it destroys the family just as much as it would if we were the ones killed. We need to make a plan, we need to protect ourselves."

"Way ahead of you." Bella locked eyes with him, and a moment of silent communication passed between them. "We need to protect you all and the pack. We're going back to Forks." She turned to Eleazar. "And you are going to help me with this shield. I want to understand every facet of it."

Her tone was demanding and bordering on rude, but none of us questioned it. Coven dynamics were cast aside as she spoke.

Bella had just become a leader.


	26. I See It Now

**Chapter Twenty-Five - I See It Now  
**

**Edward POV**

Two days after our encounter with the Volturi found us packing up the cars and preparing to return to Forks.

We hadn't progressed any further with the Irina issue. Tanya and Kate refused to believe their sister could be involved in the plot against us. They were blinded by their love. However, they were willing to join us in Forks for our protection.

It was a surreal feeling to be the one that needed protection, a feeling shared by the rest of the family. Though we all knew Bella was the strongest of us all now, we were used to fighting a threat against her. She was taking the role of protector seriously; it was as if this was who she was supposed to be all along. She had just needed a situation to allow her to step into the role.

Jasper had contacted Peter, and he and Charlotte offered to meet us there. The pack wouldn't be happy about having human drinkers in their territory, but, as Bella said, they had no choice. If they wanted protection, they would have to deal with it.

Bella had called them after we left the Denalis' house and told them we were coming back. They were excited about seeing her, and bizarrely even more excited at the prospect of an enemy to fight.

Eleazar visited the next day, and he and Bella spent hours heads bent together discussing her shield. We weren't excluded from the discussion, but it felt like we were eavesdropping on a private conversation when we joined in.

My musings that she was a leader were reinforced by the way we all reacted to her. She wasn't remotely overbearing, but we found ourselves looking to her for guidance. A situation illustrated when Carlisle sought her advice when he and Esme wanted to go hunting. He was unsure about any of us being alone with the Volturi so close.

She had gaped at him like he had two heads when he asked if she thought it would be safe, and then roared with laughter.

"Carlisle, you are almost four centuries old. I think you know how and when to hunt," she snorted.

It felt natural for him to ask though. There was no shift of power. He was the patriarch and father as he had always been, but it was as if he had stepped aside in the matter of physically leading us. Rather than being upset by this development, he was proud of her and took pleasure in seeing her so confident. We had finally found a way to show them that she was not the girl in a coma anymore. I just wished it hadn't come at such cost.

When Eleazar left, she went outside to wrestle with Emmett. Initially, I thought she was taking time to relax and have some fun, but the concentration with which she batted off his attacks showed there was nothing relaxed about it for her. She was preparing to fight for real.

Jasper was growing concerned. He didn't like the distant look in her eye. It seemed that even when speaking to someone, her mind was only half in the conversation. When she attacked Irina the day she returned from Volterra, he had compared her to Maria. I hated the comparison, but now I saw some basis for it. She was not a cold killer the way Jasper's creator had been, but she was a leader. She knew what to say to people to evoke fear and to gain compliance. None of it was conscious; it was just part of who she was.

I was becoming worried when she came to me in the early hours of the morning and asked if I would lie with her awhile. We went to our bedroom, and she curled up against my chest and closed her eyes as if sleeping. For those few hours before we were roused to help with the packing, she was my fragile, sweet, Bella again.

Because there were so many of us travelling down, I was going to ride on Bella's bike with her, while Tanya and Kate took my car. Jasper was taking Alice on his bike. Emmett was feeling very put out about this, though he was not excluded, as he was going to race us in his jeep. I suspected he was going to be visiting a motorbike dealership at the next available opportunity.

It was sad to be saying goodbye to Denali, especially for Bella and I. This was the place we had been reunited, but we would soon be back. If we were able to deal with all the wolves at the next full moon, we could come straight home again.

I expected Bella to want to drive while I rode pillion, but she gestured me forward instead.

"I want to use the journey to think, and vampire mind or not, I am not going to be able to beat Emmett if I am not concentrating completely on the road," she said.

We lined up at the drive, and Kate, who had taken on the role of referee, stood in front of us with a hand raised. "Ready. Set. Go!"

With a roar of engines, we set off. We had the advantage on the bikes as we were able to skirt Emmett in the jeep and build speed on the drive, but once on the road, Emmett pushed the jeep to its limits.

When we stopped at a gas station in Canada, Bella called Sam and told him we were on our way. He arranged to bring the pack over that evening when we got home. We only had two days until the full moon, and we needed to prepare.

We kept a steady pace on Emmett's tail most of the way home. Jasper and Alice led the group, but as we passed into Washington, Bella encouraged me to push the engine a little more, and we sped off ahead of them.

Jasper could have kept up with us, Rosalie had made the same modifications to both bikes, but I had an advantage with my gift, and we flew ahead.

With triumphant laughter, we pulled up in front of the house by late afternoon. We hurried to the porch and sat as if we had been relaxing there for hours just as Jasper and Emmett pulled into the drive.

"You cheated," Emmett accused.

"How is being a better driver, cheating?" I asked innocently.

He stomped into the house and began pulling dust covers from the furniture, grumbling all the while. This was a situation we were all familiar with, having moved between houses, many times before. We all knew Esme would not allow us to relax fully until the house was in some sort of order.

Alice went to work on the dust that had accumulated in our absence while Bella made a list of groceries to get in for the packs' visit.

We had the house completely set right before Esme and Carlisle arrived, and I was dispatched to the grocery store.

"Cookies again?" I asked with a quirked brow.

"Yes, cookies again, and lots of coffee, you know how I like the smell."

I laughed, pleased that she seemed to be in a lighter mood than we had seen in the last couple of days, and I headed into town to shop.

When I got back home, I expected to find Bella waiting in the kitchen for my arrival, but she was in the garden, tending what had been Renee's garden. I didn't like seeing her there given the significance of the place in the vision.

She looked up as I approached her. "I know you don't like it," she said by way of a greeting. "But I refuse to let one vision dictate what I do. This is Renee's garden; I'm not going to avoid it."

"I understand, but I have your groceries. You only have a couple of hours before the wolves descend. Don't you want to make a million cookies before then?"

"Way ahead of you. Esme is going to make cookies, and Emmett is going to finish fixing the garage for Rose. Then he's coming out for some shield training."

I left her to her pursuits and took the groceries to where Esme was waiting in the kitchen. She smiled sadly at me when I came in.

_I told her I would do the garden, but I think she needed a distraction._

I quirked an eyebrow. What had I missed?

_There was a small altercation between her and Tanya and Kate. They made it clear they were here for our protection only and would have nothing to do with the wolves. They see it as a betrayal to Irina._

"That's ridiculous. None us of would be in this position if not for Irina."

She made frantic shushing motions at me, but I didn't care that Tanya and Kate were within earshot; they should know how we felt.

"What happened with Bella?"

"She pointed out that they were mistaken and told them there would be no ill feeling if they chose not to stay after all. She is very.…" She struggled to find the words. "Focused. I'm not sure how to talk to her when she's like this."

"None of us do," Jasper said, coming into the room. "Message from Alice, you will want to check the containers before you start baking. Apparently salt and sugar taste very different, though they look similar."

She nodded gratefully and exchanged the bowl of salt she was about to pour into the cookie mixture for sugar.

He boosted himself up to sit on the counter. "I don't think you need to worry about Bella though. She is changing the way we all did; it is just more intense with her as the situation is different."

"Changing how?" I asked.

"The same way you did when you returned from your years away," Carlisle said. He was followed in by Rosalie and Alice. I could hear Emmett and Bella talking outside.

"Big events change us," he continued. "My change came when I made you a vampire and found companionship for the first time. For Esme, it was when Rose joined our family, and she was able to act as a mother. Jasper and Alice went through it when adjusting to the vegetarian diet, and Rose," he gave her an apologetic glance, "was a little later in doing so."

"When Bella was hurt," she said thoughtfully. "When I accepted that Jasper was right, and Bella was still there, it changed me. I was needed properly for the first time in my life."

"Precisely, Bella is now experiencing that same change. It has manifested in a way I never expected, but at the same time, it seems fitting. She had always managed well strategically. When James was tracking her, she was the one that had the idea to hide in Phoenix. When we were preparing to face Victoria's newborns, she had the plan to create a blood trail. As much as I hate to admit it, her plan to go to Volterra alone was the right choice. She was born for leadership, and now she has a chance to show it."

I marveled at his words. He was, as usual, correct. I had never thought of it before. I thought our nature meant that we were frozen at the moment of change, only ever affected when we found our mate, but now that he spoke of it, it made sense.

My admiring musings were cut off by a roar of laughter from outside. I rushed to the window just in time to see Emmett flying toward the house. Esme shouted a warning, but he was frozen in place a few inches from the wall.

"It's okay, Mom," Bella said. "We've been doing it a while, and I haven't missed yet."

"Missed what?" I asked.

She grinned. "Emmett."

"Come have a go," he offered. "It's really cool."

I dutifully went outside to them and listened as Bella explained what they were doing. She was essentially using Emmett as a football.

She would use her shield to knock him away and then catch him before he made impact. I assumed from the pile of broken trees at the edge of the clearing that it hadn't always been so successful, but she explained that she practiced with trees before moving onto Emmett.

"You should see it," Emmett said happily. "She can juggle."

"Which will, of course, be very useful in a fight," she said, rolling her eyes. "The shielding thing is handy, though. I need another test subject, Edward?"

I nodded and allowed her to position me beside Emmett at one end of the yard.

The others stood on the porch watching with interest. Carlisle was paying particular attention, preparing to recount the situation for Eleazar. He was travelling to Forks too, but he did not share the same love for speed as the rest of us and wouldn't arrive till later tonight.

"Ready?" she asked.

"When you are."

It felt like I had been hit by a truck. Her shield snapped out and drove the air from my lungs. There was a split second of movement before I collided with her shield again just before I would have smashed through the glass.

"That is quite remarkable," Carlisle said. "Do you think you could do it with more targets?"

"I could push more away, but I don't think I can catch them. The shield doesn't seem to split into more than two. I can try though. Are you volunteering?"

He nodded eagerly and hurried forward to stand between Emmett and I. Once again, the irresistible force pushed me back and then the same collision as I was halted. But someone wasn't. There was a crash of glass and a bellow of laughter. I turned to see Carlisle climbing out of the smashed window.

"Yep, I can only stop two," she said with a satisfied nod. "Sorry about the window, Esme."

"Don't worry, dear. Emmett is quite adept at fixing the windows. He needed to be, the amount he breaks."

"Is it always two?" Carlisle asked.

She nodded. "I can split it to hold two people apart, and I can shield a group, but I can't physically split it any further that that."

"I wonder why that is," he mused.

"Because it's about protecting," she said, moving to the porch steps and sitting down. "The shield is essentially selfish. It protects me. I can hold two people by sending the shield away from myself and separating it, but separating it also weakens it."

I gazed at her curiously. This was more than we had learnt in the sessions with Eleazar and Carlisle. She seemed so much more in tune with her gift now than ever before.

"Don't ask how I know," she said, seeing the question in my eyes. "I couldn't explain it if I tried. I just understand it now."

The foul smell of burning reached my nostrils, and Esme clapped a hand to her forehead. "The cookies!"

She ran into the house, and the burning smell intensified as she pulled them from the oven. I heard a muffled curse and the sound of the trashcan lid slamming closed.

"You want to go help her out, Grizz?" she asked. "Put those lessons I gave you to good use."

He beamed and disappeared into the house.

"When did you teach Emmett to cook?" I asked.

Rosalie chuckled. "You have no idea the things she had us doing during the Drillmaster Swan sessions. Teaching Emmett to cook was the tamest of the lot."

"That's a good point," she said, her attention fixed on Jasper. "I seem to remember someone signing up for classes online. You should re-register; I could do with a study buddy, and Rose should start the helpline stuff again."

"Here she goes again," Alice muttered. "You should run while you still can. Hang around too long and she'll find a project for you to do, too."

I quite liked the idea of a project, though I would prefer it if we could deal with the wolves first.

**xXx**

**Irina POV**

I smiled as I read the note.

_**Irina,** _

_**The Cullens are in trouble. We have gone to Washington to help protect them. There are Volturi in the area and possibly werewolves.** _

_**Please come to Carlisle's Forks house. We are safer as a group. I don't want you to be alone while these things are happening. Please call me when you get this. I'm worried.** _

_**Tanya** _

_**p.s. Don't worry about Bella. I'll talk to her. You belong with your family.** _

I wasn't remotely worried about Bella. I would be getting my revenge upon her soon enough.

She'd had everything I ever wanted. And she destroyed it all.

She had a mother and had her killed. She had her mate and ran from him. She had all the power, but refused to harness it. Everything I had ever wanted and lost, she had.

Everything she had, I was going to take from her.

Starting with her life.

I had gone to the Volturi and told them of her crime, but they had let her leave alive. They were caught under her spell the same as all the others. I was the only one that could see her for what she really was.

A curse.

My plans were made. Now all I had to do was wait for the right time. I would use the same impulsive weakness that had made her rush to Volterra to trap her now. The longer she was left waiting, the easier it would be to destroy her and the abominations. It was unfortunate that the rest of my family had gone to defend her too, but I would make sure they were safe when the time came.

I threw the paper into the fireplace and turned to face my guest.

"They have moved into position. Go home. I will come for you when it is time."

He nodded curtly, then turned on his heel and left.

I started a fire in the empty grate and hugged myself as I imagined the girl setting her plans for the fight, a fight that would be a long time coming.

I was nothing if not patient.


	27. From Promise To Promise

**Edward POV**

Bella was pacing the lounge impatiently.

The wolves were due twenty minutes ago and she was getting annoyed. Her irritation had less to do with the news we had to share, and more about seeing her old friends.

"Alice?"

"Soon," she said. "If you help me out I could nail it down to an exact time."

"Or I could spend the next half hour waiting while you explored all the pretty pictures in your head," she teased. "I think I'm better off waiting."

They had tried to use Bella's ability to enhance Alice's visions to see the wolves, but Alice got carried away with all the possibilities and lost track of what she was supposed to be looking for half the time.

Ten minutes later the sound of a chugging engine came up the drive. Bella beamed and Emmett snorted.

"Hey, that's…"

"The beast," Bella finished for him. "I gave it to Jared when we were here last. It seemed sad to leave it sitting on Charlie's drive going to waste."

"Especially when a museum could have exhibited it," Jasper teased, then flinched as she waved an airy hand and struck him on the forehead with her shield.

"I am not liking this new ability," he said bitterly.

Bella's old truck came to a wheezing halt outside the garage doors and Jared jumped out and into Bella arms. Unlike their last meeting this time she was the one spinning him around. It was a ludicrous sight; his six foot form dwarfed her small frame, but her strength far exceeded his own.

"Good to see you, Bells," he said, tousling her hair. "And not just because when you're here there is more action."

She laughed. "It's good to see you too. Where are the others?"

Even as she said it, the sound of another car coming up the drive reached us.

"Sam is on his way, but the rest of the pack is staying on the rez."

That was probably for the best. The more protection they had the better. We would need to plan how and where we were going to position ourselves when the time came.

I heard the thoughts of the passengers of the other car, and started as I recognized one as Billy Black. I wondered what he was doing here, if he had another favor to ask of Bella I was going to be most displeased. He had already pushed his luck in that respect.

Sam pulled to a stop, then jumped out and helped Billy into his chair.

"I hope you don't mind me coming," Billy said. "I thought it may be helpful to have another of the Elders here to discuss this new threat."

"Not at all," Carlisle said, attempting to mask his surprise.

Billy was being perfectly respectful, a vast difference to our last encounter with the man. When we moved to Forks we informed him we had returned and had a exceptionally tense meeting with him in which he did all he could to intimidate us into leaving. Emmett had a lot of fun reenacting the scene later for Esme and Alice's benefit.

"So there is a new threat?" Jared asked excitedly.

The pack were apparently starved for excitement these days. Sam did not seem as eager to fight as Jared though, I pondered over that for a moment before Bella drew my attention back to the conversation.

"How are you sleeping, Billy?" she asked, bending down to kiss his cheek.

"Peacefully, every night," he replied with a smile.

"I'm glad."

Their exchange drew the attention of the family, and I realized they hadn't heard about Billy's bizarre request. Neither of them elaborated though, and no one else asked.

"Would you like to come inside, or are you happier out here?" Esme asked.

"We'll come in, if that's okay," Sam said.

We filed into the house and settled on the couches. Unconsciously we had all taken our seats on opposing sides. Billy, Sam and Jared were beside the fireplace, while we were seated opposite. All except Bella that is. She flopped down on the couch beside Jared, looking completely at ease.

Whether she did it intentionally or not, I didn't know, but it served to bridge the gap into conversation perfectly.

"So this new threat," Sam began. "Are they here for us, or for you."

"Both. Their target is the pack, and by extension the tribe," Bella said. "I'm sure you have heard the news about the recent attacks."

Sam nodded.

"Well those deaths were caused by werewolves."

"There is another pack?" Billy said incredulously. He was simultaneously excited at the prospect and upset. The possibility of another tribe having the same history as the Quileutes upset his sense of tribal pride, but he also saw the possibility of extending their knowledge.

I understood he had been working closely with Sam and the younger wolves to develop control of the rage the wolf caused. He was determined that no one else would suffer the same fate as his son.

"Not in the way you are thinking," Carlisle said, taking up the explanation. "There are werewolves in existence that are the true wolves of legend. Your pack are more appropriately named shape-shifters. These other wolves are called The Children of the Moon, and are the werewolves of legend. Their ability to change is tied to the phases of the moon."

"They look different too," Bella supplied. "You guys look like real wolves, these look like the hokey wolves in horror movies, walking on two legs, the whole deal. They are also tough, trust me when I say you don't want to screw with them."

"You were injured?" Billy asked. His thoughts were horrified,

I hadn't considered the symmetry to Jacob's attack before. She hadn't liked to talk about what the wolf had done to her, outside of the fact Rosalie had fixed her up. I now saw a flash of her injury pass though Rosalie's mind, and I clenched my hands into fists. It was horrific. Only the fact I had seen her perfectly healed stomach many times since stopped me from checking her for injuries now.

"I was, but I'm fine. The point is that we believe they are on their way to La Push." She turned to Sam. "Do you remember the vampire you guys saved me from?"

He nodded. "How could I forget? It was my first real test of strength."

"Yeah, well, he had a friend in Alaska, and we think she's the one working against us. She has a vendetta against you all for killing him, and me for causing it. Her essential plan is for her wolves to finish you and me off. She doesn't realize she is being played though. Our kind have a group that police us. They want me, and think by killing my family they will get me."

She said it bitterly, but I couldn't tell if it was directed at her or the Volturi. With Bella there was no way of knowing.

"They are coming for us all," Carlisle said. "We can protect ourselves with Bella's assistance, but if we work together we can protect you too."

He didn't want them thinking we were relying on them for protection, we weren't. If not for Bella's feeling of responsibility we would call on our other vampire friends to work with us against both the Children of the Moon and the Volturi.

"Do we know when they are coming?" Sam asked.

"The next full moon is tomorrow night." Jasper said. "The attacks have been happening every month as they worked their way towards La Push, or at least we believe so. If you are willing to work together again we need to set a plan in place to protect the reservation. Can your people be moved?"

"I don't see how without informing them of the truth," Sam said. "There are over three hundred of us living on the reservation, and of those less than two dozen know what we are."

"Then we need to find a way to protect them at home," Bella said. I could tell she was itching to get to her feet and pace, but was refusing herself.

"I think they will come at you on land. These won't be like the newborns, we can't draw them in with a scent. When they are in their wolf forms they are irrational and volatile. They will position themselves before the moon rises and let their basic nature take care of the rest. If we can find them before they change that would be better, but if not we will have to spread out and protect the borders."

She fixed her gaze on Billy. "We will be crossing the old boundary line. I don't want territory issues holding us back in a fight. You have nothing to fear from us, and you know it."

He looked uncomfortable, but Sam overrode him.

"It's just tradition, Billy. It's not worth people getting hurt over."

He nodded. "The borders are effectively disbanded. Your coven is free to come and go as you wish."

"Excellent," she said with satisfaction. "There will be others too. Four of them are vegetarians like us, but two are human drinkers."

She held up a hand to halt their protests. "They will not hunt in the area, and are judicious in their prey. They are risking themselves for your protection, and are both good fighters. You don't like it, feel free to face the wolves alone."

She said it with supreme indifference, but I knew what it cost her to stand up to her friends like this.

"I don't like this, Bella," Sam said.

"You don't have to like it, you just have to accept it. You have a family to take care of now Sam, if you want them safe this is how it has to happen."

"We will need to discuss this," Billy said.

"Sure, go ahead, you have all of five minutes. If we aren't needed here to protect you we're going to get out of town. There is a pack of werewolves on their way after all."

Emmett snorted. He was enjoying seeing her like this.

Jasper's head snapped up and he grinned. "I think you are about to meet our friends, maybe seeing them will help hasten your decision."

I heard the approaching footsteps, then saw Peter and Charlotte emerge from the tree line.

Jasper stood to open the door for them. Their faces were screwed up with disgust as they caught the scent of Sam and Jared.

"No offense Esme, I know you like to keep a clean house, and all, but what the hell is that god awful smell?" Charlotte asked.

Bella laughed. "Peter, Charlotte, meet Billy, Sam and Jared." She gestured to them each in turn. "The purveyors of the god awful smell. Though to be fair we apparently smell pretty foul to them too."

"Well in that case it's good to meet you," Peter said with a grin.

Their easy greeting had eased Billy and Sam's qualms somewhat, despite the bright crimson of their eyes.

"So what do you think?" Bella asked. "Do we have a deal, are do we need to pack up and leave?"

Sam scowled at her, but nodded his reluctant agreement. "We have a deal."

xXx

We planned until the early hours of the morning. It provoked powerful memories in other members of the family and Sam and Jared, as this was how they had passed time preparing for the battle with Victoria's newborns. I heard more than one person muse over the similarities, and then look to Bella and see the difference. Then they had been fighting to protect her, and now she was directing them.

Billy thought sadly of Charlie and Jacob, wondering what they would think if they could see her now. Bella caught his gaze and smiled ruefully, as if she knew exactly what he was thinking.

I liked to think Charlie would be proud if he could see her. It may not be the life he had hoped she would have, but the fact she was living it at all had to be something he could take pride in. As for Jacob, I didn't know, and I cared even less.

Around two-am we drew our discussion to a close, and saw Sam, Jared and Billy to the door. As they drove out of sight, Tanya and Kate arrived from the rear of the house. They had been lurking in the forest for the past couple of hours; their misguided loyalty to Irina stopped them coming to join our conversation.

We had barely begun telling them what had been decided before I heard the hum of an engine pulling onto the drive as Eleazar and Carmen arrived. We waited for them to arrive, then Bella explained our plan.

We were going to meet at the old boundary line by the river, and from their spread out to search the area. We had until one hour before moonrise to search, then if we hadn't found a sign of the wolves we would return to our assigned places at the reservation.

None of us had wanted to make the decision, but we were forced to accept we couldn't effectively protect everyone in the area. When the wolves came there would be casualties, but if we tried to cover too large an area we would leave more people vulnerable. We had to trust in the wolves vendetta against La Push to target them.

Bella had been the one to voice this fact, and I had seen the strain in her eyes as she said it. She would naturally want to protect everyone, but she was finally learning the lesson Jasper tried to teach her after the Nome attack: sometimes you had to protect yourself first.

A quiet somberness fell over us all. We were preparing to fight an unknown number of enemies to protect both ourselves and many other people. Any of us could be hurt, or even killed.

It seemed to dawn on us all at once. Emmett took Rosalie's hand and led her upstairs, then one by one the mated pairs each left the room, seeking solitude.

Bella took my hand and led me outside to the yard and stretched out on the grass. I lay down beside her, choosing to look at her rather than the starry sky.

 _What are you thinking love?_ I asked.

"That I'm scared," she replied. "I'm scared something will go wrong and I will fail us somehow. I'm scared someone will get hurt or killed because I wasn't strong enough to protect them. More than anything I'm scared that I will fail you just like Asima failed her family."

"Bella." I cupped her cheek and turned her face to mine. "I'll be fine, even if you weren't here to protect me I am capable of defending myself."

"I know I can defend you physically, my shield would never let you be hurt, what scares me is that vision."

She sat up and hugged her knees, looking at Renee's garden.

"I know I said I didn't believe it would happen, but that vision keeps coming back to me. I can't bear the thought of everything being destroyed because of me."

"So you aren't worried about dying, you just don't want the family torn apart because of it?" I said, knowing even as I said the words that they were true.

She nodded sadly. "I've already dealt with this once and I don't think organizing a few online classes and teaching someone to cook is going to cut it this time."

I hadn't even considered how this would feel to her after all that happened before. She had been in this position before, and had done all she could to keep the family occupied for after she was gone. Now there was nothing she could do, and she had seen the visual evidence of what could happen.

"I'm not arrogant enough to believe that it is my death that does _that_ to us," she said. "I think if any one of us was lost the effect would be the same, but I keep coming back to Asima's story and seeing the similarities."

"Carlisle, could you come out here," I said. I could hear him and Esme whispering quietly, they were having a similar discussion to ours.

He and Esme came and joined us, followed by Alice, Jasper, Emmett and Rosalie. Peter and Charlotte were otherwise engaged, and the Denalis were absorbed in conversation about Irina.

"Bella and I have been talking, and she made me realize something."I said,. "Alice's vision, though horrific, is a warning. We are all going into this scared, which we should be, but if we let the fear paralyze us we are inviting the outcome."

Bella's eyes lightened as she understood what I was saying. "Exactly. We can't do anything about the trigger than we aren't already doing, but we can stop what came after. If something happens to _any_ of us, the rest of us need to stick together."

Carlisle and Esme agreed immediately, in the vision they had been the ones that stayed at home, while the rest of us lost ourselves. Emmett and Rosalie were reluctant, but nodded grudgingly. Jasper was the problem, as I had known he would be.

"So if you die you expect us to carry on playing happy families?" he asked. "After all we spoke about before, you really think that's a possibility?"

"I _know_ it's a possibility, _because_ of what you said," she said cryptically. "And it isn't just me We're all thinking that because it was my grave you saw, but I'm sure if Alice kept looking she could see the result of any of our deaths. We _all_ need to agree on this!"

I wasn't entirely sure about this. She may not realize it but Bella was a vital part of our family. In the two years we were without her we were all lost in the search, but when together things were different. Without her we didn't seem to work as a family anymore. The issues weren't merely limited to Jasper and I, we were all fractious when together. It wasn't until she returned that I saw how deep the damage had been.

"I agree," I said. "No matter who or what, we need to stick together."

Jasper stared at her for a moment, then nodded grimly. "I'll stay."

She smiled, satisfied with his acquiescence.

"Good."


	28. Leave It All To Me

**Bella POV**

Carlisle directed his steps toward Olympus, but I shook my head.

"Too obvious. Mount Mathias will work much better."

He looked impressed. "You've given this a lot of thought."

"I play to win."

The incline would have been a real undertaking for a human, but we were able to scale it fast and unobserved. We caught sight of Esme and Carmen passing, and shortly after Alice, Jasper, and Edward. I was sure Rosalie and Emmett would stick together, so the only unknowns were Eleazar, Tanya, Kate, and the pack. Our biggest opponents were the pack. This was their territory. They patrolled this area every day. They would know where the best hiding places were.

My plan when alone had been to let the others chase each other around for a while and sneak up on them one at a time, but seeing as I was now teamed up with Carlisle, and the others were in groups too, I would have to rethink.

The allotted hour for positioning ourselves ended, but I felt no hurry to head out and search. I was enjoying the peaceful time with Carlisle.

"Tell me about Esme," I said.

"What would you like to know?"

"Everything. How you knew she was the one. What your life was like before her."

He smiled and took one of my hands in both of his own. It reminded me of how he would sit with me when I was in the hospital and after. He must have seen the symmetry too, as he looked sad for a moment, tracing a finger over the now empty veins on the back of my hand.

"The first time I saw Esme she was sixteen years old. I was working as a physician in her town at the time, and she had broken her leg falling out of a tree…"

He created clear images in my mind with his words. He told me about the young girl she had been, so fiery and full of life. I could picture the dazzled young girl, enamored with the handsome doctor. The desperate woman she became after the death of her child. He explained that she returned to his thoughts in the intervening years, and how he wondered what would become of her. The shock of recognition he felt when she was brought into the hospital he was working at. The relief when he detected the heartbeat the humans had missed.

"I couldn't let her die," he said. "Her life couldn't end like that, in such pain and horror. I stole her away from the hospital and bit her. I expected her to hate me for what I had done to her, but instead, she loved me. I never imagined I could have such happiness as I do with her."

I was so absorbed in his words that the sound of running footsteps made me start.

Alice ran out from the trees, waving two scarves over her head. Edward and Jasper shouted after her.

"Why that devious little…"

"Apparently, you aren't the only one playing to win," he said.

A moment later, our phones beeped with an incoming message. It was Jasper and Edward announcing that they were out of the game and were willing to assist if we needed.

"What do you think?" he asked. "Do we want assistance?"

"Nope. We're better off alone. If those two idiots got caught by Alice, we don't want them slowing us down."

"You're the boss."

Casting aside my confused thoughts, I returned my attention to the game. Edward and Jasper had disappeared, so we didn't know if they had joined anyone else in the hunt. But we had spent long enough lurking here; it was time to move on.

"We should save Alice till last," I said thoughtfully. "She can't see us because I'm shielding, so the longer we leave her, the less people we have to find."

"Fine with me, who should we start with?"

"Any suggestions?"

"I admit it would be entertaining to see Esme's face as we took her and Carmen out of the game. They were awfully quick to leave Eleazar and I behind."

"A vengeful Carlisle," I said with a smile. "This is something I've not seen before."

"Does that mean you disapprove?"

"Definitely not."

We slid nimbly down the mountain and into the trees. I was trying to think where Esme would choose to hide when I noticed muffled giggles and groans.

I looked to Carlisle, but he shrugged.

We crept through the trees, towards the sound, trying to keep the sound of our footsteps silent. I recognized the scents of Rosalie and Emmett, and with recognition came realization, they were rounding fourth base up a tree!

I stifled my laughter, and lowered my voice to a whisper. "Get ready to run like hell. They are about to be very unhappy."

I crept as close to the tree as I could manage, trying to ignore the sounds coming from twenty feet above me. Emmett's pants had been discarded at the foot of the tree, and his scarf was hanging out of the back pocket. I snatched it up and then crept back to Carlisle's side.

"Ready?" I asked. He nodded.

I stretched out my physical shield and wrapped it around the base of the tree.

"Three … Two … Timber!" With a swift jerk, I turned the base of the tree to pulp, sending the half dressed Emmett and Rosalie falling to the ground.

I shot forward, snatching Rosalie's flag from her pocket while she grappled for her shirt and ran back to Carlisle.

Their yells of fury followed us, but they were barely audible above our laughter.

"Did you see their faces?" I choked.

"I saw far more of them than I ever wished to," he said. "But at least we got their scarves." He waved them above his head gleefully. I had never seen Carlisle so lighthearted; I really liked it.

We jogged slowly through the trees for a while, discussing possible hiding places Esme would choose when we caught two familiar scents on the air: Tanya and Kate.

"How are we going to get them?" he asked. "I don't think they are going to be as easy to catch off guard as Emmett and Rose."

I considered for a moment then grinned. "We never set any rules about gifts. I think this is an excellent opportunity to work on my ability to shield physically."

We followed the scents through the forest and found them sitting together in a small clearing. Judging from their whispered conversation, their plan was to wait for the rest of us to thin the ranks before joining the game properly.

Too bad for them I had no intentions of letting them play it safe.

"Do you want the capture this time?" I asked.

He shook his head. "I find it much more entertaining to watch you take them out."

I snuck forward and wrapped them in my physical shield, molding it to their forms so tightly they were almost immobile.

When Kate tried to reach up a hand to brush hair from her face, it blocked her and she hissed a curse.

"Bella!"

"At your service," I said with an ironic bow.

I held them pinned in place, but allowed my shield to drop from their waists so I could snatch their scarves.

"Nice playing with you. I think you'll find Edward and Jasper are out too, so you'll have some company in the loser circle."

I was rather enjoying myself with the mocking, but I heard a muffled groan from behind me followed by a triumphant laugh.

I spun around and saw an abashed looking Carlisle and a triumphant Esme holding his scarf.

I dropped Kate and Tanya from my shield and pushed it around myself instead.

"How on earth did she do that?" I asked incredulously.

"She distracted me," he said, not meeting my eye, "with her lips."

A startled laugh burst from me. I couldn't believe he had been caught like this. If it wasn't so ridiculous, it would have been annoying. Carlisle Cullen, vampire of almost four centuries, had been caught off guard by his wife's lips.

Well, if she wasn't going to play fair, neither was I. Keeping one shield firmly around me, I sent the other out and encased Esme. I snatched her scarf from her back pocket and made a run for it.

Carlisle called after me, but there wasn't anything I could do; he had been warned after all.

xXx

**Edward POV**

"Emmett and Rosalie are out," Jasper said, reading the incoming text message. "They're going to be north of the lake if we want to join them."

"But we're already out of the game."

"True, but that doesn't mean we can't help the others."

"Feeling a little bitter are we?"

"Hell yeah. I love Alice more than anything in the world, but that doesn't mean I don't want to get my own back for that trick with the scarves."

Alice, Jasper, and I had teamed up from the beginning. We thought with our combined gifts we could take care of the others without difficulty, leaving us against Bella at the end. What we didn't bank on was her devious nature.

I caught an errant thought of Bella, and when I questioned her about it, she became upset and admitted she was worried their relationship was irreparably damaged because of all that had happened while Bella was in the coma. I thought it was an odd outburst, coming so long after the fact, but we both hastened to reassure her anyway, citing Bella's loving nature and their close bond. While we were distracted by her apparent sadness, she snatched our scarves and made a run for it.

When we got to the lake, we found a disgruntled Emmett, throwing rocks into the water and Rosalie picking wood shavings out of her hair.

"Who got you?" Emmett asked.

"Alice. You?"

"Bella and Carlisle."

"I thought Bella was going it alone," Jasper said.

"Yeah, me too, but Carlisle was with her," Emmett said. "We were enjoying some personal time in a tree, and Bella came along and did that weird thing with her shield. Next thing I know, we're on the floor and her and Carlisle are running away, laughing like loons."

I couldn't believe Bella had teamed up with Carlisle after refusing me.

"I can," Jasper said.

"You can what?" Rosalie asked.

"Edward is all shocked because Bella teamed up with Carlisle." He turned to me. "That is what that big ole wave of shock and jealously was about, right?"

"The shock, yes. There was no jealousy though. I am just disappointed that I was denied the chance to spend more time with her. She has been very busy recently and I … Oh hell I wanted to win, and we all know teaming with Bella is the best way to do that, now Carlisle is going to reap the benefits."

Rosalie snorted. "I wouldn't be too sure about that. Look." She was pointing at the opposite side of the lake where two unmistakable figures were coming towards us: Esme and Carlisle."

"What happened?" Emmett shouted.

"Your wife cheats," Esme accused, glaring in my direction.

"As does mine," Carlisle added.

Carlisle told us that Esme had tricked him, omitting the exact details, but naturally I heard them all in his thoughts. I was still a little bitter about the fact he had teamed with Bella, so I shared the story with the others. It took a full five minutes for Emmett and Jasper to gain control of their laughter.

"Kate and Tanya are out of the game too, but are going back to the house. They are a little bitter about Bella using her shield on them. Their exact words were 'you Cullens cheat, and we will not be party to cheating'."

I laughed. Kate and Tanya were the absolute worst cheats I had ever come across. There was a reason we refused to play board games with them when we were together.

"So who's left in the game now?" Emmett asked.

"Alice, Bella, Carmen, and Eleazar – who teamed up and left me," Esme said.

"Imagine that," Carlisle said quietly.

"And unless any of you have the caught the pack. They are still in the game," she continued, ignoring Carlisle's jibe.

So that meant it was down to Bella and Alice. The pack were fast, and this was their territory, but they didn't really stand a chance against the masterminds that Alice and Bella were, especially if they teamed up.

"Are we going to start tracking them, or should we let them get on with it?" Rosalie asked.

"I think we should let things play out for a while," Carlisle said. "It would be interesting to see how things go. We have three days until the full moon, so there is plenty of time to find them if we need to."

"You think? Last time Bella played hide and seek, she was gone two years," Emmett said sarcastically.

Rosalie kicked his shin – a habit she seemed to have picked up from Bella. "That is not funny."

"I was kidding, Rosie."

"Speaking of the full moon," Carlisle said. "Bella and I were talking earlier, and she pointed out something we all seemed to have missed. The next moon falls on the solstice. If the wolves are going to strike at all, it would make sense for them to choose the longest night."

I wondered if I would ever stop being surprised by her insight. None of us had considered the significance of the dates of the moons. In fact, we had been discussing the possibility of returning to Alaska in the new year and coming back for the full moons only, and that was only to satisfy Bella's concerns. We had almost decided there was going to be no attack from either the wolves or the Volturi.

If Bella was correct, and I had no doubt she was, we were actually on the cusp of the attack.

"What should we do?" I asked. "Do we call off the game now and get into position."

"I don't think that is necessary just yet," Carlisle said. "Bella was the one to suggest the game after all, and she was the one to realize the significance of the date. If she doesn't think it is necessary, we should allow her to guide us. I am sure she will find us in time to get into position."

"We could use this time to prepare ourselves though," Jasper said, his strategic mind coming to the fore. "None of us have worked on our fighting ability for a couple of months now. I think this would be a good opportunity to practice."

We set to work preparing ourselves, switching opponents to test against different abilities. When Eleazar and Carmen arrived, complaining bitterly about Bella's tactics, Rosalie began to practice with her ability. She didn't like to use it so was still a relative novice at controlling it.

We fought. We practiced. We prepared.

xXx

Practiced we may have been, but we were missing two vital components of out preparations: Alice and Bella.

The pack had joined us one by one; surprisingly, it was Alice that had caught each of them. Sam was the first in, and he said he and Bella had called a temporary truce to talk before Alice caught him. Just as she had done with Carlisle, Bella had abandoned him. In hindsight, it was probably a good thing Bella and I hadn't teamed up. I never realized just how competitive she could be.

Kate and Tanya came to find us when we passed into the second day of our preparations, and we filled them in on Bella's theory. They didn't question it, with the exception of Irina's involvement, they accepted all Bella had to say just as the rest of us did.

Without Bella, we began the usual search through the forest, but there was no sign of the Children of the Moon. Four hours before the moon was due to set, Alice found us. She was surprised to find Bella was not with us; apparently she had seen her, but lost her in the chase.

"I think she's hiding somewhere," she said. "She sure was bent on winning, and she wouldn't know all the wolves were out of the game."

"Where would she hide though?" I asked.

Emmett opened his mouth to suggest we check the lake, but closed it when he caught my scathing look. Carlisle mentioned that they had started out on Mount Mathias, so we headed their first.

There was no fresh scent of Bella there, no sign that she had been there at all since she had been with Carlisle.

"I have a bad feeling about this," Jasper said redundantly. "No matter how into the game she was, she wouldn't let it get this close to the moon without finding us."

"Her phone!" Alice said, slapping a palm to her forehead.

I pulled my phone from my pocket and dialed her cell, but there was no answer.

A chill of fear shivered down my spine. This was all wrong.

"We split up," Carlisle said. "Spread out and search the forest. If anyone finds anything, call us. If there is nothing by the moon, we need to get to La Push."

I opened my mouth to protest, but he cut me off.

"Bella can protect herself. What do you think will happen to her if she finds we have allowed the tribe to be murdered while we searched for her?"

He ran through the memory of their conversation before they teamed up. _"I'm not going to hurt myself, nor will I allow anyone else to hurt us. I can and will protect us all."_

Once this was over, I was buying Bella an island, and we were never going to leave. I couldn't stand this constant fear and drama.

I didn't wait for the others to agree. I ran into the forest, trying to tap into the feeling I had last when in Rio. I had known something was happening with Bella that was why I had been roused from my fugue state. I didn't feel that now, but I didn't stop trying.

I hadn't been searching long before a howl split the quiet sounds of the forest. It was soon joined by others as the pack mind shared the news. I wasn't close enough to any of them to find what had upset them, but I ran in the direction of the first howl.

As I got closer, the heady scent of blood joined that of the wolves. I pushed myself even fast, coming to an abrupt halt as I saw the source of the scent.

"Shut up!" I shouted, silencing Jared's mournful howls.

At his feet was the body of a young woman, she had been mutilated almost beyond recognition, but I knew the light blue eyes well.

Even more horrifying that the sight of her mutilated body, were the scents in the air.

Bella and Irina had been here.


	29. The Hurt Doesn't Go Away

**Bella POV**

I felt a little bad for using my shield again to snatch Eleazar and Carmen's flags, but only a little. I was a Cullen after all, and we liked to win.

I jogged through the trees, not hurrying, just enjoying the freedom of movement for a while. I crossed many scent paths, but they were all those of people I had already captured. I knew Alice would be cunning enough to disguise her scent, and I wasn't ready for her anyway. I planned to let her get the wolves. They were harder to shield. It was only fair that she did her share of the work; capturing Edward and Jasper didn't count as they were obviously tricked.

I heard footsteps approaching and knew from the overpowering scent that it was one of the wolves. I scaled a tree and waited for them to draw into sight.

"I'm not here to capture, but to talk."

It was Sam. I wondered what he wanted to talk about. I had been trying to get him alone to talk for weeks. He always managed to keep someone with him, though. I wanted to know what was worrying him. Since we returned, the pack had become impatient for the fight, but Sam seemed to become less and less eager as time went on. An impressive feat given that he wasn't keen to begin with.

I jumped down beside him. "What's up?"

"I want to talk to you about the pack," he said somberly. "More specifically, my role."

"Are you sure I'm the person to talk to about this? I think Jared would be a better choice."

"Jared already knows. I just wanted to give you a heads up. I am stepping down as Alpha."

I gaped at him. I didn't know it was even possible to leave the role. Jacob had been the rightful alpha, but he never wanted the role. If Sam wasn't alpha, who would be?

"Jared is going to take over," he said, seeing the question in my eyes. "He was the second to phase, and is ready for the job. I am too old, and I have too much responsibility already."

"Emily and Jacob," I sighed. I'd not given much thought to how having a family would affect Sam.

"Exactly. I'm getting scared, Bella. It's not just me alone anymore. If something happens to me, I will be leaving a wife and child behind. Also, while I am phasing, I am not aging; Emily doesn't want to grow old alone."

I could relate to that. When I was human, I had been obsessed with looking older that Edward.

"Why are you telling me this, Sam?" I asked.

"Because this will be my last month as a wolf. The pack know, and I have their acceptance. In the new year, I will cease phasing and Jared will take over. I know there is the threat of these other wolves still to face, and I will be leaving you one man short if they ever come, but I have to put my family first for once."

I patted his arm. "I understand. I have had to accept that fact myself recently. You are right to put them first."

"Thank you for your understanding," he said with relief.

"Thank you for telling me. I knew something was wrong ever since we came back. I was worried it was something bad. It's a relief to know it was this."

He clapped me on the shoulder. "I think it's time we got back to the game. That sister of yours is doing a good job of taking out the pack. I don't want to be her next target."

I chuckled to myself. So Alice was working on the wolves. That simplified things so much.

"Truce over?" I asked.

"Truce over."

I jogged away, then turned back as I heard a delighted laugh and a groan. I turned back and saw Alice running toward me, clutching Sam's flag in her hand.

Without thought, I ran into the trees. I was not about to get caught by her. I heard her shout of defiance as her spark disappeared from my mind, and I passed out of her range. This was too much fun.

I scaled a spruce and jumped from tree to tree, plotting my next move. Alice was taking down the pack, I would give her a little longer to work. Then I could drop my shield and wait for her to find me. In the spirit of fair play, I wouldn't use my physical shield on her. I was confident that I could take her anyway.

I had been alone for a hours when I caught a familiar and unwelcome scent. Irina.

I growled deep in my throat. This time she wasn't going to get away from me.

As I ran, I planned. She _had_ to be here to strike with the wolves, but it wasn't time. There was still hours until the moon rose. Unless she was here to check up on us … No, I didn't believe that. There was something more going on here. I just didn't know what.

I cursed my stupid idea to play this game. I should have trusted my instincts and stuck with the family. I reached into my pocket for my phone, but it was not there. I must have lost it at some point, probably while I was bouncing through the trees like an idiot.

If the situation wasn't so dire, it would have been funny. After all our careful planning, we were screwed because I wanted to let loose and relax for a while.

Irina's scent grew stronger and was joined by another even more ominous one: blood. Freshly spilled human blood.

I pushed myself harder than ever, using our connection to scream out a message to Jasper and Edward. They had to be close. They wouldn't leave me to face this alone.

I recognized the beginnings of hysteria in my thoughts and tried to calm myself, but it was no use. I was terrified, and I needed them.

I burst through the trees and ground to a halt. There was a savaged body on the ground.

"Oh, God."

I dropped to my knees beside her. My breath came in shaky gasps. I hadn't seen her since before Jacob's attack, though she had apparently visited me in hospital and then later at home.

Her pretty face was destroyed. Her lovely hair matted with blood. Every pain she had suffered was illustrated in her wide staring eyes.

"Oh, Jessica, I'm so sorry," I choked.

I knew who had done this and why. She was taunting me, showing me what she was capable of. I had failed. Just like Asima, someone I cared about had suffered because of me.

I felt the void creeping in and had no will to stop it.

Let the wolves come. Let me be destroyed. It was the only way to end the curse.

xXx

**Irina POV**

The girl was so distracted by the body she didn't even hear me coming. This was too perfect. I fought the urge to cheer.

I heard her desperate apology and relished in her pain. I had chosen the body because she was an easy target, but apparently the girl knew her well. The fates were looking down on me today with favor.

I knew my family would be unhappy that I had killed a human, but I didn't care anymore. They should have supported me from the beginning. Laurent was one of us, practically my mate. It was right that he should be avenged. I would soon have a new coven, the most powerful coven of our kind. I would be the one to finish the abominations, and they would honor me.

The girl sank back on her heels, and her eyes became wide and staring. I knew what this meant. I had heard Eleazar speak of it. She had gone into what they called the void.

I waited a few moments to ensure she wasn't going to recover herself, but she remained perfectly still. Slipping out from the trees, I slapped her cheek. I had no expectations that she would react, but I felt a savage pleasure as her head rocked back.

It would have been more satisfying to drag her through the trees by her hair, but not as fast. Sooner or later, the others would catch up to us, and I had plans in place. I needed to meet with my new friends; my revenge party wouldn't be complete without guests.

I scooped her into my arms and began to run. Her head lolled against my shoulder, and the touch made my skin crawl. The position was too intimate and comforting, so I shifted her to my shoulder.

When we came to the river, I towed her downstream for a while before exiting the water. I wanted to confuse our scent pattern for the others. They would come for her sooner or later, _she_ was always the one they protected.

I had searched the area for the perfect place and found a small clearing in the woods. Now I directed my steps there, already planning my next more.

I hoped the girl would remain trapped within herself, but if not, the hostages would suffice to control her. One thing I had learned about the girl was that she had a penchant for self sacrifice. Anyone else with her power would use it for their own gain, but she was too cowardly to dare.

I got to the clearing and dumped her on the ground. She landed like a sack of rocks, her wide staring eyes now looking into the snow covered ground.

My hostage gasped as she recognized the girl. "Bella!"

"Speak again without my permission and I will ensure it will be the last time you ever speak above a moan," I warned.

She nodded jerkily. She was a fast learner. The child in her arms was still sleeping. She clutched it to her chest protectively.

Protectively and needlessly; I would not hurt an infant.

She looked at me beseechingly, and I sighed heavily. "Speak."

"Jacob is cold," she said quietly. "He's too small to be out in the snow. He will get sick."

I shrugged off my jacket and threw it at her. She struggled against the restraining ropes as she tried to cover him. Now that I was back, there was no need of the restraints, so I tore them away, allowing her to move. She swaddled the child and tucked it close against her chest.

I watched her carefully, seeing the fear and love in her eyes as she looked at it. There was nothing quite like a mother's love.

Ever since I was summoned back to Volterra, and learned the truth of the greatest tragedy in my life, I had wanted to share the story with someone. Now was my chance.

Who better to listen that a mother?

xXx

**Emily POV**

It happened so fast I didn't even have a chance to scream. I had been driving to the Cullens house. Sam and the others had been gone too long and I was worried. I had barely pulled up in front of the house before she struck. I was shoved into the passenger seat as she spun the car and drove back out onto the road.

I was so lost in my fear I didn't know how long we were driving before she pulled the car to a stop beside the road and scooped me and Jacob into her arms and set off running.

When we arrived at the clearing, she tied me to the tree and then disappeared. Jacob woke briefly, but I was able to soothe him back to sleep. I prayed he stayed sleeping. I didn't want him to see what was happening or what was to come. I was sure I wasn't going to make it through this alive. I just hoped she allowed him to live.

She was silent for a moment, and when she spoke, it was in a soft tone, better suited to talking to a fretful child that someone she had kidnapped and tied to a tree.

"I used to have a mother, you know. Mothers will do anything for their children, wouldn't they?"

Her gold eyes were focused on the bundle in my arms. I hugged him a little closer to me instinctively.

"Speak."

I nodded jerkily. "Y-y-yes. I would do anything for my son."

"I think sons matter more than daughters. My mother thought so anyway. She had three daughters. Three _faithful_ daughters, but she risked it all for a son."

I was trembling so hard my teeth chattered, but she didn't seem to notice. She didn't even seem to be talking to me.

"We were a happy family. We didn't need anyone else, but the child came and then the Volturi."

I had no idea what she was talking about, but, for now at least, it seemed that she was happy talking. The longer she spoke, the longer I lived.

"Would you like to hear a story? It doesn't have a happy ending, not yet anyway."

She cast a dark look at Bella. She was perfectly still, gazing out into the trees with no sign of emotion on her face.

"Our mother stopped coming home to my sisters and I. After months of absence, she came back, but she was not alone; in her arms was a child, a forbidden child. She came to us for protection. She feared that the Volturi had discovered her secret. She was right. We did not even have a chance to ask her why she had broken this cardinal rule of our kind before they arrived. They killed her and the child right in front of us."

Her words halted, and she fixed me with her penetrating gaze.

"She didn't even fight. She stood and let them kill her."

"I'm sorry this happened to you, but I don't understand what this has to do with me or my baby."

"You wouldn't. I didn't even understand until recently. You see, my friend was killed by those foul wolves. The Cullens wouldn't let me kill them, so I went to find some people that would. I went to their city and told them it all. They told me they would deal with the girl, and I came home to wait, but the Volturi betrayed us all. All our kind trusts them to do what must be done, but they were taken in just as they all are. None of them see her for what she really is. A menace. It was because of her that Laurent died. She brought those beasts into our lives and took my family from me."

Bella! All of this was because of Bella.

"They called me back, this time it was to tell _me_ a story. They told me the _real_ story of how my mother died. You see, the child she changed had been hurt by wolves too, not the abominations that your family are, but the true, pure wolves. My mother saved him from that life, by giving him immortality, but he was too young, too wild. He had to be destroyed and my mother as their maker. They told me things to taunt me, and then sent me away again.

"So I had to make a new plan. The Volturi had failed me, but through them I saw the solution. My mother had died because she went against nature to protect a human. My family, the Cullens, they all went against nature to protect that girl. I would do the same. I sought them out, told them about your beasts, and they were happy to help me. They see them for what they really are, and now they are going to kill them all."

I whimpered. My family, my friends, they were going to be slaughtered.

Something in me broke, and I lost control of the tears I had been fighting since she had taken me. I hadn't wanted to seem weak, but now it was beyond my ability to control. Keening wails tore from me. I couldn't bear it.

"Quiet!" she snapped. "I said quiet!"

I couldn't be quiet. I was too scared. Part of me hoped desperately that my cries would rouse Bella, but it didn't work. She remained still on the ground, her eyes wide and staring.

"Bella!" I shouted. "You have to help me!"

"I'm afraid Bella is not able to help anyone at the moment," she said with satisfaction. "Least of all, herself. You see Bella is a very special vampire. Special and useless."

It happened so fast it was a blur to my eyes. There was a sound like the crash of thunder as Bella threw herself at my attacker.

The sound woke Jacob, and he began to cry. I soothed him as best as I could, rocking him in my arms as I edged away from the twisting forms. I had barely got five paces before I was halted by an invisible wall.

"Bella!" I shouted. "Let me go!"

The writhing bodies stilled, Bella was pinning the small woman to the ground.

She fixed me in her gaze. "Run."


	30. All Alone

**Bella POV**

I felt awareness creeping in again and cursed it. I wanted the void. It was my escape.

I was still immobile, but I could hear voices. One of them made my focus snap back to the present with startling a jolt. Emily!

"Bella, you have to help me"

I heard Irina's gloating reply. "I'm afraid Bella is not able to help anyone at the moment, least of all herself. You see Bella is a very special vampire. Special and useless."

I forced away the void with all my might and launched myself at Irina. We collided with an echoing crash, a mess of clawing hands and snapping teeth.

Jacob was crying, the sound tore at my heart, but I pushed it away. Throwing my shield around him and Emily, I grappled with Irina.

"Bella! Let me go!" Emily demanded.

I wished I could. I pinned Irina to the ground and fixed Emily in my gaze.

"Run!"

She nodded jerkily. "You have to let me go."

"I am going to hold the shield over you until you are out of range. Trust me, Emily, this is the only way."

She backed away. I molded the shield to her and the baby and made it elastic. Hopefully it would protect them long enough for them to get to safety. Irina was writhing beneath me, twisting and bucking like a serpent.

I hadn't realized where we were until now; the circular clearing looked so different under snow. I had been avoiding this place since we returned. It was our meadow. My memories of Laurent and Jacob were so intertwined with this place I couldn't see past them to the beautiful memories I once had.

"Go, Emily!" I hissed.

Clutching Jacob to her chest, she ran into the trees. I waited until she was out of sight, then turned my attention to the hissing creature beneath me.

"I am going to need some serious motivation not to kill you," I snarled.

She laughed mirthlessly. "You won't kill me. You are a coward. You will run away like you always do."

"Not this time." I tightened my grip in her hair, yanking her head back.

I could kill her. It would be so easy to do. One swipe of my teeth and she would be finished. She was a menace; she had risked the lives of people I loved and orchestrated the death of hundreds of humans. I _should_ kill her … but she was loved. My family had once counted her one of their own, some still did. Could I ever look Tanya and Kate in the eye again knowing I had killed their sister?

"See, you can't kill me. You are weak and pathetic and…"

She trailed off with a wicked smile as the sounds of approaching footsteps reached us.

"Edward! Jasper!"

"No, no, no. It's not them," she cooed. "These are _my_ friends, not yours."

The wolves! Everything that had happened had driven them from my mind. There was only minutes left before the moon would rise.

I froze in panic. I had to shield Emily and Jacob. She was human and slow; I could still hear her crashing through the overgrowth.

Irina took advantage of my momentary lapse of focus and sank her teeth into my wrist. The pain of the foreign venom was like a hundred bee stings all directed at one place. I smashed my head down on hers, breaking her grip on me.

My shield flexed, wanting to move from Emily to protect me, but I forced away the need. I had to think. Emily had to be protected, and the wolves had to be restrained. I had never fought while shielding two separate targets before. If I lost focus for even a second…

Dark shapes moved within the forest, defining into the shapes of men and women as they came closer. How many? Ten … fifteen … twenty … they just kept coming.

My urge to protect, battled my urge to punish. If I shielded Emily and Jacob, Irina would be unable to hurt them. The wolves had to be shielded to stop them killing anyone they came across, myself and Irina included.

My decision made, I strengthened my shield around Emily and prepared to face the wolves.

They stepped out of the trees, eying me with professional curiosity. I had expected them to look like the pack, muscular and tall, but they weren't. Other that the distinct wildness about them, they were ordinary looking.

It all happened too fast. Irina twisted beneath me and dislodged me from her back. I leaped towards her, but I was distracted by the pull of the shield. She disappeared into the trees, and with a unified keening groan, the figures before me changed.

Unlike the pack, these didn't explode into their new form. This was a physical transformation. Hands became claws, jaws elongated, brows receded, backs curved and shoulders hunched. Their intelligent human eyes changed to dark pools with no rationality behind them.

I heard Irina's triumphant laugh as she ran from me, and I forced the shield from me, trying to catch her before she got too far, but something was on me. Hot foul breath rasped in my ear as claws tore into my back.

This was so much worse that last time. I could feel just how deep the claws had gone; I almost expected them to scythe through me completely. The pain was intense; a scream tore from my throat of its own volition. I prayed someone would hear me, that they would help.

I twisted and kicked, forcing the wolf from me and threw my shield around them all. I cursed the limitation of my shield. I was unprotected and I wouldn't be able to hold them all night. I wasn't sure I could hold them another hour.

Eleazar said the wolves were completely irrational in this form, that they would kill another of their kind as easily as they would kill a human. These were different. They had been working together so long they had control of their instincts for the fight. All of their focus was upon me. Dark, fathomless eyes fixed on me as they threw themselves at the shield encasing them.

Each blow against the barrier sent a shockwave of pain through my head, but it was nothing compared to the pain in my back. It threatened to overwhelm me and drag me back into the void.

I screamed for Edward, both aloud and in my mind, and sent my pleas to Jasper with all the force I could muster.

The wolves suddenly threw back their heads as one and howled at the sky. There was nothing random about this; they were communicating.

I whimpered. I could hear them coming at me from behind. There were so many of them, too many. I could never shield this many without losing myself to the void. Irina was free, but Emily was still protected.

I didn't have time to even attempt to plan before they were on me. I sent my shield out to encapsulate them, but it held myself in too.

Harsh snarls and rasping growls came at me from all directions as my entire body became a burning torch of pain. I curled into a ball, protecting my head with my hands and tried to focus only on the shield around Emily and not the claws tearing into me.

The shield holding the wolves and myself tugged at me. It was almost as if it wanted to act, and I was holding it back.

I stopped.

I stopped trying to fight the void. I stopped trying to fight the power. I stopped fighting myself.

With an echoing roar the shield contracted in on itself. The howls and snarls cut off, and the claws raking my flesh disappeared. It felt a little like being caught in a wind tunnel. I felt the pressure, but for a split second, there was no pain.

Scared of what I might see, I opened my eyes. The wolves were gone. There was nothing left but a mass of torn flesh and fur and bone. I was surrounded by carnage, carnage that I had created.

I was horrified at what I had done. All those lives…

The void came and once again I had no strength to fight it.


	31. All Or Nothing At All

**Jasper POV**

Carlisle knelt beside the girl and ran a hand over her face, closing her eyes. It didn't make her look peaceful as he had hoped, but at least we weren't held by her accusatory gaze anymore.

"Irina did this," he said, looking at Tanya and Kate. "Her scent is all over the body. Bella has been here too at the same time. You need to prepare yourselves for the fact your sister is likely dead now."

His tone was calm, but his eyes were dark with his anger. He knew the girl, not well, but she was someone that had visited the house when Bella was in the coma. Her death was a blow to him, especially as he knew even now, Bella was aware that it had happened and would be hurting.

"You think Bella will have killed her?" Kate asked quietly.

"I think she will. The only thing that could cause her to falter is her love for your coven, but this girl was one of Bella's friends, too."

"If Bella hasn't killed the leech, we will," Edward said. His toneless voice made it clear he was translating for one of the wolves. When he spoke again, his voice was a fierce growl.

"If Bella doesn't, _I_ will. Irina has crossed a line. This girl was once a friend of Bella's, and now she is dead."

One of the wolves whimpered fretfully, and Edward nodded to him. "Sam, you should take the pack back to the reservation. We will search for Bella and Irina, then join you there if we haven't found them before the moon." He paused for a moment as someone else spoke through the pack mind. "Very well."

"Very well, what?" Esme asked impatiently. She was anxious, and the scent of human blood thick in the air wasn't helping.

"They want some of us to go with them. They believe that we would be better able to protect people if we were situated where we know they will strike. They're right."

He sighed heavily, raking his hands through his hair. I understood his predicament as I was feeling the same thing. Bella was here somewhere, probably distraught at the death of her friend and facing a hostile vampire. She was more than a match for Irina. I was sure she was even now destroying her. If she learned we had abandoned the people of La Push to search for her, she would be furious, but I wanted to be with her now, helping her.

"Edward and I will look for Bella and Irina," I said. "The rest of you should head to the reservation."

"We need a wolf," Edward added. "We can use the pack mind to communicate if we find something."

The large brown wolf I recognized as Jared tilted his head to Edward, and he smiled.

"Jared it is then. If anything happens send a message to us."

I kissed Alice, and then ran with Edward and Jared along the path of Bella scent. It followed the exact part of Irina. I imagined a chase, or perhaps Bella had dragged her away from her friend's body before destroying her out of respect. It was a very Bella thing to do.

When we reached the river, the scent trail stopped. Edward and I jumped it, and Jared swam through. We expected to pick it up at the other side, but there was no trace of them.

"This makes no sense," Edward muttered. "Why would she try to hide her path?"

"Maybe she didn't. If Irina took to the water, it would be harder for Bella to give chase."

We followed the riverbank, searching for another trace of their scent, but there was none. We didn't even know which direction she would have run in.

Jared whined and Edward nodded.

"I know, but I don't know what to do," he said desperately.

"How about you start by telling me what you're talking about," I said.

"Jared is worrying that we are running out of time. Without Bella, the others will need all the fighters they can get to fight the werewolves, but I don't like the fact I don't know where she is. She wouldn't take time dealing with Irina if she believed the wolves were coming. She either knows something we don't, or something has happened to her."

"And if we play the odds…." I trailed off as certainly stole over me. Something had happened. This was Bella, if something could go wrong, it usually did.

Edward looked horrified as he followed my thoughts.

"But, what?" he asked. "Bella is more than a match for Irina, even without the shield, she could beat her in her…" He bent over, covering his face. "The void. The damn void. Why didn't we see? She wasn't chasing Irina. She was being carried by her."

Pure, cold, fear coursed through me. Bella would have been horrified when she saw Jessica, which could easily have triggered the void. If she was unable to defend herself, Irina could easily have taken the opportunity to strike.

Jared lifted his head and howled. He cut off abruptly when I kicked him. "Shut up! You want to bring them all running here and leave your people unprotected?"

He whined and Edward's eyes snapped up to meet his.

"Tell them no. We will find her. She will be okay. If the wolves come there and hurt people, she will be devastated."

I understood that he was reacting to whatever he was hearing in the pack mind. Someone must have told the family what was happening. Of course they would want to help us find Bella, but it would leave everyone else unprotected.

"Bella will be fine," he muttered to himself, raking his hands through his hair. "She can take care of herself."

"She can," I repeated, comforting myself with his words. "The physical shield covers her when she is in the void. Think how it was before. Irina can carry her about, but she can't… hurt her."

I could not say the word that came to my head. I couldn't even allow myself to think of it. If I lost myself to the fear, I would be no use to anyone, least of all her.

Edward nodded, hearing my thoughts and seeing the logic in them. "What do we do now, though? They could be anywhere. How do we find them?"

"We split up and spread out. Eventually we will cross their scent path. We have our phones, and Jared has a howl like a foghorn."

I ran through the trees, my senses alert for any sign of Irina or Bella's scent. I sent out my gifts as far as I could, hoping to find Bella through her enhanced ability to send, but she was either too far away, or still caught in the void.

The moon rose, and there was still no sign of her. I wondered if the wolves had reached La Push yet and felt a wave of fear for Alice. I knew she could take care of herself, but I wanted to be there to protect her. I now knew how it felt to be torn between my mate and my best friend. Alice would understand; in fact, she would be angry if I abandoned the search to help her, but that did not ease my tormented thoughts.

I heard stumbling footsteps and raced towards them. It had to be a human to be moving so slowly, but I didn't care. I could be glittering like a disco ball at the moment and would still go to them. Whoever it was may know something about Bella.

I heard a baby's whimpering cries and knew immediately who I would find.

I shouted out to her. "Emily!"

"I'm here! I'm here!"

She was standing on the rough trail, her child clutched to her chest as if she feared someone would snatch him away from her.

"What happened?" I demanded.

"Vampire … Bella … shield … escape … run …" She babbled incoherently, and I shoved a wave of calm at her, but it was sent back at me; Bella was shielding her.

"Where is Bella?" I asked.

"Back somewhere," she said, pointing east. "I think. She told me to run, but I got lost."

I was torn. I could follow her scent path back to Bella, but it would leave her and her child helpless in the middle of the forest. She was still miles from the road.

There was a phrase humans used when weighing a decision – _What would God do?_ When Emmett heard it the first time, he coined the term WWCD, _What would Carlisle do._ It had helped me when I was faced with the overpowering temptation as the answer was to always resist. Now I asked myself what would _Bella_ do. I knew the answer. She would make the human safe first.

"Hold the baby tight," I ordered, then swept her into my arms. I ran with her through the trees, back to the road. The baby cried, not liking the wind buffeting his face, but it was worth a little windburn if it got them to safety and me to Bella.

The scent of the exhaust fumes and asphalt reached me first, and I pushed myself even faster. There was a car parked on the side of the road, and I recognized it as one Sam had used when visiting us.

Emily breathed a sigh of relief when she saw it. I set her down on her feet.

"Get away from here. Go back to the reservation and find the safest place you can. We think the wolves are here now."

She nodded shakily, and I left her and ran back into the forest. Now that I could use my fullest speed, I found the place I had met with Emily in no time. Her back trail was easy to follow, but frustrating as she had had circled her own path many times.

Suddenly, an echoing howl split the air. It was not that of one of the pack. This howl was piercing and full of pain. I ran toward the sound, knowing instinctively that wherever this was, Bella was there too.

"Bella!" I could feel her again. She was terrified.

Almost as the word left my mouth there was another sound. This was like the blast of a sonic boom, and it made the ground shake. The air became thick with the scent of spoiled blood, exactly as they had said there werewolves smelled.

"Bella! Where are you?" I shouted, even as I ran toward her.

I burst into a clearing, and was momentarily frozen by the scene before me. Slaughter like I had not seen since my time in Maria's army was strewn about the clearing. Mutilated flesh covered the ground, the only clear space a small circle in the center. Curled in the middle of the space was…

"Bella!"


	32. Anything Goes

**Jasper POV**

My heart sank to somewhere in the region of my stomach. She had been savaged so bad she was almost unrecognizable.

My feet drew me to her side without conscious instruction, and my knees buckled.

I knelt beside her and brushed aside the hair covering her face with a shaking hand. Her eyes were wide and staring; she was in the void. For the first time I was grateful for it, the pain of her injuries would be unbearable.

There was a gash across her cheek that was trying to heal. Most of the injuries were trying to heal, but they were just too deep. Her sweater had been reduced to tatters, leaving her bare to my eyes. The sight of her naked chest affected me no more than it had when she was being shocked back into life before her change. The horror of the situation overpowered modesty.

"You're okay, Bella. I'm here now, and I'm going to take care of you," I whispered.

She couldn't hear me, of course, but I felt better while speaking.

I tore away the remains of her shirt and hissed between my teeth as I saw her ravaged back. One of the gashes was so deep I feared if I uncurled her from the protective ball she was positioned in, I would see it had pierced her stomach too.

I started with that wound; I held together the separated skin then watched as the venom knitted her skin together. It took time due to the depth, but eventually there was an unblemished strip of skin again.

I set to work, healing each of the visible gashes on her back. I tried not to think of what I was doing too much, the knowledge of how these injuries had been caused threatened to break my mind.

Choking sobs broke through my chest as I worked. I felt desperate sadness the scale of which I had not felt since she had run from us. How could anyone, any _thing,_ do this toher?

When her back was completely healed, I turned her gently and worked on the areas of her sides and stomach their claws had reached.

I spoke to her all the time, reassuring her and joking and generally talking nonsense.

"You know Emmett is never going to wrestle with you again now you apparently have the ability to turn werewolves to pulp."

"Eleazar and Carlisle are going to have a field day with this. How on earth you did it I can't imagine, but it is a nifty trick."

"Edward is not going to be happy about that sweater, you know. He likes you in blue. Still, Alice will have an excuse to take you shopping to replace it. You'll enjoy that won't you?"

Her wide staring eyes showed no sign of awareness, and the horror I had been fighting since I first saw her broke over me, and I began to sob in earnest. I held her hand to my face and rocked on my knees.

"Oh God, Bella, look what they did to you," I moaned.

I didn't know how long I was there, giving voice to my sorrow, but the sound of someone approaching jolted me back to the present. Not knowing why I did it, other than the fact it felt right, I whipped off my jacket and covered Bella's bare flesh.

I crouched in front of her, my arms spread wide, ready to protect.

A figure sprinted into the clearing then halted in her their tracks as she saw me. Irina.

"Oh … I'm glad you're here. I tried to stop them, but she told me to go for help," she lied. "I couldn't find anyone, so I came back. She was protecting me."

"You are a lying bitch," I said calmly. "You did this to her, you and your wolves."

"No! I was trying to help her. I swear, Jasper, I learned my lesson. I would never hurt any of our family again."

I growled deep in my throat. The fact she dared to stand here in front of Bella's ravaged form, and pretend she was protecting her, sent rage coursing through me.

Perhaps she saw the fury in my eyes, or she realized her lies weren't convincing me, I didn't know. But I didn't care either. She turned to run back into the trees, but I was on her before she could get more than a few feet.

I tore her arm from its socket and threw it across the clearing. Her scream of pain was heavenly music; it soothed me. Her other arm was next. Then she fell to the ground. Two swift twists and her legs were gone and all that remained to be removed was her head.

"Please, Jasper, don't do it," she whimpered. "I'm family, you can't hurt me."

I smiled evilly. "You're wrong."

I ran my teeth across her neck and removed her head. This was justice.

I stood over her decapitated torso for a moment. My unneeded breath came in pants. I waited for some emotion to penetrate other that the fury, but there was none. I had done what was needed, and I felt no regret. I knew I would have to face the emotions of her family later, but I didn't care.

"She's gone now," I said, dropping down beside Bella again. "I took care of her. Now I can take care of you."

I removed my jacket and continued healing to her wounds. Her back and stomach were now returned to flawless skin, but I couldn't straighten her legs to tend to them.

I needed help. I needed her to wake up.

"Bella, I need you to come back now. I can't heal you properly like this. Please wake up. Please." I was begging as I finished.

Now that the main horror of her situation was gone, the deeper fear was creeping in. She had been through so much, too much. What if she couldn't come back to us? What if she didn't want to?

"Bella," I said harshly. "Wake up _now_. Edward will be here soon, and he can't see you like this. Think of him, think of Esme and Carlisle. What will it do to them to see you like this again? Wake up."

I shook her lightly, but it didn't work. Her head lolled back and then fell onto my shoulder.

I sat back on the ground and cradled her on my lap. She was still curled into a ball, and that coupled with the vulnerability she radiated while in the void, made her look childlike.

I smoothed back her hair and rocked her gently. I had wanted to do this so many times when she was in the coma when she had been sad or scared. I couldn't then, but I could now.

"Okay, then, we'll just wait a while," I said.

I didn't know what else to do. I hoped Edward or someone else would have heard the howling of the wolves and come to find us. But it had already been so long, and there was no sign. I was sure from the sheer amount of body parts here that this had been the entire pack of werewolves. That meant the others were waiting in La Push for an enemy that wouldn't come.

Our best hope was that Emily would find someone and tell them what had happened.

"Just me and you then, Bella," I said.

I felt a small spark of emotion in return. It was barely perceptible, but it was there. She was working her way back.

"That's it, darlin'," I said softly. "You can do it. Come back to me and I can fix you up. You're not looking your best right now."

' _Edward?'_

I felt a wave of relief. She was cognizant enough to communicate.

"He's not here right now, but he's okay. How about you? Can you wake?"

' _Can't. I need help.'_

"I know. I have healed as much as I can, but you are too frozen to get to the others. What can I do?"

' _Don't know.'_

The last time we had jolted her out of the void when she heard Edward and I fighting, but I couldn't very well start fighting with myself. I had an idea, but I had a feeling if I did this I was going to be thrown through a tree. Could I do it…?

' _Someone is coming.'_

"The family? The pack?"

' _The Volturi.'_

Oh shit. I had no choice now; she needed to be awake and functioning for this.

"Please don't kill me, Bella," I said desperately.

' _Why would I–!'_

Her message cut off as I tilted her head back and pressed my lips to hers. It was not the usual peck we exchanged, this was searing and passionate and quite disturbing.

With a force like a hammer blow, I was forced away from her and thrown into the trees.

"What the fuck was that?" she demanded.

I was so relieved to see her standing, that I lost my sense. I ran back to her, intending to embrace her, but she pushed me away.

"I don't think so mister. You can keep your lips to yourself." She crossed her arms over her chest. "Where is my sweater?"

"I had to rip it off," I said, hurrying on when her mouth dropped open. "You were hurt, Bella. You are still hurt."

She looked down at her legs, seeing the deep gashes in her jeans and the torn skin beneath. "Huh, you'd think that would hurt wouldn't you. I guess it's like they say about bee stings, once you have been stung enough, you stop feeling them. Once you have been mauled by enough wolves, you stop feeling the pain."

I wondered if she was entirely sane. She seemed detached from it all, as if she wasn't standing with legs like grated cheese, surrounded by the bloody remains of a pack of wolves.

"They're getting closer now," she said conversationally. "You should probably go."

"The hell you say. Bella, if you are right and the Volturi are here, we need to get to the family."

"Too late. We'd only put them in danger if we went to them now. We need to let them come to us,"

Now I was _sure_ she wasn't entirely sane. The way she spoke was void of emotion, she could have been commenting on the weather.

"Let me do the talking," she continued. "Just stand still and look dangerous." She gave me a contemplative glance. "Just like that."

"Bella, I really don't think–"

She cut me off. "Do you trust me, Jasper?"

"With my life," I said honestly.

"Then just do as I say, and we will all be okay."

I didn't have a chance to answer as soft footfalls reached us. There were at least a dozen of them. I knew the scent of Santiago, but the others were unfamiliar.

' _Aro, Caius, Marcus, Felix, Chelsea, Jane, Alec…"_

She reeled off the names as they stepped into the clearing, and with each I felt a chill of horror.

"Aro, Caius, Marcus," she greeted each of them with a nod. "Nice to see you again."


	33. The Beginning Of The End

**Bella POV**

Unlike the last time I had faced them, I felt no fear as the Volturi positioned themselves before us. This time I knew who and what I was, and their intimidation tactics were pointless.

I held my shield over Jasper and myself, protecting us from their gifts.

"Isabella, you are looking as beautiful as ever," Aro said. "And this must be Jasper. It is delightful to meet you at last. I have been curious ever since Marcus read Isabella." He reached out and touched Marcus' hand. "Ahh, yes, it was him all along."

Jasper's serene mask broke for a moment as he looked to me, but I shook my head. This was not the time to get into these discussions.

Caius looked around the meadow, seeing the slaughter my gift had left of the wolves. He tried hard to hide it, but he was shocked. Asima had never done this.

"You are injured, Isabella," he said solicitously.

I waved an airy hand. "It's nothing. It was worth the pain to remove the threat."

That was a total lie. I was horrified that I had essentially become a mass-murderer, but I couldn't allow myself to dwell on that now.

"Is that the Denali girl?" Felix said, disappointment heavy in his tone. Apparently, he had taken a liking to Irina.

I had been trying to avoid looking at her twitching remains, but now I forced my face into a satisfied smile and glanced at her.

"Yes, Jasper dealt with her, and I the wolves; all in all we have had a productive evening. I'm afraid we left nothing for you to do though." I fixed my eyes on Aro. This was the moment that mattered. If my plan was to work, he had to agree. "Would you like to see?"

Jasper tensed, a low growl rumbling in his chest. I reached for his hand and gave it a brief warning squeeze.

' _I know what I am doing.'_

' _You better.'_

Aro noticed the motion, and his expression became greedy. His curiosity won out yet again, and he smiled.

"I would very much like to see your memories of the event."

I stepped forward and extended a hand to him. He grabbed at it as if he expected me to change my mind any moment.

His head bowed over our clasped hands, and his eyes slipped closed. Now was the time. Stretching my shield over him, I rebounded his own gift to me.

I was assaulted by images. Had I been human, it would have killed me instantly. There was no way my brain could have processed it all. It would have been called an aneurism or a stroke, but it would have been death by power.

I slowed the speed of memories, picking the ones I wanted. I searched for familiar names and faces, and saw every thought he and his fellows had of my family.

After I had left Volterra, they had discussed our family. He wanted Alice and Edward, but believed they were a worthy price of gaining my ability.

He didn't even realize what I was doing as he believed it was his own thoughts he was seeing reflected in my mind. I pinned him in place with the physical shield anyway. I didn't want to risk him discovering what I was doing before I was finished.

I saw my face more and more often as I searched, along with a male vampire I didn't know. Somehow this vampire was to help him in his acquisition of me if he failed now. He was disappointed that the rest of the family weren't here and planned to send Demetri for them next.

I had seen enough. I could now put my plan into action.

' _I know why you are here, and what you are planning.'_ I began.

I knew he heard the thought as he stiffened, and his eyes snapped up to meet mine. He realized what I had done, and the thought horrified him.

' _You know what I am and what I can do. You are going to tell your guard the threat has passed. You are going to tell Fred that I am not his after all, and then you will leave us alone.'_

' _What makes you think you have the power to order me to do anything?'_ His voice was creepy at the best of times, but to hear it speak directly into my mind was a foul sensation. I felt dirtied.

' _I know I have the power, and so do you. I am like Asima, and unlike her, I will not allow that power to destroy me. All I want is for my family and I to be left in peace to live out our eternity. You can remain the rulers of our kind. You are a necessary evil, but you will leave me alone. If you don't, I will start with Chelsea. How powerful do you think you would be if all the artificial bonds were broken? I will use Jane's power to make you all writhe on the floor in agony. I will use Alec to freeze you all as Jasper and I destroy you one by one. I will do all this and more, and I will enjoy it._

I heard the fear in his thoughts and smiled. He was terrified, more scared that he had ever been in his long life.

' _What do you want?'_

' _You will leave us alone. You will not send your guard to America again, and in return, I will not step foot in Europe. Imagine a vertical line crossing the oceans on either side. You will not cross it, and neither will I. Do we have an understanding?'_

He tried to tug his hand from my grip, but I held firm.

' _I said, do we have an understanding? I want to hear you say it. Swear that you will leave us alone. I will know if you are lying.'_

' _We have an understanding. I will not come for you again, but you will not come for us either. These are not all the wolves in existence, and your coven is not the most gifted. If you test me, I will destroy you all. Your gift is not so valuable that I will allow you to usurp my position. I have sacrificed too much already.'_

' _Yes, Didyme. I saw that. She was a beautiful woman. How did it feel to kill your own sister? I imagine you are grateful you can't dream anymore. That would surely give you nightmares.'_

He tugged his hand away, and this time I let him. He schooled his features into a serene smile again and turned to his guard and brothers.

"Isabella has shown me that the threat has indeed been dealt with fully. We can now return to our beloved Volterra. Felix, Santiago, if you would be so kind as to remove the evidence." He gestured to the mounds of flesh that were once wolves. "And then we can be on our way, and the Denali girl, of course. It would be unkind to leave her in this state. Isabella, would you like her destruction made final or should we take her back with us? I could find a use for her in the castle, a secretary perhaps."

I looked at the twitching limbs and considered. I wanted her dead, but that was for my own revenge. If Tanya and Kate were to ever come to terms with what their sister had done, she needed to be living. Otherwise she would become a martyr to her love, and they would never recover.

"You can take her with you," I said. "But please, make sure she stays away. If our paths cross again, I _will_ destroy her." _I will also destroy you._

Aro saw the hidden meaning in my words and nodded. "I will make sure of it."

"We are done, Master," Santiago said sycophantically. The flesh that had been wolves had been buried under a huge mound. The blood was still thick on the ground, but that would be cleared by the rain.

"Very well, let us go home. Isabella, Jasper, please pass on my regards to the rest of your family. I don't believe we will be seeing you again."

He turned on his heel and swept away. Casting us curious, and in Caius' case, furious glances, the others followed.

I waited until they were well out of earshot and then sank to the clear, though still bloodied, ground, and buried my face in my hands.

Jasper sat beside me and wrapped an arm around my shoulders. "You're going to have to explain what just happened at some point."

"I will," I promised. "Jasper."

"Yes, darlin'."

"I'm really tired. I think it's time to go home now."


	34. Epilogue

**~ Epilogue ~**

I sat back on the sand and watched as Alice and Bella gamboled in the waves of La Push beach. Their laughter was constant and it warmed my heart.

The treaty had officially been voided. Bella's sacrifice to save Emily and Jacob had won her a place of devotion among the Quileutes, especially Sam. He would never forget what she had done for him and strived every day to repay the debt. This barbeque on the beach for the pack and our family was just one of those ways. However, they would be the only ones eating.

It was six months since the solstice and Bella was finally recovering.

Physically she was fine — the horrific injuries the wolves had caused were healed almost immediately — but mentally she had suffered. To a heart as pure as hers, there was no excuse for the destruction she had wrought in our meadow. Her shield killed the wolves and she carried enormous guilt because of it.

When I found Bella and Jasper in the meadow, I feared she was truly broken. Her eyes stared out unseeingly, indifferent to her surroundings from her place cradled in Jasper's arms. She was in the void.

Only Jasper's words saved me from outright panic.

"She's okay," he said. "She's just resting awhile."

Resting awhile. She stayed resting for _quite_ a while. I took her home and Jasper went to find the family to tell them it was over. I bathed her and changed her into comfortable clothes. All the while she remained oblivious to it all.

It was the sounds of our family's return that brought her out of herself again. With a quiet sigh, she roused herself.

"Hello, love," I greeted her gently.

She didn't speak, but curled herself into my lap and nuzzled my neck.

She didn't speak for days. We stayed together curled into each other in our bedroom and ignored all that happened around us. From time to time, the family would come to our room and check on us, but they didn't try to force us to speak. Jasper had told them all he could of what had happened and that satisfied them for a while.

On the fifth day after the wolves attack, Bella opened her mind and allowed me to hear her thoughts for the first time since she had come out of the void.

' _Thank you for not rushing me.'_

She must have lifted her shield from Jasper too, and he came up the stairs and into our room.

"Hey, Darlin'," he said. "Are you ready to talk about it?"

"I think so."

She took my hand and led me downstairs to meet with the family who were all waiting for us. Curling herself up on my lap, she began the slow and painstaking task of telling us all that had happened.

We had barely reacted to one bombshell before she dropped another. Irina had killed Jessica. Emily had been her hostage. Bella and Irina had fought. The wolves had come and savaged Bella. Her shield had destroyed them all. It seemed a never-ending tale.

When Bella faltered, Jasper took up the story, telling us of how he had found her in the meadow, trapped in the void, and how she had slowly clawed her way back to consciousness. Then the arrival of the Volturi.

Of all the things that told us about, that was the most shocking. My Bella had faced the Volturi with only Jasper to support her, and she had been the victor. In true Bella fashion, she had not used violence but words.

"I read Aro's mind," she said with remarkable aplomb. "I saw his life and I saw his weaknesses. He fears losing his power more than anything, so I threatened it. I told him I would tear his coven apart and leave him without his precious guard. The threat worked; he will leave us alone. For now."

"For now?" Carlisle asked.

"Yes. He has other plans in place and will undoubtedly come for us again, but for now we are safe."

The idea that we would have to face the Volturi again was frightening, but I had every confidence that we would make it through again. We had Bella on our side.

"She's doing good." Jasper's voice pulled me from my thoughts.

I looked over at Bella, who was now being chased through the water by Jared. Her gales of laughter brought a smile to my face.

"Yes, she is. She's strong," I replied.

"No one stronger," he said thoughtfully.

An image of Bella's shield sending him flying away from her raced through his mind, and my mouth dropped open.

"Tell me that was a fantasy and not what really happened," I demanded.

He jumped to his feet and held his hands up in front of him in a placatory manner.

"Now, Edward, calm down.|"

"You."

"I was trying to help!" he babbled.

"Kissed."

"It didn't mean anything."

"Bella!" I roared.


End file.
